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Found 14 results

  1. I got in a massive fight with some well liked people at school last friday and everyone saw it so everyone hates me now and I was suspended for today. I don't know if I ever wanna go back since everyone hates me now. Everyone keep insisting to but it's a death sentence. Everyone will pester me for the rest of my life and I'll eventually get into another fight. What do I do? Do I go to school? How can I control my massive anger and impulsivity? It feels like Mel Gibson has become my spirit animal. There's a video on Youtube where he yells at this chick on the phone and it's very relatable. It's exactly how I act when I get mad.
  2. It's my 3rd time now that I've cut myself intentionally. I sliced my wrist at school and a teacher saw it. I did it to try to cope with my feelings of self hatred. I then had to see my school counselor after he saw me do it. It was kinda a bittersweet meeting. I cried a little after I got back to class but noone saw as I didn't weep and only shed 2 tears. I still can't believe I relapsed. I feel guility.
  3. Hey all, I have noticed that my memory has dwindled to zero these days. I had an evaluation done at the VA hospital memory clinic. They said they see no issue at all with my memory, but rather deduced that due to PTSD and daily pain I suffer, it is affecting my attention span, which in turn affects memory. I didn't have this issue like this last semester. It is awful. Anyone else with issues like this? Any tips? I need to pass. I am not doing a very good job because I cannot test well. I may spend 2 to 3 hours on homework and get very good grades, but my 1 hour allotted for tests is not a help.
  4. Hi, I have what I like to consider pretty bad GAD and it is most prevalent when I am faced with time pressure and especially with assignments at school. I always start telling myself "I can't do it" and all i want to do is run away and avoid the stress and do anything to avoid having to deal with it. this usually takes the form of extensions and excuses and skipping classes and emailing profs, etc. I've been doing really well this week but for some reason I can't let myself feel that or think to myself that maybe I can do it, because I keep saying to myself, just because I succeeded in the past how do I know I will this time. I've also failed a lot in the past, so that could happen too. I even feel like writing this post is avoidance even though its really just me reaching out, but I feel pathetic that I can't just deal with my shit on my own. Right now I have a 1000 word paper due in 3 hours and I tried reading the articles that I need to read but I just got overwhelmed and started writing down all the thoughts that were going through my head. That helped a little because I got the thoughts out, and I guess that's what this is doing too. I still am majorly fighting the urge to email my prof for an extension, which I prob will be able to get, and get on a bus to go home and hide in bed for as long as possible. I just don't want to face this fear. I freeze up any time I say to myself that I can't do it, and I will do anything to run away. I guess what I want to know is does anyone else feel this, and if so, how do you cope without running and hiding. Thanks
  5. Hey guys, So I'm working on a group project (fun..) where we're given like 10 min max to present a short blurb about a mental disorder. I'm in the depression group, and I'm supposed to come up with something to help the class empathize with a person suffering from depression. Here's what I'm supposed to do: The entire presentation can only be 10 min max, so whatever I do I have to keep it pretty short. I would really love to show the "hyperbole and a half" comics on depression, but that's kind of awkward to read out loud to a class while on a powerpoint... and would take a lot of paper to print for each person to have their own copy. I also thought I could possibly find a youtube video to show the class... but I can't seem to find anything short enough. The only one I found was extremely...triggering... and I definitely don't want to show that one to the class. I could also write a tiny bio of what it's like for ME to have depression (I wouldn't say I wrote it-- just quote it as something I found on the internet. I could tell my teacher where I "got" it from later since he knows about my depression already). Something that would be easy to read in like 3 minutes or less. I'm a pretty descriptive writer, so I think I could do it well. OR I could find someone else's bio or poetry or something and read that. I dunno. What do you guys think would be a good idea? I want it to be interesting and something that can draw the class in to really try and be empathetic with people who have depression.
