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Found 12 results

  1. Hey there! I've been having a very difficult week. I've been on lexapro and klonopin for depression and anxiety for 3 years and the lexapro has plateaued in the last year or so, so my pdoc decided to put me on Abilify about a week ago and it has SUCKED. I'm not feeling any of the positive effects of the meds yet, which I understand because sometimes it takes a while. BUT i have been feeling a whole bunch of negatives. Theres a general brain slowness, like forming sentences and thoughts takes much longer than usual, like if my train of thought were a real train, there is now a huge parachute on the back slowing it down. The WORST side effect so far has been the derealization. I'm familiar with it as it is a side effect of my anxiety. I can't tell if it is a direct effect of the abilify or if the meds are causing more anxiety which is then causing derealization. The thing is, I haven't been feeling much more anxious than usual recently. It's like the derealization comes over me first and then the anxiety follows. Has anyone experienced this on Abilify? If so, did it go away eventually? Did you switch meds? Nothing seems real and I'm getting very very tired of it.
  2. My GP is highly skeptical about this as a thing, but I wanted to ask anyway. Someone here may well be able to advise me. When I was younger I couldn't have food colourings, sweeteners and artificial additives. This is spanning from literally weeks after I was born when I was given bright pink medicine to the age of about fifteen. All sorts of sweets and pop, and things like certain kinds of cheese and crap. It went like this: Toddler: Screaming and crying and not sleeping Small kid: Inability to focus, sit still or obey rules before eventually getting tired and sleeping for about a day. Older kid: Hyperactivity, hysterical laughing, absolutely bouncing off the walls before crashing into hysterical crying and temper. Teenager: Legal high. My friends used to bring me Skittles and Coke (the worst offenders) just to watch me get off my head. Didn't affect the occasional hallucinations I started getting as a teen, but it did make my imagination go wild. Crash was horrible, often SI'd on the way down. It was assumed I grew out of them, and could have Coke without exploding, but tended to avoid anyway. Still got a bit buzzed if I had a lot, but I pegged that to sugar rush, as I have a pretty low sugar diet. So, here we are today, wondering if artificial additives can cause mood disorder in adults. I'm 23 now and having to check ingredients on everything. :| On the occurrences where I've had severe hallucinations, dissociation and on a few occasions, complete personality change (my pdoc has suggested the way it is sounds DID. More exam needed.), there's been mass amounts of red and yellow colourings involved. Of course, there's also usually been stress and a reasonable amount of time alcohol (another thing I've cut out, sigh.) around too, so it's speculation. Anyone have stories to share on additives?
  3. I have been working with my mental health clinic with depot injections of my risperdal and Testosterone and an injection of naltrexlone. I have been on these meds for a year now and am actually stable except for thoughts of self harm. I want to start self injecting to build up more T in my system. I also have some small impulses to inject bleach, paint thinner, gas and other stuff with the syringes the pharmacy would provide. I really want to self regulate my T because I feel like I am not in control of anything. I used to skip meds a lot and can't do that either and to be honest I don't like being stable. I am bored even though I know this is going to allow me to date, perhaps marry, travel, work and what not. I also have urges to self harm when I feel empty, bored and alone. I am also trying to control my drinking and I know I need the meds to be injected and am doing well because they are. But the desire to inject more T to feel powerful and strong and horny and they added benefit to inject to self harm ( though in small amounts ) has to deal with control and some sort of substance abuse. Transguys any thoughts?
