Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'maladaptive behavior'.

More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
    • Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
    • Depression - Let a WHAT Be My Fucking Umbrella? (Sod You, Perry Como)
    • Self-injury - The Cutting Board
    • Personality Disorders - Fuck Off! No, Wait. Fuck Me Now!
    • Eating Disorders - Hell's Kitchen
    • Substance Abuse / Addictive Behavior - 8-balls, Highballs, Deal Me in One Last Time
    • Panic / Anxiety Disorders - What, Me Worry?
    • PTSD and Trauma- Duck and Cover. Again and Again.
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Click Here Repeatedly
    • Social Phobia - Behind Paranoid Eyes
    • Dissociative Disorders - Now where was I?
    • Schizophrenia and Various Psychoses -- Jesus Had a Twin Who Knew Nothing About Sin
    • ADD/ADHD - Could You Say That Again? I Was Listening to My Head.
    • Autistic Spectrum Disorders - What Part of English Don't You Understand?
    • Migraines and Other Headaches - Not Tonight, Dear
    • Neuropathic and Chronic Pain
    • Seizure Disorders - Shake, Rattle and Roll
    • Sleep Disorders - Perchance to Dream
    • Allergies: Benadryl? No, But I Have a Cousin Who Was a Dremel.
    • Hormone and Glandular Problems - How Do You Make a Hormone? Kick Her in the Ankle.
    • Not Otherwise Specified - Put your finger on your NOS, on your NOS
  • Meds and Other Crap That Make Life Tolerable
    • Anticonvulsants / Mood Stabilizers - Bodies A-Twitchin', Moods A-Switchin'
    • Antidepressants - If You're Crappy and You Know It
    • Cocktails - Medicated to the Gills and Floundering
    • Antipsychotics / Neuroleptics / Major Tranquilizers - The Acme Pill-O-Matics
    • Miscellaneous Medications & Miscellaneous Questions About Meds
    • Benzodiazepines - Take a Chill Pill!
    • CNS Stimulants - Warped & Wired
    • Side Effects - It Turned Me into a Newt! A Newt? I Got Better.
    • What The Hell is THAT? - Medical, Nutritional, and Lifestyle Alternatives
    • Therapy - The Other Half of the Puzzle
    • ECT etc. - Watt's up, Doc?
  • Crap You Read About
    • Academic Interests - Geek Out While You Freak Out
    • Books Reviews - Self Help and Otherwise
  • Life Cycle: Mate Spawn and Die
    • Family Feud
    • Parenting/Pregnancy/Childhood Issues - Nature or Nurture
    • Relationship Issues - Crazy For Loving You
    • Aging Issues: Hot Flashes and Hot Rods? Midlife Crisis, Menopause, and Beyond
    • Spirituality - Luminous Beings Are We, Not This Crude Matter
    • Grief, Death and Dying
  • Your Crappy Life
    • The Health Care System Sucks!
    • Law, Money, and Employment -- Send Lawyers Guns and Money
    • Technology Sucks! - Luddites Unite!
    • News and Politics - Next on Sick Sad World
    • People Suck!
    • Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgendered Issues - Out of the Closet and Out of Our Minds
    • Intro to Being a Crazy Student - Whatsamatta U
    • The Confessional
    • I've *Still* Got Issues!
  • Other Crap
    • Whatever
    • I Got the Good Stuff Here
  • Generic Forum Crap
    • Board News - Incoming Message from The Big Giant Head
    • Suggestion Board - I'm Sorry Dave, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That
    • New User Info - It's Not Easy Being Green
    • Introductions - Who The Hell Are You?
    • Moderators - Pay No Attention to the People Behind the Curtain
    • Test Board - Do Not Push the Big Red Button!
  • Coronavirus: Because You Don’t Have Enough Crap On Your Mind
    • I Need An Adult!: Where to Find Accurate Information
    • Has Anyone Told the Amish?: Covid-19 in the Media
    • Social Distancing: I’ve Never Felt Closer to You
    • Telemedicine: Is This Thing On? Getting the Most Out of Screen Time With Your Doctor
    • Oh, No, I Couldn’t... Well, Maybe Just One More: Hoarding. Or, uh, Being Prepared
    • Casual Everyday: How to Stop Watching Cat Videos and Get Some Work Done At Home
    • Absolutely No One Walked Into a Bar: Best of Coronavirus Humor
    • But I Need a Damn Haircut: When You Don’t Have the Virus, But You’re Still Falling Apart
    • Countin’ Flowers On the Wall: So Bored We Need a Board For It