  6. I'm working on a teaching career, primary and secondary, in the USA. I'm pretty functional now that I'm on stimulants, otherwise I'm a mess. I'm in a program where I volunteer full time in a school as a tutor, in order to get experience to go into a residency which will get me my license. There is almost a complete masters degree worth of classes I'll be taking in the process. I haven't disclosed to anybody in my program. Any thoughts?
  7. Mood Stabilizers are a necessary part of many bipolar people's lives. They help us function better in a society. BUT THEY MAKE US SLOW. Or at least me. When I'm not medicated I notice every little detail in day to day life but on these meds I feel like things "slip" past me. I am pretty forgetful as well. Does anyone else have these issues? I am in college. I'm a have double majors and a minor and I'm worried that these meds are going to screw with my performance.
  8. I don't know if I can take another day of not knowing whether or not I will be able to attend classes this semester. I'm stressed because I need to be registered for classes by the 26th to be considered enrolled before the late registration fee kicks in. I can't be awarded aid to pay for the courses until I am officially registered and I can't be officially registered until the course is paid for in full. Why does the freaking American aid process lie to screw with us this way?
  9. Does anyone have any school tips for someone with ADHD? I'm having trouble with concentration and focus (surprise, surprise). In particular, for reading textbooks? I've been highlighting as I go. Then going back and rereading what I have highlighted. But it's so hard to get through the initial reading, especially when it's a topic I'm not super interested in. I'm studying a chapter right now that I have to know really well for class tomorrow b/c I have to lead a discussion group on the topics presented. I need to come up with a list of questions to incite discussion and am nervous. I have trouble with critical thinking. HALP!
  10. Hello all. I was wondering if there were any other CBers out there in graduate school or university? Although Im ready to go back, I have a terrible fear of relapsing with all of this change happening and the pressure of the unknown. School begins in September for me. Anyone else gone through this while being treated and medicated for bipolar disorder? Thanks for reading!
  11. Over the last 6 months to a year (I'm not exactly sure when it started) I have increasingly become less motivated, and lacking energy and determination and ambitions is not existent. I'm in my last year of school yr 11, or finishing 'High School' for the Americans out there. My exams start in 3 weeks time. I'm freaking out so much about them! I feel like I'm just going to fail everything, it's not even a joke. My friends and even my family get the impression that i'm really studious and hard working, but I don't think I am at all. I've actually let myself down a lot. I used to be more hard-working. I don't mess around in class or anything, or act like the class clown. I just blend in really, keep myself to myself write down what the teacher tells us to, I do all my homework. But that's just it, I do the bare minimum. And I thought I was getting away with it until now, now I've realized how close my exams are I'm stressed as anything. But I don't seem to be doing anything about it and I hate myself for it. I've disappointed myself and my family. I used to be good at art, I got an A* for one of my projects and ive just got progressively worse, the one thing i am good at and i've just lost all hope, motivation, inspiration, everything. I want it done, more than anything, but I just can't do it. I hate all my work, I'm embarrassed. I’ve just realised how much of it there is and how little time I have to do it in. I’ve been putting it off for months now. I’ll just come home and go straight to bed, either to play on my phone or to go to sleep. I get in this inescapable cycle of going to bed really late, waking up being tired for school and then coming home and doing no work because I’m so tired.I don’t even find myself watching that much TV anymore, it’s not even the typical child -like excuse of watching too much television and getting distracted. It’s like I’ve just given up and lost all motivation and energy. I go through periods of time that last typically a week or so where I just go into a really serious work mood. It tends to happen near deadlines, when I know work needs to get done and so I’ll just get on with it because I’m stressed. After that adrenaline pumped week or so I just deplete energy and lack motivation. Then follows the endless cycle of not enough sleep. I just wanted to know, am I just being really lazy or is there a name for this? The way I feel and my inability to do what I want to complete in my head. Please help, so that I can try and fix it, I only have 3 weeks before my exams start. Please reply, if you read, I need help.
