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  1. This is a long shot, but I figure I can't be the only one who has ever had this thought. Is there a way to induce a state that includes the productivity/happiness of mania - without all the extra bullshit? 😅 Mania is better than any drug, the euphoria is incomparable. Every time I skip a few days of sleep, feel an increase in energy, or anything that might be the beginning of an episode, I think - ''Please let this be the onset of the best feeling in the world. I can't do this shit anymore''. I feel so guilty admitting to that, because I know that being manic and being functional are gene
  2. I live in Ireland an have just returned from a 10 day trip in the U.S (Massachusetts....crossed 5 time zones). Despite being awake for 36 hours I am far from tired. I'm alert and busy and haven't been able to relax since I got home this morning. I'm starting to have racing thoughts and am becoming really restless and a bit irritable. Anyone else experience this???? Don't want to develop full blown mania.....I am a bit worried!!
  3. Just wondering if anyone out there has had any experiences with the medication Rexulti (brexpiprazole)? My psychiatrist chose to give this a try (2mg) after evaluating and attempting to treat my persistent manic symptoms -- I would go days without sleeping and not feel tired, racing ideas and thoughts, increased in "goal-directed" activity like cleaning the kitchen for hours and sexual promiscuity, inflated self-esteem, inattention or inability to focus, pressured speech, rapid talking, and hyperactivity. Seroquel is super effective for stopping my mania but the negative cognitive effect and z
  4. I am 22 y/o and have filed for SSI twice. The first time I got denied I didn't appeal within 60 days so I had to apply all over again. Now I am going through to extensive appeal process and no lawyer seems to want to help me. They claim since I am young, I almost need to have schizophrenia or an autistic/spectrum disorder to be able to actually be approved and get benefits otherwise it is going to be very hard to get SSI. Now here are some of the facts of my case. I was fired from my job last November due to "no call, no show" because I was in a bipolar depressive episode where I literally did
  5. I have only been fully manic once. All of the other incidents have been hypomanic. And I created this topic because I'm a little confused -- people always talk about their months of hypomania whereas mine lasts for days or a few weeks. Am I just strange? Is it not "real bipolar"? My pdoc seems to think it's bipolar, but now I'm not so sure. Three to five days isn't a very long hypomanic episode. Some go hypomanic for months. It seems like most do. What's "wrong" with my brain? edit:// also, I see the irony in me thinking there's something "wrong" with my brain for not having "long
  6. I think I might be having symptoms of mania and its stressing me out!! I have been buying a lot of stuff in the last 2 weeks I have spent probably $2000, and just now i almost bought a fucking car of $20000 luckily I diden't have the deposit, but at that moment it just dawned on me I might be manic. I'm not sure I don't feel overly happy or sad I don't think I'm delusional. I don't think I'm having strange thoughts I don't know and my doctor is only back later this month
  7. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in early 2016. Originally I was on five meds but weaned off and just now started on abilify 10mg a day. I’ve been taking ativan since I’ve been diagnosed but only as needed so I don’t build a tolerance to it. Just saying hello! I am a musician, and I make videos as well.
  8. Any thoughts on using sam-e or a sad light with a bp1 diagnosis? I’m not depressed and stable but really struggling to get out of bed and low energy throughout the day. A quick google search says Sam-e and using a sad light can trigger mania if you have bp. Is this still a risk if on two mood stableizers and an antipsychotic? My pdoc is against supplements other than omegas, vitamin d and a multi. Currently on depakote(tapering down to go off of), lithium, and seroquel.
  9. Can anyone share their experiences please? :-))
  10. I had my operation on Friday and I took pain killers all day and had two lots on Saturday and just half a dose today. but I am not able to relax and feel full of energy but I can not really even move about much and it is driving me nuts, I wondered if the natural endorphins and cocodamol might be making me a bit manic, I have not been able to stop eating, but I guess my body is using up a large amount of energy right now. I am just worried I will not think straight and do damage to my foot?? Thank you all
  11. So the other day a friend of mine mentioned something about my ex. We were in a toxic relationship (we were both bipolar) and she was on and off her meds and things were messy until I couldn't take it anymore and walked away. I never felt more unstable in my life during that period of time and I just needed to get out. And just mentioning her (this is after 2 years since i left) made me take a 180 --depression, mania, my mind felt like it was slowly eating away at itself. Not only that, but I felt driven to her at that point. I'm fine now, and completely understand why I left
  12. I am wondering if anyone has had success with using Lamictal, particularly adjuct to Lithium, to treat their hypomanic or manic episodes. I was having akathisia problems with Rexulti, and am going to give it another try at a lower dose, but am investigating other options if it ends up not working out. I also am a rapid cycler, so if you have problems with this and have used or are still on lamictal and it helps with this please let me know. I ask this because I read in a psychopharmacology textbook that Lithium plus Lamictal is very effective in rapid cycling manic bipolar patients, but of cou
  13. My friend went off of his meds about 1.5 years ago. He claimed that he was incorrectly diagnosed because he has not had a "relapse" since. He suffered through 8 different hospitalizations in 9 months but has been out since. He was Dxed with Bipolar I, most recent episode manic, with psychotic features by five different P-docs. Our question is is 1.5 years without a relapse normal for BP I? Was he incorrectly Dxed? He claims that his normal up and downs do not exceed the point where he needs to be inpatient and that the doctors incorrectly Dxed him.
