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Found 8 results

  1. Go Ask Alice

    My Pillbox

    From the album: Go Ask Alice

    This pillbox is simply the best. Not only does it have AM and PM slots, the picture is deceiving because that bitch hold a lot of pills. Also, as I demonstrated, any day can be removed in order for an early morning ot a night out! Only a few bucks at Walmart - makes taking easy fun. Fun side note: It fits *perfectly* on my gigantic phone.
  2. 900 mg of lithium a day 40mg of Prozac amd 5 mg of risperdal i have aspergers which includes OCD ADD anxiety severe depression slight manic and possibly multi personalitie disorder
  3. I doubt anyone remembers me but I made some blog posts and forum posts a month or 2 ago about my snorting focalin and doing benzedrex inhalers along with other addictions and unsuccessful meds. Well, since then I've just stopped thinking of my mental disorders as concrete things and just consider myself bipolar NOS because it's easier. I got the whole motherload of schizoid adhd paranoid sometimes manic depressive disharmoniushellride. But after almost locking myself in to a rehab during the interview, they gave me a tour and it was just like the crisis unit, thorazine zombies and one flew over the cuckoos nest atmosphere. So after refusing to sign the final release saying I changed my mind for about 3 hours a bunch of women tried to put me on an involuntary status even though I wasn't a danger to anyone, they were just mad because I knew more about their jobs and craft than they do, they even kept calling me a condescending egotist saying that's a valid excuse to lock me up. Well, I contained my anger and started to be humble saying I didn't think I was smart. So they tried to lock me in saying I was suicidally depressed because I was self depricating. After that whole shitfest I left and went home. Since then I've pretty much kicked the benzedrex, kicked the opiates mostly, take less klonopin, and have a stable med routine focalin 10mg 2x/day (I still take a few extra of these :S) buspar 15mg as needed (prescribed today, the 5ht1a agonism is a fucking blessing) seroquel 300mg at night (I only take it when I have really bad insomnia) clonidine .3 mg as needed aaanddd I ditched the lexapro because SSRIs are mostly evergreening scams, plus I don't need any serotonin altering to that extent, I did a couple of DXM binges (not to trip, because I take dxm once a month to reset tolerance because its an NMDA antagonist and it also works as an antidepressant) Also finally have a new hobby, I've been reading up on numerology and witchcraft and shit, which also helps me mentally.
  4. The past five years I was involved with someone on pain management. They, like me, are bipolar. Before they got ill they were a former junkie, so by default they got were mmediatelyaddicted to opiates despite that they were for an illness. Life was all about counting pills, all about the pills, the pills, the pills. They also gave me pills. Not a lot. But enough that I managed to get high 1-2x a week--morphine, roxies, oxys. Sometimes there was more, sometimes there was none. I never took enough, long enough, that I'd get any kind of physical withdrawls. Cravings. Yes. I quit drinking because I didn't like to ruin the opiate high & i ended giving myself a reputation as a pill head. On top of it. Both of us were prescribed stimulants by our psych docs. We basically had a good ol' time there for awhile. But shit happened, they ended up having to buy extra painkillers, & I ended up almost having a stroke because of the stimulants. I didn't even renew my prescription, nor did he for those. It was pretty scary. So as it stands my lover is now getting clean & I could not be more proud of them and they are doing a good job. I have also, by default, have done the same. I will not sabotage our relationship by using, especially with them. But going forward, I have never told my psychdocs about me chipping (or did i go beyond that--do tell) because I dont' want to sabotage any chance i have at disability. My firends who are in recovery don't seem to think I need to go to NA..but I think about doing pills a lot. I found a dusty old diludid in an old purse tonight--but then I was LOOKING for something. I don't have the means to go buy antying &I don't feel so desprate that I would do anything to get one.. I am so fucking confused.
  5. I am on abilify, lamictal, and lexapro. I just realized yesterday the cause of my sinus pressure runny and stuffy nose and occasional sneezing could be allergies. So my mom has given me an allergy pill to find out-it contains the following... acetaminophen, chlorpheniramine, and phenylephrine. Can I take it with my meds? Has anyone here had trouble? Has anyone taken them and are fine? I am know acetaminophen is fine. But what about the other 2?
  6. I have been clean off of Opiates now since October 6th (cold turkey) after a steady 3 years of taking a combo of Perc's & Norco. At my worst I was taking up to 10 Perc 5's a day - my PCP wouldn't up my dose, instead he gave me more of them. When it came time to taper off, my fall back was Norco, which was far from the euphoria of Perc's but it helped take off the edge of coming down & help with my aches and pains. I didn't start out as an addict with pain killers btw -- I was involved in a MVA and due to muscular injuries was prescribed these. In my early 20's I dabbled a bit, taking a couple Perc's and smoking some weed was like being on Mar's but it was an occasional situation not my every day bag of tricks. Anyways, since being on opiates for so many years my brain was on a permanent vacation and I liked it that way, I felt great, on top of the fucking world, nothing could stop me -- it was the perfect mood stabilizing anti-depressant, my mind, body and soul where in sync and never better. I have been diagnosed with -- BPD, Bi-Polar, Manic Depression, PTSD, General Anxiety. I have been through a gauntlet of med's to treat the depression, mania, anxiety and nothing worked well enough for me to stay committed, except Benzo's which I attend to abuse and because they are sedating I need to counteract with anything speedy from Adderall to energy drinks, it's like I am speed-balling through life, however lately without the balance of an opiate I have the very definition of Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, basically I am manic and depressed as all hell. Even on Adderall I could take a nap. I briefly have get up and go, then I have a fuck the world attitude. This is common for anyone withdrawing but more painful if you're already mentally left of center prior to. It feels like it's never going to end for me. I get so sad thinking about never feeling that great again, never not having physically pain, never not knowing what it's like to have my head shut up so I can just be. Needless to say pain killer's became the ultimate escape from it all for me, I felt like I should feel, like a "normal" (balanced) person. On another forum someone posed the question "which is better, depression or opiate use?" It's a catch 22 with opiates you can taper down, with depression it's like herpes, just lingering down beneath the surface ready to pounce you without warning. Now that I have health insurance again I am going to make an appointment with a new PCP -- probably get put on some depakote or an anti-depressant. I know my outlook sucks right now but the urge is something I can't even put in to words, my muscles twitch and my blood itches -- I want it more than I want anything. That's just fucking sad in itself. I am taking 2,000 MG of acetaphetamine and about the same with Ibuprofen, still have muscle aches. Give me a 3 Norco, 2 Fexeril and I'll be mint. Thankfully I have a supportive wife who won't fill the scripts and I am not the type to go out and score stuff on the street, not cause I am afraid, cause I am not a dumbass who is going to drop that much $$ for a couple pills, rather than fill a script for couple bucks. "I'm ok....I'm ok...I'm ok...doin good"
  7. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, I have been clinically depressed ever since I can remember, I got treatment when i was 17, and have been up and down since. I started cutting when I was 17 to deal with stress. It has happened, but less and less frequently over time. However, here I am now four times a day, running into the bathroom at work just to make myself bleed. This in itself is not something I've never done before, but now I am also feeling the need to be numbed. I will take 5-10 prozac like twice a day. Obviously I know I can't OD on it, unless I take like three months. And I'm not trying to I just need to not feel. After I take them at night I always will drink. I get a feeling that I'm almost drunk, but I know I'm not. I know this isn't normal, but it's not horrible right?
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