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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
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  1. It's been a long while since my last visit here, and even longer since last writing anything. I don't know where to write this, or even what to write, but there really is no one else to talk to. So... long story short, I attempted suicide about 6 months ago (not my first try), and obviously, failed at that, again. I have been in a relationship more or less 5 years now, and I guess I can summarize that into "it's complicated". Things have been going from bad to worse since the suicide attempt. To a point that few weeks ago, my (I don't know what to call him, "partner"?) was violent towar
  2. Second post on this forum (woohoo!), but, I was wondering if anyone has any advice for smoothing out a relationship between two bipolar people. My fiance and I have been together for nearly three years now, engaged for almost two of those years, we're both under the age of 25 (but over 18), we live together, and we're both bipolar. She has Type I and I'm just recently diagnosed Type II. Both our diagnosis(es?) have been in the past year, and we've both been trying medicines (her first, then me as my dx came months after); she is presently unmedicated. We both see the same psychologist but diff
  3. Hey yall I wanted to get some better insight on a situation. I am set to see a therapist in a few weeks, I just wanted to see if I was overthinking the situation or how I should try to cope with it better. My fiance and I live together with my parents under the same roof. My fiance goes to grad school and I study at home and volunteer to build my career. In the past, my fiance and my folks got along really well together and are friends. Lately though it seems like they are being more critical of my fiance. After thinking about it, I am beginning to think that it is mostly my parents bein
  4. I'm mostly looking for advice at this moment on how to foster and encourage my significant other's (soon to be married) interests. She seems to want to share a lot of things with me, such as things about other people and all; however, when it comes to her interests, she tells me about them but doesn't include me in them. I know she tries but she also gives up if she even perceives that I'm not interested. Often times it isn't a lack of interest but rather that I may be having a bad day or an having difficulties with things and processing. (I have Cerebral Palsy and multiple mental health diagn
  5. I've been in this relationship for 5 years. We have a baby boy together. Much of the time we are happy together and are compatible. We want the same things out of life. I made a post on here over 2 years ago talking about domestic violence. He was violent towards me a lot. It was not just pushing and slapping. It was very, very violent (though nothing broken thankfully). It got better for a while. Then it returned and got better again. There's been a lot of arguing though, but that got better as well. He certainly has issues with anger, and I always believed it could be worked out with medicat
  6. Hi there! Recently a new girl has started work, and I've taken a liking to her. The trouble with this is that I've walled myself off from other people for around 7 years. I've been managing to deal with my illness by not talking to other people, not having friends, not having a partner. I wasn't looking for anything with this new girl, but unfortunately, my body has had other ideas. I've been hit by a wave of emotions for her that I'm just not able to deal with. What makes it worse is that she's been seeing a guy for 14 years and there's no chance that we will ever get together.
  7. Hi all, I'm currently having real difficulty at work and with a lot of my other relationships. The issue is that I'm constantly being talked over and really have to fight to be heard at all. I stutter slightly so that doesn't help me, and no-one seems to give a fuck most of the time. At work it is particularly bad because my bosses will start to talk over me before I've finished half a sentence. This is an issue because I work as a software developer and communication is key to getting my job done. The issue is so bad at work that every Sunday before I go to work I get
  8. Has anyone here come to realize the moments when you are projecting in a relationship? By Projection, I mean the behavior where you do not accept your own thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings as your own. These "unwanted" feelings or thoughts are dealt with by being projected / placed outside of yourself or attributed to someone else... I've noticed (as a chronically depressed, anxious, highly-sensitive person) that I have a habit of often projecting, and misinterpreting other's behavior as critical, unloving, uncaring, angry and disapproving...when in fact, these are the constant
  9. My fiance has been losing weight recently. He's down 20 lbs and is like 228 lbs now. I've gained weight, but it was also that time of the month. I kinda go after chubby dudes as is, and always worry if they weigh less than me I become unnattractive. His affection towards me hasn't really gone down, it's stayed the same really. I tell him my concerns of me gaining while he's losing, and he says he'll love me no matter what. And that he also doesn't want me skinnier, he just wants me to be happy. But, at the same time he thinks my best friend is too big, [she's considered a SSBBW i'm a BBW if an
  10. I hate how my anxiety makes me overthink everything. Here lately, my relationship especially. It intrudes into my head and it makes me wanna say, "who do you think you are, coming into my head, and making me feel these negative thoughts?!" Like, really, who!? That might sound strange, but it's truly how I feel. I hate feeling unsure of my relationship. It makes me feel ill. I've been trying to take my meds consistently lately, I missed the day I had counseling...which is odd because we talked about my inconsistency of taking my meds. We've been together a little over a year now, whi
  11. My partner died 3 months ago of a heroin overdose. It was extremely traumatic, as you can imagine. He is not my first partner to pass away in this manner. He and I unfortunately only got to be together for 3 months and it was unlike any relationship I had ever had. I let my guards down and allowed myself to be loved and I truly loved him. Our relationship was amazing until he relapsed. It was recognized to me by many people after he died that our relationship was very unique and that not many people get to have something like that ever. He was my soul mate. I was with a man for 5 years and nev
  12. Ok I got dealt in again. Coke, X, Beer, but the X ended it. Recurring not so often but maybe 8 years ago this happened on Research Chemicals. This=relationship issue. What kind? I have no clue. Ok ironed out plain and simple about 8 years ago I had a chance to get to know someone I really liked. I took some research chemicals and ended up telling her off for no reason because I was messed up. Now here we are 8 years later I do some X and another person I wanted to get to know I told her off too because I was messed up. The first girl ended it with me. This girl well she did too, except somehow
  13. I've not really been on in awhile. So, some things have changed though. I finally stopped accusing my boyfriend of cheating on me. Literally, one day I just told myself I was going to stop. And I did. When I would begin to worry, I would ask myself if he was actually at work late (and if I didn't believe myself, I'd call. If he didn't answer his cell, he was at work. If I needed more assurance. I called his work, which they don't really care if I just ask if he's about to leave.) He's even given me his time cards (they bring them home everyday.) And he made a good point, he goes to work,
  14. Day two of a hypomanic episode and idk how much longer I can deal with it. On top of that I got into a fight with a friend that ended with him saying that I'm dead to him. Taking tomorrow off work to see my psych but I'm worried I won't get in. Have any of you called in last minute? I'm worried about that more than anything. I know I'll deeply regret burning another bridge but right now I just want to focus on feeling better.
