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Found 108 results

  1. I live in Ireland an have just returned from a 10 day trip in the U.S (Massachusetts....crossed 5 time zones). Despite being awake for 36 hours I am far from tired. I'm alert and busy and haven't been able to relax since I got home this morning. I'm starting to have racing thoughts and am becoming really restless and a bit irritable. Anyone else experience this???? Don't want to develop full blown mania.....I am a bit worried!!
  2. Just wondering if anyone out there has had any experiences with the medication Rexulti (brexpiprazole)? My psychiatrist chose to give this a try (2mg) after evaluating and attempting to treat my persistent manic symptoms -- I would go days without sleeping and not feel tired, racing ideas and thoughts, increased in "goal-directed" activity like cleaning the kitchen for hours and sexual promiscuity, inflated self-esteem, inattention or inability to focus, pressured speech, rapid talking, and hyperactivity. Seroquel is super effective for stopping my mania but the negative cognitive effect and zombification I experienced were too much, and this was only at 50-100mg If you have tried Rexulti please share your experiences with it in terms of treating your symptoms of bipolar disorder, whether or not it worked for you, side effects you experiences, and the main symptoms that resulted in you trying this medication. So far it has been about a week on Rexulti 2mg, and I am beginning to notice a slight increased in motivation and better time-management, which really surprised me given my past experiences with AAPs. This could be due to other medication, as my dexedrine dose has increased from 40mg to 60mg, but I have been on this high of a dose in the past and not noticed the increased thought organization and motivation to complete tasks/assignments before the last minute. It hasn't directly induced sleep as Seroquel did, but I do notice I am getting on a better schedule. Also, if you have not tried Rexulti but have been on Abilify (aripiprazole), I would be happy to hear your experiences as well, given that the two are similar in structure and chemical composition (I acknowledge that despite this, the two can still have very different and distinct effects).
  3. I am 22 y/o and have filed for SSI twice. The first time I got denied I didn't appeal within 60 days so I had to apply all over again. Now I am going through to extensive appeal process and no lawyer seems to want to help me. They claim since I am young, I almost need to have schizophrenia or an autistic/spectrum disorder to be able to actually be approved and get benefits otherwise it is going to be very hard to get SSI. Now here are some of the facts of my case. I was fired from my job last November due to "no call, no show" because I was in a bipolar depressive episode where I literally didn't leave my room but maybe 5x to make a microwave meal and shower once. This episode lasted a little bit shy of 2 weeks. So for my 3 no call, no shows I was terminated from my job at University. I asked if they would accept a physician's note explaining my circumstances but the manager actually refused documentation, saying "No it's not necessary, I don't need that". She also said that I should have called and at least have told her what was going on so she knew I couldn't come in, but let's be real guys, doing that during a severe bipolar depressive episode is like writing a PhD dissertation in less than a day. So I applied for unemployment and get a denial letter saying I am denied benefits of $50/week because they contacted my former employer and was told I was terminated for misconduct. So that was the end of that. I had applied for SSI last year around August I would say and was denied 1st time. Re-applied December and got denial letter again, this time on Feb. 8th stating "your conditions are not severe enough for you not to work. You are capable of substantial gainful activity". Yet on my listed disabilities I listed epilepsy (reoccurring grand-mal seizures), bipolar disorder NOS, insomnia NOS, ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, manic episodes, social anxiety disorder, delayed sleep phase syndrome, and listed all the medications I was on and how some of them has side effects that were impairing themselves. Has anyone here who is young actually gotten approved for SSI benefits? If so, how many times did it take for you to finally get approved and did you use a lawyer to help you through the process? Also, if you don't mind, what conditions/disabilities did you report to them that you believed qualified you for SSI or SSDI? I can't apply for SSDI because I don't have enough work credits so I can only apply for SSI. This whole process kinda sucks and is difficult especially for people with disabilities. So frustrating.
