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  1. I have posted many times here (since I signed up), but didn't decide to take the step to tell my doctor until now (mainly because I have been psychotic for so many time and because alter 2 didn't want to) Finally I am telling my pdoc. I wrote him a 3 page letter (is it too much? I am worried I am being over demanding?). In the letter I explain this but with more details and examples and how it began and how it has been since I am 13: 1. Function in diarly tasks, social, emotional, more anxious, more obsessive, more communication with fragments that holds memories, ... 2. Focused on studying, more serious, less interested in social activities, less or none communication with fragments that holds memories... The two communicate, there is not memory loss between them, but there is memory loss when I am 2. and I have to remember what 1. talked about with the fragments. 2. doesn't remember what fragments did inside the head. And mainly three fragments: 1. Fight and hold some memories of physical abuse, paranoid and aggressive (Draco, a child, 7-9 years old). 2. Flight and shy, hold memories of abuse (physical and emotional). (Ashley, Draco's twin) 3. She doesn't have a name and completely freeze up, hold memories of sexual abuse, often secreams and doesn't talk too much. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It makes me ashamed, I feel like I am faking, but I am not. I am worried he won't believe it, or think I am faking or being delusional. Moreover, last time I saw him (Friday 20) I told him I was dissociating more and he asked me about derealization/depersonalizaton... I told him it was complex dissociating but couldn't explain it. I gave him a letter at the end of the session were I explained some about this complex dissociation, but it didn't have details about alter egos and fragments (he asked me if he could read the letter, I had written it for myself to have something to tell him, but I wrote it while was the alter 1 and during the session I was alter 2 so I was confused and couldn't explain myself). He seemed confused but wanted to understand (I guess that's why he asked me if he could keep the letter) what I mean because I told him it was different from the entities and voices (psychosis), I told him It was something "internal". Maybe he doesn't know about complex disssociation? I am afraid he doesn't know about it and thinks I am delusional or have a personality disorder, but once he told me I dissociate a lot and doesn't have a personality disorder. I am giving him the 3 page long with all details on Monday and I see him on Friday. If you have any advice, idea... help... I am really afraid, and confused... I moved from psychosis... got better... then post psychosis depression... got better... and now dissociation appears again. I never get well.
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