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I am going to speak to my pdoc about this, but I think I have binge eating disorder. I have gained an unspeakable amount of weight just in the past month, and am about to break my all time high in weight. These binges seem to come in "spells" or "episodes" that last for several months unless I'm dieting, and it's incredibly frustrating. Last year, I lost 40 lb and nearly got to my target weight, and I suddenly started binge eating when I had a change in medication. Right now, I'm not on any medication that would induce weight gain or increase appetite all that much or at all really, that I know of. I've been researching binge eating disorder (BED) medications, and this is what I've come up with. Please let me know if there's anything else I could add to this list. I plan on asking my pdoc about all of them and possibly adding them to my (already extensive) list of meds. Antidepressants I'm on Parnate, so I can't take SSRI's or SNRI's, but I'm on the TCA desipramine (Norpramin), which has been studied in binge eating disorder in dosages up to 300 mg. With the combo of my MAOI, I won't be able to go up that high, my current dose of 150 mg is probably as high as I will be able to go. Anti-obesity medications With my MAOI, the only one I think I can take is Orlistat, which I've heard has a lot of GI side effects (unless you eat a low fat diet, which tend not to work for me. I tend to respond better to low carb, high protein, high fat diets). In the past I've taken phentermine, which has worked fantastically, as well as diethylpropion, but because of my MAOI and Adderall, I don't think I can take those. Antiepileptic drugs Topamax — Studied in doses from 50-600 mg. I've taken this before up to 200 mg and it really didn't have an effect on my appetite. I can't take it though because both times I took it, it gave me kidney stones really bad. Zonegran — Studied in doses from 100-600 mg. I currently take this at 300 mg, and I don't really notice it affecting my appetite. I'd like to try higher doses of it, but my pdoc simply won't raise the dose of it for some reason. Lamictal — Studied in doses from 50-400 mg. I'm already on 300 mg. "Because lamotrigine and placebo had similarly high rates of reduction of weekly frequency of binge-eating episodes, the efficacy of lamotrigine in BED could not be determined. However, lamotrigine was associated with a numerically greater amount of weight loss (1.17 kg for lamotrigine versus 0.15 kg for placebo) and statistically significant reductions in fasting levels of glucose, insulin, and triglycerides, consistent with the finding that lamotrigine is associated with weight loss in healthy patients with obesity." ADHD drugs Strattera — Studied in doses of 40-120 mg. I'm not sure if I could take this with my MAOI, but then again, it's a selective NRI, which is pretty much what desipramine is, so perhaps I could trade out desipramine for Strattera? The ending mean dose was 106 ± 21 mg/day. I'm not sure I could go that high with Parnate. Vyvanse — I know this is approved for BED, but I'm already taking Adderall, which I prefer to Vyvanse. Antiaddiction drugs Opioid antagonists — naltrexone — studied in doses of 200-400 mg/day — this one shows a lot of promise. I'm definitely going to ask about this one. Acamprosate — Mean endpoint dose was 2597 ± 605 mg/day, which is pretty high to my understanding. "Acamprosate was not associated with a significantly greater decrease in binge eating frequency or any other outcome measure in the primary longitudinal analysis. However, in the secondary endpoint analysis, acamprosate was associated with statistically significant improvement in binge day frequency and in measures of obsessive-compulsive symptoms of binge-eating, food craving, and quality of life. BMI decreased slightly with acamprosate and increased with placebo; among completers, BMI decreased significantly with acamprosate than placebo recipients. Other agents Memantine (Namenda) — studied in dosages up to 20-30 mg/day, but I'm sure my insurance has a quantity limit of 20 mg/day. Sodium oxybate (Xyrem) — there's practically no chance of my pdoc prescribing this to me... Baclofen — One study used 60 mg, in which two of the subjects gained weight but had reduced binge-eating frequency, while another study used 120-180 mg. Am I missing anything? If so, please comment.

