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I don't feel anymore, all I hear is noise. No touch of a hand, no tickle of a whisper in my ear, not a kiss, an embrace, nothing. Nothing except noise. This constant white noise of sounds I can't even string together anymore. It's all consuming and too much. I want to switch it off but I can't do it alone. I need to know that there is someone out there who also hears the noise. Who, like me is ready to not just turn it down but switch it off completely.
Afternoon/Morning/Evening Guys, It's been a long time since I last posted on here and things have been really manageable which is great but I recently am finding myself coming out with some rather 'irrational' things that scares my partner (bit of background; we've been together 3 years, are engaged and he is usually absolutely amazing at supporting me with depression, having experienced it himself first hand) Recently, thanks to the stress of work, i've been finding I'm saying progressively more irrational things that seem totally rational at the time (apart from a tiny bit of me that feels it's odd). To give you an example it was really windy the other day and I thought the air/wind was angry ghosts and if I breathed them in then I would become possessed by them and I tried to cover my partners mouth with his hat to help him. It was at that point he wondered wtf I was doing so explained and he seemed very worried. The second time I felt like my breathing was being restricted ( I had a tight necklace on at the time which looking back was probably the cause of the feeling). I panicked and asked him for a pen as I felt that I needed to stab my neck to create a air hole to breathe. Looking back I can understand how ridiculous this all sounds but at the time it felt real. I know I will never act on these, as my other half calls them "silly thoughts" so I want to reassure my partner of this and have done but I feel I need to say more. I also asked him if I should go to the Dr's about it but he is worried they would section me. As i'm in the UK it's easy to reassure him that that is highly unlikely due to the massive bed shortage in the UK and what I didn't say, the number of times I've been much much worse and very ill and been turned away from A&E with a vallium or three. Sorry for ranting, so the crux of this is, how do you help your loved ones to stop worrying!? Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate that you took time out to read it all. Thanks again! TOLBY
It is deep and dark, and you must never come there with me!" Does anyone else hide their symptoms from their partner? I excuse myself for being "busy," "tired," or "not feeling well" if I'm depressed, or just straight-up hide if I'm feeling hypomanic. I have never had a relationship survive my partner seeing me symptomatic. Thoughts? Fellow-feeling? Advice?
So I'm a first time poster, and if this is in the wrong place a moderator can feel free to move it and PM me as to where the thread has gone. What are peoples' romantic success stories concerning bipolar disorder in any of it's forms? Do things ever work out or not? Personally I have a bipolar partner - she's transitioning currently from seroquel to lithium - and I'm wondering do things ever get better? In the past she's been suicidal, she's asked me to euthanize her and semi-frequently she calls me an idiot, a moron, ugly and fat. Ultimately our relationship has put immense stress and pressure on me, I've been with her for over 6 years now; so I guess I was wondering if my faith in her - that she has capacity for improvement - will be rewarded or if these situations are mostly fruitless? In regards to myself, I've developed the pure-O OCD with the specific obsession of breaking her neck, which as you can image causes me considerable anxiety. I think I've always had a predisposition for OCD, but I doubt very much if it would have developed without the strains of this relationship. Of course I'm glossing over details, such as our relationship can be great at times and also she had done other horrible things, but really I think it's best to keep the post as succint as possible. Please, tell me how these things pan out.