  4. I have only been fully manic once. All of the other incidents have been hypomanic. And I created this topic because I'm a little confused -- people always talk about their months of hypomania whereas mine lasts for days or a few weeks. Am I just strange? Is it not "real bipolar"? My pdoc seems to think it's bipolar, but now I'm not so sure. Three to five days isn't a very long hypomanic episode. Some go hypomanic for months. It seems like most do. What's "wrong" with my brain? edit:// also, I see the irony in me thinking there's something "wrong" with my brain for not having "long-enough hypomanias."
  5. I think I might be having symptoms of mania and its stressing me out!! I have been buying a lot of stuff in the last 2 weeks I have spent probably $2000, and just now i almost bought a fucking car of $20000 luckily I diden't have the deposit, but at that moment it just dawned on me I might be manic. I'm not sure I don't feel overly happy or sad I don't think I'm delusional. I don't think I'm having strange thoughts I don't know and my doctor is only back later this month
  6. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in early 2016. Originally I was on five meds but weaned off and just now started on abilify 10mg a day. I’ve been taking ativan since I’ve been diagnosed but only as needed so I don’t build a tolerance to it. Just saying hello! I am a musician, and I make videos as well.
  7. Any thoughts on using sam-e or a sad light with a bp1 diagnosis? I’m not depressed and stable but really struggling to get out of bed and low energy throughout the day. A quick google search says Sam-e and using a sad light can trigger mania if you have bp. Is this still a risk if on two mood stableizers and an antipsychotic? My pdoc is against supplements other than omegas, vitamin d and a multi. Currently on depakote(tapering down to go off of), lithium, and seroquel.
  8. Can anyone share their experiences please? :-))
  9. I had my operation on Friday and I took pain killers all day and had two lots on Saturday and just half a dose today. but I am not able to relax and feel full of energy but I can not really even move about much and it is driving me nuts, I wondered if the natural endorphins and cocodamol might be making me a bit manic, I have not been able to stop eating, but I guess my body is using up a large amount of energy right now. I am just worried I will not think straight and do damage to my foot?? Thank you all
  10. So the other day a friend of mine mentioned something about my ex. We were in a toxic relationship (we were both bipolar) and she was on and off her meds and things were messy until I couldn't take it anymore and walked away. I never felt more unstable in my life during that period of time and I just needed to get out. And just mentioning her (this is after 2 years since i left) made me take a 180 --depression, mania, my mind felt like it was slowly eating away at itself. Not only that, but I felt driven to her at that point. I'm fine now, and completely understand why I left. & don't have any affection or feelings towards her. Does anyone have similar triggers? How do you deal with them ?
  11. I am wondering if anyone has had success with using Lamictal, particularly adjuct to Lithium, to treat their hypomanic or manic episodes. I was having akathisia problems with Rexulti, and am going to give it another try at a lower dose, but am investigating other options if it ends up not working out. I also am a rapid cycler, so if you have problems with this and have used or are still on lamictal and it helps with this please let me know. I ask this because I read in a psychopharmacology textbook that Lithium plus Lamictal is very effective in rapid cycling manic bipolar patients, but of course I would like to hear first hand from patients their own experiences. Thanks in advanced!
  12. My friend went off of his meds about 1.5 years ago. He claimed that he was incorrectly diagnosed because he has not had a "relapse" since. He suffered through 8 different hospitalizations in 9 months but has been out since. He was Dxed with Bipolar I, most recent episode manic, with psychotic features by five different P-docs. Our question is is 1.5 years without a relapse normal for BP I? Was he incorrectly Dxed? He claims that his normal up and downs do not exceed the point where he needs to be inpatient and that the doctors incorrectly Dxed him.