Had a totally weird experience at the dentist....... So, I was having a tooth pulled and got the usual local anaesthetic. The thing is the dentist started fading into the distance and I felt really dopey and giddy. That passed and when the dentist knew I was ok, gave me another injection. The reaction was a bit delayed this time and it was when I was getting my tooth pulled I was in cuckoo land. Dentist said that happens sometimes....I didn't mind one bit!! Before I went home I was given a mug of coffee and observed for about 30 mins. I was totally fine then and went home. NEVER happened to me before.... Just wondering would it be an interaction with my medication (See signature). Has this ever happened anyone else. I'm baffled

I know what the papers say but I want to know if this medication really works from people who are on Brintellix or who have taken Brintellix? When is the best time to take Brentillix? AM or PM?

seroquel caused me to put on 45lbs. i'm really unhappy with this. the dose is lowered, meds adjusted, and i'm eager to lose this but feeling powerless.

Sorry this is so long, please read but I'll add a TL;DR section at the bottom. I'm 19 and I've been struggling with ***MAJOR*** axiety ever since I was 14 although over the years the anxiety has grown worse. It's always been super bad but now it's unbarable and I dont know what to do or where to go from here. I've been diagnosed with GAD, OCD, socal phobia, panic disorder and agoraphobia by my latest psychyatrist. I've been on several medications over the years but almost nothing has worked and I'm seriously considering going to some kind of hospital. I'm so tired of being so anxious and it's ruining my life and has been ever since it showed up. I barely made passing grades in school (even failed a couple of classes) because I could never concentrate, I was always in panic mode. I would skip school so often I got notices for truency court which made me even more anxious, I eventually just became homeschooled my senior year. I never made many friends in highschool and only 1 stuck with me dispite everything and they are currently my only friend. Nowadays I'm too anxious to leave my house except to go to therapy and my psychologist. I've only been to my psychiatrist twice and she put me on Pristiq claiming it would make me feel like a new person but it has made my anxiety worse and I don't know how much I can trust psychiatrists anymore... I've been to 3 in my life and nothing has helped. Also, none of them would prescribe me a nerve pill like Xanax or Ativan because they said I'm too young and they are addictive. But I hear they work good for major anxiety??? Here are the medications I've been on: -Strattera: My first psychiatrist thought I was ADHD and that my lack of cencentration was making me anxious?? Idk, it just made me feel like I was having heart attacks. -Paxil: I asked for it because I heard it was really good for anxiety but it made me sleep a lot and that made my parents mad. -Zoloft: I actually felt like I could slow down and breathe on this... anxiety was def still there but I could count the amount of panic attacks I had in a week on one hand. BUT it quit working after 4 months and my psychiatrist refused to put me on anything higher than 150mg. -Buspar: What... even is this?? Does it do anything or is it a placebo pill?? I'm being serious. -Lexapro: I couldn't afford to go to a psychiatrist anymore at the time so I went to a regular doctor. I went to max dose and it didn't help with my anxiety but I didn't have the urge to pace or rub my skin anymore so that was a plus. -Lamictal: I started going to a new psychiatrist and she was convinced I was straight up bipolar and that was the route of my problems but I honestly don't think I am. I have several people in my family who are (maybe thats why she thought that) and I have never felt manic. Anyways, Lamictal made me itchy and lose 20 pounds, putting me underweight. -Abilify: I told the same psychiatrist that the Lamictal wasn't working for me and I needed something for my anxiety but she swore it was bipolar making me feel anxious so she added Abilify. It was the antipsychotic that made me feel psychotic. I didn't sleep for literal 4 days straight and I became afraid of windows and the feel of fabric... not to mention I was counting the spots in my house I could hang myself from. I didn't go back to that psychiatrist. -Fish Oil, Vitamin B, Vitamin C, exersize, yoga: Not medications but my parents were getting really fed up with me and the psychiatrists so they made me try the natural stuff (which I was already taking Vitamin C and doing yoga). I didn't notice a different in my anxiety but it made me feel nice that I was getting healthier at least physically. -Pristiq: I'm at a new psychiatrist and she claimed Pristiq would cure all my problems which I knew was an exageration but I had hope. It made me feel double anxious just after 5 days. At first I though it was just my head telling me that bad things were going to happen but mom took my blood pressure and it was high for someone my size (I'm 4'11). I went back to her the next appointment and she said thats how it would feel starting up but after my body got ajusted it would make me feel great. I was on it for a whole month and a half before I couldn't take it anymore. I have another appointment to see her July 15. When I say my anxiety is horrible, I really mean it is so terrible that I can't think of a time where I didn't fall asleep from exaustion of that days emotional events. I have body pains, heart pains and palpitations, headaches... along with depression, guilt and overall feeling of worthlessness. My question is where do I go from here? What medicine should I try? Should I keep trying medicines? What has worked for you? Is there any hope I'll get better or is this who I'm damned to be? Please help. ******TL;DR****** I'M SO ANXIOUS I CAN'T FUNTION AND IDK WHAT TO DO BECAUSE ALL THE MEDICINES I'VE TRIED ARE SHIT AND I'M STARTING TO THINK I'M SCREWED UP ON SUCH A LEVEL THAT I'LL NEVER FEEL NORMAL OR AT LEAST CLOSE TO IT PLEASE HELP IM WILING TO TRY ANYTHING I DONT CARE IF I GET FAT OR HAVE TO GET LIVER CHECKS OR GET SO CONSTIPATED I SHIT MINIVANS I JUST NEED SOMETHING TO NUMB THIS CONSTANT PANIC