Find results in...

Find results that contain...

Date Created

  • Start


Last Updated

  • Start


Filter by number of...


  • Start





Website URL







Found 1 result

  1. So, I have both researched and assessed myself to be, and verified the situation with my therapist recently that I have an anxious avoidant attachment style. Yes, the yeti of attachment styles both anxious and avoidant. I'm pretty sure I started out with an anxious attachment, and developed the avoidant behavior as a defense mechanism because of how badly that style worked out for me. It built walls over time. I have decided that I want to fix this situation. Both fortunately and unfortunately I've recently started a promising relationship for the first time in years. We have a breakfast date in 6 hours, the 4th date this week, though we've known each other to some extent for almost 6 weeks. Things are great, and I REALLY want to be fixed and "secure" by breakfast right now . The more things go well, the scarier it becomes though. Every time we get past another "milestone" (for lack of a better word) I'm relieved, but then worry about messing up the next step. We've only recently even held hands or kissed, so sex isn't an issue really. As advised by my therapist I'm being cognizant of my irrational thinking that makes me insecure, and evasive when I don't want to be. I'm just having trouble stopping the preoccupation with how to handle the next text or date. I know that I have no reason to feel worried about the relationship at this point; he's smart, funny, kind, thoughtful, and totally crazy about me. Unfortunately I've not yet mastered the art of being able to stop thinking about what I've said, he's said, what or how I'm going to say something or handle a situation, or what he's going to say or do, always with the fear that he's going to discover who I "really am" and not like me anymore. There are some reasons to be concerned about relationship viability in the future because of known differences in political and religious beliefs. We have discussed that him being Conservative and me being Liberal is probably an issue, but we're not talking about it (though we graze topics frequently, and reroute the conversation) because we wanted to see if anything was there if we didn't, and THERE IS ! But I'm scared that those beliefs represent important core beliefs that will become deal breakers once addressed head on . I initially wanted to address the issues right away to just get that out of the way, but then things went well, and I don't want to ruin it now. I smile whenever we're together, and when we talk; he makes me laugh a lot ! Isn't that what's important? We have so many other things in common too. Not the least of which is that this is what we've both been looking for in a relationship and mutual chemistry . We've both been looking for someone that makes us feel this way for too long without much luck. Why should I sabotage it for Obama, Climate change, FOX, or minimum wage ? I can't even put into words how conflicted I am about that last sentence . I wonder if other people would be... This is why this is a topic post and not a diary entry, I can't always tell what's a worry based on my maladaptive thinking related to anxious/avoidant attachment, anxiety, what-have you's of insecurity, and what's worth worrying about or not . I want very badly to have a healthy relationship with this person I don't want to screw it up not based on if we're right for each other or not, but because of my perceprtions of insecurity, abandonment, and rejection . I feel like it could be really great in a lot of ways. I'm afraid in a lot of ways too though. Can anyone make any suggestions on how to perhaps look at things differently to cope with anxiety and worry that I know is unfounded or irrational or comment specifically on fixing an anxious attachment style? Or... well I guess comment on the political “issues”? I am already working on the whole be aware of my thoughts and feelings as to recognize as much as I can what isn't real or rational anyway. I'm just starting the process, but I want to do it right with this guy. He deserves a good person who will appreciate him, and treat him well as much as I do. Anybody out there?
  • Create New...