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Are there any reclusives here ? I have been a quasi recluse for 17 years and a complete recluse for 10 I just very recently discovered forum boards and discussion groups , per my Doctors orders , he says I need to socialize , but its a bit overwhelming to me , seeing and comunicating with people . I am not sure if it healthy for me , I get my feelings hurt sometimes , because I am so far behind in everything it seems , How does one go about socializing on social media , what are some tips ? And if your a recluse I would like to know I am not all alone .
Hey CB -- The purpose of this post, I suppose, is both to vent and ask for other people's experiences to gauge if my behavior is " normal " for MI. I'm not even sure if I have friends. Well, that's not true. I actually have an extensive social circle, with different groups of friends comprising them. I don't really know how it happened, other than I've known them all for over a decade and we really, really, really like to party. So I have very close relationships with many people, despite being an incredibly introverted person. Anyway, the set up. The reason I say I'm not sure if I have friends is because obviously in my depressions, I become an introverted, reclusive asshole and can't be found. I don't even pick up my phone or answer texts. I'm not sure why, I just don't. Of course, when I'm manic, I can stay out hours, days, weeks, months at a time (rapid-cycler). And they like that Alice. If I'm wrangled out in my depression, I'm rather silent and frankly, a different person. You know how the game goes. It's not like my MI is a secret, not at all. I always manically say, "well, I'm bipolar as shit!" and "I've been on antipsychotics for years!" So they are aware. And, *usually*, there aren't many problems (although I don't think they truly understand that those statements are related to my time away from them). The thing is: sometimes, after a time, I feel like I lose them as friends (especially women, as they require more day-to-day friendship maintenance than males do). Sometimes they're vocal about it, jokingly yelling at me for being distant, missing events, etc. They stop inviting me to come over, or out for events. But it seems like I always find my way back, eventually, and it's as if nothings changed. But I can tell we aren't nearly as close as we once were. And it troubles me deeply. I miss my friends. I miss my social life. But it's also so exhausting to me. It doesn't help that my best and most understanding friend, which whom I am basically in her family (her family is staying, thank GOD), is moving away, 15 hours away, with her baby daddy and my godson. I'm heartbroken. She leaves tomorrow. What will I do without her? Insights, experiences? All and anything is welcome. Sorry if it was too long. --Alice
Hello. I am reaching out thru this site for a go to place where people are interesting, real, and understand the stress of being mentally ill. I take life too seriously - family loves to be around me when they need help, advise, a "loan", a place to stay. Ah, but when I am too mentally down to assist others, then I am judged and ignored. My dad says I was born an old soul - that I never acted like a carefree child. I see life thru dark colored glasses - my depression making life often appear more stressful and dreary than it is. I live in a beautiful part of upstate New York in a very rural community. During some periods of my life I see the beauty and goodness in my life. But even as a child I would have reclusive times when my bedroom with a book was my only comfort zone. I was always a perfectionist - which I try to be kind about, but can see how annoying some find it. It drives me crazy sometimes. Cookies need to be same size and darkness. Plants can't be lopsided. Clothes need to be folded with seams matched. If person or a pet is sick I got into high gear out of anxiety and am jokingly called "Nurse Nancy". I have rescued many cats and kittens brought to me for I literally lose sleep over them in my attempt to save them. Mood swings abound. The strictness of my religious upbringing caused me to feel like a sinner/loser - thus my attempt to be a good girl and not disappoint others. Spiritual peace is one of many discoveries I am searching for. The death of my Mom in a farm accident when I was 17 increased my struggle with depression, anxiety, insomnia, and a form of PTSD. I finally sought the help of a psych Doctor at 25 yrs old when I had postpartum psychosis. Had great success with a tricyclic, but 5 yrs later my liver said no more. Psych meds and I have had a constant battle every since. I have tried ECT and TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) without relief. 4 yrs ago I attempted suicide. Currently I am on Ativan and muscle relaxers to sleep. I take natural supplements and go to talk therapy bi-weekly. I started receiving disability in June 2013. I am in search of a new Psychiatrist who accepts Medicare which comes with being disabled. Living in a rural area makes finding a good doctor a bit daunting. I have a loving, supportive son. Thanks for reading my rambling saga. I am going by the name "Showtime"