  13. So glad to find this page and forum... So my story in short form. Bi Polar 1 Never accepted my dagnosis, not alone on that I am sure...but cannot beleive at aged 46 I finally get it...The destruction of the last episode has killed everything in my life. 5 months...beaten up various times, putting myself at pure risk, buying BMW I cannot afford, spent about 20k Euros, throwing out of the house my 12 year life partner, renting houses, buying stuff, Pyscotic magical thinking, (living in italy the religosity is hard to escape.) Cannot do this again...Now in the depths of the worst crippleing depression. So I finally get it, I am, I have Bi polar its not a mass jewish(Where this distrust of this comes from Ido not know ) consirpacy to have us all sedated? Please note I am pro people and the jewish people but I am not anti semetic, but Iseem to be so when I am manic...very odd, so please do not take exception to that comment. I always seem in Mania to become fixated on the idea that these drugs are just killing us. Cannot understand why in these 5 months nobody tried to have me brought in to a hosptial. That hurts, Whenone is so obviously out of control why do you have to bring yourself in so to speak? All or some of the destruction could have been avoided. SO after literally waking up 5 months later, Iam in the loneliest dreadful space, living in a town Ihave no friends, no family and in a llanguage Ihave about a 40% handle on. Iamamazed in this mania I did not do something more terrible, hurting myself or someone.. Got a Pdoc, he has put me on a crushing regieme of Quietipinia 25mg x2 , Olanzipan 5x2 and Valpo Acid 600 (slow release) and Akineton for shakes, something to stop the muscles and dead arm syndrome...I am sure alot of you have been here...But apart from wanting to share this I sat and looked at all these pills read up as much as I can on this and does it feel so odd to be killing myself slowly with these pills to possibly / hopefully not getting manic again...Seems to me I can only find the Negative side effects. its only been 6 days on these pills, apart from all the negatives I only feel less anxious...But all I have to face now is the consewuences of what Ihave been doing for 5 months.. the bills the speeding tickets. Facing all this alone is too much for one person. I think it is so incredible that people live and thrive on being along, I do not think I am one of thoese people. I am angry that no one intervened to the authorites fro me, perhaps Italy just does it like this. So why post and what to ask for.... Well I guess to say well done for being part of this community and also to ask, is there anyone out there who has been pleased with their pill regime? Any happy stories out there? As for the insiatable need for food at all times does anyone know what I could ask my doctor to prescribe to lessen the need to eat, its just constant? Feeling already that the best of life is over and all Ihave left to live for is pills, interventions and I have used up all the joy alloted to myself prior. So my name is Tim I live in Italy and I am definitly owning and finally able to admit to myself and others Iam Bi Polar (chronic) apparently...The more you have these episodes the worse they get, seems to me to be my case even if they are years inbetween. My job is alcohol, and to be told Imust not drink is not only implausible, Ijust cannot erase the only thing I hae left that gives me a tiny enjoyement, anyone experienced with Pdrugs and alcohol? After such a long Mania I guess its nornal to be completely brain exhausted? This brain exhaustion is showing itself as impaired congative functioning, inability to think properly or remmeber...feel like I have lost 30% of my functioning... any one else had such a long period of Mania? So thats me...wishing you all light love and happiness on this journey called Full spectrum Bi Polar. Saluti de Italia Tim
  14. Day two of a hypomanic episode and idk how much longer I can deal with it. On top of that I got into a fight with a friend that ended with him saying that I'm dead to him. Taking tomorrow off work to see my psych but I'm worried I won't get in. Have any of you called in last minute? I'm worried about that more than anything. I know I'll deeply regret burning another bridge but right now I just want to focus on feeling better.
  15. When you experience a change in mood, be it mania, depression, hypo or mixed does it creep over you slowly or is it like a switch got flipped? I would like to ask the same question in regards to delusional/paranoid/psychotic symptoms. For me and a few others I know it's a switch. Sometimes with a known trigger and sometimes just because BP wants to fuck with me. Winter depression creeps but turns off all at once for me. So a bit of a creepy switch. Do you find the same in reverse? Your depressed for a period, say 6 weeks and then click the switch gets flipped and wham it's gone? Enquiring minds want to know. Well at least one mind does.