I never know if I feel normal, or if I even remember what normal feels like, or happiness even. When I was 12 years old, I was happy. I got bullied, I was fat, lazy, but I was happy. I had motivation and emotions. But I remember stumbling upon a bottle of xanax on top of my fridge, looking at it for weeks, contemplating taking one. I eventually took 1, and I remember feeling like everything was alright, none of my problems mattered. It started as a once a week thing. And then an every day thing. And then, I found a bottle of adderall, when I was 13 I think. Xanax and adderall, my life was perfect. I knew I had ADHD, because I learned about it when I was 10 or 11 and I knew I had it. Eventually my dad found out I was stealing his pills, my parents stopped trusting me, and shit went down. I turned to DXM, coricidin, triple Cs. I spent my entire 8th grade year tripping on DXM, and at this point I was being treated like a labrat being put on antipsychotics, SSRIs, etc. and I know for a fact I mixed prozac and DXM a few times. My band broke up, I lost all but one of my friends, and I was either high or in a chemical lobotoby all the time. I never finished my freshmen year of high school, because I went in and out of treatment bullshit clinics, abusing the cotton from benzedrex inhalers (feels exactly like meth, but with more side effects). Ended up repeating the grade. Sometime when I was 15 or 16, I ended up losing that one friend I had because he got me addicted to morphine and I got him addicted to klonopin, long and confusing story. Dropped out of highschool when I was 16, have been mostly complient with psych meds for the past 4 years, minus a series of hospitalizations, but after that, I'm still almost completely complient. But I just don't feel right. Sometimes I take a break from all meds, for a week, to see if I'll ever feel normal, but I just feel either doped out, stupid, tired, wired, or brain damaged. Is there hope for me, to feel normal (I've been anhedonic and schizoid for years) if I just take my meds (focalin, neuroprotective) , (clonidine, cardioprotective), and lexapro (SSRIs possibly deplete receptors but they eventually grow back, or not, I don't know.).

I am new to this board, I find them on web searches all the time but have yet to actually join in and participate. I am diagnosed bipolar, major depressive, with a little adhd thrown in for good measure. I have been taking medications for these various ailments for about 15 years. It finally came to the point where I was unable to work anymore. I became unable to deal with rude, abprupt and just downright mean people. And I am a people person! lol I have been using an outpatient place not far from my home. They have had me on a merryground of meds. REcently, I was prescribed a new medication, took it for a month, picked up the new new refill and noticed I was still feeling weepy. I brought this up via phone and when called back was told to either discontinue the med, our doublle it. I decided to double it, which seemed to work. Then, I was running out of prescript, my pharmacy faxed in a request to them, and heard nothing back. I was told by the office that I had to refill for a few weeks. I told them it had been recommended by the doc that I increase it, therefore I need a refill sooner. there started one of the most miserable weeks of my life! I have called, left messages, even checked with my md to see if anything can be done. this morning they told me that the PRN that prescribes it is seeing patients, then will write my prescription, I am suppsed to call if i hear nothing by 4pm. Does anyone ever feel that there is no patient support when it comes to mental health? I am a 45 y/o women with a husband and kids. I want to be a productive citizen and not have breakdowns, brainzaps and dizziness because they dropped the ball. Very scary past week for my family and me. Anyone else experience anything similar to this? B

