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Hi all, I'm a 20+ year sufferer of extremely TRD and am trying LSD (1P-LSD, more specifically) microdosing to help lift my mood and combat anhedonia. I'd love to know if anyone else has tried this. Specifically: what was your regimen? e.g. every 3 days?, dosage, substance, method did any initial beneficial effects increase over time? if so, over what kind of period? did you develop a tolerance? did it help with your anhedonia? did you try more than a microdose e.g. 1/4, 1/2 or even a whole tab? If so, how was that therapeutically? FTR, I'm taking 10ug (1/10th of a tab) every 3 days using the volumetric method. I felt notably more energetic and less severely depressed within an hour of dosing. This persisted for ~ 14 hours. I couldn't sleep. Now, the next day, I feel kind of back to normal (i.e. feel very depressed and anhedonic), which is very demoralising. Thanks, Pete
Hey guys! First post on this website. TLDR- I have an obsessive fear that the world isn't real. It's hard to know if I believe in this idea (solipsism) or not, because if I did fully embrace it I don't believe that I would be afraid of it/ feel intuitively like something is wrong. Backstory: Tripped on LSD two months ago, have never had any history of mental illness, got horribly depressed after the trip and started encountering this thought. I am obsessed with this thought, and think about it almost every second of the day. It's incredibly distressing, but I've started to develop habits to cope: spending time with family, seeing friends, running every day, exercising whenever I can, playing music. The power of the thought is definitely lessening-- I'm not as scared of it as I once was but I am exhausted by it: why do I obsess? It's so freaking annoying etc. Counterthoughts that have helped me: There's zero proof of this thought to hold any weight. I've lived 24 years of NEVER believing or feeling this way, this is obviously not how I'm "supposed" to feel. If this reality was fake, does it really matter? If I'm still able to love the people around me and feel emotion towards them, then this is as REAL as I need it to be. Prior to this "thought" I was almost always happy, which is something that in retrospect I have realized I took for granted 100%. This my first venture into depression and mental health issues and it is truly terrifying. Would love some guidance or assistance with this/ if anyone has any similar thoughts/ feelings and how they were able to overcome. Need to beat this.
Hi everyone, this is my first post here. So about seven months ago I had my first episode of psychosis during my junior year at the university after heavy psychedelic use. I was tripping about 3 times a week for a month, I was using dmt, lots of mushrooms, lsd and morning glory seeds. The symptoms started slowly at first but progressed rather fast once they got started. At first I had thought blocking, which is where I would be talking about something and my thoughts would go blank mid sentence. I also kept my iPod on shuffle and thought God was sending messages to me through the songs that came on. I started to have superstitions about certain colors of cars or the cloths people were wearing. I started thinking about things before they happened and seeing 222, 333, 444, and other repeating numbers in random places and when I looked at the time. What started next, was I started feeling things that weren't there, was convinced I was the antichrist or someone similar to Jesus, and thought I was possessed my a demon. Then came the hallucinations, they started as just objects in the outside world moving and breathing and then they turned into "internal" visions where I would see things in my head like animals, faces, patterns, and vivid scenes that went along with my paranoid thoughts. Anyways I spent a week at the psych floor at my local hospital. Got put on risperidol, and went off of it and the symptoms got worse. And I thought people could read my mind and other language based delusions. Thanks to my loving parents I ended up getting on invega and it took about a month for it to fully take effect. I've been delusion and hallucination free for the past four moths but I've been battling pretty bad depression for the past month or two. It gets rough sometimes but I have a really good doctor and cognitive behavioral therapist I can rely on. The only thing that keeps me going are lots of cigarettes, good music, and how much my parents love me. Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope to contribute more to this forum. The rabbit hole goes deep.