  16. Hi all, Wanted to get some feedback on the idea behind antidepressants (AD) causing mania in bipolars. I basically got diagnosed because prozac made me manic after awhile. How accurate is that for a diagnoses? I have had other AD's since then with mixed results, but could it just be a "normal" side effect of the med? Thanks, Poem
  17. Ok, I am just curious, I am a 45 year old Mom, have been married for 20 years, have occasionally suffered from depression and anxiety in my life but not consistently. Also ADD, and take Adderall regularly. I had been on anti depressants for short spurts and occasionally anxiety meds as needed. I have never been suicidal or anything and never had a manic episode up until 40. At 40 I was on an Pristiq for about 9 months and decided to go off it cold turkey. I ended up having a manic episode within days and was forcibly hospitalized. The Dr's told me I was bipolar, gave me Depakote and Abilify and sent me home after a while. After being out of the hospital for a year I went off the Depakote and Abilify. I was still feeling a little depression so I started taking Lexapro about a year later I stopped, cold turkey again (brilliant, I know ;-) and had another manic episode and ended up back in the hospital. Doctor's again told me I was bipolar, didn't care that I had stopped anti depressants cold turkey, just handed me a rx for Depakote and Abilify and when I got home I stopped both. Just felt like I didn't belong on them and that they didn't help me. They made me feel crappy and I just didn't have a lot of faith in the Dr's honestly. I know I should go and explain the situation to another Dr. and get an opinion but I just have a lot of anxiety, and feel like most of them don't listen and pre judge. I am just wondering if anyone else has had a situation like this? I STILL don't believe I am bipolar and have not had another episode in 3 years. I stopped the Abilify and Depakote 3 years ago, so I am only on Adderall, which supposedly, from what I've read does cause Mania if you are bipolar and only on a stimulant) I still occasionally struggle with depression occasionally but am terrified to take an anti depressant. I guess I am just trying to see if anyone can relate.... Has anyone else been diagnosed with Bipolar (later in life) from mania, only after stopping an anti depressant? If so, are you still on anti depressants or mood stabilizers? Do you believe your diagnosis, have you been to other Dr's that agree or disagree with it? My husband keeps telling me to move on and realize it probably will never happen again, and was most likely from anti depressant withdrawal, but I feel like I need to know for sure, Is that even possible?? Thanks so much for reading, and for any responses.
  18. If you are in for a read, and a bit of cross referencing, I think this is rather insightful. Understanding a little bit more. Hippocampal neurochemical markers in bipolar disorder patients following the first-manic episode: A prospective 12-month proton magnetic resonance spectroscopy study Ya got to read the whole thing not just the overview. Lol. Also, the related articles look like gold. Thank's science! Thoughts? -Toas
  19. I can't claim having much stability. However I have had a pretty good run. Almost 4 months. Dealing with lots of things. Big issues, small issues. Work stress, home stress......big home stress between myself and my husband. We no longer sleep together, mostly because of my actions. I have been dealing with it pretty well. It's been hard though. I have been doing better taking care of myself. Sleeping, eating, exercising. But........I seem to be losing my shit recently. Touch of psychosis. (If you can have a touch) it was short lived and then I rolled right into depression. I have lots of mixed days. I am feeling more fragile and crying more. I want to disappear. Why the sudden change? It's sort of a dumb question. It's part of the nature of BP. I have worked hard to identify triggers. My question is have you been able to isolate what triggers a mood episode? Depression or mania or psychosis? What are those triggers? Maybe I am missing something. Maybe I am asking a question that can never be answered. Worth a try. I am hoping I missed something.
