Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'schizoaffective disorder'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
    • Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
    • Depression - Let a WHAT Be My Fucking Umbrella? (Sod You, Perry Como)
    • Self-injury - The Cutting Board
    • Personality Disorders - Fuck Off! No, Wait. Fuck Me Now!
    • Eating Disorders - Hell's Kitchen
    • Substance Abuse / Addictive Behavior - 8-balls, Highballs, Deal Me in One Last Time
    • Panic / Anxiety Disorders - What, Me Worry?
    • PTSD and Trauma- Duck and Cover. Again and Again.
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Click Here Repeatedly
    • Social Phobia - Behind Paranoid Eyes
    • Dissociative Disorders - Now where was I?
    • Schizophrenia and Various Psychoses -- Jesus Had a Twin Who Knew Nothing About Sin
    • ADD/ADHD - Could You Say That Again? I Was Listening to My Head.
    • Autistic Spectrum Disorders - What Part of English Don't You Understand?
    • Migraines and Other Headaches - Not Tonight, Dear
    • Neuropathic and Chronic Pain
    • Seizure Disorders - Shake, Rattle and Roll
    • Sleep Disorders - Perchance to Dream
    • Allergies: Benadryl? No, But I Have a Cousin Who Was a Dremel.
    • Hormone and Glandular Problems - How Do You Make a Hormone? Kick Her in the Ankle.
    • Not Otherwise Specified - Put your finger on your NOS, on your NOS
  • Meds and Other Crap That Make Life Tolerable
    • Anticonvulsants / Mood Stabilizers - Bodies A-Twitchin', Moods A-Switchin'
    • Antidepressants - If You're Crappy and You Know It
    • Cocktails - Medicated to the Gills and Floundering
    • Antipsychotics / Neuroleptics / Major Tranquilizers - The Acme Pill-O-Matics
    • Miscellaneous Medications & Miscellaneous Questions About Meds
    • Benzodiazepines - Take a Chill Pill!
    • CNS Stimulants - Warped & Wired
    • Side Effects - It Turned Me into a Newt! A Newt? I Got Better.
    • What The Hell is THAT? - Medical, Nutritional, and Lifestyle Alternatives
    • Therapy - The Other Half of the Puzzle
    • ECT etc. - Watt's up, Doc?
  • Crap You Read About
    • Academic Interests - Geek Out While You Freak Out
    • Books Reviews - Self Help and Otherwise
  • Life Cycle: Mate Spawn and Die
    • Family Feud
    • Parenting/Pregnancy/Childhood Issues - Nature or Nurture
    • Relationship Issues - Crazy For Loving You
    • Aging Issues: Hot Flashes and Hot Rods? Midlife Crisis, Menopause, and Beyond
    • Spirituality - Luminous Beings Are We, Not This Crude Matter
    • Grief, Death and Dying
  • Your Crappy Life
    • The Health Care System Sucks!
    • Law, Money, and Employment -- Send Lawyers Guns and Money
    • Technology Sucks! - Luddites Unite!
    • News and Politics - Next on Sick Sad World
    • People Suck!
    • Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgendered Issues - Out of the Closet and Out of Our Minds
    • Intro to Being a Crazy Student - Whatsamatta U
    • The Confessional
    • I've *Still* Got Issues!
  • Other Crap
    • Whatever
    • I Got the Good Stuff Here
  • Generic Forum Crap
    • Board News - Incoming Message from The Big Giant Head
    • Suggestion Board - I'm Sorry Dave, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That
    • New User Info - It's Not Easy Being Green
    • Introductions - Who The Hell Are You?
    • Moderators - Pay No Attention to the People Behind the Curtain
    • Test Board - Do Not Push the Big Red Button!
  • Coronavirus: Because You Don’t Have Enough Crap On Your Mind
    • I Need An Adult!: Where to Find Accurate Information
    • Has Anyone Told the Amish?: Covid-19 in the Media
    • Social Distancing: I’ve Never Felt Closer to You
    • Telemedicine: Is This Thing On? Getting the Most Out of Screen Time With Your Doctor
    • Oh, No, I Couldn’t... Well, Maybe Just One More: Hoarding. Or, uh, Being Prepared
    • Casual Everyday: How to Stop Watching Cat Videos and Get Some Work Done At Home
    • Absolutely No One Walked Into a Bar: Best of Coronavirus Humor
    • But I Need a Damn Haircut: When You Don’t Have the Virus, But You’re Still Falling Apart
    • Countin’ Flowers On the Wall: So Bored We Need a Board For It

Find results in...

Find results that contain...

Date Created

  • Start


Last Updated

  • Start


Filter by number of...


  • Start





Website URL







Found 19 results

  1. Just an update based on my posts earlier during this year. I ultimately wound up remaining on the oral antipsychotic (Latuda 20mg) which I started taking after completing my 2nd probation term in this decade in January 2018 stemming from a January 2015 motor vehicle offense which ultimately slammed me with a 3rd degree felony (after already acquiring a misdemeanor for resisting arrest on foot in June 2012) related to having schizoaffective disorder and experiencing manic episodes and hallucinations. I was previously diagnosed with Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features after the 1st incident I was involved in back in June 2012. My main issue the entire time I was serving both probation terms was that I was always court ordered by a judge to continue taking the antipsychotics by injection and to continue my psychological treatment. My primary concerns with the antipsychotic medication was always having intolerable akathisia (inability to sit still), tremendous amounts of weight gain (My height is 5'8 with a small to medium frame and my weight maxed out in January 2018 at almost 310lb after being around 155lb until after June 2012, severe gynecomastia (recently won Risperdal / Invega class-action lawsuit), anxiety, depression, and disorganized speech (currently seeing a speech pathologist to suppress language disorder). Following the completion of my 2nd probation term, I was initially placed on Latuda 40mg taken with food at night and then tested out Fanapt 6mg. I was still experiencing most of the side-effects and was still outright desperate to eliminate all of the symptoms I just mentioned. By the beginning of March 2018, I did ultimately try consulting with my psychiatrist about switching to a mood-stabilizer as monotherapy acting in place of an antipsychotic and accepted the risk that if I actually suffer from schizoaffective disorder and it wasn't Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features that I would probably relapse and hallucinate again and I was even in agreement to keep a bottle of antipsychotics as a PRN and to just eat them like crazy if anything happened. I discussed everything with him (I never considered him to be a control freak) and he said that he would eventually be willing to try my suggestion but asked me if I had any other idea in mind that involved remaining on an antipsychotic for slightly longer. I suggested to him that I'd be willing to try taking the Latuda at 20mg instead of 40mg before switching to a completely different class of drugs. In retrospect, I'm not even completely certain if any of the oral antipsychotics including the higher dosage of Latuda or Fanapt were even that badly tolerated.. Now, I'm not condemning an entire class of drugs because I now support some of the low-dose oral antipsychotics for myself but I ultimately think that my former overall disgust and intolerance for the antipsychotics was because I was only ever taking them when I was