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Found 16 results

  1. Putting aside being mis-diagnosed for decades what was the most fucked up thing that you were told by Pdoc's, Tdoc's or any other so called support people? Me: I was in the hospital after having 2 grand mal seizures. I was curled up in a ball with my hoodie and sunglasses and refusing to remove them. Refusing to eat. I was delusional and only had been eating one type of food for over a week. It was the only "safe" food. I was crying uncontrollably. Due to the seizure issue a Pdoc from the psych department came to me to do an assessment. I was already diagnosed with MDD years ago. After asking many questions her conclusion was that I was bored. Really bitch, bored. Yep this is what I do for fun.
  2. Omfg why does finding a pdoc have to be such a problem!? Like as soon as I find one with an office near me, they're either not accepting new patients or off my insurance (so they cost like $200 an appointment). It's like the universe is saying "I want you to suffer, bitch!" like what the hell?! Does anyone have any advice about finding a pdoc? I called my health insurance, but all they did was try to push therapy. They even called to today about scheduling me a therapy appointment when I called to find a psychiatrist. Like, therapy is great and everything, but I need meds. At this point, I just don't know what to do in order to get help.
  3. I am unsure if I am posting in the right place, so I apologize if I am. I just got word two days ago that my psychiatrist is leaving the clinic that I go to, and that next week is his last week. When I asked the office staff where he was going, no one knew. This is really hard for me to deal with as I became emotionally attached to him. He only worked at the clinic that I go to for a little over a year. This is a huge shock to me. I was told that I would be put on a waiting list for the new psychiatrist who will be replacing him. I have trust issues and I am wary of seeing someone new; and this is really upsetting to me because I really trusted my pdoc. I am wondering, that if he is staying local if I am allowed to still see him? and how can I found out where he is going if his office staff won't tell me? will my insurance company know where he's going, or are there any other resources that could help me find out where he is going? A lot of things were left unanswered for me and I would really like some closure. I am having a very hard time dealing with him leaving, any advice is much appreciated.
  4. Just had the most shitty experience with a new pdoc. This doc was totally cold, indifferent and didn't read my file so I was cross questioned about my medication history for much of the appointment which was incredibly stressful -all the info required would already be in my file. Then I was asked to explain all the meds I've tried and made to feel bad for the reasons I stopped taking them (i.e. they didn't work + had intolerable side-effects). I was given an interrogation about current benzo usage, although again this is on my record and is decreased anyway. Then I was told I have 'tried everything' (not true) and I when I asked I was given a flat no to the two therapies I wanted to discuss... oh and I was and patronized too. I was told depression isn't severe in a way which felt incredibly dismissive. OK maybe my depression isn't severe compared to the worst cases, but my low mood it is lasting many years with persistent suicidal thoughts and ideas. Inability to function/work/etc. The this doc said well we could try some anti psychotic and when I paused for thought she then pressured me to make a decision because our time was up. I then got rushed out the door. Now I'm back at home obsessing over suicide methods again. ugh. Mental health care in the UK is screwed up. There is no choice and no real support. The doctors I've experienced are either incompetent or disinterested... I do wonder why they bother. Does psychiatry training accept doctors that have failed in other specialities or something?
  5. So... I did something kind of bad. When I saw my pdoc 6 months ago, she accidentally sent through a request for 400mg of Seroquel instead of 300, realized her mistake and resent it with the correct dosage. I said I would make sure the dosage was correct when I went to pick up my meds, but forgot, and it turned out it was the 400mg. I didn't realize until after the pharmacy was closed, so I just split the pill up intending on going back the next day. But then I didnt because I'm super avoidant and got scared that I would get in trouble. So then I didnt go in some more, and decided to stick with it because of fears of not being able to afford more frequent refills with my current insurance. Fast forward to today, and my pdoc calls and leaves a message saying she has a question about a refill request. I am terrified that I'll get into huge trouble with insurance fraud or something, so I have no idea what to tell her. I'm also terrible at lying. Help? Advice? Please??
  6. Has anyone else here ever experienced an anti-depressant or medication induced manic "switch"? Was it after being diagnosed, or were you diagnosed because of such an episode? I ask because I was recently re-diagnosed as bipolar following such a switch. My now-previous pdoc felt the diagnosis fit well, considering my reported history. My new pdoc seems to take an entirely different view; he thinks that anti-depressants can cause, in some people, symptoms that mimic mania. He's less interested in my reported history and more in what symptoms I present with at the moment. Needless to say, I'm confused (and as far as I understand, so is the profession of psychiatry on this issue). I am concerned about what this means for my long-term care, so I was hoping to hear some other experiences.
