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Does anybody else feel sick and panicked when somebody goes into their room uninvited? Like, I have nothing to hide sometimes, you can go in my room I just hate it when people come in uninvited or against my will. My mum recently told me to tidy my room which is fine, but she said that afterwards she HAS to go in and I can't do anything to "tidy for me" after this I felt a lot of anxiety and I felt really unsafe. Again, I have nothing to hide (much) and she's been in my room in the past. The last time was when she went in my room and tidied it all without my knowledge. I didn't know where kings where, I didn't know what she'd thrown away and it just felt so wrong. When I walked in my room I had a full on panic attack (an actual attack, not an exaggeration.) and I yelled at her and I couldn't breathe. I just felt so violated suddenly and like I had my privacy and safety taken away from me. by my own MOTHER. I just felt like I should die. I know that sounds so horrible but.. anybody know how to prevent this or relate? Please help!!!!

I had a psych appointment on Wednesday. She canceled on me an hour before. I haven't met with her yet. I haven't seen a psych since November. My general practitioner thinks it's important that I see a psych soon. I was so agitated. But real life stuff happens. And psychs are people who have real lives. I was offered an appointment next week with her resident and I'd meet with the psych an hour after speaking with this stranger I've never met before. I told the scheduler I'm not going to meet with a resident. I'm apprehensive about meeting with a psychiatrist to begin with and I'm not willing to have a student in the meeting. She scheduled me a month later with that note. I got a call about an hour ago telling me that she will not meet with me without a student observing. I of course said that's ridiculous and I won't go. Fuck that. I wrote my general practitioner a letter saying that if I am not able to meet with my practitioners in private I won't go. I guess I have the option of not going. But... It's taken me a great while to be in a place where I'll meet with a psychiatrist. And to give me that ultimatum. It feels decidedly not patient first. I'm scared of going to see a psychiatrist. I'm scared to do a lot of things. But I was finally willing. I feel like I've been pushed back miles. I mean... What a.. I see the value in education. I've had interns sit in with my therapist. I've had residents look at my body alongside my doctor. But to not be given an option. At our first appointment! Our first appointment. It's fucked the fuck up. God damn sane people.

There are things regarding my Mental Health that I need to inform my Pdoc and Tdoc. It does effect my treatment; medications and therapy. However it does not involve self harm or anything of that nature (more on the lines of symptoms they don't know about). I have a fear of 'unwarranted' diagnosis, stemming from past situations that causes major trust issues in telling things to my current team. Basically it is getting harder hiding things from them, and I need to share some symptoms before I go into any kind of crisis (we well as preventing crisis, and just getting correct treatment). To be able to tell them though, I need to feel safe - and I was hoping someone could answer some questions to help me with that.... My Pdoc and Tdoc are on the same care team, can they share information without my permission? My Pdoc visits are only every other month in 15 minute appointments, and I would prefer to get my thoughts and feelings in order with my Tdoc first like she usually helps me with (considering I see her every week - and do this possibly for a month or so) before I discuss it with my Pdoc.I signed papers for both my Pdoc and Tdoc saying if need be, they could 'share my information with my insurance company'...how far does this go and what exactly does this mean?? Like I said, I have a fear of "unwarranted diagnosis" - meaning I have a fear if I talk to my Tdoc about how I go through episodes where I isolate myself and don't take showers for weeks and think people are watching me through my windows, that she is going to diagnose me with 'Psychosis' and send it my my insurance company, which will get back to my GP, which will get to everyone else who is connected to that electronic system (like it did when I was a teenager - I fucking hate the electronic system they use). I'm afraid everything I say will attach a new label to me, and that will be sent to the Insurance company. Is that how it works?It's a mix of anxiety and mistrust - as well as being uneducated of how the system works; which doesn't go well with the current depression I'm in. If anyone knows how it works in the US I would be appreciative.