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  • May The Road Rise To Meet You — Moving on from CrazyBoards
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  1. I am really sick right now and need some guidance. A bit of a saga... I mainly took Xanax in very low doses .125-.25 as needed for several years. I would go through periods of a constant panic feeling, take Xanax and beta blockers, feel better then wean myself off. Then just kept taking the Xanax as needed. Usually for hangovers which I know now is not the best. In Oct. 2013, I took diphenhydramine and dextromethorphan for a cold and had to go to the ER. I was messed up with a crazy reaction! After that, the constant panic feeling was back. I did the Xanax/beta-blocker thing again and by early Dec. I was feeling fine. Then I took a Xanax before Christmas and my world turned upside down. After that one, I felt worse than ever. The worst constant panic/adrenaline. I took up to 1mg once and it did nothing. I was told by a natural health Facebook group I was in "tolerance" and that I had to taper. My dr told me to keep taking more even though it wasn't really working. My usual dose at that time was .5-.6mg quite a bit more than I was used to taking. And nothing was killing the adrenaline feeling. I started the taper at .8mg and it was a nightmare for the first few months. I was so sick, like a heroin addict getting clean. Tons of adrenaline. The taper lasted 1 year and got much better 6-7 months in. After the taper, I continued to have nights with the adrenaline. Every month or 2 with no apparent trigger. I'd go to sleep, then wake up with adrenaline surges, vomiting, diarrhea, shaking, fear, panic, lasting until morning. Then I'd be tired but fine. In April, the bad nights wouldn't stop. I was diagnosed with "adrenal disfunction" from an integrative dr. It was very hard, but I finally got better (using only natural things) in July, and now I'm sick again like I was but even worse! My therapist is threatening to put me in the mental hospital because I can't eat or sleep. I'm suicidal. None of this is mental when it starts! It's just pure fight or flight adrenaline. For hours and hours. Every morning until the afternoon. Then every other night starting around 12am. It's cyclical. My therapist wants me to try a benzo again. I have Xanax still, and my mom has Valium. Probably expired but still. Just not sure what to do, what it is, what's going on. I feel fucked. If you made it this far, thank you!
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