  7. As suggested by many people I finally saw a pdoc!!! I had to give a full history (from childhood) which was stressful and difficult. The doctor thought my previously diagnosed Social anxiety & OCD might actually be some traits of aspergers which I can't ever 'cure', but he wasn't totally sure. I have to read up on it and go back with a list of my symptoms that fit the criteria for adult autism spectrum. For my chronic depression & suicidal thoughts I was hoping to try different medications and get referred for therapy. He said no to the meds I wanted to try, 'too dangerous' apparently. He wants me to add an SSRI to my current combination. I feel disappointed because I stated before even meeting the doctor that I don't want another SSRI as none of the others helped me, most made me feel worse. I felt he was dismissive of my SSRI bad experiences and said side-effects will 'wear off in time' (not my experience) or 'have to be tolerated' (sigh). It also appears the SSRI+currrent med combo is actually seriously contraindicated, so I need to call up to clarify that. If that is the case it doesn't give me any confidence in his ability to manage medications. he was nice, talked to me like an adult, friendly, seemed to 'get' my OCD and social anxiety symptoms before I even explained them. he said he would 'look into' what therapy was available (socialised system here), which doesn't fill me with confidence. I have a follow up appointment in about 8 weeks; he wanted to make it 4 weeks but I said 8 because I couldn't face doing that all over again so soon. I don't know what to do - demand as second opinion? Try the SSRI he recommended (if not contraindicated)? Give up completely and accept it will never get better? thanks for reading.
  8. I've been taking a small to moderate amount of Ativan since 2011. At first the scrip was for 30 1mg tabs a month, but that got tapered to 20 and then 15. So it's not like I'm taking it every day or anything. The problem is that it's only ever been moderately effective, and I often have to take 2mg instead of 1mg to get the appropriate anxiolytic effect. I've been reading the bipolar and other forums for a few months and seem to notice that the vast majority of bipolar people seem to prefer Klonopin over the other benzos. I myself have taken it a couple of times in the past and do recall that it had a better effect on me than the Ativan does. I'd like to ask my pdoc to switch from Ativan to Klonopin, but I'm afraid he's going to say it's because of tolerance buildup (which it isn't, it's always been this way) and won't want to do that for me. Is there a way I could couch this to him that would make it more likely he'd agree to the switch? In this day and age of addiction paranoia, I'm sure there's a right way and a wrong way to go about this.
  9. I need to discuss symptoms with my pdoc but I can't get in to see her soon. I have to work until 5 and she leaves at either noon or 3 on the two days she works in my town. What should I do? I feel like I need to see her before the 3 wk follow up but can't actually get in to see her due to my work schedule conflicting. ugh Suggestions? -Mary
  10. I was wondering, when you have a few good days, do all the not so good days dissolve from your memory and present? Do they vanish until there is something unpleasant to bring them back? I am so embarrassed to make such a drama out of myself and I have no idea what to say at my pdoc appointment in 2 days. When I talk about bipolar symptoms I've supposedly had, it feels as though I'm discussing a story told to me by a good friend. They're not my issues anymore. Bleargh.
  11. My psychiatrist will not have a proper conversation with me. It's like I go in, she yells at me a little bit, gives me my prescriptions and I'm out the door. I keep telling myself to go to a new doctor but then I resist as I am exhausted telling my story over and over again. I research a lot about my mental health conditions, which she does not like. When I tell about medications I've researched she asks me why I have done that. She told me I can not email her and it seems she only cares about money as shes the only psychiatrist who hasn't let me come in when I'm short of money (all my other one's would let me post date a check or pay the following month when necessary) I have also tried different dosages of my meds on my own judgment as well as meds not prescribed to me and have found better results but I don't know how to bring this up to her. She's very much about low dose of everything, even if it's not the correct dose. I don't even have a correct diagnosis. She just yells at me and I just let her and for some reason I keep going back for me. She doesn't that I educate myself with mental health issues but will not trust my judgment. She has also made so many prescription mistakes that have to be amended by the pharmacists. I don't know what to do, if I should find a new doctor, but that seems scary.
  12. ive taken ativan once in my life, and it really helped with my anxiety. how do i ask my pdoc for it without sounding like a druggie?
  13. My pdoc went to Malaysia to lecture in Psychiatry for a 2 year period. He left last January. I was very fond of this pdoc as he was so good to me and also I was used to him as he was my pdoc for 15 years. Thankfully my mood has been stable over the past 16 months and i'm coping well without him but occasionally miss him and just want to see his face. Okay this is where the weirdness comes in..... I like to google his name and see his picture on the Malaysian college website, and on various Irish websites. And because I happen to know his daughter's name I decided to check out if she had a facebook account, and she does AND she has some public pictures of her Dad (my pdoc) and I love to see them especially if I'm struggling a bit. I know this is weird but it helps to see his friendly face. So is that weird, like bordering on stalking or is it ok to seek out his face every so often???
