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  1. Went to my HMO for the first time since my former primary mistreated me. Everytime I would drive up to the building I could not go inside as a panic attack would hit me. Made it thru selecting new glasses, but wanted to run out of there, was having shortness of breathe. Then made it thru pharmacy to pick up scripts and lastly made it thru a flu shot. The Zyprexa is dampening down the run-away anxiety/panic/agoraphobia so far and I found myself very much in the present moment. I was soo proud of myself for making it thru the day
  2. This is what I go thru every day from the moment I wake up: anxiety throughout the day, uncontrollable anxiety and panic only when I leave my home, dissociation in times of high stress and high anxiety and panic, insomnia every night, daily depression, scary cycling mood swings. My psych doc called me on a Saturday afternoon (now this doc is semi-retired and only works 3 days a week now). I was shocked when I saw his name come up on caller ID. He was calling to suggest I go into the hospital until I become stabilized. Stabilized in one week, no way I say. It's gonna take time for that
  3. Finally came clean with my psych. I am sitting here with boxes of the same item (3) of this and that, that I ordered online and don't even remember I ordered these items. I increased my credit line on my credit cards so I could spend more. I find when I am up late at night I order, order, order and don't remember the next day what I ordered until I get an email that an item is coming. I can't leave my home due to panic and high anxiety. I have to stop spending or I am heading for bankruptcy. My psych doc just started me on Seroquel (1/2 of a 25 mg - very low dose due to sensitivities to
  4. I tapered of ativan because I felt like it was making me like the energizer bunny. I would start reading a book, 15 min later do dishes, 20 min later go on a run, 10 minutes into the run get tired of it, go inside watch a tv show for 10 min, then do something else. I couldn't focus on one damn thing at a time. Well I refilled the prescription and I felt great yesterday and the day before but now I actually feel more anxious. Not exactly anxiety per se, but almost like an agitation that makes me on edge, makes me worry more. I function better. Showering, cleaning, not daydreaming all day or dis
  5. Hi everyone So here's a little background: I have been taking Klonopin daily for 4+ years now. The dosage at first was 1mg a day, increased to 2mg a day, then 3mg a day, back down to 2mg. I was on 2mg a day for the majority of the time using Klonopin. At the beginning of 2018, I discussed with my psych that I want to VERY slowly taper off Klonopin completely, since I feel my anxiety and panic are not as bad as they were, especially with being on Prozac. He agreed, so we tapered very slowly. I would make 25% to 33% reductions every visit. So far I have made it down to 0.75mg a day. That's hug
  6. In January of this year I woke up with a panic attack completely out of the blue. Despite several episodes of anxiety and depression in my 20s, my last episode was back in 2008! At that time I went through a year or so of therapy, committed to staying on 30mg of Paxil, and I never looked back. I honestly would have said I was cured! The panic attack led to a period of anxiety that lasted right through February. I upped the Paxil to 40mg and worked with a psychiatrist who suggested adding Lamictal. We started at 25mg for 2 weeks, 50mg for 2 weeks, and then 75mg. I started noticing a posi
  7. So I have been on xanax 1mg two to three times daily for about 1-1.5 years now; Paxil is great and I don't need xanax when on paxil but it makes me manic as hell so that isn't really an option. Been thinking whether Zoloft would be any different.... Anyway, still on xanax same dosage, but just doubled my valium from 10mg at night to 20mg at night because I was waking up from sleep with difficulty breathing and panic symptoms. I asked to try ativan, eliminate the antipsychotic i use for sleep mainly since ativan 2mg really helps with insomnia, and get rid of the valium. Well she said lets try i
  8. Driving makes me so anxious I can't deal with it. I have panic attacks and some times I disassociate. I've decided that I can't do it anymore right now. My therapist says I shouldn't quit and I need to power through it or the anxiety will win, but it's just too much. Besides, I don't think it's safe to drive when I start disassociating or panicking and not paying attention to the road. There's not always a safe place to pull over if I start freaking out. Maybe I'm exaggerating the safety concerns because I don't want to do it though. I don't know. I know it will be a hardship for my famil
