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Sorry to interupt anything, but I don't know where else to turn. I need advise and I need it FAST! Let me give you the rundown: Disorders: Schizoaffective (bipolar type 1 mixed); Panic Disorder; ADD; Severe Social Phobia; Acute Anxiety; Severe Agoraphobia; Severe depression Now); Chronic Pain Disorder; severe obstructive sleep apnea; severe EDS/Narcolepsy; late stage hypothyroidism; high blood pressure...and more I'm sure... Meds currently on (some for decades): Geodon 80 mgs daily; Prozac 80 mgs daily; Clonazepam 6 mgs daily; Neurontin 1200 mgs daily; Adderall 60 mgs daily; Oxycontin 80 mgs daily; Oxycodone 45 mgs daily; Baclofet 75 mgs daily; Lisinopril 25 mgs daily (blood pressure); Synthroid 75 mcgs daily; and some misc.; antibiotics, etc. Income: Was a writer/designer for about 25 years, applied for disability in 2006 and was turned down but in appeal (as of today, it's still in appeal for back pay). Attorney advised to apply a second time and was given immediately last year, and considered 'lifelong' chronic disorders, but only $1,000 per month. I also took Indiana Medicaid and Food Stamps. Story 1: I have had no luck with shrinks in a couple years and fired my last one about a year ago. My doctor has been keeping me up on my meds including pain specialist, sleep disorder specialist. But for a year now, I have been trying to find a competent shrink that takes medicaid...but have had no luck. Last two shrinks I saw...one in May 2011, and one in Oct. 2011, both said my conditions were 'too acute' and didn't have the resources etc. to treat me. They also said (and I agree from experience) that my conditions are too acute for places like behavioral clinics and stress centers (been to both several times). And they weren't the first to say maybe the only option left is ECT because I have tried every (or most) anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, and mood stabilizers with no luck. I only had some luck with Geodon (which I take now), but I've gained about 50 pds and the paranoia and phobias are still strong. Abilify helped some, but gained weight, was maxed out and they took me off it. No luck with anti-depressants. Part 2: Because I had lost all hope for disability long ago, when I finally got it last year, I was in such bad shape (I was hospitalized 3 times in 5 months before and after I began getting it. Indiana medicaid sent me a letter a couple weeks ago saying I should have reported that income. Stupid me!! I figured...disability, both federal/state run; knew situation, etc. I thought it would automatically be known by state government, but I guess not. So, they immediately, without warning, cut my food stamps from $200 per month to $50 per month, and the biggie; they cut my medicaid and gave me a spend down of $300 per month before they provide anything. I immediately appealed it, but nothing has been set yet. The Problem and hope for advise: About 8 months ago, I was pretty much homeless, but came across a so-called 'friend' I knew since grade school. Known her over 35 years. She was informed of the situation, and gave me an offer I couldn't refuse..I had no other choice. (Keep in mind, we are just friends, not lovers or anything like that). After a couple months of talking, she made an offer of: I move to Lebanon, In close to her and she would be my provider until I could get the mental and physical help I needed and was stable...including help cleaning, finances, pay my bills, laundry etc. (I can no longer do daily tasks), and all I would have to do is find and establish a rapport with a shrink, therapist, doctors etc. I warned her it might take several months in my condition, she said 'quit worrying about it'...so I put my trust in her. She took everything I made including food stamps and medicaid covering everything except a $36 monthly copay for meds and found an apartment, got me set up etc. and budgeted everything so I would end up with about $150 to $200 per month left over (on good months), but after about 2 weeks of me getting in the apartment she bailed on me and won't have anything to do with me. And with my disorders, I can't do it all myself. I have also had two unsuccessful back surgeries and my pain specialist wants me to see another specialist for a third surgery. I can't do it. (Don't forget I have extreme agoraphobia; social and socio phobia (fear of public places as well as people in general). So I rarely go outside unless I have to. But with these cuts medicaid did to me, instead of just $36 per month for meds, I have to pay everything until the first $300 is paid. I DON'T have it! Like I said, I barely have $150 to $200 left per month and much of that is for emergencies like: higher utility bills depending on season etc., other meds; food that the $200 per month food stamps wouldn't take care of (yes, it's next to impossible to live off of $50 for a 7 day week of groceries, especially when you can't make it to the grocery store and you just live off frozen overpriced shit from the 24 hour CVS pharmacy across the street). So with this new spend down and cut in food stamps, I figured at minimum, I would end up at least $75+ in the hole every month. I can't afford two of my meds let alone 13! I live very cheaply. I don't have a phone, I don't have cable TV, no entertainment except the computer (which is my only way of contact with society). I have exactly 30 days of meds left, still no shrink, I've tried every resource I can come up with and I'm at a dead end. I still need part time live in help...I go a month+ without a shower or brushing; I have no clothes; I don't have a washer or dryer; I don't even have broom or vacuum cleaner...shit, I don't even have a bed...I sleep on the couch. I am waiting for replies from my last two possible resources. A social worker/case manager, and because of everything else, I going to try to find a psychologist I can talk to and maybe he can pull some strings. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is it possible to go to another country as a visitor and get proper medical treatment without losing my disability? Is there a law or exception for people like me to get this spend-down reversed? ANYTHING!!!???? I'm so sorry to take up your time, but I just have absolutely nowhere else to turn and I'm afraid I'm just going to end up being another statistic in a very short amount of time. A mentally ill nobody living on the street. I won't last two months. I am not street wise. I was decades ago, but not anymore. Again, I'm so sorry to bother you, I just don't know what else to do. Any suggestions would help and I thank you in advance...sincerely. Steve