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I'm trying to figure out if my obsessive rumination behavior is just a part of my depression, or in fact, Pure "O"??? I waste excessive amounts of time stuck in obsessive-compulsive negative rumination thought loops. At moment, unable to suppress, distract, or be present/ myself in interactions & most activities, loss of functioning. Therapy only intensifies this (especially CBT, journaling techniques, talk therapy, trauma processing). I thought OCD was all about the compulsive behaviors listed on DSM & trying to replace triggers (like hand-washing, stove/lock checking, intrusive thoughts about hitting someone driving, Harm OCD) ... All of which i do not have. Even my initial "healthy coping mechanisms" seem Obsessive/ Compulsive: My brain is hijacked. * Obsessively monitoring feelings, thoughts, associations, thinking about trauma/ bad experiences, for hours everyday (can't switch my focus) * Worrying excessively about not being able to take care of myself (physically/mentally/financially) in the future when old * Habitually tracking behavior patterns, mood, sleep, exercise, meals, supplements, symptoms (via diary, spreadsheets, apps) for hours, is unsustainable. * Reading articles & studies about new depression treatments, neuroscience, supplements for hours/ years (unable to engage in other activities). * Seeing a therapist weekly and constantly seeking reassurance/ support on anonymous forums * Meditation turns into a "thinking-avoidance" distraction tactic. * Intensive over-exercising to the point of pain/ exhaustion (to escape mind for an hour) becoming a form of self-punishment. It's as if obsessively analyzing my problems & behaviors will allow me to fix or solve it. For those of you diagnosed with OCD - does this fit the criteria? How is it best treated, with co-morbid severe depression?

I used this site over a decade ago during my first bad episode of OCD and found it really helpful at the time. My OCD was pretty under control for five years and then I had a baby this past June. Postpartum OCD was on my radar due to my history and also because I had four major life stresses/traumas in the two years leading up to the birth of my baby. The first two months with my baby were pretty good - some mild intrusive thoughts but I was able to cope with them. I was so happy, thinking I'd escaped PPD or PPOCD! Then a majorly overwhelming occurrence happened. And suddenly I was catastrophizing about it and things spiraled from there. Over the past few weeks, I started having intrusive thoughts and images about doing bad things. Like many OCD'rs my first course of action was to use logic and I thought 'I've never done anything like that so why would I now?' Of course, that didn't work. I started questioning whether I had done something like that in the past but just didn't remember. Things then got worse. I had an image of me doing something and thought 'was that a memory?' Then I started wondering 'did I question if that was a memory or did I just know it was a memory?' I tried doing some exposure and saying "Okay I did that" and "I know I did that" to myself (not cuz I thought I did it but because I knew I shouldn't fight it). It kinda helped. Then yesterday I had a disturbing image (I'm not even entirely sure what the image was, I just know it upset me) and I immediately thought 'I do remember that' and then started getting really anxious and wondering 'why did I think that? Is that really a memory or is it OCD?' Now I'm wondering if that was a memory and I'm in denial and using OCD as an excuse. At my core, I think this is my OCD but I'm not sure. I'm so scared. Why would I even think 'I do remember that,' if it wasn't actually a memory? But I also know it seems like an OCD thought, especially since I started obsessing a few days ago about whether I had thought "I know I did that" so it makes sense my OCD would then change from "what if" to "that happened." But maybe I'm wrong. My OCD has been really bad in the past. I once was scared of becoming psychotic and told myself I wasn't hallucinating so I couldn't be psychotic. Then I started feeling what felt like raindrops on me when I was inside and was concerned that meant I was experiencing psychosis. (I wasn't!). This was eleven years ago and I only give it as an example of how bad things can get. I'm scared to even write this. I'm so scared someone will think I actually did something bad. Then I'm scared I did do something bad because why else would I have thought 'I remember that.' But I also really don't think it was actually a memory. I don't really believe I did this thing I'm scared of having done. I don't think I have the stomach to actually do it and I don't know why I would do it. I have so many conflicting thoughts, it just doesn't make sense. Does this seem in the realm of OCD? Does anyone else's OCD take on this form? I'm so terrified and I feel so alone right now. I want to be a good mom to my baby but I'm so anxious. I just want to be the happy mom I was for two months and enjoy my baby again. Right now, I just feel "crazy."

