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Found 5 results

  1. Hello. I can't remember a time when food wasn't THE main focus in my life. Even when I'm so full and can't eat another bite...my thoughts wander to what else I'll eat later. Diets, eating plans, Weight Watchers Summer Camps, gastric bypass, journaling what I eat and/or exercising will START to give results the first few weeks and then my body just basically says "F you" and shuts down. No more weight loss. If I can't get the gratification of weekly seeing measurable change in my efforts...I'm right back to food. Overeating has ruined my life. Whoever I COULD have been when I started out a sweet little girl was squandered when I somehow started using food to placate myself VERY YOUNG. Then it became a horrible guilty, shameful and "what's wrong with me" set of glasses I looked at life through. I was constantly pushed by my mom to stop eating, go on a diet and exercise. She tried EVERYTHING until well into my adult life. She too had weight/eating issues and knew what life would be like for me. She tried to help the only way she knew how but it set up a terrible vicious cycle of sneaking food to make myself feel better and loved and treated special...that's what food feels like to me. When I look at my family dynamics I can see all the ways life in general contributed to this addiction. But breaking out of it has been a constant struggle. Now for the last 2-3 years I've literally given up. I'm 58 now and it feels like, short of a miracle, I'll die fat. My hips, spine and knees are in terrible shape (of course they are). Being fat set up a way of thinking and acting in all relationships with people that I also am exhausted with. I honestly with all my heart and fiber of my being think and feel that pleasing someone else will keep them in my life and they'll pay what little attention to me they are willing to give me. Not all people have been horrible, I've had some great friends over my life...but of course, THEY HAD LIVES and I was never the center of anyone else's life. I would have done anything through my mid forties to make someone else the center of my life in hopes of finally finding someone who wanted to team up and walk through life together. Now? I'm too old. I'm too set in my ways. It's just not as important. I'm past the age of finding someone to "be a couple" with...no I'll never define who I am that way. I'm too old for kids and of course at this point I should've had grandchildren. There will be no one to take care of me as I get older. I literally hope God takes me out while I can still walk and am living on my own. I never want to be institutionalized in an assisted living/nursing home type of situation. Thanks for reading this.
  2. I fucking hate how ugly I am. I have naturally curly and wavy hair like that girl on Peanuts. It's really messy and whenever I try to comb it always goes back to the way it was as if I've never combed in the first place with 3 minutes. Everyone at school makes fun of me by calling me a "crackhead" and a homeless person because of my hairstyle. I am also morbidly obese, weighing 237 pounds. I hate how fat I am and I used to wear jackets all the time even in the summer to try to hide my fat. I also try to hold my breath to be temporarily skinnier. I trying to lose weight but it's impossible as I don't have access to any gyms especially since I'm only 16 and I'm not really the well off type. I also eat a shitton and I'm really impulsive about it. I'll try to commit to eating less and healthy but 5 seconds later I've downed a whole tub of ice cream and I've only realized it when it's too late and I feel guilt. I've contemplated starving myself as a result to lose weight. Is anyone else going through similar stuff? Anyone have any advice?
  3. I have a serious problem with using food as a coping method for stress & anxiety. It's mostly when I come home from work after a long day, or get home after a stressful situation. Sometimes it's for no apparent reason at all, just the habit. Bread based foods are particularly bad because they make me sleepy, which makes me relaxed. I feel not unlike an alcoholic - it's having significant physical, social, psychological and especially financial impacts. Actually sending me broke. I was wondering whether to ask my doctor for an increase in antidepressant dose, but I feel that would be like be putting a little bandaid over it. I've tried various medications in the past aimed at helping me regulate my eating, but no luck. (Thinking of buying a pavlok bracelet, use it to train myself away from purchasing & eating so much food.) Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with addictive coping mechanisms? Or alternatives I could pursue? Many thanks for reading!
  4. hey everyone. i'm putting this under the antipsychotics category since those are the only meds i take and so they may or not be causing this, but feel free to move it to the appropriate category. so i've been pretty proud of myself lately. i've been eating at home and exercising 30 mins 6 days a week. i'm noticing changes around my tummy area, where i was previously super bloated thanks to a high dose of seroquel. so thats good. however, i would like to continue this trend and lose more weight but i'm eating at least every 2 hours and i'm talking full meals each time. maybe 400-500 calories each time. i don't recall eating this much before i started taking meds, so i'm thinking maybe it has to do with that but i am considering that maybe it isn't that. i try (not very hard admittedly but i try) to restrain my desire to eat when it comes up but i find myself unable to focus when i don't eat and this is bad for me as i do a lot of studying. has anyone had this problem? any solutions?
  5. My GP diagnosed me with it and told me to go to Overeater's Anonymous, but what he doesn't realize is that my social anxiety is too bad for me to even think about it. I'm wondering... what else can I do? It's not just about watching what I eat, I'm just hungry all the time. I feel guilty when I eat and I always eat too much, and it doesn't matter what I do as long as I fill myself up. I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm bored, I just have to fill myself up. I'm thinking about seeing a nutritionist to help me figure out what I SHOULD eat, and going in depth with my tdoc. What other treatment options are there for this particular flavor of ED? Which.. which would be best for somebody with social anxiety?
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