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Found 13 results

  1. Greetings everyone, I had honestly forgotten about my mood disorder. I have gone for years without any major episodes. Over the summer I had renewed my eyeglasses/contact prescription from a clinic affiliated with my childhood. In my file they had mailed me, it stated a diagnose of bipolar. Yeah right, had taken medication in my younger years for both depression and adhd. I experienced extreme reactions to both. Whatever. Long time ago anyways. I'm just a dude with lots of empathy, my motto is care more. Never looked back. Then... yah know, 'till now. Heh...
  2. So, I've noticed, as my symptoms are starting to return, that I don't have the typical bipolar episodes. Even for rapid cycling. I have psychosis all the time, mostly paranoid delusions, a couple delusions of grandeur, general paranoia, and possibly mild hallucinations (seeing shadows,but that could just be common tricks of the eye that I put more meaning into because of my delusions.) My mood tended to be elevated more than depressed, and even when I self harmed it would usually be because I was overly anxious, or frustrated/angry, and restless that it was a way for me to calm mysel
  3. I just joined CB and I didn't really want to make a new thread to whine about myself but I guess I feel a bit scared out here on my own. I'm currently trying to complete my last semester of college, after already having to repeat a year. I'm only taking 1 class, but it's a constant struggle. I can't attend class and I got behind from the start and have yet to fully catch up. I was just diagnosed last year with BPNOS--BP1, with rapid cycling. I was on Lamictal for a bit fall/winter of 2013, but my dad lost his job so there went my insurance, and I just got it back this semester. Back then
  4. Today, in a moment of helplessness and near rage—triggered by a stupid, insignificant incident—I told my brother to please offer any kind of help. He mumbled a response, something along the lines of, if he helps me I'll just find some reason to criticize him, at which point my vision blurred and I found myself saying, "I swear to God, I will kill myself." Now I feel like shit for saying such a thing. In that moment some part of me must have meant it, but it still feels a lot like manipulating someone just to get what I want. I realize I only ever threaten people that way when I feel in
  5. Hiya, I've been diagnosed mixed affective disorder, and can't find much out online about it. My pdoc is one who, while brilliant, likes to skirt over diagnoses etc and just concentrate on how I'm feeling. All I know is it's definitely "bipolar" and not a "bipolar-like" illness. A bit about what led to this diagnosis: I've struggled since the age of 12-13 with massive mood swings, but not like months of mania/depression- more like - any little thing could send me into a rage, or I could be feeling on top of the world, then flip into crying. I always knew something wasn't right but never
  6. *image from the website below.. i do not own it nor did i create the chart/graph* http://blog.23andme.com/23andme-research/what-patients-say-works-for-bipolar-disorder/ What would you add to this as most helpful and least helpful? or what do you already see on it that you agree with? A combination of meds, therapy and small stuff can help someone a lot.
  7. I am not new at this, but I feel like a fool. I still cannot tell when an episode is coming on and that leaves me in a pretty dangerous place. My cycles are close together, even on medication. I have episodes of dysphoric mania that take me out of reality. Once I am there I cannot think to take any medication or call my doctor. I am just removed from reality completely. So far there has been someone to come along, but they didn't give me my medication, they just put me in the hospital. Now I live alone and I fear an episode that will put me in a suicidal state, with no one to come along
  8. I'm in a mixed state, and my depression the past three or so days has been really bad but lately I've been wanting to do some crazy fucked up shit cause I'm feeling apathetic and suicidal I guess? Like, eh fuck it. That sort of mood. The things I've been thinking about include drug use, self harm, ruining my relationships by being a bitch, stealing things, not going to work, unsafe sex with strangers, extreme out of character sort of things really. I mean, to put in perspective how crazy that is- I've never used illegal or recreational drugs and I've never stolen, and I've only ever
  9. I am thinking that i should go into inpatient care...I'm in the midst of a mixed episode and it keeps getting worse. How long were you in the hospital before you were stabilized on meds and released? Thanx for reading and hopefully answering.
  10. Hi everyone, yes, I'm new and my story is a long one - as I suppose is the case with most people here - and I won't tell all of it, not for now anyway. I know I've been mentally ill all my life. Always the odd one out. Past and current issues include anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression, PTSD, Bipolar 2, alcoholism. Current diagnosis is Bipolar 2, so I'm more on the depressive side of Bipolar. Right now I am going through menopause and that does NOT help with my mental illness ... I'm from Germany, live in the USA since 1991. I'm married and my kids are 20 and 17 years old. I live
  11. Ok so I took my first 75mg dose of venlafaxine yesterday after being on 37.5mg for a week. I took it at 6:30 pm, went to bed at 10:00 pm and woke up at 12:42 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I started to feel a little euphoric but decided to try to get more sleep and laid down for 20 min. Now my aweful depression thoughts are back but I still feel full of energy and a little irritable. My speech and thoughts are goin a mile a min. To put it simply I'm having a mixed episode. Here's the problem, I called my pdoc's office and he's out of town and the person covering for him is swamped.
  12. Hi, I kind of feel like a whiny bitch asking this, but I have been looking all over the internet, and can't find an answer that "satisfies" me, because it isn't really from the most reliable source. I should preface this by saying I am in the midst of a bad mixed episode, the worst I have had for many years. Also, I am usually considered BP II, so theoretically psychosis is not a symptom. My official diagnosis is BP NOS, but it looks like that will change when the DSM 5 comes out, and I will be BP II "again." Okay, if you have auditory hallucinations during a mixed episode, are you autom
  13. Well I was initially diagnosed schizo-affective, bipolar type. But it's been one year and five months since my first ever episode and I've not had a manic episode since then. I am on 10mg Abilify only. Do you think my bipolar diagnosis is incorrect then? 10mg can't be enough to cover bipolar symptoms, right? Sorry I know I've been questioning my diagnosis lately and I have asked for a second opinion but it's going to take ages to get one.
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