  15. i've been gone for a good minute, over the holidays i moved, after my eviction, i met a wonderful man, who i'm already having my worries about. he's 22 years older, 42, i'm 20. was born in the 70s, lived mostly through the 80s to well of course now, and i'm already having my doubts....like normal. fuck anxiety. really. always worrying about if he's being faithful, if he'll leave, if he loves me, or i love him, what's going to happen for/with us? the main two questions REFUSING TO STOP MAKING GOD DAMN CAMP IN MY HEAD "do i really love him?" "is he being faithful?" the
  16. One of my symptoms of BP is hyper sexuality. Before I was diagnosed this led to an extramarital affair. When I read about people's experiences they all had more than one partner, but I had only one though I went back to him repeatedly. I also engaged in online sex chat and definitely masturbated A LOT! Has anyone else been in the situation where they only had one extramarital affair as opposed to many? My husband seems to think there had to be many so he's having a hard time believing there was only one, albeit the same one multiple times.
  17. Hi, I'm in the midst of a manic episode and it is driving my wife crazy. We're already taking steps to set up family counseling to help us deal with this. In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to stop straining the relationship? I'm already doing my best to 'dial it back', but I'm not having that much success so far. Some of my symptoms are pressured speech, increased sexuality (in the form of seeking out other partners... we have an open relationship), going after other jobs, latching on to ideas and friggin' running with them at about 1000%, etc. As
  18. So after my boyfriend went to work I was running non stop trying to do some errands. I left my phone in the car for a few, and when I ran out to get it my boyfriend was calling me for the third time in a row and I had a few missed texts from him. He started screaming about how I was trying to start a fight with him, how he was frustrated at work and about to tell his boss off and get fired from me, and like everytime I upset him by missing his calls his hands were shaking uncontrollably. This is his usual reaction if I miss a call or text from him. I know probably none of you are psychi
  19. Hey, Not strictly a relationship question because I'm also curious how people discuss this with friends. (But there's no board for that?) I've started sharing poetry with a critique group that overlaps with my social group. I write mostly about mental illness, often about psychosis. So, I'm starting to tell more people I know about my past. I'm also kind of emotionally processing it, which is why I'm focusing on it in writing. My most recent diagnosis is schizoaffective, which sounds scary to many people. Especially because it involved psychosis. How have yo
  20. I'm fun, smart, and pretty, but I can't help but wonder, "am I doomed to die alone?" Actually, the real question here is, "Is it fair to ask someone to choose a life with Mood Swings and Mania?"
  21. Hi all, First off- sorry if something like this has already been posted. I went back through the forum a bit and didn't find anything exactly like this. And anyway maybe people have updates. But, hope it's not too repetitive. In the past couple months I've met some people I click with enough to date. I'm poly, so I date multiple people in an ethical way (I'm not manic, and it's not about sex. Everybody knows about each other, and is on the same page.) I'm in the early stages of dating two different women. I also have an on-going flirtation with a guy, but so far we haven't ev
  22. Hey guys, I'm new to the forums so if that's the wrong section to post such thread then tell me to move it elsewhere. Whenever I get really close to someone, my "evil" side tends to completely ruin it and burn it to the ground. Is there any explanation?
  23. Hello Everyone, I have bipolar 1 disorder and want to talk about an issue that bothers me to no end. I have been taken advantage of by people who I was either a friend with, had intimate relationships with, people have lied about my character and have gotten away with it, people have pushed themselves away from me due to several reasons and have yelled at me on several occasions. I am a strong person by nature, however I believe that the outcome of my relationships with people have been a cause of weakness due to the nature of this illness. It has ripped me alive, like so many others may agree
  24. I have been in a relationship with a great girl for about 9 months. I have been seeing a therapist for a while and recently started celexa 10mg. I know it will take a while for it to kick in, but I am afraid of never will. A couple of months ago, I was completely crazy about my girlfriend. She went away for about 10 days, and when she returned I started to get anxious around her. There are times when I don't want to kiss her or see her, and I feel so guilty about it. I have lost interest in a lot of things, and I can't even remember things I enjoy doing. My therapist tells me it will go away
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