  9. I have an extreme fear of water. Not lakes or oceans but DRIPPING WATER. Turn off the shower and I panic. I refuse to take baths because I cannot stand to watch the faucet drip. I hate the rain because I hear dripping. I am the same way about anything that CLICKS or TICKS. Hot water tanks, scare the crud out of me because they ‘tick’. My children aren’t allowed to use hot water after 8. My future husband and I just bought our first home together. It has an energy efficient heating system which creates condensation vs. the old heating systems that did not. Well the drain for the condensati
  10. Ive tried Paxil which almost immediately made me want to sleep. Ive also tried Clonazepam primarily for akathisia from Abilify which had the same effect at first but after I gained a tolerance just wore me down a little so I take that around bedtime. I'm getting major anxiety and panic from being on an low-dose atypical antipsychotic and from my 1 1/2 year bid in jail, which ended 2 years ago, from a psychotic episode (having flashbacks of inmates, guards, and harsh environment). Additionally, I'm completely restless, suffering from somewhat intense akathisia, and have racing thoughts. Nonethe
  11. So one of my best friends (one who doesn't know about my self harm) invited me to a water event. I'm panicking about the recent cuts on my forearm, they haven't fully healed yet, there's still some obvious scabbing. I really want to wear my thin hoodie and shorts, but I feel like that would look awkward. I don't have any water resistant makeup. Plus there's gonna be a ton of people at the event, and if I wear short sleeves, everyone would see.
  12. Hi all I'm new here. I've dealt with OCD and Severe Panic Attacks for over 35 years. Been thru everything. For the last 10 years I have sailed thru life taking my meds and doing a little cognitive therapy on my own daily. About a year ago I started to lose control again and I can't snap out of it. Has anyone had their meds increased as they went thru menopause ? My other meds for like thyroid issues have increased but I have been on the same meds and dosages since 2000 17 years ago. I hate taking meds and feeling weak but the anxiety is debilitating and I just can't function. Any help is
  13. Uhm I was wondering what Panic Attack Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder really are. My therapist said that she thinks I have Panic Attack Disorder and i dont really understand what that means. Of course it has to deal with panic attacks but could you explain exactly what a panic attack is? I don't know if I'm having a Panic attack or something else. If she corresponds to it, I'm 13 years old. Please don't suspect me as a attention seeker. Also, will people think it's weird for me to have a disorder like those? The only disorders some people have at my school are ADD and Adhd. I want to be
  14. With Anxietyzone gone I'm hoping I can find some constructive feedback from you guys. I have panic disorder with agoraphobia, have been on Prozac, Lexapro and now Zoloft. All three have worked but eventually built tolerance. Would increase dose, achieve remission, poop out, be at max dose and have to switch to a new ssri. Currently dealing with a semi-breakdown. Can't drive over bridges, avoiding wide open spaces, having intense thoughts that I'm about to go crazy, lose control etc...the usual. To my question. pdoc instructed me to raise zoloft dose from 100 to 125. I'm hesitant ma
  15. For those of you who experience paranoia as well as panic, how do you cope? I had a bad attack yesterday where I felt something was behind me, and the only way I could feel somewhat safe was to put my back against the wall. This continued until my anxiety meds finally kicked in. I also called my on call facility to have someone to talk to. Anyway, does anyone have any other ideas on how to deal with something like this. It is freakin scary and I would love some answers. Thanks, Poem
  16. Hi, I'm not sure where to start. I would just like the opinions of others on what might be going on with me. I am and have been already seeking help from a doctor(s) for awhile. In June 2016 I had a series of tragic life events happen to me when I was abroad for college. I had a misdiagnosed pulmonary embolism which could have killed me, along with two suicides on my dad's side of the family and law school exams. I had experienced some anxiety as a teenager, which I have just recently realized were anxiety, but they were always triggered by something. When I was 16 I was followed b
  17. Hi there, Anyone get spooky around windows? I always find my agoraphobia kicking in when I have the blinds up in my flat. I challenge myself by keeping a couple of them up during the day, but some days I can't even do that. Or go outside during the day. I get this rush of anxiety/panic...I thought it might be brought on by seeing people and cars pass and knowing that they could see me. Anyone else get the jumpies around their windows?
