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Hi all. I hope you can help me or give me some advice. I quit klonopin and gabapentin (first tapered one and then the other) and since then nothing but constant panic attacks anxiety and no appetite. The reason I stopped these was because I could not eat anything and I wasn't sure which med was the culprit. I recently read that gabapentin can cause loss of appetite and figure this med is the problem. I tapered from 1500mg/day to 600mg. I took 600mg last night and my doc told me I could go ahead and take 300mg tonight and be done with it. He told me that I should take each lowered dose for 3 days until I was down to 600mg. I have one day left and then within 40 hours it should be out of my system. I've been on gabapentin a few months starting with 600mg and going up slowly but ever since starting I have had trouble eating. I thought it was my anxiety but now I'm not sure. My current meds are only Effexor and ativan prn. I've tapered everything that wasn't having any significant effect. I know for sure that Effexor works for my depression. I've been on it for probably 15 years and I doubt it's causing my appetite issues. Thank you.
My first episode psychosis started June 2013, after a very stressful period which lots of problems happened at the same time and after some sleepless nights. For one week I was living in another world! I completely isolated myself and had lots of delusions and paranoid thoughts. I was thinking there was a conspiracy and all my family and friends are plotting against me. I was thinking they are controlling my internet and watching me through hidden cameras. I thought that I had a tumor or very dangerous illness and they are not telling me the truth. I was thinking they have spoken with a psychologist and he is telling them what to. All Facebook posts and emails I was receiving was a part of that plan. I didn't know what I am doing and I was writing crazy stuff on Facebook, thinking everybody is following. I also had a very strange and strong headaches and I was taking whatever pill I could think of, but none of them was working. I also had some recurring thoughts, for example reading the same comments 100 times or listening to the same music from dawn to dusk. My brain was like in a loop with obsession to specific thoughts. I didn't really know what I was doing. After that horrible week, one night I slowly remembered what I did and wrote. I realized that something is wrong with me but I didn't know what! I thought that I am becoming crazy and I cried a lot. In the morning I was calm and I thought that everything is finished. I was very happy until the headaches started again in the evening. At this point I went to the ER, and after many tests including brain MRI and Lumber puncture, the neurologist said I don’t have any physical problems and probably I have psychosis. I didn't accept that and until the end of August I still believed that I don’t have psychosis and the doctors are not telling me the real problem. They started treating me with Abilify which made me tired and after several days I had restlessness. I can say it is the most horrifying feeling in the world. I had some strange dream-like feelings and I was thinking I’m dying. Every day I was thinking of how to kill myself. I never thought that I could become better. My situation got worse and doctor stopped the Abilify and started Risperdal. After a while I had restlessness again and some very devastating feelings. Doctor reduced the dose and with this change the situation became manageable. But the problems with Risperdal was that it blocked my brain. I couldn't do anything and I was just lying in bed waiting for time to pass. After some weeks I had very severe anxiety and many panic attacks. I was thinking I was becoming crazy and I was suicidal. Doctor gave me Lorazepam and Valium on demand. I also had problems sleeping, having nightmares and night terrors. Doctor gave me some addictive sleep aid pills so I could sleep. In this horrible three months, I was still delusional and I was still thinking people are following me wherever I go, or monitoring me through cameras and so on (But I was thinking everybody is trying to help me!). Doctor said probably I have paranoid schizophrenia but he wasn't sure. Last week of August, I was less delusional and the doctor stopped Risperdal because I couldn’t do anything and my body wasn't adapting to it. But soon after, that strange headaches started again. So doctor started Zyprexa 5 mg and warned me about the weight gain and diabetes possibility. I started a diet and going to the gym. Fortunately, not only I didn't gain weight but I also lost 7 kilograms on it. Zyprexa was a miracle drug for me and all the delusions disappeared and I finally accepted my illness! My anxiety and panic attacks also get better. I reduced the dose to 2.5 mg after a while and I could sleep without sleeping pills. But after a while, I went into a severe depression and mode swings. I didn't have motivation for doing anything and I was sleeping 12 hours a day. Doctor gave me Cipralex (Lexapro). After just a week I had a terrible anxiety so I discontinued but the anxiety didn't go away! After that I struggled with anxiety for several months. I was using Xanax, Valium, Rivotril, etc. to calm down. In March, doctor started 10 mg of Prozac and my depression and anxiety got better after several weeks. In May, I reduced Zyprexa to 1.25 mg and after 2 weeks I stopped it. But severe anxiety and bad feeling started and I restarted taking 1.25 mg again. Since 2 weeks ago (July) I reduced to 0.625 mg and had a little anxiety and insomnia. But it went away after some days. I’m now quite well but still tired in the mornings. I can do my everyday tasks but I still have problems with concentration. I am planning to stay at this dose and after some weeks make it every other day and then cut it off. Is this a good idea to stop taking Zyprexa since I didn't have delusions or paranoia for about one year and am feeling normal? My other question is I don’t know what exactly my illness is!! If I had a first episode psychosis and fortunately I will not have another episode, or I am Schizophrenic? Thank you for reading my long story. Any comments would be appreciated.
