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  1. Can you tell while you're hypomanic and/ or manic? Or is it always hindsight? For me, I have a hard time detecting my ups and downs during a single day, let alone several days or weeks though I'm getting much better at it now. Historically, I have not noticed I was hypomanic until it was over and things calmed down. It took me over 2 weeks to notice but do know I'm definitely in a hypomanic phase right now, some days way more exciting than others, but clearly hypomanic. For me, and probably most of us, this is difficult thing to do since we've probably gotten so used to just being very
  2. Not to minimize having bipolar disorder in any way. But..........wanna have some fun? Just finish the sentence: You know your bipolar when............... I will start and if no one plays I will play myself. I am like that. You know your bipolar when.......you have been saying “I don’t know what I was thinking”your entire life. Like it should be a personal quote. Your turn
  3. I just thought I'd start this thread so people can share those moments when they were impulsive. I thought it would be helpful to write down when impulsive so that we become more aware of our tendencies to do so when manic or hypomanic. So what have you done impulsively lately?
  4. Any thoughts on using sam-e or a sad light with a bp1 diagnosis? I’m not depressed and stable but really struggling to get out of bed and low energy throughout the day. A quick google search says Sam-e and using a sad light can trigger mania if you have bp. Is this still a risk if on two mood stableizers and an antipsychotic? My pdoc is against supplements other than omegas, vitamin d and a multi. Currently on depakote(tapering down to go off of), lithium, and seroquel.
  5. I have a constant urge to start over... to just run away from my life. It happens in the immediate sense, for instance, I could be sitting at a traffic light and have an intense urge to drive out of state or away for a week (yes, I have acted on these urges). Or I can have an urge to sell my house in the city and buy a farm in another state (yes, I have acted on these urges). I always want to move, I always want to start over. At the same time, I crave stability and planting roots. If I didn't have kids I would probably just wander all the time. It's like I'm always seeking somethin
  6. I've been slowly incresed to 20mg of lexapro and i was extremely manic the first week. now i'm just depressed. ??? not sure what to think.
  7. I was prescribed 20mg of lexapro we had slowly started to increase it. I've had these manic episodes so bad that i felt i could do anything at that moment i felt like my heart needed to get energy out of it. I was acting in such strange ways talking nonsense. i don't know what to think. My family is so extremely annoyed by my episodes too.
  8. So I had a pdoc appt today and we are still trying to regulate my meds. I was on 300 welly, 200 lamictal, & .5 risperdal. I know that's a baby dose of risperdal, but it was kicking my ass. I was so tired in the mornings, not motivated to do shit all day and my appetite was insatiable so I was packing on the pounds. I relayed all this to him and so we decided to up my Welly to 450 and switch risperdal to Latuda in hopes that my motivation will increase and weight gain will subside. My concern is the latuda and anxiety. He's only given me a 20mg dose, but I have read about how this coul
  9. Hi there, Doctors and therapists always tell you to get out in the sun for mood lifting and vitamin D. However, I find that intense sunlight is overstimulating. Does anyone else have that feeling? I think it might have been a trigger for my recent mixed episode. I am a night owl in general, so I tend to go out at night for exercise, etc. The light at dusk is calming to me...especially since I have a tendency to agoraphobia and hate the daytime traffic. What are your thoughts? Thanks, Poem
  10. i honestly don't know how to use this site or if it will really help me but i don't know what else to do.. so i'm a musician and a dancer and i feel like being bipolar seriously fucks with my abilities. when i'm manic i have better ideas and i am WAY more creative and confident. i can write powerful songs quickly, i record better, i feel like a goddess on stage, i feel more motivated to make my dreams come true, i feel like my dreams CAN actually come true. on the dance side i can improv beautiful choreography and i am just so much more out of the box and abstract. again i'm more confident and
  11. At times I can be walking around or whatever and I feel like I'm transforming, I feel this incredible, intoxicating energy, and I feel like I'm becoming a demon, or specifically a kitsune because I've always related to them. I can practically feel the claws and fangs growing. I walk around and I imagine how with such a power, such claws, I could easily kill these puny stupid humans, and I imagine cutting/stabbing them with my razor sharp claws, biting them, essentially, going feral and attacking the heck out of everyone. It's so much fun that it's hard to keep from leering at everyone. I'm gra
  12. I had my first hypomanic episode 2012 oct - dec. My second hypomanic episode was 2014 jan - march Both lasted around 3 months . The time interval between the ending of my first episode and beginning of second episode was exactly a year. Just trying to figure out if this cycle is going to remain fixed more or less or is there no guarantee whatsoever. Im not on any medications. I love my hypomanias too much and am not willing to give up on them yet. I feel that if 80 percent of the time im going to be depressed or semi depressed then the hypomanias are the only thing that
  13. Just started watching a new TV series called The Black Box about a bipolar world-renowned female neurologist (referred to as the Marco Polo of the brain). She is non-compliant with her medications and other than her psychiatrist and her brother, no one knows she is bipolar, including her boyfriend of one year. Thought I'd mention it in case anyone's interested. I'm curious to see what anyone else thinks of it.