either locked up in county jail and the overall quality of the drugs was really bad and primarily because the only time I was ever actually taking them was when I was taking court-ordered injections. That basically explains why my experience with the mental health system always sucked up to that point. I'm not trying to speak to highly of myself here but my psychiatrist has always said that he considers me to be one of his higher functioning patients, therefore the reason why he thinks I was always so vocal about all the underlying side effects from the injections and was more sensitive to them than the majority of his patients, even at 260, 280 or 310 pounds, my weight was never really a factor for me in terms of reacting to the meds with less sensitivity. It simply didn't matter what injection he would put me on. I was on so many of them including Invega, Aristada, and Invega and they always caused more damage than they did anything positive for me. I always felt like the compromises I had to make to not hallucinate and remain out of legal trouble were simply too much to take. The slow-release form of the injections was always too intense for me but I was honestly being completely forthright when I admitted that I didn't want another episode involving the boys in blue to occur ever again. At the time of my last post, my dosage was already reduced to 20mg and I was still complaining on a regular basis about everything I was still feeling but it wasn't until the end of March when the restless / walking on hot sand feeling finally began to subside. My overall appetite decreased enough to where I lost over 50 pounds by the beginning of the summer (since then the weight loss has stopped at around 260lb unfortunately but I have remained generally stable in terms of my weight). I won a class-action lawsuit against Risperdal / Invega in February and my weight became low enough where my plastic surgeon agreed to perform male-breast reduction surgery on me after denying me previously because I became so overweight / obese after I was released from county jail and the results were very successful without needing revision surgery thus far. My speech disorder did improve a little but unfortunately wasn't completely going away by the end of the summer. I still felt like I had something like aphasia where I couldn't think of common words or name common objects and the words wouldn't return to my mind until 10 or 20 minutes after the conversation took place. The speech pathologist I eventually saw for this referred me to the audiology department at my local hospital for Central Auditory Processing Testing and it was revealed that I do in fact have a language decoding disorder (my intuition was right all along) which is certainly aggravated by having schizoaffective disorder and maybe even still by the medication. I only become somewhat anxiety-ridden and become depressed right after I take the medication with some food, therefore I normally take it right before I go to sleep. By the time I wake up, I am no longer experiencing the anxiety and paranoia but I never become psychotic. Still, the most important thing is that I'm no longer experiencing any of that indescribable akathisia and thank god the weight gain reversed before I hit 350 and I no longer have to walk around with female-like breasts anymore. This is easily the most balanced I've felt since I developed the mental illness in the beginning of this decade. I'm not a morbidly obese zombie with female-like breasts pacing all day and night with akathisia but I'm also not hallucinating and running away from the local police department during a welfare check or speeding from the state troopers on major highways either. The delusions are still there at certain times except mild enough where I just laugh them off most of the time and don't believe the majority my own deception.
  2. Hello All, I'm just curious. Has anyone ever tried Rhodiola while being on meds? What were the effects/side effects? Is it safe?
  3. I've been on and off antipsychotics sporadically for the last 7 years since age 22 (since 2011). I'm extremely sensitive to them and have a very high response to every one I've been on. I've gained 145lbs from an increase in appetite and metabolic changes, have severe akathisia that is utterly insane and makes me want to cut my own legs off, I developed severe gynecomastia from Risperdal and Invega respectively (Won the Risperdal lawsuit, but no surgeon will touch me because of my weight), experience anxiety (The most on Abilify), fatigue, drowsiness, impotence (On Fanapt), anhedonia (From aggravated depression on Haldol), blurred vision (On Fanapt), lack of concentration, mild tardive dyskenesia (In combination with TMJ syndrome, I think it's permanent), dry eyes (Can't secrete my own tears), nasal congestion (aggravated, because I have it anyway without taking APs) , disorganized speech (Literally developed a speech impediment from a combination of Fanapt and Topamax), GI issues, etc I've experienced almost every common recorded side effect from this category / class of drugs. The lack of control over my weight and appearance and the akathisia are the worst (that's why they're listed first and reiterated). These drugs have destroyed the relatively abysmal life I had before I developed this illness and presently cut it down to absolutely nothing. I have no life. I spend the majority of my life either going to multiple doctor's appointments for my medical issues or otherwise eating uncontrollably, and pacing back and forth and smoking cigarettes occasionally. I browse the internet with my thoughts racing. I might try to watch a TV show or play video games or play bass guitar like I used to but I can barely hold concentration or focus long enough. I want this to end, I really want out. I want to experience a fraction of life again. I was previously diagnosed Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features before my 2nd and most recent episode. As I said, I haven't taken APs consistently for 7 years. I've gone off of them twice for pretty significant periods of time before I relapsed. I usually last about 10 or 11 months (almost a year) without symptoms and perform consistently better in life in general with everything gradually going back in my life to when before I was 22. The side effects and depression usually disappear within a week. At 5 to 8 months I'm very stable, but in just under 11 months I start feeling like I'm on top of the world, become severely manic and delusional, hallucinate, experience an episode, and get into legal trouble. The 1st time around, I resisted arrest during a welfare check called in by my parents and went to the hospital and the 2nd time I successfully eluded the cops by motor vehicle on the highway and got caught hours later and went to county jail. I understand I could be facing harsh consequences but I've never been on a heavy mood-stabilizer before. All they do is overload me with APs. After the 1st episode I stopped taking psych meds completely because of how much I despised how I felt except for Zoloft and resisted almost all treatment. I avoid SSRIs now and will this time because I think it may have been responsible for raising my mood too much before the 2nd incident took place. The key to preventing future incidents for me, I believe, is to make the hallucinations