New to being diagnosed and nervous about starting medications. 38 year old mom, wife, and some how I have been able to maintain a career for my adult life. My therapist says I am "high functioning" but in my mind says my world in insane.....I just put on a mask and have lots of excuses. Not sure what to say here other than hi and nice to meet you all! Guess I am too paranoid to put too much down. I don't trust myself, much less strangers......so I will work on that and try to connect! Stormborn
Hey everyone! I'm new here...so be patient. I have many disorders, two of them being severe agoraphobia and panic disorder. I take 13 meds a day and am on disability. I am also on medicaid (state run). I got my disability last year while I was hospitalized and had absolutely NO IDEA I was suppose to report it to medicaid. The thought never crossed my mind. I just figured: disability-medicaid-food stamps, etc. fell hand in hand. They have all my documents, SS# etc. I thought they were basically one entity. But I got a letter from medicaid a few weeks ago and they said I didn't report the disability I was getting and they cut my benefits big time. I barely get by on my disability with medicaid covering everything anyway. I don't have cable, I don't have a car, I don't have a phone, etc. but they slapped me with a $300 monthly spend down before they will pay for anything. As it is, I end up with maybe $25 or so at the end of the month, but as of next month, instead of a $3 copay for all my meds...$36 total monthly, I have to pay the first $300. And me being on 13 meds, all I pretty much need, and some being major narcotics I've been on most of my life, I won't be able to afford two of the thirteen, let alone $300 worth. I'm screwed. I can handle the schizoaffective for a period of time as well as other things, but what I CANNOT deal with are my panic attacks! They finally put me on a cocktail of meds that have considerably cut my attacks to maybe a couple a day for maybe an hour at most...before, anything triggered an attack, and sometimes they would literally last 24-36 hours non-stop! I would pace back and fourth the hole time to the point of exhaustion. I tried drinking myself silly to stop them and nothing helped. Finally, one night (and I am not at all suicidal), I was in the basement pacing as fast as I could and could no longer take it. I grabbed a knife, went into my roomates bedroom and said 'Jack, I can't take it anymore' and I was going to just put the knife through my chest they were so bad. He got up and immediately took me to the hospital and I was put in the psychiatric ward. They gave me a shot of something major to calm me down and started me on a cocktail of: Prozac 80 mgs a day; Neurontin 1200 mgs a day; and Clonazepam 6 mgs a day. And after a week I felt better, and after a month or so, they were tolerable. If medicaid doesn't rethink that spend down and I can't afford my meds, it's just a matter of time. Like I said, the other disorders will take a little time to get worse without meds, but I CANNOT take those kinds of panic attacks again. I'm starting to get worse panic attacks since they told me that a couple/few weeks ago. I CANNOT live like that again. I've tried everything for meds with no luck...any suggestions? I've tried everything including each drug company, etc. I promise you, and it won't be voluntary or premeditated, but when those attacks come back and last a day or two, I WILL end up doing away with myself. I also suffer from Cluster headaches annually...I would rather have chronic cluster headaches year around than deal with the extremity of those panic attacks!!! I have 30 days of meds left, then I won't be able to afford them. I can either a.) quit taking all of them and have a roof over my head and in a short period of time, go crazy again without them, or b.) leave the apartment, live on the street and be able to pay the $300 per month (and that won't last long because of my agoraphobia, social/sociophobia, and the fact I'm not street smart and don't know anyone)...or take the fast way out and just commit suicide and get it over with quickly. Any suggestions? They would be much appreciated. Those of you who have had severe panic attacks like that know what I'm talking about. Thank you in advance.