  14. Hello everyone, Thank you in advance if you read this. I just registered because my friend suggested I get some guidance and she's smarter than I'll ever be, haha. This is my first time taking an antidepressant. I had a bit of a rough past so I guess that makes me predisposed to depression. I guess as a result I'm a super anxious person but I try to act normal enough. Anyway, my life took a bad turn recently with a lot happening so I became really depressed. I never had mania. I just felt sad, gloomy, depressed and anxious 24/7, even doing fun things. I just "dealt" with it for a
  15. Hi everyone, Im Ollie!! Im new to the site and I am so thankful I found you guys!! So a little background I am BP I , have ADHD, and I am also an alcoholic now sober 25 days. I am currently on Prozac 40mg, Trazodone 100mg, and Adderall 20 BID but stopped taking it two days ago because I read on here that a MS should be prescribed with it. This was just one more reason to find a new Pdoc. Now that im sober I am feeling the mania side clearly. After the first week i quit drinking i was kind of leveled out i guess.. not high, but not low. Then about 5 days ago i started sleeping less, but
  16. Definition Delusion: A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence. My question is; Is it possible to have delusions while hypomanic? Or is it solely a symptom of a manic episode? From what I've researched I could not find anything regarding a hypomanic delusion, only manic delusions and psychosis.
  17. Jealousy is fricken crippling me. Me and my beautiful girlfriend started our new semester at school and ever since it started I can't help but to feel jealous about every little thing. I'm talking infidelity jealous; not "I'm jealous you got that new pen and I didn't". My girlfriend and I have a great relationship and neither of us would ever cheat and it's not even just the cheating. The male professors, and any male she's around or brings up makes me infuriated. I know these feelings will pass again...as this isn't the first time it's happened. It's just making me act like an ass. It's distr
  18. Hi Everyone!! I'm Olive, I'm new! Thanks for inviting me into this awesome community. I've been sitting here for hours before dawn, feeling great and well rested after three hours sleep, wondering how much sleep is enough sleep for a bipolar person? I feel like a million dollars on no sleep when I am lit up, but I know there are consequences. Any other Bipolar folk experience lack of desire for sleep between mood swings? Thanks! Love, Olive
  19. So I see my pdoc yesterday and shared with her I still feel some depression. After talking over some options, she wants to taper me off Geodon and add Paxil. I took Paxil about 5 years ago for two years and did mostly well with it. However, I was taking the medication when I went manic and got fired from my very lucrative job. I start the Paxil today and I am just a little concerened I will become manic on it. Also, before starting Paxil, I suffered from SA and Paxil pretty much cured me from that. I went from being very anxious before speaking to not thinking at all before speaking. Anyon
  20. so the last few nights or so I've been waking up randomly feeling energized and awake. I've only had these sleep interruptions a handful of times and typically last a few days to a few weeks. I am waking up in a better mood rather than wanting to chop the head off the person that is waking me up or bawling my eyes out bc I really don't want to get out of bed. I was getting ready for bed last night and felt happy but was having a panic attack. I still am not sure what it was caused by, but I know I was having one. Then today I was getting ready and noticed that I want to spend money. I posted
  21. Last night was one of the worst of my life. I was hyperactive, restless, jittery & acting very bizarre. I kept racing around the house, jumping on beds & the sofa & picking random things up. My housemates apparently found me in the corner of the kitchen floor huddled up eating peaches. This was 1am, I didn't even want those peaches. I was flipping between hyper, scared, anxious & giggly. My mind was going at 100mph & I was wide awake despite having to get up for work at 7:30 :/ I forced myself to concentrate of organising clean clothes looking up helplines, that settled
  22. I'm curious as to how many of your crazy creative ideas have actually worked out. Like, I get all the delusions and stuff, but I can't be the only one who gets insane ideas for useful things and then tries to make them happen? Like, once I designed and built a hydrogen fuel cell, water goes in, hydrogen comes out, and it actually works. It's on my dad's car, powers it about 20%. Although another time I tried to genetically engineer a dragon and have detailed the specifics of an enzyme that turns glucose into methanol (or ethanol, I forget, some flammable liquid though) and wing span and area
  23. I have a good mood stabilizer and a good antidepressant... but my antimania (Antipsychotic to be specific) is only at 1mg (of risperdal) and I am feeling the weight gain side effect already. AND I am moderately manic. I need something that works for mania and does not cause weight gain. My psychiatrist does not want to put me on Geodon because of it's needs for EKGs. Any ideas??? If I am left with no other option I will ask if we could give the Geodon a try and schedule an EKG.
  24. Hello all, I was diagnosed with Dysthymia/Major Depressive Disorder, GAD, and Social Phobia back in September and started on 20 mg of Citalopram in October. I seemed to respond really well to the meds at first, because I had an increase in mood, energy, and lower anxiety levels. In fact, I managed to lose around 25 pounds. I maintained normal sleeping patterns. I would occassionally have a short little episode of dysthymia symptoms but nothing that that lasted too long. The problem lately is that I have formed a romantic obsession with someone I barely know. Obviously, I have insight i
  25. Hi there, Just call me KL. I'm BP1, diagnosed about a decade ago, and hanging on with the lowest level of meds I can manage (Lamictal and Klonopin). Generally I don't like to think about my disorder or how it affects my life these days, because for the most part it's under control -- after about five years of being WAY out of control. But recently I got triggered by I don't know what, and have been having all sorts of problems -- mental, physical, emotional -- and I realize I need to be talking to some like-minded folks, because I'm in a situation where I don't have a support system, and my
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