and mania more tolerable to where I won't feel the need to act on them. The delusions are a joke, I can easily handle them. I'm currently taking Latuda 20mg and I'm requesting that my psychiatrist allow me to keep 2 or 3 bottles stored in my cabinet or 1 on me at all times in case any symptoms were to occur while taking Lithium. During the last episode, I was frantically searching for antipsychotics or any appropriate psych medication but didn't have them because I threw all of my former meds away after the first episode had taken place. This time I will have them to back me up and if it turns out that I need to suffer immeasurably on Latuda 20mg or another AP for the remainder of my life then so be it but I deserve a chance on a mood stabilizer simply because of what I've gone through and what I'm experiencing on APs. Has anyone ever tried Lithium as monotherapy for schizoaffective disorder or bipolar 1 with psychotic features? I hear it still has some side effects (would like to know what all of those are) but that it's immeasurably more tolerable than antipsychotics. I realize many people use it in combination with an antipsychotic but this is not in reference to that. Is there anything better than those two that's not an AP? This post is simply to inquire about anyone's thoughts or experiences about using Lithium or Lamictal as monotherapy for schizoaffective mania. A dosage and frequency recommendation would also be appreciated from those that have taken it, although I realize that I will ultimately need my psychiatrist to determine that. I found 1 study on this subject from the early to mid 1980's here: https://watermark.silverchair.com/10-1-30.pdf?token=AQECAHi208BE49Ooan9kkhW_Ercy7Dm3ZL_9Cf3qfKAc485ysgAAAcYwggHCBgkqhkiG9w0BBwagggGzMIIBrwIBADCCAagGCSqGSIb3DQEHATAeBglghkgBZQMEAS4wEQQMAypxqSBIPHx7kbXfAgEQgIIBeTskilYIIUxtfy4i-FH7a6BQ4SrsYxqZG44q7kWx1rVJdLbZ4PMxE33_FUje8rDj4FoUYJI27hYGzv-06pCL6xPDrbVg7n-g9QzqTwoPiRxgDv2VnqzwifudoudTuskAGEKItv5TfD1_V9opXCFF7vJXJln8ij8NeNkMLUpe_n-Xbp6TtkU7rXYdPCZ9dObhTfmQ4PEHkwKfcJcOVAjXzelMWD1EPzWPxCK5zu1l1d2w8ojnqH68mbvgaDuvBxyPTY-EEdADh9N0NIUPQCWHXZKWE2gEBsG_AbWS-bkPdgjxtXcn8Y_5KljQbU2Geb_ERYYWuWFMEk6CRs7FYte_16TOiCQVlahMabKxw0BdjlqvdGaPYZTKBoBWb9Poswigg8jbF1whmlo7WWRyCLCLdbKt4xkmZCU0qmv_j5FTFzeXsq05ptOFY10M3jpUft1xV75pMsPtVJ8U7d42OYqMksXhZyrA8B5k9XNhfJGS0XgmTTSLHNOdcTY2
  4. I recently started a partial hospitalization program, and I see a new psychiatrist while I'm in the program. This pdoc diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder, and says I don't have schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type. I can believe the BPD as I read the symptoms and I relate to them a lot, explains a lot, but I'm having a hard time believing I don't have schizoaffective disorder as I've had this diagnosis for 8 years and have had three regular pdocs say I had this disorder. I know you can't diagnose me and I'm not asking you to, but for those of you who have BPD or traits of BPD have you experienced anything similar? Being misdiagnosed for a long time before your BPD diagnosis. Or can I have both disorders?
  5. I've had two previous major psychotic episodes while off my medication for long periods. These episodes put me into a manic frenzy that caused legal problems. Once where I isolated and resisted arrest on foot and the other where I resisted / eluded by motor vehicle across 3 counties. One occurred during a heat wave in mid-July and the next during frigid temperatures in mid-January, thus extreme temperatures are one of my triggers. Thankfully there was little damage and no one was hurt either time. My lifestyle pattern involves me taking anti-psychotic medication by court order (usually by injection) for 1 to 2 years for probation before going off and feeling consistently better from the lack of adverse side effects (akathisia, drowsiness, suicide ideation, anxiety, panic attacks, anhedonia, hopelessness, severe weight gain, etc). I do well for about 7 to 8 months but then begin to isolate in my apartment and decompensate and become delusional and manic, thinking I possess special abilities and evolutionary traits and can communicate with a higher power. There is some paranoia involved as well. Sometimes I hallucinate. Then I relapse and become frenetic. There is however, little to no depression when I'm off the anti-psychotics. When I take them I'm severely depressed. I have seen a number of psychiatrists since I developed this illness in 2011 at age 22 and been labeled Paranoid Schizophrenic, Schizoaffective, and Bipolar 1 With Mania. None of them are completely synonymous and my current psych can't make up his mind. I'm very sensitive to anti-psychotics. Only 1.25mg of Zyprexa zapped my delusional thinking and hallucinations in a few hours and Invega Sustenna 39mg (what I'm currently taking) is more than enough for treating my symptoms as well. The same thing with 2mg of Abilify. I'm just saying this because I've heard that some individuals need moderate to higher dosages for the medications to be effective. I'm not one of them. Anyway, I came across one psychiatrist who was part of the justice system (in the beginning of my term) who refused to place me on an anti-psychotic claiming I was too focused during my occurrences with the police for him to diagnose me Schizoaffective. He said that I still retained some sanity based on what he was told and wasn't trying to murder anyone or hurt myself. He refuted Schizoaffective Disorder and labeled me Bipolar 1 With Mania And Temporary Psychosis and said I had one of the most extreme cases of Mania he had ever seen. He recommended a heavy mood-stabilizer instead of an anti-psychotic. He said there may be some delusional thinking but I will remain baseline and wont act upon them. Unfortunately, I was extradited within a few weeks and placed out of his care and the next psych I came across was an AP dispenser and convinced me to take it so probation would accept me. The only mood-stabilizer I've tried is Nuerontin or Gabapentin and I wasn't on it long enough to know if it treated my symptoms effectively. I come off probation in December and don't want to get in trouble with the law once again, but at the same time I despise what these anti-psychotics are currently doing to me. Some things I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Being on the anti-psychotic leads to depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, akathisia, hating every aspect of life, and weight gain and coming off completely means thinking I have 38 girlfriends and can stop missiles in their tracks. Could a mood-stabilizer be the appropriate balance to end this nightmare? Can someone have Bipolar Mania so severe they develop Psychosis but not actually be Schizoaffective?
  6. I'm stuck here in this place, my brain just won't shut down. It's like little firecrackers going off all over my brain. When I lay down and close my eyes it's like I see light that just forces me to open the lids and start working on my next project. I haven't been this way in a long while. Could my meds possibly be off? Med list is in my about me. Any opinions would be great. Thanks.
  7. Are you or any one you know been put on this injection? If so how has it worked with your symptoms? What is your dosage and how long have you been on it? Do you have any negative side effects? Please let me know!