  14. I went to therapy last nite and told her that I have a hard time feeling emotions because I turn it off, then if something triggers me I do cry, but it's only for a minute or less because I hold my breath and stop. We decided that it's because as a kid my feelings weren't okay and the beatings were shorter if I didn't scream and cry. Ugh. So now she wants to call my pdoc and update him before my next appt. Sigh. I wish I could just let it go but it's so hard in the moment. I guess that is why I am sort of doing the DBT thing, not hard core but easing into it.
  15. I called my pdoc yesterday, and left a long message. I couldn't believe how depressed my voice sounded, but I also am crying all the time, sleeping a totally bizarre schedule, a little agoraphobic, ideating (I am NOT suicidal, but I am having the 'I want to die' thoughts), etc. My appetite is screwed. He actually did call, but it was in the middle of an emergency, and he knows emergency means seizures, and he said he would call back. I know this is a long explanation, but it is necessary background: Today, DH had a partial seizure either while on the phone, or right before he got a call. It was a scam, the type where they say "If you answer our poll, you'll get a discounted Celebrity Cruise!" If he hadn't been so out of it, he would never have fallen for it, AND we both have made a vow never to take a cruise, so I knew something strange was going on. His sweat often has a metallic smell after seizures, and I could smell it as soon as I walked into the room. His voice was slurred, he kept losing track of the fact that he was even on the phone, he had to have numbers repeated to him over and over and over (remember, he is a software developer, and former double major in chemistry and physics, so a numbers guy). If they asked for him to repeat the number back, he couldn't figure out what they were talking about. He was clearly non compos mentis, and they have it on tape, so I will go to small claims if I have to. They took TWO of his credit cards. WTF? When I tried to get him to stop, or at least tell me what was going on, he kept yelling, "Leave me alone!" Which is totally post-ictal behavior. Once he hung up, and I explained it was a scam, he went into hysterics, and started saying he didn't deserve me, because I was always cleaning up his messes. Um, don't worry sweetie, the feeling is mutual, I would be a disaster without him. I tried to call the cruise-line back right away, and he had another seizure, and started crashing around, so I was on our landline, chasing him around, and then that was when my pdoc called on my cell. But now I am afraid my pdoc is mad at me, and thinks I blew him off. He has never let this much time go by between my initial call and our conversation. I am so upset, I keep slapping my head, and banging it against the wall, I feel like such an idiot for not hanging up on the cruise line, and talking to him instead. That is another thing I do when depressed, and feel like I have done something wrong: slapping my own face, punching my own head, and banging it against walls. Great for headaches. And I woke up without a headache today for the first time since early March, and within a couple of hours, I had a fairly bad headache from adrenaline and stress and crying (the slapping and banging came later). So so much for a nice pain free day. Who knows when that will happen again. My online healthcare contact thingy, where I am supposed to be able to contact my doctors, won't allow contacts to psychiatry. I can't even apologize or explain what happened to my pdoc beforehand, I just have to call again tomorrow, and piss him off, because it is such a weird story. I feel like I am the most depressed I have been since the 90s. I need to talk to him. I am not in an emergency situation, but I rarely am. But I need him to talk with me. I need help. I can't stop crying. I figured out there is a lab really close to here, so he could prescribe lithium on the phone, and I could get levels without going into Palo Alto. I NEED MY FUCKING PDOC. --- My best friend saltcrazed (an occasional lurker on CBs) just called, and calmed me down somewhat. After the whole fiasco this morning, I wrote this hysterical email to her, and she is just the best friend I have ever had. She also has epilepsy and BP, so she understands all the shit in our lives. So I am no longer sobbing. But still, weepy, ANXIOUS, and scared that my pdoc is mad at me. He should understand if I explain it to him, shouldn't he? He knows about the brain surgery and everything. SHIT. --- Shit, and now Jason has had a tonic-clonic, but I was able to convince him to take some ativan after a few minutes. So that is either 3 or 4 seizures in the last 24 hours. Well, there is still another hour and ten minutes for something else to go wrong today.
  16. I wasnt sure what to put this under so I hope putting this topic here is ok. I have been feeling very low...depressed, for months now and have relapsed into self harm, I now kinda hear a voice in my head it comes and goes. I was talking to a counsellor and they have sent the conversation to my gp, I think i should make an appointment with my gp but I dont know what to say, I'm scared that i will get sectioned. I think about hurting/killing myself alot and I cannot concentrate of school anymore. I have lost all enthusiasm to do anything and feel like the voice is trying to control me. I find this very painful. I went to the hospital last saturday night after a overdose and got seen by a psychiatrist there, they told me that they would pass this info onto my gp. So now I know that thats two lots of condemning info that my gp has. I really want help for how i feel, its destroying my life. I am literally watching every little detail of my life break down. I know that tomorrow, when my mum will make a "same day" appointment with my gp that I will struggle to walk through the front doors of the surgery. I dont know what to do!? How do I explain to my doctor how i feel without getting sectioned and instead getting help!? p.s. what kind of question will my doctor ask me tomorrow? Thanks. x
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