I was on Saphris from January to May with no memory problems. When I stopped in May I noticed a gradual change in my memory, specifically my short-term memory. It went from my short-term memory was lasting for about 5 to 20 minutes, however, after I stopped it my memory lasts only about 2 to 5 seconds before I forget things I'm thinking of. Is this a common reaction after stopping an AP/ AAP?

i'm just curious about which medications are normally prescribed for weight loss. i know healthy eating and exercise are the first choice, normally... i'm just wondering what happens when someone is really struggling and can't seem to gain any ground, due to the antipsychotics or mood stabilizers or other medications they are on. i feel like a slug, and i don't have the energy nor self control at this point, to make headway in the area of cutting back calories or by engaging in exercise solely and exclusively. i have started walking, but i still feel like eating the whole refrigerator and things are just not going well. this is not really about alternatives to achieving weight loss, i have been able to lose weight before the medications i am on, and i've gained so much that i would like to talk to my pdoc about other options... i don't mind doing the healthy eating and exercise, but right now it seems like i could use a boost. i'm at basically 0 motivation and energy, and feel like i need help. i'm very new to exploring this area of rx medication. would anyone be willing to name some that they know of or have had successes or failures with ? i realize this is a last option, but i would appreciate it if we could just stick to the topic... and not go into how to lose weight solely through diet and exercise. i have gained 45-50 lbs. and i don't see it going anywhere at this point, without some extra help. this is really not okay.

Hi crazies, So I've been in outpatient care for over a year now trying different medications and therapies to try and make me feel better. See, here's the catch... none of the medications seem to have any effect on me at all. I mean nothing. Or nothing that I can see. I read about some people seeing a marked difference sometimes when they try some new medications, either bad or good, but I've never had anything close to that ever happen to me. My case presents like an easy-to-treat depression, which is what my psychiatrist said, and that after a couple of anti-depressants I should be feeling better shortly. Yeah.. that didn't happen. We've tried so many medications that he is starting to panic now and he even recommended electroconvulsive therapy. My question is does anyone else have this problem? And if you do what are you trying/what works for you?

Hi crazies (lol), I've been on your website recently and found the information and sense of community quite inspiring. Well, I'm a 17 year old high school senior with major depressive disorder... that's about it i guess, that's all I've got. Obvious symptoms of a mood disorder surfaced at 14 years old, but now that I know more about mental health i realize that I was probably very different in the way I think from early childhood. Two years ago my family saw that my mood was become a problem and starting to affect my life so they made me go to our general practitioner and from there I referred to a psychiatrist, whom I am still currently with. I was hospitalized three times in three months back in mid 2013 for suicidal thoughts and intentions, self harm... and other usual stuff that we all go through here (stay strong together (: ). There has been some debate on the diagnosis which may explain why nothing has worked thus far. I was once given a diagnosis of bipolar 2 and bipolar NOS and doctors were treating me accordingly. However, after my most recent hospitalization the diagnosis is now MDD, but I think all of us (including the doctors) are a bit confused as to what exactly is wrong with me. So yeah, that's where I am now... in a long stalemate of doctor giving medications and me staring at them hoping one day one of them will work. I realize this is getting long so I'm done now thanks for reading if you did .

Hey I'm new to the board...not new to MI. I'm going to be asking a shitload of questions because my dr is senile...bear with me!

Anyone over the age of 30 have experiences with Paxil they would like to share?