  8. HERE GOES! This will be cross posted in the Disassociation forum if that's not against the rules? I just really need some feedback here before I decide to see a neurologist (which I cannot afford. again.) My name is Ian and I'm 23. I'm currently diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), PTSD, and OCD. However I was previously diagnosed with DDNOS and I still stick to that on top of my other diagnoses because I tend to dissociate quite a lot, but that's under question with this new information. For as long as I can remember (which doesn't tend to be far along the timeline) I've had trouble identifying the person in the mirror as myself. I'm looking at them in a mirror across from my bed as I type this, but that doesn't come across in my mind as "hey that's me!", It feels like I'm looking at another person entirely. And when I look at my hands I can't recognize them as my own. I recognize that I'm the person in control of them, but it feels like I'm the right person in the wrong person's body. More than once I've had episodes of being "pulled away" from this body almost as if I'm having the meat suit peeled off. Even then I can control the body but it feels like I'm outside of it (sometimes I can even move my phantom limbs outside of the body but that's rare). I used to be able to look at my hands and if I couldn't recognize them it meant I was dissociated. But now that it happens all the time I told my NP about it and she said that all of it most definitely sounds like a neurological problem. We've suspected I've had neurological problems in the past due to headaches, balance problems, and some tactile hallucinations, but the MRI she called for produced nothing strange so we went on our merry way and tacked a few new diagnoses on the grocery list over time. I DID, however, have a seizure after falling in the wal mart parking lot, but I had no head trauma and afterwards I felt fine, so I didn't go to the doctor or anything (mostly for lack of funds). It's possible that I've constantly been unable to recognize myself since the seizure, but I DO know that this was an occasional happenstance beforehand. I've done some research online and "Mirrored Self-Misidentification" sounds similar, but not exact. Does anyone else experience these symptoms or should I be on my way to the doctors tomorrow?
  9. HERE GOES! This will be cross posted in the Psychosis forum if that's not against the rules? I just really need some feedback here before I decide to see a neurologist (which I cannot afford. again.) My name is Ian and I'm 23. I'm currently diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), PTSD, and OCD. However I was previously diagnosed with DDNOS and I still stick to that on top of my other diagnoses because I tend to dissociate quite a lot, but that's under question with this new information. For as long as I can remember (which doesn't tend to be far along the timeline) I've had trouble identifying the person in the mirror as myself. I'm looking at them in a mirror across from my bed as I type this, but that doesn't come across in my mind as "hey that's me!", It feels like I'm looking at another person entirely. And when I look at my hands I can't recognize them as my own. I recognize that I'm the person in control of them, but it feels like I'm the right person in the wrong person's body. More than once I've had episodes of being "pulled away" from this body almost as if I'm having the meat suit peeled off. Even then I can control the body but it feels like I'm outside of it (sometimes I can even move my phantom limbs outside of the body but that's rare). I used to be able to look at my hands and if I couldn't recognize them it meant I was dissociated. But now that it happens all the time I told my NP about it and she said that all of it most definitely sounds like a neurological problem. We've suspected I've had neurological problems in the past due to headaches, balance problems, and some tactile hallucinations, but the MRI she called for produced nothing strange so we went on our merry way and tacked a few new diagnoses on the grocery list over time. I DID, however, have a seizure after falling in the wal mart parking lot, but I had no head trauma and afterwards I felt fine, so I didn't go to the doctor or anything (mostly for lack of funds). It's possible that I've constantly been unable to recognize myself since the seizure, but I DO know that this was an occasional happenstance beforehand. I've done some research online and "Mirrored Self-Misidentification" sounds similar, but not exact. Does anyone else experience these symptoms or should I be on my way to the doctors tomorrow?
  10. Hi, How are you? I'll get right to it. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder. I take Depakote, Seroquel, Lamictal and I'm tapering off of Lithium (with doctor's instruction). I did a series of 6 ECT treatments in October of last year (2013). I've had 'maintenance' ECT treatments over the past year. I've been through DBT 3 times. I've had the same psychiatrist for 20 years (I am 39). I'm seeing a therapist. Had a good session last week. I figured out that I need to learn about my diagnosis, my disorders. Then I can possibly help myself. Otherwise I've felt like I don't want to get better. I just don't care if I "get better". Life is pointless. -Shocked
  11. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder/depression and anxiety when I was 21. And now, a little over a month away from my 26th birthday, I have finally accepted myself. Being diagnosed was hard. Living with a mental illness is hard. And having to accept that this is a chronic illness, with ongoing treatment and symptoms was hard. But after years of being ashamed and sad, I've finally come to the place of accepting myself. It seems small, maybe trivial, but now that I am able to see that I am still good and wonderful even after my diagnosis, I feel like I can finally share those parts of myself with others without this fear of them "finding out". While I will probably never shout it from the roof tops that I have schizoaffective disorder, I am able to talk to those who are in my life about it, and no longer keep them in the dark like I've done with myself for such a long time. I finally feel free to be who I am with my illness, without having to hide who or what I am. And I am very proud of that. It's been 5 years (and counting), but I am finally in a place where I don't want to hide.
  12. Hi everyone, I'm Olive. I've never been a member of anything like this, but I am looking forward to meeting other people like me and being able to share my experiences, some of which are a little nutty. But here I am in a nutshell: Ph.D student in Neuroscience Adjunct professor vintage clothing aficionado manic depressive, shcizoaffective-type. I'm happy to be here. -Olive
  13. Schizoaffective Disorder: The Identity Crisis of Psychotic-Affective Disorders A Dimensional, Multi-Perspective Inclusion of Behavioral and Biological Approaches to Statistics, Diagnostics, and Prognoses, of Schizoaffective Disorder Written by teluia [pseudonym only] This article if for a moderately advanced understanding of the aforementioned subtitle, as well as what immediately follows here: I have created an abbreviated version of a synopsis (in other words, as many words as I could delete) of several Pubmed articles with a focal point on interdisciplinary perspectives on psychosomatic and psychopharmaceutical treatments (and the complications behind them) for Schizoaffective Disorder (SZD), as well as the theme that the Dynamic/Dimensional approach should be tested and/or included in the ICD and DSM diagnostic manuals. If you like letters, you might enjoy words. There are a lot of words just for you, so have fun! If you have a loved one with SZD, or you may have or already have SZD, and would like to understand some of its biological and behavioral aspects, this article can help with that. Acronyms To Know (In Chronological Order Of Appearance) SZD Schizoaffective Disorder (avoiding SAD due to external cross-referencing) SCZD Schizophrenic Disorder BPD Bipolar Disorder Dx Diagnosis Rx Medication MI Mental Illness BPRS Brief Psychotic Relative Scale DEQ Distressing Event Questionnaire TLEQ Traumatic Life Event Questionnaire SPMI Severe and Persistent Mental Illness PANSS Positive and Negative Syndrome Scale BTSAS Behavioral Treatment for Substance Abuse in SPMI STAR Supportive Treatment For Addiction Recovery BQLS Brief Quality of Life Scale INTRODUCTION TO SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER How Did Schizoaffective Disorder Acquire Its Name? Nearly 100 years ago, Kraepelin separated symptoms into two major categories: Schizophrenia, and Affective disorders. This separation was termed the “Kraepelinian Dichotomy.” However, some of Kraepelin’s patients had symptoms from both SCZD and Affective disorders. Hence the term “Schizoaffective Disorder.” Initial Genetics Clinical trials have shown that although a patient may fit the requirements for SZD, during an episode their symptoms are much closer to one of the two disorders in the Kraepelinian Dichotomy. One study concluded, “Schizoaffective Disorder is not simply a subgroup of either Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia, but may be genetically linked to both,” showing their strong relation to one another. The Elimination vs. Dynamic Argument Wolfgang Maier suggests that because the diagnostic definition of SZD has not been “unequivocally defined” in 70 years, and apparently the current Dx given by ICD-10 and DSM-IV do not fit with “clinical conventions,” that SZD should be disregarded and removed as an official Dx. If SZD is removed, Maier suggests the option of either increasing the diagnostic criteria of SCZD and BPD to include SZD symptoms, or, that it could be possible to develop a dynamic way of diagnosing patients that focuses only on fluctuating symptoms rather than strictly separating symptoms into categories. Wolfgang Maier; Do Schizoaffective Disorders Exist At All? DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSES & LACK OF DATA Just Agree On Something Already! ~1 in 4 patients are admitted due to SZD. Yet, it is not agreed among psychiatrists as to how to treat those with SZD because: 1. Lack of large scale studies, and 2. Differing treatments depending on the diagnostic manual used. Cognitive Statistics To differentiate SZD from SCZD, cognitive studies have shown that those with SCZD had verbal and visuomotor working memory impairments, while those with SZD did not. Still, these data do not provide enough information to make a Dx. Finally, A Diagnosis! (Based On History And Current Behavioral Patterns) It is helpful to diagnose based on: 1. Medical records, 2. Behaviors and symptoms, 3. Overlapping symptoms, 4. Familial record of psychotic or mood disorders. Overall, timing and length of psychotic and mood symptoms are the most important factors of Dx. Social Statistics Information on understanding the social aspects of the SZD patient may prove useful, as multiple studies have reported impaired social and occupational function. Coexisting illnesses have also been found common in SZD patients, such as anxiety. Subtypes… Or, What Do I Have Now? The subtype of SZD may change based on age, and a study showed that 36% of the patients changed into another illness, which is concordant with it being the most likely illness to change among patients with a psychotic disorder. A Cure! Or Maybe The Thoughts Are Trapped… Inside My Head… Time To Increase Abilify Antipsychotics and Psychotherapy Using medication (including an antipsychotic) and psychotherapy is the recommended treatment, and the psychiatrist must ultimately use experience and/or good judgment as to what will fit the subtype and individual. Henry Nasrallah, Joseph Goldberg, Christoph Correll, and Christopher Ontiveros; Differential Diagnosis and Therapeutic Management of Schizoaffective Disorder BIOLOGICAL LINKS AND STUDIES Genetic Relations Recent discoveries of associations between genes in SCZD and BPD provide evidence for a relationship between their phenotypes and can potentially assist in Dx. Familial & Adoption Studies In one study, over two million families were found to have a risk of SCZD and BPD, indicating their genetic relationship. This is supported by adoption studies which indicate that the risk of developing a psychotic and/or mood disorder is not purely environmentally caused, but is rather caused by genetics. How A SZD Diagnosis Is Made For many psychologists, diagnosing someone as having SZD is only used when the subject cannot be placed into a BPD or SCZD category. SZD is often considered a nuisance that some believe should be abolished from the diagnostic manuals, while others believe in its credibility. The Welcome Trust Case Control Consortium showed a larger role of genetics in developing SZD than in developing BPD. So while some believe SZD should be removed, others believe that abandoning it would ignore the current and needed evidence. Conclusion Instead, we must 1. Refine Dx, 2. Consider biological factors, and 3. Eliminate the limiting Kraepelin dichotomy. Nick Craddock, M.C. O’Donovan, and M.J. Owen; Psychosis Genetics: Modeling the Relationship Between Schizophrenic, Bipolar, and Mixed (or “Schizoaffective”) Psychoses CATEGORIZING SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER Categorizing SZD In Just Three Simple Steps! Research on SZD often contradicts each other. It may be beneficial to first define the illness: 1. It is proposed that SZD is a co-occurring mood and psychotic illness, 2. It is a variant of SCZD, or 3. It is either a severe form of BPD or depression. SZD is clearly difficult to define, but it is known to be a disturbance of information-interpretation and emotional regulation. Historical Categorization, Probably From An Aboulomaniac The illness has been officially described through history as a 1. Subtype of SCZD (DSM-I/II 1952-1968), 2. Unclassified psychotic disorder (DSM-III), and 3. Mood disorder with psychotic features which, over the later years, followed with 24 different definitions. Categorizing Disorders By Means Of Differentiating Symptoms Some believe that to diagnose, simple differences in symptoms indicate SZD. For instance, delusions occur more in SZD and SCZDs than in BPD, while hallucinations occur far more frequently in SCZDs than in the others. However, some have not found any distinguishable symptoms. Let’s Complicate This. It’s like a puzzle… Only With Extra Pieces. Bigger The Better, Right? To complicate diagnosing, often times an affective-psychotic disorder and another MI occurs simultaneously. For example, Byerly found in a study that 30% of those with SZD or SCZD also had OCD symptoms, and an additional study by Strauss found that 50% had PTSD symptoms. Therefore, there may exist a tendency of those among the affective-psychotic spectrum to have additional MI. Studies On The Life-Time Prevalence Rate Of SZD (Hint: Average = .64% Chance) Re-diagnosing is also common, as seen in a study by Schwartz which found that after 6 and 24 months, 64% of the SZD patients showed a change in symptoms that warranted a Dx. Similarly, studies differ on the chances of someone having the Dx of SZD for their entire life, ranging from a .2% to 1.1% chance (Scully, Marneros). It is harder to diagnose youths than adults because of this diagnostic instability, drug use, and other illnesses which may cloud SZD. Such difficulties would be irrelevant if treatment is based on the symptoms rather than on a categorized disorder. Symptoms You Don’t Want To Read About SZD Or SCZD, And Their Cognitive Similarities Studies show that SZD and SCZD are related to: 1. Impaired memory, 2. Inattention, 3. Motor planning, and more; therefore, these two disorders are cognitively similar. Studies show that there are too many similarities of biological influences and Neurobiological illnesses to categorize. DISC 1 Blame It On Genetic Abnormalities… I Already Know I’m Abnormal, So What’s Your Point? We can also see their great similarities through genetics, promoting the dimensional approach. Abnormalities in DISC1 (a gene called Disrupted-In-SCZD-1) is probably the most significant indicator of risk for MI. Abnormalities of DISC1 may cause disruptions in cognition and emotion processing, and the degree to which either is affected determines SCZD (cognitive disruption), BPD (emotion), and SZD (both) (Hodgkinson, et al). Conclusion Continuing to study all cognitive and emotional dysfunctions instead of limiting study to a categorical Dx would provide insight into the nature of Neurobiology and treatments. Daniel Abrams, Donald Rojas, and David Arciniegas; Is Schizoaffective Disorder a Distinct Categorical Diagnosis? A Critical Review of the Literature PALPERIDONE ER & SZD STATISTICS Statistics; The Bad News Patients with SZD use a disproportionate amount of inpatient treatments, and hospitalizations; suicide attempts are also higher than BPD or SCZD. They are more likely to be treated for additional MI or substance use. Because Paliperidone is an atypical