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So I've been clean for almost three months now. Today my mom and I got into a huge argument. She mentioned something along the lines of, "you're gonna be pissed off so you're gonna go cut yourself huh?" It really upset me for some reason. The way she said it was so cold, like it was an insult. I thought she really cared though. Then she said something similar to, "you're gonna cut your arm." When I went back into my room, I couldn't help but cry. When she brought the topic of self harming up, it was the first time I even thought about it in months. It was a sick reminder. I don't know, I'm not really looking for advice or anything. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Any ideas about ECT? Pros and cons?

A few days after Donald J. Trump was elected president, I started getting anxious phone calls from some of my patients. They were not just worried about the direction President-elect Trump might take the nation, but about how they were going to fare, given their longstanding and serious mental illnesses. “Will I still have insurance and have my medications covered?” one depressed patient asked me. As a psychiatrist, I wish that I could be more reassuring to my patients during a highly stressful political transition, but in truth, they have reason to worry. The Mental Health Crisis in Trump’s America

Alright, let's do this. Long story short, I had an amazing childhood, plenty of friends, loving family, I was outgoing, life was just awesome. Fast forward to middle school (8th grade), I suddenly become shy out of o where. Lost friends, became a loner, got teased/bullied daily. Same shit happened in high school, except it was worse. I thought things would be better once I got into college, and guess the fuck what? It has never been this bad. Frankly, I don't understand why I'm picked on. I think it's bc I'm so quiet/shy and people take advantage of that. Any fucking ways. I'm sick of it, and I'm ready to bounce. So, basically I've developed depression, aniexiy, horrible social skills, and blah blah blah. I don't wanna bore you. You get the picture though. I've done lots of research and I found a painless, peaceful way to die. I could do it anytime I want, BUT IM SO FUCKING SCARED. I'm terrfied of the after-life. I'm Christian, and I don't know if suicide is a forgivable sin. One day I was watching a horror movie, and a woman had acid poured on her face, and her flesh was burning and melting. And I thought...THAT COULD FUCKING BE ME IF I DID IT. I know, a fix to my worries is to endure a miserable life in order to avoid eternal torture, but I seriously can't. Some people might say, "omg shut up life is hard for everyone, suck it up". I couldn't care less about those people. You expect me to continue my misery because you're telling me that I should? Fuck outtaaaaaaa here. There are other factors/consequences for my actions, like hurting my family. I thought about it for nearly 4 years and I'm going to be selfish and do it anyways. All that crap people say about "it will get better" is not true. There's something else I'm not mentioning because I'm too embarased to say (the main reason for this suicide), but let's just say that I cannot have any social life or even a job because of it. I cannot be around people. I cannot make a living because a job requires an interview and co-workers. I'm barely getting through college, and my grades are struggling because I skip classes (since it's a huge room filled with 600+ people). I don't eat or go to the dinning halls bc again...people. I literally have nothing to live for. I don't mind the isolation, in fact, it's the only time I'm at peace. But I can't be isolated forever. I hope I'm making sense. Anyways. I need some thought about this. If you're reglious, do you think I will be forgiven? If you're not, do you think life after death is peaceful?

Hi guys so im starting my first day of treatment tomorrow, 1/20/17. I must say I am extremely happy to be at this stage and be fully functional. I will give you an insight as to my past. I have struggled with substance abuse for about the past 7 years or so. I wont get into too much details, but I had my share of tough patches...blackouts, chain smoking, near death experiences. Anyway the point being is im still alive today and I am taking medicine to cope with everything. I am writing to you to give me some advice on what to expect while taking this and how to make it through the rough patches, so I've have heard. Please comment in this thread below I would really appreciate it. I am taking Citalopram.

I'm new here! My name is Jen I'm 30/ yrs old just recently came out to my loved ones looking for friends who want to u defeat X my craziness ??❤️

I am unsure if I am posting in the right place, so I apologize if I am. I just got word two days ago that my psychiatrist is leaving the clinic that I go to, and that next week is his last week. When I asked the office staff where he was going, no one knew. This is really hard for me to deal with as I became emotionally attached to him. He only worked at the clinic that I go to for a little over a year. This is a huge shock to me. I was told that I would be put on a waiting list for the new psychiatrist who will be replacing him. I have trust issues and I am wary of seeing someone new; and this is really upsetting to me because I really trusted my pdoc. I am wondering, that if he is staying local if I am allowed to still see him? and how can I found out where he is going if his office staff won't tell me? will my insurance company know where he's going, or are there any other resources that could help me find out where he is going? A lot of things were left unanswered for me and I would really like some closure. I am having a very hard time dealing with him leaving, any advice is much appreciated.

