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I don't know if I should class this symptom; is it a facet of bipolar disorder, or just ingrained negative thinking patterns, or an enduring part of my personality? I am paranoid of people I work with. Sounds silly, and usually perfectly sane people have trust issues around people they work with because of backstabbing, gossip, office politics etc. etc. I guess what I found different is that it seemed to be because of my mood. A few days before my period I was hyped up and mildly agitated. I was training new people who were just lowering the bar of expectation for me. Basically they were insubordinate, seemed to not trust anything I told them, walked away several times in the middle of me training them, asked other coworkers the same questions they asked me (to which they gave them the same answer), and became very defensive when I told them to pay attention. They made some comment about how they studied psychology and understand people. I did not like training them because they were doing poorly, and not grasping anything, and then trying to blame me for their screw ups. Another trainee had this inability to shut-up, and listen. He got reamed out a few times by a couple of coworkers for major infractions. Instead of not doing said behavior repeatedly, he blamed someone for calling him out on it. The other screw up trainee started bashing on this coworker, calling them a snitch and a rat. The trainee had never even met this coworker. I was pissed. I decided to be a rat and told my supervisor. I spoke with the other coworker who was bashed on that if they wanted to call anyone a rat they can come to me. I was kind of feeling ramped up at this point, plus it was a day before my period. Not to mention I am on a diet and trying to cut back on coffee. My period hit and I calmed down a little; but then I got super agitated after the person I trained showed up at work after being told they were getting fired. I vented to my supervisor. And as expected they screwed up so royally, they are now under investigation by the client, at the very least. I started feeling down. I started thinking I was going to get fired for saying something and about the bullying and shit behavior. I kept my professional demeanor on but on the inside I felt like everything was my fault. I started thinking in a depressive way where everything was empty and I was just felt really down with paranoia. Some really minor non-eventful things happened and I felt like people were conspiring to fire me. A coworker who I barely knew didn't say hi to me, and then I thought they hated me and were trying to get me fired. By Wednesday I was at the doctors office and was advised to go down 50mg, from 300mg to 250mg of Lyrica. My other med is Zoloft 100mg. I am feeling better. I just rested as much as possible on Wednesday, and I was in a much better mood by Thursday. I am new to accepting my Bipolar II diagnosis. I was advised to add abilify to the mix but I had tried that drug before and reacted with extreme anxiety and agitation (akithesia). After a brief psychiatric assessment with a really good doctor I was also advised to try Latuda, or Lamotrigine to my cocktail. I am not sure of either and I am worried I'll be activated, or something will just go wrong in my adjustment to the new meds that will put me out of work, and just render me useless. My other worry is my bipolar II diagnosis might be off, but I think it might be accurate. To remedy the situation I asked my doctor to sign me up with the psychiatrist as my regular pdoc. He is very good but I might have to wait another year or so. They also put me on a waitlist for a med assessment at the local mental hospital to help in the interim. I do feel I have some good coping skills in place that are in tune when things are changing for me. I have a pretty decent support network too. I just don't know what to make of my thinking patterns and negativity. It seems so ingrained I am not sure if it is just me or bipolar disorder. Edit: Considering new meds. Not sure where to go in terms of what to add/ remove. Will keep lamotrigine and latuda in mind. Depakote was mentioned as well. Is abilify calming at higher doses? I took a low dose once and found myself feeling so anxious on it. Absolutely could not sleep.