anti-psychotic, SZD individuals may benefit from it. Statistics Of Patients In A Study Regarding SZD & SCZD; The Maybe Not So Good News. To better understand the significance of the following positive treatment results, it is important to consider patient severity. Subjects had been diagnosed with different disorders in the past (primarily SCZD), which suggests that SZD is either difficult to diagnose or does not develop until later in life. 33% had attempted suicide, and half of these attempted suicide multiple times. The average amount of hospitalizations per patient was six. Results; The Good News, Finally! After all, What Book Doesn’t End With A Happy Ending? Oh Yeah… Every Classic Ever Made Overall, the PANSS and CGI-S-SCA (Clinical Global Impressions of Severity for SZD) greatly improved more with the Paliperidone ER group than the placebo group, with similar results between those using it as monotherapy and polytherapy. Conclusion Of Paliperidone ER In SCZD And SZD In addition to being the largest cumulative data of patients with SZD, these studies show that Paliperidone ER can be used as an effective treatment with no tolerability and a limited likelihood of negatively interacting with other medications. First and Second Generation Medications: Options and Comparison Purpose Of Medication. Can I Ever Be Cured? Unfortunately, medication does not cure MI but rather attempts to alleviate symptoms. There are also many side effects that may occur. However, there are a wide range of medications for various MI, and their effects can stabilize and even save lives. The First Anti-Psychotic Had Astonishing Results For instance, with the first large--scale introduction of antipsychotics in 1955, hospitalizations dropped by 64% between 1955 and 1985. Antipsychotics, also called neuroleptics, act on dopamine receptors and consequently reduce psychotic symptoms. Also used are atypical antipsychotics, which affect dopamine and serotonin, cause less side effects, treat more symptoms, and are associated with less hospitalization relapse. Anti-Anxiety Medications Anti-anxiety medications such as benzodiazepines, which increase levels of GABA and cause tranquilizing effects, have a high addiction (tolerance) potential and impaired psychomotor function. Fortunately, Neurontin, Buspar, and recent others show far less unwanted side effects. Lithium. So That’s Why 7-Up Is So Delectable Lithium regulates glutamate levels to prevent mania and reduce depression in SZD and BPD. Lithium levels must be monitored to prevent poisoning. Long term use often causes hair loss, weight gain, and especially kidney problems, forcing many to quit taking lithium. SSRI & Amphetamine For depression, SSRIs affect the availability of only serotonin and may also improve anxiety. Off label uses for amphetamines and their structurally similar cousins (i.e. Methylphenidate) have been used to treat depression, particularly Treatment-Resistant Depression, and usually as a last resort. However, there is an addiction potential and side effects. Psychostimulants primarily used to treat ADHD, are, like benzodiazepines, often used to self-medicate without a prescription. Conclusion Overall, there are a vast amount of options for treating SZD and its comorbid illnesses. Role of Paliperidone Extended-Release in Treatment of SZD; Carla Canuso, Ibrahim Turkoz, Dong Fu, and Cynthia Bossie ABUSE DISPROPORTIONATELY LINKED TO PSYCHOTIC DISORDERS Introduction Studies show that childhood trauma is disproportionately linked to psychotic illness and increased morbidities, and may have an influence on the causality of psychotic-affective-spectrum disorders, including SZD. Studies. As A Matter Of Fact, Over 51 studies With Over 8580 People. So Let’s Summarize… A review of 51 studies concerning psychotic females (f) and males (m) found childhood sexual abuse occurring in (f) 48% and (m) 28% of subjects, and physical abuse at (f) 48% and (m) 50% (Read et al. 2005). Another study found that of 8580 people, those who experienced sexual abuse in childhood were 15 times more prone to developing a psychotic illness (Bebbington et al., 2004). (Final) Study By DMHCE Regarding SCZD, SZD, and BPD Inpatients. The Departments of Mental Health and Clinical Epidemiology at the Hospital Consortium in Catalonia, Spain, conducted a study of 102 inpatients who were diagnosed with SCZD, SZD, or BPD, using the DSM-IV criteria. The subjects completed the BPRS, TLEQ, and the DEQ tests. Results The results for SZD (data average for all disorders in parenthesis) were: 10% (18%) had been physically abused, 50% (40%) had been psychologically abused, 10% (21%) had been sexually abused, 30% (29%) had witnessed domestic violence, and 40% (45%) had experienced any kind of abuse. The prevalence of childhood abuse was nearly parallel between SCZD, BPD, and SZD. Control Group Substitute. At Least Someone Knows Experimental Psychological Design This study does not have a control group, therefore this study’s results were compared with another study which asked the same questions to university students (Pereda, 2007). The university study found sexual abuse at (m) 16% and (f) 19%, which is significantly lower than the psychotic patients. Effects Of Abuse. I Keep A List Of People I Hate, And I Never Hate. Until It Comes To Abuse This article’s findings directly relate to the disorder’s expression. For example, those in the study who were abused as children compared with those were not, diagnoses were earlier in life, they had doubled frequency of hospitalizations, and they had a 63% chance of attempting suicide (compared with 37% in the non-abused) with a 68% chance if they had been sexually abused (compared with 29%). Considering these statistics, the medical caretaker needs to know the types of abuse that the patient has endured in order to help make an effective prognosis. They should keep in mind that females are more likely to experience any given abuse, but that males are more likely to experience physical abuse. Prevalence and Clinical Impact of Childhood Trauma in Patients With Severe Mental disorder; Maria Alvarez, Pere Roura, Anna Oses, Quini Foguet, Judit Sola, and Francesc Arrufat DRUG USE & STATISTICS The Effects Of Drug Dependency And Abuse. *Visit your local NA if you suspect you have an unhealthy addiction. It is entirely Anonymous. Among people with SPMI, the lifetime prevalence rate of drug dependency is very high, and current abuse is estimated at 65%. Drug abuse in people with SPMI causes more severe and frequent symptoms, hospitalizations, violence, suicide, homelessness, impaired cognition, and a worse prognosis. The First Day Of Sobriety Is 100% Further Along Than The Day Before No superior program has been developed. But there is almost universal agreement that treating people with SPMI who abuse illicit or prescribed drugs should include psychiatric and drug abuse treatments, and that it should focus on harm reduction over abstinence. There Is Hope For Addiction And/Or Abuse: BTSAS The study in this article uses a new program: the BTSAS. BTSAS is a 6 month group program that follows six methods: 1. Motivational interviewing, 2. Urinalysis, 3. Goal setting, 4. Social and drug denial skills, 5. Substance abuse education, 6. Teaching behavioral skills for relapse prevention. Education includes how to find activities and friends that do not involve drugs. Study & Comparison Between BTSAS & STAR To tests its efficacy, BTSAS was compared with the STAR program. 175 people with SPMI and who met the DSM-IV criteria for substance dependence were equally separated into either program. 