Can someone explain the anti-medication viewpoint to me? I really don't understand it. Why in this day and age with all the knowledge we have about neurobiology are people still against taking medication? I can undestand wanting to try therapy, exercise, vitamins, nutrition, relaxation techniques etc first, but the research shows that therapy combined with medication produces the most effective results. Why do people suffer for years without trying medication? Do they think taking meds will make them a weaker person? That society will think less of them? If something isn't working you clearly need to try a new approach. My motto has always been that I've been willing to try anything to get better and because of that willingness, I'm pleased to say that I found an effective treatment regime( meds and ECT), but it took a long time. I don't know where I'd be without medication. I've been on it for 20 years( although back then it was just an SSRI). Are people scared of meds? Scared of the side effects? Are they scared the meds will dumb them down? Lessen their creativity? SImple meds like SSRI's hardly do that. If anything they increase your ability to pay attention because they alleviate depression. There are some side effects to medications, but they have other medications to combat those side effects. You don't have to walk around like a zombie, gain a ton of weigh, fidget constantly, or be tired all the time. Part of me thinks people who won't try meds secretly enjoy their misery. Not consciously, but it's like their mental illness has become part of their identity, and they don't want to let go of it. They've gotten stuck in the victim role. Part of depression is loosing hope that things will get better, but if a doctor tells you that millions of people have benefitted from something, why not try it, even if you don't believe it will work. One has to have the willingness to change to get better. And that willingness means being open to new treatment options. To clarify, I'm particularly refering to depression in this post and to antidepressants. Sorry for some of the previous misunderstandings. I would be curious to hear why people with other disorders are anti medication though. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I really don't get the anti-med movement. Would love to hear some of your comments.

Hello Everyone, My name is Heather and I run a blog called Mental Parent. My goal is to help reduce the stigma against the mentally ill. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1, BPD and PTSD. With the recent uptick in violence in this world, the new scapegoat has been chosen...the mentally ill. I decideded to write a blog post about it called "Mass Shooting=Mental Illness". If you are interested, please do read http://www.mentalparent.com/mental-illness/mass-shootersmental-illness#.U7SZIvldVvA

Probably a stupid question. I've never had any direction career-wise. Other people look at their skills and interests to figure out what jobs/careers are right for them, but I've never been able to come up with a single idea. As far as I am concerned, I have no skills... And, strangely, I don't have any real interests. I have racked my brains for years but no job seems right for me at all. The only thing I know is mental illness.... I've had severe social phobia (possibly bordering on agoraphobia) for years, plus depression, generalized anxiety, and a little OCD. Actually I started out with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which I'm fairly sure I still have. My self-esteem is non-existent; minus zero. I'm in a constant battle with myself. I know how all of it feels, because I've been there. So, I was wondering if maybe my career is staring me in the face? Maybe I should help other girls with poor body image and social anxiety? Could I even do that? I mean, I've got a hell of a long way to go. I'm in CBT, and I still struggle leaving my home. Could I ever be well enough to help others? I know there are lots of different ways someone can work in mental health, so I'm not sure what would be "right" for me, if anything. I live in the UK.

This past year has been shit. My mood has been swinging constantly between severely low to hypomanic-style. I've been dissociating and feeling numb, like im not me & like im on the outside looking in constantly, i've had constant thoughts, images & compulsions of self-harm & suicide. I've had severe separation anxiety, fearing being alone or abandoned. I've switched from being close to people to disliking them randomly,wanting to be around people to isolating myself. Feeling impulses to buy things or go places that are random or out of character. I've just been all over the place. A counselor suggested it may be Borderline Personality Disorder, I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to get assessed for BPD? I had a home visit by the North Staffs NHS team today which I really hoped would be useful but after waiting for 2 months for an assessment it proved to be a complete waste of time with nothing useful said, just a 'nice meeting you' and that's all I get. So I'm on my own.

Hello ladies and especially gentleman! I'm Tim. I just recently came across the site, and I've got plenty to talk about. I've suffered from depression and anxiety (with occasional panic attacks) on and off for the last 15 years or so. Wow! That's half my life. In addition, I suffer from chronic pain, partially from a herniated disk in my L5 vertebra and probably one of them in my neck as well. I suffer from cough syncope, which basically means that coughing a lot can cause a vasovagal response which causes me to faint. The fact that I'm way overweight doesn't help matters much. There are also some issues that have not yet being diagnosed, but at the time of this post, I am going to be having nerve tests in my left arm as well as my face. My current meds are Xanax .5 mg, Norco 7.5/325 (hydrocodone/acetaminophen), Ultram 50 mg, Oxybutanin 5 mg (urinary urgency), Buspar 5 mg, Zoloft 50 mg, Neurontin 300 mg (for nerve pain), Zanaflex 2 mg, and Albuterol Inhaler. I am working on my issues and hope to one day be able to rejoin the workforce. Ultimately, I prefer to be my own boss. Before I can get there, I am going to need to work with my therapist some more and have bariatric surgery. Other surgeries may follow, and there's definitely some physical therapy in my future as well. I firmly believe that I can overcome most of my health problems, and I am hopeful that I can get my life and health on a good track. I look forward to getting to know everyone here. We all have our struggles, and I am not only here for support but to support others as well.