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Showing results for tags 'parents'.
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So i have a female best friend, im a man and we are the best friends of all time, she really helped me trough my depression and addictions. There are no more than a friendship, we already talked about it and we date other people. The problem arise when my parents, very religious, start to say that i spend to much time whit her, but we really just do the normal friend things, she come to my home, we eat, we hang out, etc. We see everyday because of college. It obsesses me that my parents annoy me whit their shit that i will end just having sex whit her, or that she just want that, we had the opportunity before and we choosed to not, and even if that happens cant just let me alone?. Im all day thinking that they are against me, also they annoy me and its hell. Can someone give me advice? Thanks in advance.
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Basically what the title says. Also, how old we you at the time. Obviously looking for responses from teenager years more than anything.
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So basically im dead inside. I currently being emotionaly dull, i cant feel any motivation or desire to live, despite that im still doing my everyday things, going to college, working out, doing my usual duties and chores. The thing is that i have an schizoid disorder, and im very paranoid. I posted in addiction because one of the most destructive things is my addction to many things. I smoke, not weed, regular cigarettes, the thing is that my parents think that i quited smoking but i dont, i wanna quit to, i hate it, and i hate it because my parents are well known religious leaders in my town and a lot of people know them and know me, when i smoke outside im always paranoid, i dont wanna live this way, my paranoia is getting worse but i always end up smoking again because my friends smoke and i always fall but i wanna quit. If my parents get to know that i still smoke they probably stop paying my colleges fees, a lot of people know them and can snitch on me. I have this fight, i cant keep going anymore, at the same time smoking helps me cope whit my side effectos made by my antipsychotics, but they dont understand, they always judge merciless even do im an adult in my twenties. Can anyone give advice, all advice is very helpful.
- 5 replies
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- addiction
- depression
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I hadn’t been cutting for long before I was found out. My parents sent me to therapy hoping for a full recovery. I haven’t cut since the end of May -a little over for months ago- but I still fantasize about it everyday. I feel that since I’m not an active cutter I’m seen as being better but I’m not better. The urge is still there and life is harder now that I’m not doing essentially the only thing that remedied the pain. I wish I coined express this frustration to someone but I hate to disappoint. I burdened my parents and enough already and don’t want to hurt them anymore. How can I make the urge go away or get my parents to see that I haven’t fully recovered without hurting them? If you have any advice please lmk. Thanks.
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Any advice on how to accept that your parents will never get the gay and mentally ill thing? They're not nearly as bad as some of my friends parents. But. They just don't understand. I've tried to explain things a million ways, and it just isn't happening. I need to deal with it. How do I even start?
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I just cut myself again, after less than a week without doing it. The longest I've gone is about 2 1/2 months. When I've been keeping such big secrets for so long, it isn't hard to find my way around my parents safety measures. I'm sure you guys can agree. I started cutting when I was 13. My parents know. Now, at almost 15, I've been hospitalized 5 times. My family is reaching the limit of their tolerance. I can't blame them. My youngest sister, after witnessing one of my breakdowns, now sees a therapist herself. Today, my dad said I'll have to go live in a special home if I don't stop. I don't know what to do. I want to be with them and make them happy, but self-harm has become a part of me now. Honestly, I almost want to go away. At least then they wouldn't have to worry about me. I really have nothing left to fight with. That's why I'm reaching out. Thanks guys.
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So my family moved when the housing market was really bad and never sold our old house. (It was already paid off, so it wasn't cost effective to sell.) And that was eight years ago. Now, my brother and I are both in college. My parents let him live in our old house with a roommate for $250 each. He lived there his freshman year with two roommates, moved back home his sophomore year, and is back over there again. He's got at least three more years left in school. Right now, I'm stuck in my parent's house. I also have three more years left in school. And I really want to move out because my parents are a big self-harm trigger for me. The only problem is, where I'm from, a one bedroom apartment in a safe location goes for $900-$1100 a month. What I need advice on is: Is it fair of me to want an opportunity to live at our old house too? I mean, I'm kind of messed up in the head, but it makes sense to me. Just because I'm the younger kid doesn't mean it's fair for me not to get the chance. When I bring it up to my mom, she's always like "you can move out and get an apartment". But that's a ton of money for what I'd get, when my brother gets a whole house for $250. Not to mention that any job I can get is just a minimum wage job, whereas my brother's job (which my dad got him) pays, I think, like $15 a hour. So between the two of us, he'd be more able to pay for an apartment. Also, just putting it out there that my brother is mentally and emotionally stable regardless of whether he's living our parents or not. Well, what do you guys think? Is my mom being fair about this? And what do you guys think I should do?