  4. I'm thinking of talking to my pdoc about trying lithium for chronic suicidal thinking as im doing therapy for it but still get lots of suicidal thoughts each day, The seroquel i'm taking is also to stabilise my mood which is has sorta done but I still get pretty bad mood swings so it might help that too as its a mood stabilizer, but the main reason I'm thinking is for suicidal thinking. I've just found a seroquel dosage I'd like to remain on so we wont be adjusting the seroquel which might help if we're gonna add a new med in, what experience has anyone got with lithium and suicidal thoughts? Also might help with depression sorry if i dont make any sense, im kinda in a weird state of mind, hopefully that makes enough sense
  5. I was on Prednisone for over 20 years. First time about 15-20mgs a day for 9 years. With occasional spikes. Then over a final few months tapered off down to nothing, and was off of it for for 6 weeks. Surprised my doctor, who did not think I could do it. Was on occasional steroid inhalers. Got sick! Right back on it again. 15-25mgs, sometimes more per day, for 7 years. Many times in hospital with increased spike dosage. Then over a final few months tapered off down to nothing, and was off of it for 5 months. Was on occasional steroid inhalers. Thought I was finally off of it. Got sick again. Right back on prednisone again. 20-35 mgs a day. In hospital, on and off. Had to take more for 2 years and was spiking towards the end. Had a health crisis and pyschotic break - though never recognized as such. Slowly, with a new doctor, over the next four years, tapered down to 5 mgs every other day. On the fifth year, I finally got off prednisone as a maintenance drug. Surpised my doctor who wanted to keep me on 5 mgs every other day, as I had been on it so long, he was initially leery of taking me off completely. Since then, it has been thirteen years since I was on it. I still have ferocious panic attacks and behaviors. Though increasing time periods between them. I do have triggers from my past, and that is a factor, apart from prednisone. Can prednisone cause irreversible mood damage? My intellect seems to be okay. I was quite panickly before prednisone, but I was put on it during my early teens. Can it cause permanent mood problems, even years after coming off. I wonder if it prevented my mood control from developing during adolescence?
  6. Hi all - Started Depakote about 4 weeks ago. First 2-3 weeks were magical. It calmed my anxiety and dysphoric mood down incredibly. It felt like a magic bullet. The stomach side effects sucked at first, but I adjusted quickly. Fast forward to this week, and I feel incredibly depressed. It came out of nowhere. I had been doing fine on Depakote, Wellbutrin, and Intuniv for almost a month, and then got smacked in the face with depression. True anhedonic, apathetic, tearful, miserable, flat affect depression. I got permission to swap Wellbutrin (which I'd been on for the duration of this Depakote trial) for Lexapro, my old SSRI. Is an SSRI enough to control this? Will I need to hop off Depakote? I've heard its not truly meant for maintenance therapy, but I figured what works in the beginning should surely continue to keep working over a longer span of time. Perhaps I'm wrong. I was so happy to have gotten off Seroquel XR...Depakote definitely controls my agitation better. I just hate that I yet again have to go back to my pdoc with another med failure after telling her things were going so well.
  7. Has anyone been on invega. I heard it's great for schizoaffective. I wanted to also know exactly what moods does it work with? depression or mania, or both?
  8. Many people don't realize that many times mental heath professionals can have a difficult time diagnosing patients because their symptoms can "mimic" each disorder (bipolar disorder and ocd). I thought this was quite strange to read at first but know that I think of it my grandmother (she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder) showed many symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder. She never had compulsions, only obsessions. So I have this theory and I want to hear others responses to this subject as well... perhaps bipolar individuals create a kind of obsessive personality in order to create a sort of homeostasis of ones inner mind? Maybe the repetitive actions help create a more balanced mood because of the outward actions. I'm not sure...just thinking. Any thoughts regarding Bipolar and OCD???
  9. Mood Stabilizers are a necessary part of many bipolar people's lives. They help us function better in a society. BUT THEY MAKE US SLOW. Or at least me. When I'm not medicated I notice every little detail in day to day life but on these meds I feel like things "slip" past me. I am pretty forgetful as well. Does anyone else have these issues? I am in college. I'm a have double majors and a minor and I'm worried that these meds are going to screw with my performance.