Hi all I'm new here. I've dealt with OCD and Severe Panic Attacks for over 35 years. Been thru everything. For the last 10 years I have sailed thru life taking my meds and doing a little cognitive therapy on my own daily. About a year ago I started to lose control again and I can't snap out of it. Has anyone had their meds increased as they went thru menopause ? My other meds for like thyroid issues have increased but I have been on the same meds and dosages since 2000 17 years ago. I hate taking meds and feeling weak but the anxiety is debilitating and I just can't function. Any help is greatly appreciated CK

Hi, this is my first post on in the OCD group. I was diagnosed with OCD about 7 years ago but have been untreated for about 5 of those. I was feeling better and didn't feel like I needed help anymore. Lately, I've been obsessed with the idea that I don't have OCD, but have something else like schizophrenia or some kind of psychotic disorder. It has been pointed out to me that some of my symptoms do actually seem like Pure O OCD and I was just perceiving them as something else because I've had no compulsions outwardly. I always knew about pure O, but for some reason my mind obsessed about the fact that it could be something else which I realize is kind of part of the disorder . Basically, now I feel really stupid and think people are judging me for having these thoughts. It's like this never-ending cycle or questioning myself and self-hatred that I can't stop thinking about because I have OCD! I've been taking Zoloft 75 mg and Risperidone .75 mg per day for these problems. My doctor is going to increase the Zoloft but wanted to wait because I also have ADD and we're starting Adderall so she didn't want to add that and increase the medication at the same time. I have a few questions for other people that have been through this: 1. Does anyone have experience with Zoloft working to control their obsessions? I feel like they aren't going away and I know it takes time and I can increase dosages, but I'm just wondering if anyone has had success with it when finding the correct dose? 2. Has anyone else been prescribed a low dose antipsychotic for their OCD? I have paranoia because of my OCD and we were trying to stop those thoughts. I felt like it was working, but then realized I just became obsessed with other things. So what if I'm taking this medication and don't really need it? Anyone have success with antipsychotics? 3. Can anyone tell me Clomipramine works better for OCD than Zoloft? I just saw that it is almost exclusively used to treat OCD and didn't know if it was something I should ask my doctor about. Thanks for listening. I'm just feeling rather hopeless today. I don't want to get out of bed because something embarrassing happened last night and I obviously can't stop thinking about it. Another question: does anyone else have great difficulty being embarrassed? I feel like all I do is dwell on it for way too long. I am trying to stop. I just have no idea how. I feel like such a loser right now.

Hi everyone, I'm new here, I posted an intro topic which can be found here for anyone who's interested :-) The escitalopram I was using pooped out after 6 years, so I needed to find something new and I saw a psychiatrist recently. I was put on sertraline 10 days ago. So far so good. No real side effects. I'm on 50 mg, that's hardly a therapeutic dose, right? I want to go to 100 or a little more, and see how it goes. What he also said that I could take quetiapine / Seroquel 'as needed'. Never heard of this but I suppose since he's the doctor he would know. Are there any people here who take an anti-psychotic 'as needed'? I won't see this pdoc anytime soon....he only does consultations for my general doctor's office, so I can't ask more questions. I don't know if I have to wait for the sertraline to kick in? My issues: I call it 'stuck thought syndrome' because the classic Pure O is more about scary/bizarre/agressive/sexual thoughts and I don't have these. But it has become a big obsession for me to get rid of a certain unwanted thought. It's really intrusive, it comes back often, I get anxious, I try to find solutions, ruminate about it all the time...It's always the same thought bugging me and after 10 years of therapy I'm still not able to let it go. I have a big aversion to this thought so that is probably why it keeps coming back. Fluvoxamine pooped out on me in 2010, but helped me a lot, later on escitalopram was helpful....but with sertraline I can't tell yet. I hope it will work, and I really dread the antipsychotics because of side effects. I don't know if I'm going to gain weight on it but I really don't want to. But maybe I don't need to worry about this side effect because I just take it whenever this thought comes back and gets stuck again? The pdoc said it's a really good med for getting thoughts 'loosen up' and 'unstuck'. Could be just what I need!