38% had SCZD or SZD and 55% had an affective disorder, and each had an average of 5 hospitalizations. Methods In BTSAS, subjects are paid more for each negative drug test and are reinforced. Positive tests are followed by a discussion on causes and skills. In STAR, groups are encouraging and provide extensive instruction, but there is no curriculum or comment on urine tests. Results. ‘The Short Of It’ = BTSAS > STAR BTSAS had 23% less dropouts than STAR and had better attendance. Hospitalizations of BTSAS subjects had fallen from 30% to 7% compared with STAR’s 20% to 16%; Subjects in BTSAS had higher improvements than STAR on the BQLS test, and subjects being arrested also declined more than in the STAR group. On average, BTSAS’s subjects had 59% clean urine test results while STAR’s had 25%. Inadequacies Of The Study. And Why The Number 1777 Was Chosen, I Have No Idea Overall, BTSAS provided decreased arrests, hospitalizations, and increased quality of life, and was very effective relative to STAR. However, much needs to be done considering that only 27% of the eligible 1777 people interviewed actually participated in the trial, and still many dropped out. Several different types of approaches have been made to ensure everyone is treated, but none have proven effective. BTSAS intends to be used for this purpose in conjunction with two additional components. A randomized Clinical Trial of a New Behavioral Treatment for Drug Abuse in People With Severe and Persistent Mental Ilness; Alan Bellack, Melanie Bennet, Jean Gearon, Clayton Brown, and Ye Yang CONCLUSION Reasons For Implementing The Dynamic Approach Until the dynamic symptoms diagnostic method is applied by major diagnostic manuals, SZD, contrary to Maier, should not be removed as a disorder considering that patients even before Kraepelin’s dichotomy have fallen into this category and still frequently do. However, the dynamic approach may be more effective at treating illness because disorders are diagnosed and treated by symptoms; and psychotic, manic, and depressive symptoms often fluctuate in SZD and even in other disorders. The dynamic approach would be more flexible to these fluctuations and would not limit itself to treating a categorized illness despite changes in symptoms. Research would also not be limited to a single disorder and instead might find correlations between the illnesses. Notions Of Indistinguishing SZD With SCZD Considering the article by Robert Kern (et al), studies have found similar disabilities between SZD and SCZD. The author’s lack of distinguishing SZD from other disorders is probably due to this similarity or, like early (DSM) Dx criteria, the article is written with the notion that SZD is a variant of SCZD. Anticipating Comorbidities In Supporting Diagnoses If there is a definite tendency for multiple MI to occur in SZD individuals, the evidence that Whaley and Shenton provided could help warn patients and psychiatrists of a possible additional illness. Definitive behaviors and symptoms unique to SZD could also support its diagnoses. Negative & Positive Outcomes Of Future Gene Discoveries. A risk of discovering genes and a cure is compulsory sterilization (as we had in early US history and in China today) of those susceptible to the SZD phenotype, as well as eliminating the genes in order to avoid the disorder (which may eliminate, in the BPD subtype, the creativity that has benefited a disproportionate amount of artists). However, discovering the genes and its processes in SZD’s development may provide positive treatment to manage the illness. It could result in a cure for the misery, suicide risk, and comorbidities, and would likely gather massive public praise. But given the aforementioned risks, this poses a debatable moral dilemma that does not have a single right answer, and ultimately lies in the decision of the SZD individual. Abuse And Behavioral Conditioning It is unfortunate that the study in Prevalence and Clinical Impact limits SZD to such a minority, therefore making less accurate the claim that all psychotic-affective illness it disproportionately linked to abuse. However, it is important to consider the distinct possibility that abuse is disproportionately linked to MI. This claim is accepted by many to be a cause of ADHD, exacerbate all symptoms of MI, and is certainly a cause of PTSD. Therefore, comorbidities of SZD may be enhanced and even caused by abuse. But this study does not explain why those who did not experience abuse still developed a psychotic-affective disorder. One likely cause of this abuse is that MI runs in families, and the potential ripple of mentally ill parents can exacerbate already mentally ill children. Biological Research, Polytherapy, and Behavioral Therapy The behavioral approach is currently the most effective at diagnosing Neurological disorders, but not in explaining the cause of illness along the psychotic-affective spectrum. With more research from the biological perspective, we may be able to diagnose based on a combination of genes, MRI scans, and so on. Treatment of SZD should be a polytherapy of medications (considering the range of symptoms and comorbidities), behavioral therapy, and other therapies that treat the devastating effects on one’s emotional history. Lack Of Research, Neurobiological Illness, Multi-Perspective Inclusion, Dimensional Approach It is very difficult to find an article with a single perspective on SZD, and all provide compelling evidence for its Dx and treatments. Similarly, most articles encourage a convincing “dimensional” approach regarding all Neurobiological illness. Multi-perspective inclusion provides the greatest amount of diagnostic and treatment insight, as does the dimensional approach. The dimensional approach is more efficient than diagnostic categories and is flexible to changing diagnoses and should be seriously considered by all (especially the diagnostic manuals). Consequentially, it is difficult to study SZD as a single entity without acknowledging other disorders (particularly along the psychotic-affective spectrum). Conclusively, a multi-perspective and dimensional approach to neurobiological (in this case SZD) – and increasingly comorbid physical – illness is and would be most effective at diagnosing, treating, and even reducing stigma. Citations INTRODUCTION TO SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER Maier, W. (2006, March, 30). Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica. Retrieved from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1600-0447.2006.00763.x/full DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSES & LACK OF DATA Narallah, H., Goldberg, J., Correll, C., & Ontiveros, C. (10, November 22). Differential diagnosis and therapeutic management of schizoaffective disorder.. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21180661 [or] http://www.currentpsychiatry.com/pdf/supp/supplCP_SADEME.pdf BIOLOGICAL LINKS AND STUDIES Craddock, N., O'Donovan, , & Owen, M. J. (2009, March 27). Schizophrenia bulletin. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2669589/ DISC 1 Abrams Daniel, Rojas Donald, Arciniegas David (December 2008). Is Schizoaffective Disorder a Distinct Categorical Diagnosis? http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2646642/ PALPERIDONE ER & SZD STATISTICS Canuso Carla, Turkoz Ibrahim, Fu Dong, & Bossie Cynthia (5 October 2010). Role of Paliperidone Extended-Release in Treatment of Schizoaffective Disorder. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20957127 ABUSE DISPROPORTIONALTEY LINKED TO PSYCHOTIC DISORDERS Alvarez Maria, Roura Pere, Oses Anna, Foguet Quini, Sola Judit, Arrufat Francesc (March, 2011). Prevalence and Clinical Impact of Childhood Trauma in Patients With Severe Mental disorder. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21346485 DRUG USE AND STATISTICS Bellack Alan, Bennet Melanie, Gearon Jean, Brown Clayton, Yang Ye (April 2006). A randomized Clinical Trial of a New Behavioral Treatment for Drug Abuse in People With Severe and Persistent Mental Ilness. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16585472
  14. So, there is me, the extremely correct and law obeying citizen, extremely logical and reliable and basically the most trustworthy person you can imagine. And then there is the psychotic me, coexisting with my true self which is all good and shit. The psychosis generates thoughts in me of how to hurt people (literally, my dad has bought a car-jack and I'm coming up with all kind of ideas about how I could hurt people with that. I don't want to go to details, they are nasty). My psychosis makes me super angry all the time (I always act on it when I'm alone, not among people. I'm very nice and calm to people. But I Lie in my bed swearing and shouting for hours in my bed. Maybe kicking too) And guess what! My psychosis makes me slightly pedophile too as long as you would consider being into 16yo's pedophile. The local law here is okey with it. BUT I AM FUCKING NOT. IT'S DISGUSTING. But my psychosis keeps generating sexy thoughts about being with 16yo's. I see no other way that taking so much mood stabilizers and antipsychotics to make my brain so lame that it can't think at all and then I will go and start thoughts by will. I see no other way than making a zombie out of myself to get rid of this. Some people have to be zombified. That's our faith. So next time I'm going to push my doc to prescribe me high dose clozapine. I'm on maximum dose of 2 antipsychotics for god's sake why isn't this working? Fuck this shit.