  20. Greetings everyone, I had honestly forgotten about my mood disorder. I have gone for years without any major episodes. Over the summer I had renewed my eyeglasses/contact prescription from a clinic affiliated with my childhood. In my file they had mailed me, it stated a diagnose of bipolar. Yeah right, had taken medication in my younger years for both depression and adhd. I experienced extreme reactions to both. Whatever. Long time ago anyways. I'm just a dude with lots of empathy, my motto is care more. Never looked back. Then... yah know, 'till now. Heh... Had a long hypomanic period (almost a year) that enveloped two short states (about a week or two a piece) of depression. It ended in a four to five week period of mania. Not the feel good everything is sweet, but dysphoricky, psychotic kind, terminologies, mixed, mind trickery bleh. Sucky. I feel pretty fucking depressed right about now. Postdroming would be the hip lingo methinks. Or post-whatever-whatever. When I was manic I related my experience to times in my past I had felt similar. This most recent bout, the most extreme by far, is not the first time I have experienced hallucinations or delusions during those "difficult" times. Anyways, it seems that for the most part, I float from one period of hypomania to the next with intermittent periods of mild depression. Up and down, up and down for two, three, four years then... boom! Shit just gets unreal, blend of all symptoms. Depression for a few months, rinse and repeat. To pose my question, is there a possibility that one could spend so much time on the manic side of life? It is kinda opposite of the descriptions for bipolar 2 I have read, I dunno maybe. My depression only feels like contrast to my elation. Hard to describe. As difficult as it is right now, it is not nearly as terrifying as my mania. Also, is it realistic to pursue a life without medical attention until one should really be institutionalized during full mania? Would I be lying to myself by embracing my hypomania? Maybe I am just not experiencing any symptoms during those times and I'm just a philosophical, passionate, eccentric. It all just reads like hypomania...fuck. I don't know, I am trying to understand. Crazy talk... Though I have read that episodes can last for a long time. Maybe I have just learned to cope with depression but not mania. I don't know. I am not suicidal but have had suicidal ideations during my episodes. A close friend of mine since childhood had a psychotic episode or break last year and is being effectively treated for psychosis. I know that medication serves a very real purpose. I mean, my mother has struggled with controlling her bipolar type 2 with various medications her entire life, but it helps her control it. I have always had poor experiences with any sort of medicines aside from antibiotics. Hah! Had some pretty weird hallucinations after getting a tetanus shot with some added violent mood swings, paranoia and blacking out forgetting where you are kinda shit. Lasted three days. Hard to paint a house with that goin on. Avoid ladders... Maybe I'm just afraid... A lot has been going through my head. Not as bad as it was for a minute though. That being said, care more my friends and thank you for any input. May we build eachother up! We may not heal, we may not get stronger, but damn it, we will get better at fighting!
  21. I've been slowly incresed to 20mg of lexapro and i was extremely manic the first week. now i'm just depressed. ??? not sure what to think.
  22. I was prescribed 20mg of lexapro we had slowly started to increase it. I've had these manic episodes so bad that i felt i could do anything at that moment i felt like my heart needed to get energy out of it. I was acting in such strange ways talking nonsense. i don't know what to think. My family is so extremely annoyed by my episodes too.
  23. Ive gathered the supplies to induce manic episode and Ive acquired drugs thatll make the depressive crash non existant.MU HAHAHAHA IM SUCH A GENIUS!i just dosed 300 MG zoloft, drank 3 cups of coffee, n tonight ill stay up all night binging on vodka to beef my dopamine up (alcohol is like cocaine to my dopamine levels, it inducea euphoric superman mania).ill keep upping the zoloft to make it a garunteed manic episode, and add stimulanta such as adderall as needed.and of coarse 3, 4 nights no sleep will intensofy it , along wit vodka.were havin a warm front too so there will be shrooms, which always trigger euphoric mania.and i have no intentions of any irritability or mixed episodes, shrooms always induce the euphoric type, and i assume zoft does too.either way as long as i can dopamine ill have mania n serotonin shall sustain it.n when my brain runs out of "manic energy" theres the depression to deal with.NOT!!!NMDA antagonists such as ketamine and DXM instantly all symptoms of depression, bringing me back to baseline.ive tried this a milliom times n it always works.no matter how strong the mania is, i never have to pay in depression anymore.one single dose of ketamine ends depression for atleast a month for me.so i get all the mania, n ill never have to pay for it again!ive also come up with a use for antipsychotics.they reduce dopamine by blocking receptors, n upregulate dopamine receptors, preparing them to be overstimulated by mania.and DXM also reverses adderall tolerance so.by using DXM i make it so i never build stimulant tolerance!mania has made me so productivs, ive gone from F's to alL A's, i dont sleep morethan once a week n im basically superman!!