  14. So glad to find this page and forum... So my story in short form. Bi Polar 1 Never accepted my dagnosis, not alone on that I am sure...but cannot beleive at aged 46 I finally get it...The destruction of the last episode has killed everything in my life. 5 months...beaten up various times, putting myself at pure risk, buying BMW I cannot afford, spent about 20k Euros, throwing out of the house my 12 year life partner, renting houses, buying stuff, Pyscotic magical thinking, (living in italy the religosity is hard to escape.) Cannot do this again...Now in the depths of the worst
  15. Day two of a hypomanic episode and idk how much longer I can deal with it. On top of that I got into a fight with a friend that ended with him saying that I'm dead to him. Taking tomorrow off work to see my psych but I'm worried I won't get in. Have any of you called in last minute? I'm worried about that more than anything. I know I'll deeply regret burning another bridge but right now I just want to focus on feeling better.
  16. When you experience a change in mood, be it mania, depression, hypo or mixed does it creep over you slowly or is it like a switch got flipped? I would like to ask the same question in regards to delusional/paranoid/psychotic symptoms. For me and a few others I know it's a switch. Sometimes with a known trigger and sometimes just because BP wants to fuck with me. Winter depression creeps but turns off all at once for me. So a bit of a creepy switch. Do you find the same in reverse? Your depressed for a period, say 6 weeks and then click the switch gets flipped and wham it
  17. Hi all, Wanted to get some feedback on the idea behind antidepressants (AD) causing mania in bipolars. I basically got diagnosed because prozac made me manic after awhile. How accurate is that for a diagnoses? I have had other AD's since then with mixed results, but could it just be a "normal" side effect of the med? Thanks, Poem
  18. Ok, I am just curious, I am a 45 year old Mom, have been married for 20 years, have occasionally suffered from depression and anxiety in my life but not consistently. Also ADD, and take Adderall regularly. I had been on anti depressants for short spurts and occasionally anxiety meds as needed. I have never been suicidal or anything and never had a manic episode up until 40. At 40 I was on an Pristiq for about 9 months and decided to go off it cold turkey. I ended up having a manic episode within days and was forcibly hospitalized. The Dr's told me I was bipolar, gave me Depakote and Abili
  19. If you are in for a read, and a bit of cross referencing, I think this is rather insightful. Understanding a little bit more. Hippocampal neurochemical markers in bipolar disorder patients following the first-manic episode: A prospective 12-month proton magnetic resonance spectroscopy study Ya got to read the whole thing not just the overview. Lol. Also, the related articles look like gold. Thank's science! Thoughts? -Toas
  20. I can't claim having much stability. However I have had a pretty good run. Almost 4 months. Dealing with lots of things. Big issues, small issues. Work stress, home stress......big home stress between myself and my husband. We no longer sleep together, mostly because of my actions. I have been dealing with it pretty well. It's been hard though. I have been doing better taking care of myself. Sleeping, eating, exercising. But........I seem to be losing my shit recently. Touch of psychosis. (If you can have a touch) it was short lived and then I rolled right into depression.
  21. Greetings everyone, I had honestly forgotten about my mood disorder. I have gone for years without any major episodes. Over the summer I had renewed my eyeglasses/contact prescription from a clinic affiliated with my childhood. In my file they had mailed me, it stated a diagnose of bipolar. Yeah right, had taken medication in my younger years for both depression and adhd. I experienced extreme reactions to both. Whatever. Long time ago anyways. I'm just a dude with lots of empathy, my motto is care more. Never looked back. Then... yah know, 'till now. Heh...
  22. I've been slowly incresed to 20mg of lexapro and i was extremely manic the first week. now i'm just depressed. ??? not sure what to think.
  23. I was prescribed 20mg of lexapro we had slowly started to increase it. I've had these manic episodes so bad that i felt i could do anything at that moment i felt like my heart needed to get energy out of it. I was acting in such strange ways talking nonsense. i don't know what to think. My family is so extremely annoyed by my episodes too.
  24. Ive gathered the supplies to induce manic episode and Ive acquired drugs thatll make the depressive crash non existant.MU HAHAHAHA IM SUCH A GENIUS!i just dosed 300 MG zoloft, drank 3 cups of coffee, n tonight ill stay up all night binging on vodka to beef my dopamine up (alcohol is like cocaine to my dopamine levels, it inducea euphoric superman mania).ill keep upping the zoloft to make it a garunteed manic episode, and add stimulanta such as adderall as needed.and of coarse 3, 4 nights no sleep will intensofy it , along wit vodka.were havin a warm front too so there will be shrooms, which al
  25. Ive gathered the supplies to induce manic episode and Ive acquired drugs thatll make the depressive crash non existant.MU HAHAHAHA IM SUCH A GENIUS!i just dosed 300 MG zoloft, drank 3 cups of coffee, n tonight ill stay up all night binging on vodka to beef my dopamine up (alcohol is like cocaine to my dopamine levels, it inducea euphoric superman mania).ill keep upping the zoloft to make it a garunteed manic episode, and add stimulanta such as adderall as needed.and of coarse 3, 4 nights no sleep will intensofy it , along wit vodka.were havin a warm front too so there will be shrooms, which al
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