Anyone out there suffer from morbid obsessions that are apparently Pure O related (no real compulsions)? This can be thoughts of harming others or self in horrible ways, commiting atrocious crimes, or otherwise totally inappropriate thoughts that cause great distress because you know you would never do something like that. Here is a link which begins with a more detailed description of this phenomenon: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-violent-obsessions/ If anyone out there deals with this, have you found any good coping methods?

Obesessive compulsive psychosis? No, it isn't something I'm diagnosed with. As far as i know it isn't a "thing", though it may possibly be. I don't know. I pulled it out of my ass. It describes what happens when my ocd starts to flare so much that it tiptoes to the line of mild psychosis and kind of stops there, taunting for a while, pointing it's finger: "i'm not touching you, I'm not touching you! hahaha". At least that's how it can start. I got this job, a part time job, and it's great. I can see that. It is a good job and a good place with good people. But its been really stressful. It's new and the POS is actually pretty complicated, more complicated than any I've dealt with and I feel stupid. And lately the OCD stuff, the obsession stuff had been starting up badly again anyway. I'm doing everything wrong. Like, everything. What I say, how I hold a pen, how I walk, how I breathe, where I put a piece of paper. I don't mean like social anxiety. I mean there is a right way to do EVERY SINGLE THING A PERSON DOES. But I can't constantly be trying out ways to do stuff. Everyone talks about me because I am doing these things wrong, because I am wrong, because I don't belong. See Luna's Top Ten List of Pure O Thoughts and Thought Patterns for reference ANd I know some of that sounds really mild. And it can be, when it's mild, just floating around, not hammering on my brain every second. But we're talking ocd here. Try to not think of a pink elephant and all you think of is a pink elephant. When it's bad, IT'S BAD. And work... work is getting bad. I feel like I'm always wrong, and I'm getting convinced I'm going to be fired, that they don't believe what I put on my application, and I'm also kind of getting afraid of one of the managers specifically there. I think he doesn't like me, doesn't want me there, and wants me to be fired. Any of which may be true, but there's NO way i can know any of it, and that's the stickiness of the situation. I can't know it, but I feel it to be true anyway. It's disrupting my functioning. I wasn't sleeping well before and I'm still not. I was nearly crying yesterday at the register. I'm rearranging things a long and it's troublesome, I don't often do that a lot. I put in a call to my tdoc and pdoc. This isn't an emergency but it's urgent, so I hope they understand that. I'm so frustrated. I want to be normal and have a job and I'm scared I just can't do that right now. It would be such a disappointment if I can't. But how much fear should I go through and anxiety and sadness to keep up a job or other people's expectations or mine even? I don't know. I'm scared and sad. I just could use some support if anyone has some to give.

I'm wanting to know about how others think of this or can explain - If the site is correct or not ( i'm not sure if i'm allowed to link it or not) I thought Pure O was quite common with OCD (er's ) My OCD is quite bad today - so i've gone on a googling craze and anxiety is high..

I've been wondering lately what the difference is between severe GAD and Pure O. Is it the nature of the worries? OCD-grade obsessions often are very outlandish and go beyond the ordinary day-to-day worries of most people, so I suppose that might be it. Any thoughts? I have both GAD and OCD. I have your standard OCD, but my generalized anxiety worries are actually much more like cyclical obsessions--however, most of them are about garden variety things. Health, money, death, aging, parents dying, family members getting hurt, getting hit by a car, falling into train tracks, public embarrassment, weight gain, etc. etc.