  18. I'll try to make this relatively brief, but the context may be longish. I hope this isn't TL:DR because I am really hoping someone will give me some advice (and comfort). My immediate problem is that I keep having sudden, intense, unignorable panic attacks, with my whole body and my mind overcome by a feeling that I am imminently going to leave my body. This is sometimes accompanied by a temporal distortion, feeling as if the present moment is a very slow-motion recall of a past moment of my life--that I am in the process of dying, and reviewing my life. Then my mind kind of goes into a l
  19. I am currently taking antidepressants and I am worried because of the testimonies of people here in this link below. Scroll down and you will find them. Some people are fine even after taking them for many years. But some have their lives destroyed. In particular, I am worried about all my motivation and everything about me being wiped out from these medications. https://prof77.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/testimonies-of-people-destroyed-by-antidepressants/
  20. My honey and I are flying from CA to MO in a week and I'm already starting to panic about flying. I'm terrified to fly and usually get drunk to manage, but his family (who we're visiting) is picking us up at the airport. I don't want to make an ass in front of my future in-laws. I see my pdoc tomorrow, and I wish so badly that he'd prescribe me something to ease my anxiety, but he won't because I drink. I guess get drunk it'll be. FUCK!! I'm still going to beg him for something just to tie me over for the flights out and back. 4 flights in all with the layovers. I HATE this panic and i
  21. My boyfriend and I have decided on taking our first family trip, stepping way out of our comfort zone, with our 2 year old daughter. We decided to stay one night in a hotel, and sight see through out the day and on day 2 go tent camping over night at a state park, and hike and explore. I suffer from anxiety really bad, and I'm so nervous my daughter isn't going to enjoy any of this, and she will be throwing tantrums and making the trip kind of unbearable the entire time. I get so nervous even going into stores with her, because I feel like people are staring at us and when she begi
  22. So everything was pretty calm all day... did my daily routine, couldn't think of anything that would trigger an attack.. I'm taking a shower and all of the sudden i feel faint and have a stabbing sensation in my heart and my arm went tingly ... freaked out , thought i was having a heart attack.. got out of the shower.. started hyperventilating.. i wrote a note to my family and left it on the counter.. just in case they found me on the floor. CC... i didn't have my Xanax with me, so i had to calm myself down by distracting myself. that took 45 minutes and all night i had depersonalization, then
  23. It's been awhile since I posted.... I have still been what I think is a mixed state rapid cycle for months now :/ I was on the Trileptal but as it increased it just gave me headaches so bad I ended dup in the ER because it was shooting down my back and neck (It did help my physical problems though) So I already know a number of antipsychs don't work and worsen m physical problem. Depression meds have always revved me up unbearably. Other then Valium my first notable calmness came with Depakote, however like I said before it oddly gave my a weird audio hallucination on a extremely low dose on
  24. Every morning, my alarm clock goes off at 5:35AM. I always hit snooze until the next alarm tells me it's time to get up. Sometimes, for several minutes, I physically cannot get up out of bed. If I do, I usually stumble to the point of inadvertently smacking some body part against something hard. It hurts, and I am grateful for that. When I arise, thoughts and memories slowly start to trickle in and then a tsunami of depression, hopelessness, desperation and fear at the memory of what yesterday was, and what today will be. I then proceed to weep like a child or a very sad dog. I am mourning the
  25. I've been managing the last couple months. Have quiet figured out my meds but been managing. Last minute decision we(me and hubby) decided to travel several states away to an event for the weekend. This is the 1st time I have been away from both kids for longer then 16hrs. The panicking and anxiety is threatening to ruin this trip. my anxiety brings around fleeing feelings (mainly wanting to leave my loving and supportive husband. Crazy I know. Depression caused lots of feelings of not 'in love' though I know I love him and overwhelming feelings when trying to reconnect) Not able to eat, hot
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