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Found 21 results

  1. I relapsed today. After over a year of being clean. I’m super stressed out about a test and my mind immediately went to self harm. So I did it. I’m sad.
  2. I was self harm free for 6 months and then I relapsed and I feel really bad about it. I haven't been able to get up the courage to tell my therapist because I'm scared of being put back into the hospital. Any advice?
  3. My friend went off of his meds about 1.5 years ago. He claimed that he was incorrectly diagnosed because he has not had a "relapse" since. He suffered through 8 different hospitalizations in 9 months but has been out since. He was Dxed with Bipolar I, most recent episode manic, with psychotic features by five different P-docs. Our question is is 1.5 years without a relapse normal for BP I? Was he incorrectly Dxed? He claims that his normal up and downs do not exceed the point where he needs to be inpatient and that the doctors incorrectly Dxed him.
  4. I've been clean since my last slip up in November, before that I can't remember when I did it, it was over 6 months. Today I'm feeling super on edge and I keep thinking about hurting myself. I'm trying not to, but I feel like it might help. I don't know who to turn to, my boyfriend is away and nobody else knows about it, except my ex, and well, I don't want to go there. I'm trying so hard to fight the urge to do it. The last relapse was the worst I've ever done it and it scared the shit out of me, I guess not for long..
  5. I used to cut myself a lot. I never did a lot of damage, but it got to the point where I felt like I couldn't stop. I've been doing better for a long time, but a recent wave of anxiety and depression has me tempted to relapse. I hate admitting that I still have this problem in my twenties. I guess I was hoping it was something I could grow out of. Thanks for listening. Any advice or encouragement would be more than welcome. Is there someone else that feels this way?
  6. Hi, I've never posted on a site like this before so please correct me if I do anything wrong. I'm at a stage in my life where I don't have any friends I can confide in, and the last time my family found out I got screamed at so I'm not about to do that. Thus why I'm hoping posting here can help me a little. I have self harmed for about 7 years now. And as I get older I seem to get stupider and the self harm gets worse. It went from just scratches to digging motions to burning to losing control and finding myself with entire limbs dripping in blood. I so desperately want to st
  7. I've been in remission for a few months now, but recently I've fallen quickly into a total relapse: where I'm doing ALL the behaviours I was doing when my ED was at its worst originally, the excessive exercise and the extreme restriction. I think it's because the stress and anxiety I'm feeling has built up so much that I've displaced it all onto food, I'm not really sure. But how has anyone on here ever dealt with a full blown relapse? I don't want to end up back where I was. I want to try to pull myself out before it gets TOO bad. Where do I start though: the behaviours or the thoughts?
  8. So i tried out some of my old mindfulness techniques. these were ones i learned back when i was diagnosed with ocd. as it turns out, me saying that these techniques stopped working to all my psychologists and psychiatrists, was actually just me not doing it like i did when it did work. what i mean by this is, i was supposed to 'label things i saw'. and go 'oh that's just the .... thought' when an intrusive thought came up. that worked when i was undergoing ocd treatment at least. and i think it didn't work before, because i attempted to do it 'on the go' when i really needed to just sit d
  9. Hi All, I have posted on here awhile back before but haven't been back. I don't know, maybe I feel like I don't have a "real" addiction, like this is more of an "acting out" thing and/or a BPD self-harm thing than actual "addiction." However, over the past 18 months of so, I have struggled off and on with DXM abuse (cough medicine that has a dissociative/mild hallucinogenic effect, maybe like ecstasy... don't know for sure because I have never tried ecstasy or "harder" drugs than pot.) I am embarrassed because this is commonly abused by mainly teenagers-- and I am 30 and never used
  10. So I just relapsed after 2 years. Some of you may have seen my exboyfriend post. WELL he unfriended me on facebook-probably because of some stuff I was going through that may have been over the top. And I sent him a message and friend request. He ignored me.... so I thought. And that hurt me bad because I have no friends. I felt like he was gonna ditch me like everyone else does.Turns out due to it being 4th of July he was out really late but his computer was left on so it LOOKED like he had seen the message but he didn't. At least that's what he's saying. And he's on his phone. So I cut for n
  11. So, I'm quite new here, but anyways. I got depressed and started cutting when I was 11, tried to commit suicide and all that during the next 4 years. I went through a therapy. When I was 15 I was completely fine, there were lows, and thoughts of self injury, but hey, it's normal isn't it ? Now I am 17, and I went to Asia for an exchange programm. I'm here since ten month. And I was abstinence from self harm around two years. I faced some problems here, I was sexual abused for example, but I don't have issues with that, I mean hello ? I'm not a victim, and I could protect myself, so hey, I