Hi everyone! Get ready for a long one. First off, I figure I should start out with my current cocktail. Without further adieu, I take the following on a daily basis: 50 mgs Vyvanse, AM 100 mgs Lamictal, AM Multivitamin, AM 100 mgs Tegretol, lunchtime 150 mgs Zoloft, Bedtime 200 mgs Tegretol, Bedtime 2000 mgs Vitamin D, Bedtime .25 mgs / .5 mgs Klonipin (depending on anxiety level), bedtime Prilosec OTC, bedtime Bit of history. I've been on crazy meds for close to 20 years now. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 10 years old, depression at 14, and bipolar at 18. I've been on meds for them ever since then and pretty much, if you name it, I've been on it with few exceptions. I sort of grew up in a family where if there was something wrong, you threw a pill at it and hoped for the best. I had the Tegretol added to the mix when I lost my job as an office manager for a non-emergency medical transportation company in July of last year. My moods were all over the place, and for the most part I was depressed over losing my job and not being able to find another one. My GP decided that adding Tegretol might not be a bad idea as it was cheap and should help my Lamictal get my moods back to where they needed to be. The first few weeks of taking Tegretol were hellacious, between the nausea, dizziness, and numbness and tingling in my mouth. I got through that, and everything seemed okay. After a while, we decided that I could start backing off of the Tegretol, but every time I tried cutting it down by a quarter of a tablet (50 mgs), my anxiety and mood went crazy. I was anxious and depressed as all hell, and my boyfriend was ready to cut and run. (I've since gotten rid of him, thank God.) Anyway, I left him shortly after having some bloodwork done that came back showing a heightened level of protein in my blood. I had an immunoelectrophoresis done, and that showed that I had an M-spike in my blood, heightened level of globulins, and my immunoglobulin-G was way higher than it should have been. I was referred to an oncologist who did more bloodwork and a bone marrow biopsy (ouch, ouch, ouch). The tests came back negative for bone marrow cancer (huzzah!), and I was diagnosed with MGUS, Monoclonal Gammopathy of Unknown Significance. Basically, one of my antibodies went on a cloning spree and created plasma cells that took up residence in my bone marrow. I have 10% plasma cells in my bone marrow, and they don't treat it until it hits 25%, so I'm okay. (There's a 1% chance that someone under 35 will get MGUS. It usually affects African American men over 55. I'm a 30 year old caucasian female. Go figure.) A few weeks after the awesome news that I didn't have cancer, I came down with the stomach flu that was going around. I went to my GP after feeling lethargic and just plain awful all day long, and it turned out I was slightly dehydrated. My specific gravity was higher than it should have been, meaning my kidneys were working a bit too hard, there was a bit of white blood cells in my urine, and so I was given 2 liters of saline intravenously. Okay, not fun, but no big deal. 2 weeks later, I went into work at the usual 7:30 AM (I work for Wow, a phone/internet/cable company as a tech support rep). I was wicked dizzy, nauseated, and felt like I was in a daze. Customers would ask me questions that I knew the answers to, but for some reason I couldn't pull the answers out of my head. I left work and went to my doctor, knowing that something wasn't quite right. They did another urinalysis since they gave me saline last visit, and it turned out I was "bone dry dehydrated," as my doctor said. My specific gravity was through the roof, and so I was given another 2 bags of saline. Roughly 3 weeks later, the same thing happened. After this visit, I called my oncologist who had me come in later that week. I did a 24 hour urine collection (so gross) as well as more bloodwork, and when everything came back, it was determined that my protein levels were the same as they were before, and my calcium levels were fine as well. (He suspected hypercalcemia, which is one of the stages of bone marrow cancer where they start treatment) In between the time where he did the tests and we got the results, I wound up at the ER getting 2 more bags of saline because *drum roll*, you guessed it! More dehydration. My oncologist was stumped, so he sent me to a nephrologist who has currently ordered tests. I go back and see him around the end of this month. Really long story short, my blood work will come back fine. My electrolytes are right where they need to be, and with the exception of a Vitamin D deficiency (hence the Vitamin D supplement), my metabolic profile is darn near perfect. The only oddity was one test that came back showing that I have ANA in my blood (anti-nuclear antibodies) with a pattern that would suggest SLE (a form of Lupus). My nephrologist has me going in a week to have bloodwork done to eliminate Lupus as a possible cause for this crap, and he did mention that 35% of people in America have ANA in their blood and don't even know it, so it's possible that it's not a huge deal. In the meantime, everyone is stumped. The only thing I can think of is that being on all these medications for the past 20 years is catching up to me, and perhaps my kidneys are acting up? Having a high specific gravity simply means that my kidneys are holding on to a lot of fluid and salt. What's weird though is that after getting 2 bags of saline, I feel 150% better. The nephrologist said that's because it flushes out my kidneys, sort of like an oil change. I apologize for the insanely long post, but does anyone have any input? I'm thinking it may be time to cut back on some of my meds, but I'm going to see a doc on Friday to make sure and do it under his supervision. MGUS, Lupus, ANA, M-spikes... I can't help but wonder if some of this crap is related to taking crazy meds for the past 20 years. Any thoughts? Sorry for the crazy long post. Thanks!