  24. Ive gathered the supplies to induce manic episode and Ive acquired drugs thatll make the depressive crash non existant.MU HAHAHAHA IM SUCH A GENIUS!i just dosed 300 MG zoloft, drank 3 cups of coffee, n tonight ill stay up all night binging on vodka to beef my dopamine up (alcohol is like cocaine to my dopamine levels, it inducea euphoric superman mania).ill keep upping the zoloft to make it a garunteed manic episode, and add stimulanta such as adderall as needed.and of coarse 3, 4 nights no sleep will intensofy it , along wit vodka.were havin a warm front too so there will be shrooms, which always trigger euphoric mania.and i have no intentions of any irritability or mixed episodes, shrooms always induce the euphoric type, and i assume zoft does too.either way as long as i can dopamine ill have mania n serotonin shall sustain it.n when my brain runs out of "manic energy" theres the depression to deal with.NOT!!!NMDA antagonists such as ketamine and DXM instantly all symptoms of depression, bringing me back to baseline.ive tried this a milliom times n it always works.no matter how strong the mania is, i never have to pay in depression anymore.one single dose of ketamine ends depression for atleast a month for me.so i get all the mania, n ill never have to pay for it again!ive also come up with a use for antipsychotics.they reduce dopamine by blocking receptors, n upregulate dopamine receptors, preparing them to be overstimulated by mania.and DXM also reverses adderall tolerance so.by using DXM i make it so i never build stimulant tolerance!mania has made me so productivs, ive gone from F's to alL A's, i dont sleep morethan once a week n im basically superman!!
  25. hi people,(triggers etc) Ive been struggling with my mental health since I was born.although my family is incredibly dysfunctional my mam maintains that since I was born I've never felt loved even when it was there,right from when I was three months old! I received a diagnosis of cyclothemia after being hospitalised for attempting suicide for the fifth time,which sounds far fetched but I live in Ireland where it has to be that bad to get any help,after being in mental hospital for kids for four months when the whole time they maintained that they didn't think there was any mental health issues there! I have a cycle of hypo mania and depression that changes pretty regularly every two weeks or so with the depressions pretty much always resulting in suicidal thoughts and my hypo mania usually starts off pretty mild but at this point today I've already skipped college,eaten nothing (I think I'm still not hungry and I don't remember tbh) started two hysterical arguments and been nearly kicked out of my flat.physically I really haven't felt hungry at all and have been having shakes and tremors,hot and cold sweats,I can feel my heartbeat underneath my jaw and I can't stop thinking about things feeling or tasting bloody,not in like a scary way but like I'm made of it and this is day two or three (again the memory's a bit bad) alongside bits of the day where I was really productive and busy and good ive been on epilim and abilify in varying doses sometimes individually and sometimes together,but I found it just stopped the hypo mania and did nothing for the depression but make me more of a zombie because I'm a co dependant ( I don't really know how to set boundaries or protect myself) I'm so super aware of these problems all the time and I don't really receive any help or sympathy from anybody (so I feel) because they can't identify with me and my doctors and therapists are fuck all help most of the time I feel like I should save my money and buy myself a big fat syringe full of air,not because I'm sad but because there is no point if this is my life now! And I'm just a huge burden on everyone I mean I fluctuate between boundless love and imagining stamping on someone's jaw but apparently this is normal and I should be coping fine im 18 and living independent of my parents (because they couldn't cope) but I can't find a job or sort my shit out because when I try to my moods domineer my life after a certain point I have no idea where I'd even begin to look for work anyway sorry tangent my question is whether or not you guys think this is a problem that sounds more like an illness or like BPD or even something else? I've always maintained that I think it's bipolar but my doctors are certain it isn't (these are the same doctors who didn't realise I had anything wrong at all after two months of round the clock surveillance and were proved to be completely wrong by a psych eval but this is probably because I had only just gone sixteen at the time) or just refuse to give me the diagnosis,which I want not to label it but to validate my feelings.then again if it's not I haven't a fuckin clue what else it might be! I went off my medication before my final school exams because it wasn't working but my doctor said the next step after this was lithium and I don't really know what that is but what I've heard about it is pretty scary so any clarification on mess would be helpful peace and blessings thank you thank you
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