Hi I am a 21-year-old girl, and I experienced a psychotic break back in the beginning of September when I was still 20. I was diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis. I am now on the anti-psychotic Fanapt (4mg/day) and the anti-depressant Lexapro (15mg/day). I first started smoking when I was in high school, the summer into my sophomore year. I only smoked about once a week throughout high school, but I preferred drinking over smoking. This continued when I began college, where I rarely smoked weed my freshman year and instead got drunk multiple times per week. The summer into my sophomore year of college, I began smoking weed about every day (I was influenced by friends and a guy) and I experienced my first acid trip at a Phish concert. I had an incredibly wonderful time as I was with my two best friends and my guy. Later that summer I tripped on acid again, two times in two days at a music festival. Again I had a very pleasant experience. I smoked pot about two times a week when I returned to school in the fall. That winter break I went to another Phish concert on New Years Eve. That night I had a horrifying trip that would be extremely scary at moments and then pretty good at other moments, with the scary parts sneaking up on me throughout the night. I threw up that night twice while tripping, and I also got snapped at by a friend’s dog, which while tripping, looked like a monster was trying to eat me. Later that week, I experienced what I believed was a flashback, but instead of a dog trying to snap at me, I imagined my boyfriend snapped at me when he hadn’t. I thought I was going crazy and when I returned to school I had a hard time and did poorly in my classes. I kept overanalyzing everything and couldn’t understand why the bad trip had happened. I was down to smoking weed about three times a week while at school. When summer came around I was in much better spirits, and was smoking weed almost every day again. I went to a music festival and tripped acid for the first time since the bad trip, and I had a wonderful time. At moments while tripping, I thought that I heard someone calling my name, but no one was. I also tripped again two times in two days at a different music festival later in the summer. At this festival, I started believing that everything was happening for a reason and that everything was already planned out for me. I remember thinking to myself that if anyone had DMT, I would smoke it, and right after having that thought, someone popped up and said they had some, but I ended up not accepting their offer. As the summer continued more weird coincidences were happening that were freaking me out. I was fishing at camp one day, and when I would have a good thought, I would right away catch a fish, and I thought the universe was trying to send me messages. When I went back to school that fall, more weird things happened. I needed a hat to work at a food co-op, and I randomly found a great hat on the floor, which I thought I manifested with my mind. Then, one night I took one and half pills of a pain killer mixed with alcohol, and the next morning I woke up thinking I was completely crazy. I researched schizophrenia online, and noticed that one of the symptoms was hearing your name. I immediately thought not only was I schizophrenic, but that I was at a college where we were supposed to find out what mental disorder we had and that having schizophrenia meant I was a person of the future and had special powers. Later that night, I went to a concert with a friend, where I drank and smoked a lot. I went to an after party, where I had the choice of staying and meeting the band, or leaving with my ride. I chose the former, and stayed with a friend. My friend was my best friend’s ex boyfriend, and we started cuddling a little, and I started getting the paranoid thought that he had planned this encounter. The morning came, and a violent movie was playing on tv, and I suddenly thought I was in a killer’s house. Our ride wasn’t coming for another hour or so, and I called my parents and my old boyfriend saying how scared I was. My parents came to pick me up and brought me to a hospital, where I was released after a few hours because I explained I just wanted to try a few drugs for research purposes. My parents left me at school and went back home, but the next few days I went a little bit crazier. I was walking to class, when a large burst of wind came by and I felt as though the wind was telling me to not go to class. I then thought that there were going to be bombs on campus, and I ran back to my apartment. I went to a meeting that night for a club I was in, and when my friend said, “It’s hot in here,” I immediately thought we were all going to be in an oven and burn. I ran out of the meeting and ran around the main street. I decided to run to the metro, and get as far away from the city as possible. I hopped on a school bus with some kids I met at the metro stop, smoked weed with them, and ended up in another state. I left the kids at a diner we had stopped at, and called my sister who lived nearby to pick me up. I was extremely paranoid at this point, and I thought that people at the diner were going to try to kill me. When I got to my sister’s apartment, I thought that at midnight we were all going to turn into uncontrollable animals and that I would try to hurt my sister. I could not sleep because I also thought that the friend from the concert was trying to cut off my limbs in a parallel world that I would wake up to if I fell asleep. I stayed up all night, and in the morning when they tried to take me to the hospital, I started running around naked, and took a dump on my sister’s bathroom floor as a symbol of protest. Eventually an ambulance was called, and I was brought to the hospital, where no drugs were found in my system. I was brought back to my home state, and entered into a psych ward where I was put on Risperidol, but was changed to Abilify after my prolactin levels went up. I was still having delusional thoughts and was hearing messages through the tv and the radio even after I was released from the hospital. I was brought back to the psych ward because I was having incredibly excruciating migraines and threatened to kill myself. I was then put on Fanapt, and finally stopped having delusional thoughts around mid-October. Because I was upset about no longer being able to return to the school I was at and feeling as though I had lost my social skills, I was put on Lexapro in January to deal with my depression. The Lexapro seems to be working and I am no longer having suicidal thoughts. I will begin to be weaned off the Fanapt around the end of May, and I am applying to schools in my home state to return to in the fall. I know that I want to smoke weed again, but my psychiatrist says there is a chance I would go back into my psychotic state. I don’t feel delusional now, which I had been even the few months prior to the actual break, so I’m not sure if that would be the result. Anyway, I wrote this all just to introduce myself to the forum, and maybe hear from people who have had similar experiences. I’d also like to know if anyone had a psychotic break and continued to smoke pot after no longer having psychotic symptoms and what happened to them. Thanks for reading! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tl;dr: a couple of acid trips along with smoking a lot of pot led me to experience drug induced psychosis, so I ran away from college and am now back in my home state. I am recovering while taking fanapt, lexapro, and figuring out which school to go to while debating if I can ever smoke pot again.