  15. Hi, I have this symptom I really struggle to describe and now thank German Wikipedia it seems that I have found the right description. (it has happened many times and it has been a dud many times but here we go again) I'm disoriented in time and space. I can look at the clock and read it but it has no meaning to me. When the clock says 10:00 pm it doesn't mean “night” “sleeping time” to me. It means absolutely nothing to me. When it's week end, it means nothing to me. I know that the next day might be new years eve, but it means nothing to me and I might forget about it in 30 seconds and go on as if it's a regular summer day. I'm basically completely lost in time. And if that's not apparent, it's really bad because I feel completely lost in time and being lost feels really scarey. So that's it about time. Now about space. I might sit in the bus. But it won't feel like bus. It will feel like I'm sitting in absolute fucking void. Everywhere it's just meaningless void. It doesn't make any difference to me whether am sitting in the doc's waiting room or in my own room. It's all void and oh boy in such a bad way. It's like being separated from the whole world and floating somewhere in outer space observing the earth through a camera mounted on my physical bodies head. It might sound okey but it's absolutely horrible because I feel like I'm absolutely nowhere. The opposite of feeling grounded TO THE MAX. The worst part about it is that I don't feel at home anywhere because I just don't feel the space around me at all. Very confusing, very annoying, HELL. Can someone relate to this stuff? Is there a name for it? how to get rid of it maybe? (with supplements maybe LOL X-) Cheerz bear.
  16. Hi! I'm Reija! And here's the best I could do at a semi-quick rundown of fun times: For ten years I was misdiagnosed with Depression only, then Borderline Personality Disorder, then Epilepsy after having several pseudo grand mal seizures that were later correctly associated with PTSD (stemming from severe sexual abuse as a child). Long f*cking sentence, jeez. During the same time, I was on and off of almost two dozen different meds – nothing worked or worked for long. That would put us at around seven years ago when I finally received the correct diagnosis of ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. Everything in my life finally fell into place and I was in control for the first time. I finished school, held down a corporate job, continued to go to therapy and see my psychiatrist on a regular basis. Then, stress induced, two years ago things took a really bad turn and not only did my old symptoms resurface and were much more severe, I had started to develop new ones such as auditory hallucinations, paranoia, and became completely delusional at times. Long story short, I went bat shit crazy, was “baker acted” for the fourth time a year ago due to my first serious psychotic break. My perspective, or reality, of a situation, compared to how things really went down was drastically different at best. Oh, the issues that did indeed arise. Looking back, I still can’t clearly decipher between what actually did happen and what only happened in my head. The hallucinations were so wild that I had a hard time believing they were naturally induced – in which paranoia happily stepped in and took over at that point. In hindsight, I had experienced much milder breaks over the past couple of years, but I dismissed them with some other explanation or another. I was discharged with a shiny new diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type, ADHD and PTSD. Which lands me here with you fine people! Quite desperate, to say the least, to connect with other creative types or anyone that might be able to help with and feedback at all - particular, more elaborate, posts will be up shortly in regards to the following. In short: finding options/solutions that will enable me to go back to work as soon as possible is critical. The meds I am now taking (which is the best combo I’ve ever been on, took almost 20 years) have completely destroyed any ability to continue with my career and deepest passion. I’m a motion graphics artist, therefore I rely on my creativity heavily. Antipsychotics completely wipe out any and all creativity I have, as if that part of my brain has been shut down entirely. I can’t compromise my career, nor can I quit my finally successful treatment and meds…SO…there’s that. With a diagnosis that seems to have very little information available, I’m still not entirely sure what it is I can now expect from this point on. I’m really hoping to learn a lot from those of you that have been around for awhile. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
  17. 10 month episode and 120 days in jail over an Illness I had no idea I had. but, I got through it somehow and lots of family and friends support along with the right meds (thank god) I am fairing well these past 2 weeks and only slight mania and tics left. To stay busy and educate myself on SZA I started my own forum and blog. check it out if you have time. thanks Donna http://www.mybrainsick.com
  18. Hi i just wanted to introduce myself and say i am so happy to have found these boards. I am currently taking latuda and have extreme restlessness..i want to hang in there with it though because i feel it helping otherwise. I have Schizoaffective disorder.
  19. Hi, The first time i commited myself to the clinic due to massive hyperactivity, i got diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome by an autism expert. But she moved from my town and when i started feeling shitty next time they diagnosed me with Schizophrenia NOS. (i have never heard voices, was delusional twice for some hours and i have no thinking disorder except another 2 hours of talking shit. which all happend after the SCH diagnosis) i'm also diagnosed with bipolar which is totally true and i agree with that. ok anyways. lets get to the deal. the thing is, i score really high on the Aspie-Quiz (http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php) and AQ test (http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html) and i can totally relate to them. when i read stuff on Asperger's i really think that's totally me. in contrast, i absolutely cant relate to the descriptions of schizophrenia. but there are more than 3 different docs say i have Schizophrenia. So what's the deal with this? I really want to know what my problem (read DIAGNOSIS) is so i can seek specific help. Please dont tell me diagnosis is not relevant because it is. so is it possible that i having schizophrenia causes false positive results on Aspie tests? HALP! thanks for reading cheerz Überpolarbear
  • Create New...