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Showing results for tags 'so tired of this cycle'.
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Rant warning sorry. My mum has been very supportive over the years (and still is) but there are times in my life when I know she's trying to help, & that she wants to help, but she just makes it harder. Over time, I have put on a lot of weight. This has resulted in me becoming unhappy with how I look and doing my best (but not yet succeeding) to loose weight (for myself, for my hubby and for my son). My mum is very fit and into exercise and eating right, she is also rather forthright and pushy. So, the short of it is that once again we're going through a cycle of her commenting on things in my life and it hitting a nerve with me. She comments on my weight and how I need to eat right and exercise for my family, how I need to keep my house clean and organised etc and how I need to work on all of this so that I can get better and become more stable mentally, and then get a job and support my family & supplement my husbands income. Now, she does help us immensely, she pays for my personal training sessions once a week and we rent her house off of her at a low weekly rate. All of these things and more I am so very grateful to her for, I really am, and I thank her often for her help. However, when I get to this point/cycle of her comments wounding me, it's really bloody hard to explain to her that whilst from her perspective I'm not doing enough to help myself or my weight or the house, or looking for work, and how in her eyes it all seems easy to sort out, that for me it's not. I'm seeing a new Shrink, I've only had the first meeting with her, so tbh, I'm not sure if it'll work out or not, for various reasons. I see her again in a month, so will have a better idea after that meeting. What I would like to find is a Shrink who is able to see that I could really benefit from some intensive psychotherapy which due to my location and family life is best able to be achieved by short stays in a private psychiatric facility on a regular basis. As I feel that I would really begin to gain and re-gain the life skills I so desperately need to help me. It is all of the above that I find hard to communicate to my mother. I know that on some level she almost sorta grasps it, but not quite. So until I can achieve my treatment goals, I'm bumbling along as best I can. I just wish I could get my mother to see it that way. My husband is very supportive and understands what I need and how I'm holding on, which is good. It's just a pity he works 60 or so hours a week at 2 jobs. I feel like a failure *sigh* /rant