  12. Hi there! I'm working on my first essay for this term (yay), and I thought I'd ask your opinion on this topic. I have my research, notes, and my own ideas. But, I really value the ideas and opinions of others. So... My essay is to discuss this statement: For many people, death is a taboo subject in spite of the fact that it is of universal concern. I have to discuss a few points, but I would really like your honest opinion on Why is death treated as taboo? How might treating death as taboo affect the dying person and the grieving person? Fire away!
  13. Is anybody else here taking any coursera classes? I am taking one coursera class (Intro. to Philosophy) at the current time and am enrolled in several others that are set to begin in the coming weeks. I'm just looking to connect with like minded people.
  14. First a guide to what those letters stand for if you're not familiar (I didn't feel like writing it out). I'm a writer so be patient as I tell my story that has no traceable personal info. PA: Physician's Assistant MD: Medical Doctor. In psychiatry, he or she is the psychiatrist. NP: Nurse Practitioner. I guess I should mention that I have depression, general anxiety, and some OCD. I am not an expert, but I believe NPs and PAs (I know this for certain) work under the supervision of a psychiatrist. I have had a variety of both and some are better than others, no matter what their training. I saw an MD who is ranked as being the best in the field locally but I only saw him every four months and he rescheduled constantly. I felt like I barely knew him. When I wasn't seeing him I saw his PA and loved her. She was a little brash and completely different from her boss. I could talk to her more easily and felt like she was helping me. So when she left I followed her. The thing is she isn't perfect. I still got good treatment and she was able to talk to me more. Her "style" is extremely interesting. She doesn't ask me twenty questions straight off the bat such as "How much sleep do you get?" or "Any thoughts of suicide recently" which made squirm. Instead she would ask me about school, how my family, and if I was getting out enough. It sounded like counselling session, but she would suddenly pull out her pad close near the end and describe what she wanted put me on. I realized I was answering all the same questions but in a narrative form. I liked her but I had a bad feeling that she may be be "leaving" soon and made an appointment with a "brilliant" psychiatrists recommended by my therapist. Sure enough, I got a call saying she had left the practice not long afterwards. I like the guy I am with now more than the last MD as I can get in to see him regularly and him and only him. He's not as personal which I didn't mind because I trusted him and he is very nice. I get to talk about what is going on my life but not as in depth. He is more methodical and describes how each med. works typically. And I was excited because he didn't think I sounded depressed. I don't think he has helped me at all. Nothing has changed. He put me on clomipramene and that knocked me out for three days during the week I had three papers due. My therapist talked me into staying with him, but I don't trust him. I have had some family problems recently and it is difficult to weed out what will go away and what needs to be treated. He has me on Paxil and I have no idea whether it is helping me because it takes six weeks to go through and I am four weeks in. I got so frustrated after this past week of lack of productivity in school I decided to pull out the cell phone number for the PA. I had no idea what to say in voice mail so I rambled, but she picked up the minute I hung up. She told me she was thinking about me recently. I found out she wasn't working anywhere which made me want to cry. I told her what was up and when I mentioned I was Paxil she got angry. She explained how it took her a year to get a patient off the drug as the process is extremely slow. That was something the MD never told me even after he upped the dose. She told me to call her whenever. This is what I loved about her. She may not be perfect but she has an understanding of drugs that I have never found in any of the people I have seen. So what do I do? The logical answer is to continue with this guy because who is top-ranked and I am running out of people to see in the area. But the bottom line is, I don't like him. He goes with stats and makes me nervous because I don't trust my own judgement when he gives me options based on what I have taken before. I need to get better fast and I know it is not always an option with drugs. I can't focus and I want to feel like the person I was last semester who got things done and didn't have to begging for excuses. A teacher emailed me today about whether I was giving up on the course. It's online and I don't like her that much, but I am not a quitter. I see my therapist this week and I'll be asking her for advice. I just wanted to get some perspective here.
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