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Hello all! I have been diagnosed with "Mood disorder-unspecified" as well as "moderate depression"...so, not a lot to go on. I also suspect that I suffer from Quiet BPD, and/or some form of cyclothymia. I went on Lamictal to combat my anger/agitation/rage explosions, as well as SSRI-resistant depression. I was on 25mg for 2 weeks, and immediately felt a difference. I had energy and hope. When situations would come up that usually would throw me into either a rage or crying fit, I was able to analyze the situation better, and the emotions would swell, and then eventually pass. I felt a lot better, and thought that an increased dose (as ordered by my PDOC) would bring even greater results. I increased to 50mg yesterday, and to put it simply, I feel like total crap. I have a headache, intense bloating and gas, I feel hungover, and suddenly have depression and zero motivation. I feel like I took a giant step backwards. Any hope I had of feeling better has been dashed. I feel like I can barely handle my 4-year old son, let alone just be awake and functioning. Has anyone heard of Lamictal/mood stabilizers working at a low dose? I know that the therapeutic dose is near 100mg or so, but I can't imagine increasing it if I'm going to keep feeling like this. Does it get better, or should I talk to my PDOC about staying at 25mg? Thanks. I just want to feel hope about this again.

My daughter has a dysruptive mood dysregulation disorder and has taken Zoloft, Abilfy, Latuda, Geodon, Lamictal, clonidine, concerta, Klonopin and probably others before turning to Lithium. She has crazy mood swings and is very angry and sad most of the time. She has had trouble sleeping since she was 4. At night, before bed, she will get hyper and giddy. Trazodone has helped this... Anyway, she started taking Lithium 3 weeks ago and is almost therapeutic on it .08 & her doc wants her at 1.0-1.2. My question is, how long once she's therapeutic will it take to help calm her rage/sadness. She is in DBT and her latest psychologist just told us that in 30 years of practice, she's never NOT been able to help a patient, but my daughter- a 12 year old girl who has been through a great IOP and left basically the same as she was when she was admitted, is a puzzle. We have consulted with top people at Stanford & UCSF. Everyone is stumped and at ther age, she has been through so much. Any one have any guidance about lithium or help with anything else I've mentioned? She wakes up screaming "I hate my life!" She pushes friends away with neediness or inappropriate behavior... will Lithium help? When?

I notice a lot of people around here with SZA dxes, and I know of some people here with BP1 dxes with psychosis outside of mood episodes, so I am wondering how common is it for you to have started out with what appeared to be an ordinary mood disorder, with psychosis only occurring within mood episodes, but where the psychotic symptoms eventually gained independence from the mood symptoms, so that they now can occur at any time? Bonus points if one has also developed negative symptoms and/or cognitive symptoms separate from depression after having originally developed a mood disorder. (That is what seems to have happened with me; my early psychotic symptoms were all tied to mania, but now seem to be completely independent of mood, and I now seem to have negative symptoms in any mood, when avolition for me was originally tied specifically to depression.)

My psychologist and I have been talking and she was thinking I was borderline this whole time but after charting my major moods for the past couple of years it's evident that I have periods of hypo mania and low depressions. Could I be both? I go back and see her in a couple of weeks and I see my pdoc next month as well. Funnily enough I'm taking an abnormal psychology class right now, we had to read memoirs for extra credit assignments. I read the Buddha and the borderline and the unquiet mind . I see many characteristics of myself in both of these books. Currently my diagnosis is mood disorder nos. that's because my doctors hadn't looked at the overall moods for the past two years. I'm on geodon, buspar, trazadone, and Effexor. Been on several others(seroquel, Wellbutrin, Ativan, Prozac ...others that I can't remember ) just curious if anyone has heard of or,now if anyone that has both? P.s. I know labels aren't the important part. But I would like to know what is going on within myself. That way I can discuss frankly with my doctors.

Recently I changed my diet drastically to around 800 calories in hopes to lose weight rather quickly. I know this isn't what people suggest I do - but I'm doing it anyway. I think this has happened in the past but I never noticed it until now... I think changing my diet so abruptly sends me into mania/hypomania. I have been stable for a couple weeks now and as soon as I changed my diet my sleep changed, my energy changed, many characteristics that suggest I'm headed toward mania are present. Has anyone else noticed abrupt changes in diet to induce mood shifts? I think as I am now medicated and I haven't in the past, the mania/hypomania is kept at bay. But still, I notice the symptoms.

Found this documentary on bipolar. I really relate to a lot of this. I'm still coming to terms with having the diagnosis and this has helped me. Because I relate so much it starts to make sense. If you've watched it, what was your opinion?

Sarcasm. My diagnosis as it now stands is bipolar 2. I'm not really sure anymore, but last night I experienced this intense "episode" and I'm left wondering what the HELL that was. I'm just going to post the description I wrote in my blog later that night. I have all the control yet none at all. Sometimes every moment is torment. Sometimes I am not real. I struggle opening a bottle of Ativan and fight with myself over if I should take one pill or the whole bottle. I writhe in mental pain and rip my hair and try to crush my head between my hands. I curl into a ball on the floor only to immediately pull at parts of my body as if I’m trying to rip them apart. I open the window for air and contemplate flying. None of this is real. I am not real. I sob and shake and wonder how the floor isn’t collapsing. Those times, it isn’t worth it. I pray to a god I’ve never known to free me. I think about the hospital. I think about people who can help me but stop because they can’t. There are voices in my head that I can’t hear, I just feel them. There are too many stuffed into one mind and they are angry. They are always angry. I am not real. Nothing is real. I have all the control yet none at all. Truth is relative. Reality is relative. How do I know what the fuck is true? What the fuck is real? Also…what the fuck is wrong with me?! I have all the control yet none at all. This all happened after a day of feeling AMAZING. Just a little while before it happened, I took a stand and was set on the proposition that I have no mental health disorder, I'm fine, and I'm going to stop taking my meds because I'm just being dramatic. Now, I have bad days, bad nights, bad fleeting hours, moments, etc., but this was the most excruciating combination of crazy and I want it to not exist in my life, ever. Any input?