Hello! I am new to posting, and somewhat new to Crazyboards. A relatively recent (1 month) increase of symptoms is as follows, and has warranted the caution of my psychiatrist that full psychotic mania is a future possibility. Any assistance in helping to determine the cause of these symptoms, primarily within the parameters of medications and seasonal patterns due to a Bipolar I Subtype of Schizoaffective Disorder, would be immensely appreciated, as this has been becoming quickly distressing: Mood 1. Elevated, expanded mood mixed with Treatment-Refractory Depression 2. Irritability 3. Confusion 4. Difficulty sustaining attention (5-20m) 5. Mydriasis when not greatly stressed (never previously seen before) 6. Reduced need for sleep by four hours (in 1 month) 7. Massively increased creativity and obsessions that interfere with functioning outside of those obsessions Psychosis, Delusions, and Paranoia *These occur during all parts of the day and night 1. Conversations with audible whispers 2. Hearing distinct and intimidating voices 3. Seeing distorted visual perspectives similar to Van Gough's work 4. Feeling a hand hold my hand and other less significant tactile hallucinations 5. Paranoid that others are watching at all times 6. Delusion that I am stuck in a psychotic coma (so to speak) in a psychiatric hospital. I realize this may not be the APA, and is a discussion board. But any incite into what is going on would be greatly appreciated, and would alleviate a lot of pressure if I just knew what this is (I have better, yet still poor insight when symptomatic patterns change gradually). Thank you! tel Rx. Current: (mg/day): 1. Abilify 30mg, 2. Risperidone .5mg 3. Propranolol 60mg, 4. Methylphenidate 45mg 5. Gabapentin 2400mg 6. Clonazepam 2mg 7. Hydrozyzine 100mg 8. Benztropine 1mg 9. Lithium 900mg 10. Lamotrigine 400mg 11. Albuteral Sulfate 12. Trazodone 150mg

Everything so clear suddenly. My mind used to feel fuzzy and dazed but now it feels crystal clear! It's amazing! I keep going on about it to my mom lol. And my homework! I never realized how easy it was! This is amazing! :DDD My mom is proud of me! I am so happy!

I have a good mood stabilizer and a good antidepressant... but my antimania (Antipsychotic to be specific) is only at 1mg (of risperdal) and I am feeling the weight gain side effect already. AND I am moderately manic. I need something that works for mania and does not cause weight gain. My psychiatrist does not want to put me on Geodon because of it's needs for EKGs. Any ideas??? If I am left with no other option I will ask if we could give the Geodon a try and schedule an EKG.

Hello, new here and hoping someone might be able to offer advice on medication resistant GAD. My main dx's (since 2004) are GAD and depression; the GAD is giving me major problems. My main problem is extremely bad brain fog-short term memory problems have cost me jobs and are threatening to halt my attempt to start a college degree; depression from a parent's passing has made this even worse. I have been seeing various pdoc/tdocs since 2004 and am on .5-1 mg of klonopin 1x/day. Given that I've taken up to 3mg/day of klonopin, I am extremely concerned about its effects on memory and would like to slowly taper off this med. I'm also on 88mcg of Synthroid (borderline hypothyroid, dx 2011). Over the course of eight years, I have tried all the major families of meds with these results: Tricyclic and tetracyclic ADs/SNRI's killed any motivation I had to to do anything; SSRIs: largely the same w/little improvement; AAPs (Serequel), extremely sedating at 25mg w/no improvement Neurontin: knocked me out at 600 mg; Lamictal: no effect Wellbutrin, Viibryd: agitiating; worsened GAD Modafinil (for focus): no effect I am considering ADD meds, even though I've had neurospych testing w/o that dx. My concerns (as well as my current and former pdoc's) are that most of the ADD meds (Adderall,etc.) would be far too agitating. I'm thinking about valproic acid; my pdoc has mentioned Abilify at low (2-5mg) dose would help,but given my med record, what would I take it with? I have heard some good reports about Deplin; I'm also going to look into Cytomel. I'm taking one class twice a week and it is a major struggle to accomplish any work. I am scared to death that nothing will work medwise. Any help would be very much appreciated.

