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I need help.im 15 and my birthday is in January.I have a medical Condition that effects my skin and it just cleared up and is getting so much better so I decided to go to a party with my aunt, my 3 cousins and Mum. My mum leaves early so I stay with my aunt and cousin. I had a great time it was my first party in like 2 years I felt like a normal teenager again. So that night everything was fine until the next morning. I decided that maybe I should stay there for one more night because we were still having fun and chilling but my mum didn’t like that. My mum is on medication for her emotions , you can never tell what she is going to do her emotions can switch in a second. Okay back to the story. So I try some of my cousins cream for my face because I don’t have mine and my mum said she wouldn’t bring it to me. My face went all red but I knew how to handle it but we still phoned my mum to ask her to bring up my cream that is medicated. So she brought it up to my aunts and just started shouting at me and wouldn’t stop going on and on at me. I almost felt like crying. As she was about to leave I told her I would phone her later but she told me not to bother and walked out.So when she went home my family was shocked at how angry she was. I let my frustrations out to my family and told them things about my Mum. (Just to let you know I am very depressed and go to a therapist but my Mum doesn’t like me to talk about her to my therapist so I don’t because she’s scary). Me and my cousin were watching a movie after being on our phones for a while so I sat my phone on charge and put it on silent so it wouldn’t disrupt us. The movie is a bout half way through and my mum phones my eldest cousins phone. She gets really mad and asks why I didn’t answer and I told her why but she sounded furious. After the phone call I check my phone and I only had two missed calls surely my mum can’t get mad at that and it’s not like I’m out somewhere dangerous I’m just with my cousins. I didn’t phone her back that night because she told me earlier when she visited not to phone her. Then I got a text saying what time she would pick me up at in the morning. Me and my cousins went to sleep but I kept my phone next to me so I would hear the alarm as I am a very heavy sleeper. So I got up the next day when my alarm went of and put my phone on charge while I got changed in a different room. After I got changed my aunt handed me the phone oh was my mum asking why I didn’t answer my phone so once again I tried to explain but she just got mad and hung up. I found this weird because my mum always moans that I never go out and I’m always in the house so I didn’t understand her paranoia of me being at my aunts. My mum shouted at me as soon as I got on the car. Once we got to the house she started screaming calling me a disappointment and many other hurtful things. I went to my room to get changed and cried a lot bit my mum made me sit in the living room with her. I was still a mess at this point. I couldn’t stop crying. She kept telling me to shut up and stop crying getting really angry. She stared saying things like you’ve embarrassed me and are a disappointment. It was very hurtful. I done nothing bad enough to get this treatment. I kept on saying I was sorry and I won’t do it again. She got angry and told me I’m not staying over at anyone’s again. She was acting like I was a criminal. She was saying things like if I want to act grown up then I can do everything for my self from not on and how she’s giving up on me. This really got to me I’m at the hospital a lot and I am also at therapy for depression and other things. She also kept on mentioning on how she’s my mother other things like that. I’ve tried to apologise loads but not once has she ever took my apologies into consideration. She honestly scares me so much. She always gets mad really easily and I’m always on edge. She has never physically abused me but mentally im almost dead. I’m now still crying and I am having really bad thoughts about how to let the pain out and that’s different to me because I’ve never thought this deeply about something like that before, I’ve never acctually wanted to do damage like this to myself before. I feel so ashamed. I really hate myself right now.What should I do?
I wrote more than I meant to. There's a summary at the bottom. Lovely forum, by the way. It's been so difficult to find a place like this that's active. I'm not sure if anyone else has dealt with the same thing, but my mother has had periodic episodes throughout her life. I live alone with her, so whenever she has these episodes it's basically just me trying to cope with her delusions. Generally she's paranoid; she'll think people have hypnotized her, poisoned her food, or are trying to set her up to fail at work -- that sort of thing. When I was younger it was always terrifying because I didn't understand what was going on, and I thought her delusional thinking was real. As I got older, her seemingly random bouts of psychosis more or less ruined my life, and hers. Every time she gets a stable job for a few years, for instance, she'll experience another break from reality and lose it at work, and then she'll lose her job and end up institutionalized for a while. Meanwhile I'm living alone trying to cover rent costs so she has a home to come back to after her hospital stay, which wipes out my savings completely. Then when she's sane again, she has to find another job, and -- it's like we have to rebuild our lives every single time. Most people experience some semblance of stability in their lives, but I've never really had this. Every few years this shit just keeps happening. The last time was two years ago, and after her institutionalization her doctor prescribed abilify. That's been working, and she's even been able to cut down on it slowly, with her doctor's help. But now her symptoms are reappearing. She has breast cancer, so she's been doing rounds of chemotherapy, and so far that's actually been going ... pretty well, as far as chemo goes. Last week, though, she experienced diarrhea, and now she's afraid her co-workers despise her, and she's staring off into space for long periods of time again, and she can't sleep because she's too busy worrying about work, of all things. I've talked to her about her worries, gone through them with her and basically let her talk for hours to let it all out, but she still only got a couple of hours of sleep. That night, I asked her if she'd been taking her abilify, and she admitted that she'd forgotten to take it, and hadn't been taking it for a couple of weeks. This brings me to my first question, I guess. By the way, thank you if you stuck around through all this. I've had no one to discuss this with, ever, so it's been a long time coming. I've done some reading about abilify withdrawal symptoms, and hers seem to fit the bill perfectly (a return of previous symptoms, the diarrhea, etc.). We have a few of her pills left, so I got her to start taking them again, but I don't know what to do once we run out. She seems fairly lucid this time around (as opposed to other times, where she seemed catatonic, and I couldn't even get her to eat) so I want to act fast before things get worse. Could anyone with experience in managing abilify/quitting it cold turkey please let me know how long, or how many dosages, it took for their symptoms to disappear again? She had been using it for two years before she suddenly stopped taking them for a couple of weeks. Additionally, she said she would schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist this week, but ... I really don't believe she'll do it, which is troublesome since she's almost out of medication. How do I deal with this? I realize this sounds horrible, but I'm just so tired; her psychosis has completely shaped my life for the worse. Every two to three years it's the same shit. Then she'll get medication, and she'll get it to a workable level (that is, the dose was small enough to work without causing the typical negative side effects), and then -- whoops! She'll forget to take it and the whole thing will start all over again. I'm tired. I wish I had someone else to handle this for me, just once. Sorry. TLDR: Mom was on abilify for two years, went off it cold turkey for two weeks, and now her symptoms are back. If she returns to taking her prescribed amounts, should I expect her symptoms to go away again? And if you've had experience quitting abilify cold turkey, only to return to it again later, how long did it take for your symptoms to go away again?
Help ... My son is mentally ill, (20yrs old) I still take care of him... he has all kinds of diagnosis , but because its NOT me , I cant get anyone to talk to me and try to help me understand....or at least not totally snap because I have dealt with this rollercoaster for so long.... Now keep in mind I have PTSD, and health related depression and a few other little quirks, that his going completely off the deep end irritates, but I can get noone to talk to me, and tell me what Im doing is right wrong hurtful helpful.... He woke me up at 430 this morning to have one of his intermittent explosive temper moments, but I can find NOONE to talk to... Please direct me somewhere~!