Search the Community

This is something I’m thinking about a lot lately. People without a mental illness don’t understand the costs we have: broken relationships, lost jobs, and poor spending episodes (putting it mildly). Add in all the costs of meds, doctor visits, therapy appointments - I didn’t choose this, but it is what it is. Staying on meds, for me, has created some stability after years without any. But now I face homelessness in a couple days unless a miracle occurs. I’m pissed off at myself for HAVING this, although I can’t control that I do. I’ve been depressed for quite a while, but still able to get to work. Over a year ago, when first diagnosed, I was off a few months, a total wreck, and am still crawling out from the financial fallout. Last month the pdoc added a new med. Within a week, I was hearing voices (not something I do) and was terribly depressed and had suicidal ideation. I quit the med and felt better within a week. During that time I took two days off work and hibernated, feeling hopeless and majorly depressed the first day. The next day I went to the pdoc and told her the effects of the new med I’d stopped. I went because my work demands a dr note to return to work. Telling her I felt like crap but have to work because I’m alone and have no back-up for money, I needed the note. She refused and said I’d get no note until I went through IOP. I went and after week 3 I told a dr there I’m ok and can’t continue because I must work. Got the note, no problem. They said they wanted me to stay off at least 2 more weeks, maybe more, but gave me the release. *sigh* Been back at work a couple wks and doing pretty well. The first of the month came and I had no way to pay my rent. A small disability pymt was expected but hadn’t arrived (not enough for rent anyway). The way our pay works, and since I was gone 3 wks, no pay for me until the end of the month. Yesterday I came home to a 3 day notice on my door. The property management is a big corporation and not willing to even give a few days and see from my dr release I’ve been out, doctor’s orders. I’ve asked a couple of people but they can’t help. I’m sad that I’ve failed. Loathing myself and my illness at all right now, I’m just hit in the face how much having this sucks. The costs go way beyond buying something one doesn’t need. Even when doing things the way they’re supposed to be done, it still can bite ya in the butt. Tired. Exhausted. Fed up. Rant over.

some background. I grew up poor and most of my memories are from the housing crash of 2008. So i grew up eating meager meals in a crappy neighborhood and wearing clothes until they wore out. After the housing crisis and i was in middleschool my parents got divorced and i lived with my mom. We were even more poor, so much so that we couldnt pay utilities sometimes. My dad was so poor that he was homeless for a year and lived with a friend for another year before he got a duplex apartment. Now my mom is married to a rich man with a rich mom and a rich family and im living in a nice middle class house with a middle class zip code. so why do i feel so guilty whenever i get something from my mom or when she buys me things i need? I went school clothes shopping yesterday and i was filled with gut wrenching guilt every time i would look at the prices for my clothes. when my mom said she spent 400 dollars in all for me and my siblings it made me feel even worse. nothing was really expensive by any means but any dollar spent on me makes me feel like im terrible and vain and shouldnt need anything. Even though thats not true. Ive been walking around with one pair of jeans and sneakers with holes in them because im too scared to ask for new ones. it really sucks because my parents are really understanding and great. dose anyone else who grew up poor feel this way? just asking to make sure im not crazy//

I just spent a ridiculous amount of money in a month. pretty much all on books and comics. I've never donet hat before. never. I was always "the cheap kid". my brother would be taking limosines to parties and I'd be going to maybe 1 movie a month. books. that's what I spent litearlly hundreds on this month. books. I lost the one thing I ahd. I feel like a demon, a parasite. especially since I had an argument with my mom over job stuff. I just started loking for a part time job again, but I don't want her to think everything esle I said that day didn't count. so I can't ask for any more moeny. I can't. I can't let them know after rent is taken out, I'll have $10 left. I have some cheques I can cash, but that'll take a few days to go thru. feeling suicidal. feeling worthless. I just wanted to efel happy. I wanted to read about people like me. I wanted to escape. and be seen. I just. I never thought this would happen what the hell is wrong with me fiancee says a friend of hers with depression did this. is it possible this is somehting to do with that?

Just got my approval letter for the Takeda Pharmaceutical's Patient Assistance Program! They will supply my Brintellix through the end of the year. The cost of B was a big issue for me as to whether I'd be able to continue on the medication or if down the I'd have to stop it for financial reasons, so this is a big relief to me. If you find that Brintellix is working for you and cost is a prohibiting factor, here's the link to their U.S. patient assistance program (Help at Hand) where you can determine if you qualify and download the application: http://www.takeda.us/responsibility/patient_assistance_program.aspx If you're not in the U.S., they may have a similar program in your region. If you go to the website and click on the Worldwide link, select your region, then click on the official website link for that region. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to screw the company (I certainly don't want them to go bellyup), nor am I suggesting everyone take advantage of this, but if cost plays as big a role as it does for me in whether you can continue on B or not, I suggest looking into this.