Hey everyone, So, this post is just a jumble of thoughts about some things going on recently. To give you a little background: I've been diagnosed with several things in the past; Major Depressive Disorder with Psychosis, Bipolar I, and Schizoaffective Disorder. I'm on Lithium, Saphris, and Prolixin injections. I am talking to my doctor tomorrow about what my treatment will be and how the diagnosis she decides on will factor into that. Now, I've always been a "worrier". But lately, I've been experiencing some things that I guess could be called paranoia. I think things that just don't make sense. 1. I will worry obsessively before I fall asleep that I will die in my sleep. I will do things like not lock my door so it is easier for the Paramedics/EMTs/my room mate to get in if I die, make sure I am not sleeping in my underwear, etc. 2. I feel like someone will break into my house. Before I fall asleep, I listen for noises, mentally remind myself that I locked the door, go downstairs and check that I locked the door. 3. I worry that there is a conspiracy against me. I'll explain. I've been having trouble meeting new people, whether it be for friendship or dating. I feel like everyone is talking about me and that's why I can't meet anyone. It makes no sense, but I get so mad because I feel like everyone knows about me when they meet me so they know not to talk to me. 4. I worry that if I leave the house something bad will happen to me, like my bus will get into an accident, someone will shoot me, someone will rob me, etc. I stay in the house because of this, but no one knows that is why I won't leave the house. Sometimes I am okay to go out, but other times it gives me a lot of anxiety. There are more, but those are the big ones. Is this something I should bring up with my doctor, or are these thoughts "run of the mill"? I can't tell if I'm just adding another symptom to my list of symptoms, or if these thoughts are really troublesome. Finally, I've been reading about "Negative Symptoms" and I feel like I have a lot of them. The "Positive Symptoms" like voices, visual hallucinations, have gone away. But, I don't leave the house much, my room is disgusting, have been wearing dirty clothes over and over again, worry excessively, and have severe lack of motivation. Any suggestions for how to deal with these symptoms? -L.W.

Has anyone else felt the need to hide your moods or mood swings from others? Do you find yourself trying to hide the severity of your moods (i.e. how depressed you really are)? My SO doesn't have a lot of patience with my depression and how it affects me. On the other hand, he LOVES my hypomania because I run around cleaning his house! But he gets irritated when I can't concentrate or sit still. I can't totally hide either mood, but I try to pretend I'm somewhat cheerful (or alive) when depressed, and I do the hypomanic cleaning when SO isn't home. I also hide stuff I buy, or go off and "lie down" when I can't sit still. Mixed states and/or irritability? Can't hide that, so all bets are off. In general I feel that others don't understand or cut any slack when confronted with mental illness and its symptoms due to stigma. Today I read yet another news story about the cops shooting a mentally ill person just because she had a knife in her hand. So, I'm both embarrassed and a bit scared to let people see my symptoms. Also I was raised in an emotionally abusive environment where displays of emotion were either punished or ridiculed. I learned to "wear my face as a mask" as I call it. By the way, it just occurred to me that I bust my butt trying to hide med side effects as well, like tremors. So feel free to write about that if you want.

I'm dealing with a depressive downswing at the moment and I'm looking for some opinions so that I can go into next weeks pdoc appointment educated. 1. Does Geodon have an antidepressant effect? If so, will going up on the dose help? 2. If Geodon doesn't do much for depression, will adding an antidepressant help? 3. Is there a different anti-psychotic that might have a bit of a lift for mood? 4. My therapist mentioned today a drug that I didn't catch the name of and wondered if I was on it. It wasn't one I'd heard of before. Is there an antidepressant that works well with my current medications? Please add anything else you think I might need to know. I've lost my train of thought now.