  12. Hi there, I'm new to this website and I just had a relapse for the first time in a month. I have a bit of a story to go with it, so bear with me for a few lines? I went to a mental hospital for ten days at the beginning of March, and when I got out, they put me on Prozac and right into counselling. Well, I figured out in my session yesterday that I had been sexually abused not once, but twice in my childhood by two different parties. Needless to say, I have been dwelling on it and I'm very, very affected by this. I haven't cut since I went into the hospital (having gone there with cuts
  13. 3 weeks ago we moved across the state. The husb decided to transfer to a different department (I supported that decision wholly), however we only had a few weeks to find a place to live (plus find a moving company, get a loan to pay for breaking our lease plus pay for security deposit on the new place, etc...). Those few weeks of searching for a new home were a nightmare. We started filling out transfer/change-of-address forms two different times for two different places, but due to incompetent realtors and a husband and wife that weren't communicating with each other about their pet p
  14. So....I relapsed about a week ago after approximately two months of sobriety. I have been seeing a Substance Abuse Counselor for almost three months now, with whom I decided to be sober for a period of time before attempting moderation management, which seemed like the best idea. Anyways, about 3 weeks ago I began moderation management, but not with a very black & white set of rules for myself to follow. I drank twice without blacking out, feeling the need to drink significantly more, and handled myself appropriately though I was somewhat visibly intoxicated. I didn't feel that these w
  15. I used a lot in high school and the combination of my drug abuse and mental illness landed me in the hospital multiple times. I eventually was able to get clean by going to NA and treating my MI. Somehow I stopped getting treatment, but kept going to meetings. I stayed clean for 8 years and one day it happened I tried a drink. And I waited and the world didn't fall apart the skies didn't open up and I didn't become a crazy drunk like I used to be. I was able to maintain "casual" drinking for 4 years, and when i say casual I mean about once a month or so, until I had to quit because I went
  16. Hello everyone, I'm new here and I'm completely terrified. I had a very extensive drug history when I was younger and I am very proud to say that I was able to get myself clean without the help of rehab (I tried once before, but it failed) 6 months after I got clean I fell pregnant with my daughter and I can honestly say she's kept me on the straight and narrow. I more or less replaced my addiction to drugs with an addiction to doing things with my daughter, which isn't really a bad thing. When I'm having a bad day and start thinking about things I shouldn't, I take her out and we have a girl
  17. I've done it again, and I hate myself as much as I did before, if not more. My brain is caught in an endless cycle. 1) I hate the way I am. 2) Cutting has always helped release negative energy. 3) Cut. 4) Hate myself more because they're gross and ugly and disgusting and ew Rinse and repeat. I can't stand myself. I feel weak. I feel like less of a person because I can never be strong enough to recover. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at everyone around me because they know, but can't help. I just can't do this alone, and I feel so damn alone.
  18. I'm really gutted about this, because before today I hadn't cut in three months. I know that three months isn't really a long time, but considering I used to SI every day, it was a really big victory for me to manage to stop. And now I've ruined that... I just feel really awful right now, because real life is so overwhelming that I feel like I'm drowning all the time. I'm having side effects from the Lofepramine, my migraines have come back, and I've just been told that the waiting list for CBT is four months, so I'm don't even have a therapist I can talk to about this. And now I've gon
  19. Hi all I just wondered whether anyone had statistics on relapse rates after weaning off Lithium. I stopped on the 13th Jan after reducing from 800mg in early December and all I can find on the net is that relapse rates can be between 2-4 times more likely on a reduction schedule of less than two weeks. Has anyone found that there is a particular danger zone relapse-wise in weeks or months and what effects to expect, withdrawal or relapse-wise? Do you have a better long-term prognosis if it takes longer to relapse? I.e. does the danger fade with time? Thanks!
  20. I haven't had a drink for about 10 months now and I thought I was doing great. But, a few months ago my pdoc put me on a couple of meds that cause weight gain, and he warned me that I might get cravings. No alcohol cravings, but I do have wicked ones for sweets. I have gained a bit of weight and my SO is picky about such things. He's been reacting the way he did when I was drinking: by trying to control what I do, making snide comments if he catches me eating something he doesn't think I should eat. I know he means well but (as I tried to tell him with the booze) it just makes things worse.
  21. As many surely can attest to, quitting your APs will very likely quickly get you back into psychosis, in many cases. From what I've read, when used over a prolonged period of time, these drugs create a dependence in the brain by altering certain chemical reactions. Quitting the medication abruptly will make the brain react with "chaos" to the sudden change in brain chemistry. This brings the brain back into a similar chaos as before starting the medication, and thus bringing forth a new psychotic episode. I've personally experienced this at least one time. The first time was when I quit Zy
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