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So due to circumstances beyond my control, after living away from home for like 8 years, I moved back in with my parents last year. (Siblings live here too. Three of them from age 13-19. I'm 28 in a week). I really, really didn't want to have to do this, but I don't make enough money to afford an apartment in this area, and now I'm out of a job for who knows how long. I'm frustrated with little things, like the fact that nobody cleans up after themselves. Dirty dishes are left around while the dishwasher is full of clean dishes that nobody bothers to put away. And with six people, that's a lot of dishes. I've taken to doing the dishes, but whenever I ask for help, I get an "okay" and then no actual help. I imagine this stuff happens with roommates, too, so that's really not as much of a family issue I guess. But what makes me angry/frustrated is that I am paying rent here (which was a condition of me moving back in, I understand and I'm not complaining), but I still get treated like a child. My step-dad doesn't respect anything that I do (including the dishes... I'll mention that dishes will get cleaner if you rinse the crud out of them first... he just leaves them on the stove instead). He is always talking to me like I'm not allowed to do anything that I want to do, even if it's not disturbing anybody else. A couple weeks ago, I stayed up until like 2am watching a show on my laptop (with headphones in, so nobody else could hear), in the dark (no lights to bother anybody...) in the dining room, and he came down and was like, angry that I was still awake??? I don't understand this at all. My mom is really passive and she's not home much because of work, so I can't go to her. And anyway, she's really unsupportive in general. I've tried to talk with her when I'm feeling depressed or anxious and she literally will just sit there and not say anything, or she'll walk away. I mean she doesn't intentionally do it like in a rude way, but I definitely feel ignored. I know the solution to this is to move out, but without a job I really can't do that. And this area is really expensive to live in, especially in comparison to the average hourly pay. I would try to keep to myself, but the other issue is that I don't have a bedroom. I have a bed and a space, but no door or private area, so I can't "get away" from everybody else, unless I want to lock myself in the bathroom maybe. It's really making me feel like I have no control over anything anymore. My parents aren't abusive or anything but they're really difficult to deal with (and I haven't even gotten into my siblings, but that's another story) and I don't know if I have any options. Does anybody else have a similar situation or any suggestions? I guess I need to find a way to get out of the house more... which would be nice if I could get a job soon. TL;DR: I moved back in with my parents and I have no autonomy or privacy and I'm stuck here.
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All kinds of trigger warnings here. Also, if you are bipolar or have strong feelings about it you may want to give this one a miss. A lot of what I'm going to say might be hurtful or offensive, tho I certainly don't mean that towards anyone here. My mother has type 1 bipolar disorder. I know it's true, it makes perfect sense. She was white knuckling for years, before she got diagnosed, self medicating, hiding her paranoid delusions. I got out 3yrs ago and planned to never speak to her again. I was a kid, I didn't know why she was screaming/ sobbing/ ranting...abusing/ neglecting/begging me for help. All I knew was that she was NOT my Mom, the woman who used to love me --and that therefore I was free to hate her fucking guts. (Fun aside--imagine trying to explain this theory to a shrink without sounding crazy yourself.) And now she's getting help, hooray. Diagnosis! Explanations! Meds and therapy and doctors, oh my. She wants to "reconnect" now that she's "herself again." She showed me the notebooks filled with her scribbled delusions. I've agreed to meet with her one a month, with a friend I trust. But I don't want to forgive her and I don't even want to hear her explanations or even understand "why." Is this wrong of me? Morally? or in terms of my own sense of peace? People tell me I need closure and I get that too. But I DON'T EFFING WANT IT. (You know that movie Silver Linings Playbook? I HATE that movie. I hate that I'm supposed to feel so sorry for him. I'm so pissed at Bradley Cooper for ruining his own hotness for me, forever.)
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I was the perfect child. A little stubborn, perhaps. For the most part, I was happy, loving, I cared for people, my main goals in life was to help others. As I hit middle school, anxiety hit. I was worried 27/7 about being popular. I became anorexic in 7th grade, in fear of getting fat. I was taking in a max of 200 calories for a whole year. When summer came, I got my first and only boyfriend. My self esteem increased dramatically! I got in honors in orchestra and second to honors in choir (which I worked my ass off the whole mother fucking year for). Then my boyfriend broke up with me. I started self harming because I couldn't take the fucking pain. School came back around, now I had a new habit on top of anorexia. After 2 days into school, my mother went through my text messages, and found the ones to my boyfriend. I sent him a message saying "OH MY FUCKING GOD" in it, because I was so mad at him. My mother, in response to it, smashed my phone 10 times, threw it in the toilet, and made me switch schools, on my birthday (may I also say that she didn't make me switch schools because of self harm or my eating disorder, but because I said "the lords name in vain"). This happened over a year ago, all my hard work crushed to pieces. I don't practice my violin anymore. Instead of anorexic, I now have a binge eating disorder and am overweight. The school I go to now is a super conservative christian school that is extremely homophobic, which I'm a benegender pansexual (my mother almost kicked me out of the house after I told her that I am one). My mom won't let me have a phone or go to public school because she's "worried about my spirituality". I feel so fucking trapped that I want to die. Does anyone have a problem where their parents are so oppressive that they want to kill themselves?
