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My name is Allison or Alliy but I might not remember that tomorrow. I am 22 years old almost 23 and am a housewife who stumbles through mental illness one confusing, chaotic, messy day at a time. I have been diagnosed correctly after years of medications and doctors who would rather write me a script that listen to my distorted mumblings but that is beside the point. I was finally diagnosed as Major Depression Disorder with Psychosis which only happened after a minor nervous breakdown and a stint in a hospital. I was released yesterday after 6 days and 1 spent in the er trying to get a bed for me. I have hallucinations that are vivid visual and audio. I have memory loss in the short and long term. I have crippling anxiety and a mild case of ocd and the occasional stress induced seizure.

Hi folks, I'm new here and very sad. I had my first and last ECT (8 bi-lateral) and my retrograde memory loss hasn't returned. I had no short or long term memory issues during the treatments. Actually, my memory ididn't start deteriorating until 6 months after my last treatment. I'm so sad. I'm missing memories of my children growing up. Right now, I'm tapering from benzos and pray once I'm off, some of these memories will return. I'm grieving and I never knew how much my memories meant to me until now. It feels like part of me is gone. Has anyone had memories return 2 years after their last treatment? I could really use some hope. This has made me so depressed since November, 2013. Thank you for this forum.

I know way to many people post about meds instead of searching the forums to find something that's already been said but I searched I swear! lol. I'm taking 300Mg Wellbutrin, 150 Mg Effexor, 200 Mg Lamictal, 5 Mg Abilify (just started) and I've become really spacey in my head. Kinda like my minds just lagging a few seconds behind. I've even started losing memories of people/facts/etc unless they are somehow brought to my attention (kinda like a very very early stage of Alhemeizers in a way?). Can't remember peoples names, words to songs (I'm a worship leader... Songs are my business), Chord shapes (guitar) etc. Could be medicine adjusting or life or whatever but thought I'd ask you all for your opinion or thoughts or what have you.

I am checking into the hospital today for another series of ECT. My last series was last December, so not that long ago, and I was in the hospital about 6 weeks. This time after I am done I will go in about once a month for just one ECT and hopefully that will keep me better. Last time I lost a lot of memory and husband says that it took about 3 weeks after I got home before I was able to form regular memory and be able to read and understand what was going on. I still don't remember most of last year. But it was worth getting the ECTs even with the memory loss. I have run out of medication that works and was suicidal for several months. So I probably won't even remember I made this post. I guess I just want to say to my future self that it was either the ECT treatment or death so don't feel too bad about the memory loss. To anyone else who is considering ECT treatment my memory loss is worse that usual and the other times I have had ECT the memory loss has not been an issue. Still, it is better than death or the living death that you go through after all other treatments fail.