  10. Hello, So let me go through some stuff that has been effecting me for a very long time. For the longest time, when I was going through my teens, I had very hard times connecting with women. The first time I ever tried to have sex I didn't get hard and I never understood why. I thought maybe I was too nervous or something. It was, and is to this day, very confusing to me because I am sexually attracted to women, however I was never able to emotionally connect with any of them. I was always scared to have sex, and still am scared to have sex these days to some extent, mainly because I am insecure these days. I am 27 years old now, and for the last 10 years or so I have been an emotional wreck. I was relatively happy as a child, although when highschool hit I have always been looking at how the world views me or sees me, and I try to make adjustments on how the world sees me on the fly and apply a positive reaction to whoever I am talking to by "manually" changing my personality. I am now worried that I may be gay. It's more of a release really. I believe that i crave male attention and that I need approval from them - perhaps it's because my father never gave it to me or perhaps its because my parents divorced, perhaps its because my mom never seemed to be there for me in the way I wanted her to when I was young - who knows what the reason is - but I just feel warmer, emotionally around men. The bottom line is that I have never been able to emotionally make a bond with a woman. And this has been weighing heavy on my mind for the longest time and to my knowledge driving me insane. The problem with the whole gay thing is that I do not think I am sexually attracted to men in the way that I am with women, that is i do not crave sex with men at all, and I also do not want to be gay - not that I have anything against gay people its just that , well I mean my whole life I went through thinking I am straight: why all the sudden would I be gay? Gay men have come on to me and seem to think I am gay. I think i am just dealing with a lot of suppression Anyways all this madness causes me to go on crazy binge drinking episodes - I'm talking super drunk, to the point where as I am just a walking zombie. My thought processes are never streamlined, and I literally jump from thought to thought second after second - I can never zone in and get anything done. I also think that I have weird control issues, where i need to be in control of things. Sometimes my thought patterns and processes affect me so much that my brain and head start to hurt. I am extremely insecure - i think my whole problem may have derived from my extreme fear of failure and rejection. I am always worried about whether other people like me or not - and afraid of hurting my image so much that I actually hurt it by not doing what i want to do. I have this really big weirdo image of myself - like I am a weirdo, a perv, a control freak, an asshole, a user, a sociopath - the list could go on. It's like i just want someone to go into my brain and rewire my head. I cannot explain the bad feelings that I have gone through in the last 10 years - especially these last 4-5 years. anyone have any thoughts? What could be wrong
  11. Hello, so I'm looking for some advice on medication. To start I've been on most every medication a Dr. can prescribe. Currently I take 40mg of Valium a day (Just switched from Klonopin), 30mg of Dexedrine a day, and 900mg of Neurontin. Doxepin is prescribed to me for Insomnia but doesn't do anything. My issue is I have horrible depression, but I can NOT take an antidepressant. I turn into a psychopath..well more of one lol. I've tried mostly all of the anti-depressants and they all screw me over. Does anyone know of any other medication that can help with Depression but is not an SSRI/SNRI/Trycilic or antidepressant? I've been on: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Remeron, Depakote, Lithium, Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, Abilify, BuSpar, Sonata, Klonopin, Adderal, Adderall XR, Concerta, Vyvanse, Atarax, Trazodone, Clonidine, Trileptal...and more. Anyways, If anyone has any suggestions on medication that could help my Depression. It is mostly caused by boredom, feeling like a loser because I have too much anxiety to do anything and I'm on SSI, I seem to find negativity in everything, my mood is all over the place which damages friendships and stuff, and in general have a constant feeling of hating life. PLEASE HELP!
  12. Right then this is my first post about my personal issues so I'm not entirely sure where to start but I'll do my best to sum things up. I may ramble quite a bit... I am currently not sure what to do with myself, every route I've taken has either dissapointed me or completely ignored me. I have had mental health issues from a very young age (6 or 7) ,noticeable symptoms of an anxiety disorder manifested at around this age and as I got closer to puberty these symptoms became more and more severe. Accompanying these symptoms at the beginning of my teens was the onset of Depression. Up until the age of 15 I was able to function in an inhibited capacity attending school half the time and rarely leaving my house due to depression and low energy. During these years (I am currently 18) I have seen multiple psychologists, psychiatrists and medical professionals. I have spoken about my issues, tried countless types of medication, had blood tests, ultrasounds, ekg's and sleep studies. In the last few years I have essentially been unable to function most days getting out of bed is a task let alone doing anything productive with my life... I have slowly lost contact with my friends my family loath my current state and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. Exercise, medication, medical advice all of which recommended by medical professionals has done nothing to ease or halt my symptoms. Any advice would be greatly appreciated I know I need to do something I simply have no idea what. If anyone has had similar issues it would even be nice just to talk to someone about this as nobody I know has any idea what I'm talking about which I suppose makes sense if you have not experienced something yourself you can only really guess what a person is feelling. Tiredone (original I know)
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