- 6 replies
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- religion
- oppression
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I am nineteen years old and I haven't told my parents that I love them in eleven years. I also can't call them the traditional "mom" or "dad", but rather silly nicknames I came up with as a young child. This is confusing, especially since they are good parents. I have never been abused (by them, at least). Neither has an alcohol problem. Neither fight. I essentially am living with the Brady Bunch. Several of my friends have died in freak accidents over the years (my two best friends were killed within two years of each other when I was in elementary school, for one thing). I was abused in every sense of the world by my step grandfather. I've been in an and out of psychiatric institutions since the beginning of high school - yet, I was always visited. I was always cared about. Strings were pulled so that I could be transferred to better facilities, the works. I don't get it and most people I've talked to say the same thing: "give them a hug, for once, Bethany. Just say it. They'll be so happy." But I can't. When is the right time to say that I love someone after not doing it for so long? Do I love them? I should. I have been so blessed. I can't say it and I can't give any logical explanation for why I stopped saying those words and why I can't go back to saying them again. It all feels foreign in my mouth. Any general insight? I know I didn't give a very detailed overview; however, I didn't want to get too wordy and start on a ramble fest, which I am famous for doing. Does anyone else have the same or a similar problem? Thoughts, please.
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For a while my parents have been trying to get me to discuss my future plans with them. Finally I decided to do that. When I told them they were supportive. But today my dad came home, mad as hell and started yelling about how stupid I am. He said that even though Im almost done with university, I'm about as smart as a 7th grader. And that I'm living in dreamland. Oh and that I'm a failure and i'll always be one. Apparently the reason Im not aiming as high as their expectations is because I know I'll never get there cuz I'm useless. My parents and the pressure they put on me is one of the main reasons I started cutting myself. Been clean for a year now. Hah. My future plans all have one goal. Moving away from them. Gaining my own freedom. They are over-protective. They even walk me to the bus stop everyday and make sure I get on and off. Im not allowed to have male friends. If any of my female friends have male friends, I'm to cut ties with them. Im not allowed to be close to my cousins. Im not allowed to go into my own backyard without permission. I cant make phone calls without them listening in on me. And they blame me for not being an adult. For not being able to do the things they dont allow me to do. Im losing it. Im 20, living at home like a 15 year old. And they ask me why I want to go to a different place. I dont know the point of this post. My minds not working properly.
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A friend invited me to the upcoming NYC Pride celebration this coming weekend. When I asked my parents (which is actually just a formality since I am 19 and a sign of respect since I am still under their roof) if I could go with her they gave me all kinds of crap about it. They, apparently, think that because I am unable to work due to phobia/anxiety or whatever the hell causes my emotional meltdowns... that this means I can't do anything. Even though I've explained at great length about what happened. Apparently, because "Your mother and I can't be in crowds (when suffering from anxiety)" means that I, too, cannot be in crowds. It isn't being around people that bothers me. It's partly the overwhelming feeling that I am being scrutinized and judged and stared at and talked about. I have problems with one-on-one interactions, phone interactions, being in public on my own (like going to a store) or something like that where I feel as though I stand out a lot. My whole life I have never had a problem attending large music concerts or anything of that nature. I somehow feel that the last place I will be scrutinized or judged will be at a gay/lgbt pride event. I'm also trying to avoid developing agoraphobia, which sounds silly, but there was a point about three years ago where I couldn't leave my house or go anywhere by myself, and even when I was with someone I could only handle short excursions. This lasted for several months and it was very hard to reclaim my independence so to speak. I know if I start avoiding doing things because I'm afraid of my anxiety, it will happen again. It should also be noted that if I were to say "Sorry, I can't go to the store for you today, my anxiety is really bad." My parents would not be accepting of this. They would tell me to grow up, push myself, you know, all the usual b.s. They aren't trying to understand me. They aren't trying to support me. They aren't just looking out for me... My mental illness only exists at their convenience.