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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
    • Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
    • Depression - Let a WHAT Be My Fucking Umbrella? (Sod You, Perry Como)
    • Self-injury - The Cutting Board
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    • Not Otherwise Specified - Put your finger on your NOS, on your NOS
  • Meds and Other Crap That Make Life Tolerable
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    • What The Hell is THAT? - Medical, Nutritional, and Lifestyle Alternatives
    • Therapy - The Other Half of the Puzzle
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  • Life Cycle: Mate Spawn and Die
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  • Coronavirus: Because You Don’t Have Enough Crap On Your Mind
    • I Need An Adult!: Where to Find Accurate Information
    • Has Anyone Told the Amish?: Covid-19 in the Media
    • Social Distancing: I’ve Never Felt Closer to You
    • Telemedicine: Is This Thing On? Getting the Most Out of Screen Time With Your Doctor
    • Oh, No, I Couldn’t... Well, Maybe Just One More: Hoarding. Or, uh, Being Prepared
    • Casual Everyday: How to Stop Watching Cat Videos and Get Some Work Done At Home
    • Absolutely No One Walked Into a Bar: Best of Coronavirus Humor
    • But I Need a Damn Haircut: When You Don’t Have the Virus, But You’re Still Falling Apart
    • Countin’ Flowers On the Wall: So Bored We Need a Board For It

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Found 10 results

  1. How do you go about most of your days when you're feeling totally ignored, neglected, unloved, lonely, invisible, and useless, like you don't matter to anyone? I can accept that I will always have depression (and the emptiness & struggle that comes with that) that i must (and do) treat, but it is becoming more and more difficult to accept that I don't deeply matter to anyone but the 2 people that gave birth to me (who will soon be gone). No one else gives a damn. No one is really truly there for you (especially when the chips are down). This is where much of my suffering comes from and why life often does not seem worth living. Does having "self-love" make up for this pain & isolation? And if so, how do you "love yourself"? I already do millions of "self-care' activities everyday, regular therapy appointments, read too many self-help books, and I still have this crushing pain, emptiness and self-hatred inside.
  2. Okay so my group of friends got into a huge argument today, I witnessed it over text. But one of my really close friends (one of the best people I've ever known), she got really mad and relapsed after being clean for so long. I feel really bad, I don't know what to do, I want the people I love to be the happiest people in the world. I'm not triggered, I'm just asking for advice. I want my best friend to be happy.
  3. So as the title says, I am trying to start a depression support group at the community college I attend. I live in a very rural area and the closest place that would have anything like this is 25-30 miles away. The only problem I have is that I have never done anything like this and I need help. I would like to hear your experiences if you've ever attended a support group, good and bad. I would like for my group to be around 50% educational and 50% venting. Any suggestions or maybe a recommendation on what i can talk about would be highly appreciated.
  4. Dear Crazyboard, I'm in the theme park now for almost 5 years and Aim sick of it my bipolar is destroying my body, my interests, social life everything. But the most painful is the constant loneliness i have to deal with. I'm currently living in a housing project for people with mental illness and its like a prison my old friends if you can call them that don't want to come and visit just because of the stigma and vibe this place got. My family is already happy i moved out and now Aim sitting here in my room with no person to talk to it sucks! I'm really searching for someone to talk to doesn't matter how email,whatsapp anything everything is better than sitting here in my lonely room yet another day.. GreetZz, Zoquduan
  5. I've been having a rough time emotionally, and this is separate from my bipolar (even though my mental state has been fluctuating). I am in such emotional pain round the clock, that I have started to think about self harming again. So far I have been good and used therapy approved alternatives like holding ice/snow, markers, etc. I feel ashamed that I am falling into the same pattern of thinking. I have long since got rid of any tools I used before. I sleep horribly...I just want all this pain inside to go away. My one wish tonight is that I could get a proper hug.
  6. Feeling so down and alone. Majorly triggered today by a family member who wrote an inane reply to my email (about how I'm severely depressed again and back on meds, struggling, often suicidal) suggesting: "Chin up, Look on the bright side, Journal about the positive things that happened to you today" "Make a Gratitude list" and the worst one "Don't Worry, Be Happy" because it's useless to stress about the things we cannot control." I seriously cannot believe she thinks this crap is helpful, caring, or empathetic in the slightest. I feel so shitty and alone in this world of people that don't understand anything about Mental Illness. How MORONIC can you be when you respond to a depressed/suicidal family member with an insipid trite quote? I can understand if it's an acquaintance or friend who doesn't really know you, but a Family member who has grown up with you, known you for life? I can't even speak with my own sibling, my spouse is totally clueless about my condition (goes off for beers with colleagues when I've been sobbing & starting new medication, probably because he wants to avoid me). What do you do when EVERYONE FAILS YOU - right when you need them the most? The health "System", your so-called "Friends" and then your own "Family"? Thank you for listening.
  7. About seven years ago I was diagnosed as anorexic along with other things. The meds I was given made me gain weight (which still makes me freak out sometimes). Anyway, of late I have just been off my feed, so to speak. Food doesn't taste good. I have a nutrional drink (nutribreakfast I think) in the am, maybe a yogurt cup in the afternoon, and a small serving of dinner. The only things that taste good are lemonade and pizza. Most of the time I just drink fluids. I know when I was first recovering, everything tasted so intense, so new. Maybe my current meds are affecting my taste. I could go a whole day without eating and not care. I just don't want to fall into bad habits again. Thanks.
  8. Hey, I'm B and I'm 28 and I live in Vegas. I sort of wrote about what brought me here already in my general intro... so, this post can direct you there - if you care. http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/69929-ohey-crazy/ Also, that post will direct you to this other "forum" where I wrote about how weed is just as helpful to me as, let's say, my lexapro. I'm still depressed but I'm kind of rounding a corner on it - so I feel like I can be useful to other people still in the early / getting-help stages of their depression... Also, just having others to talk to on days like today is great. So, yeah, words that are more eloquent and entertaining can be pursued through above link-age. I swear, those posts are better than this one.
  9. Hi, everyone. I looked for an existing thread to hook this to but could not find one. Ths short story is after trying everything except TCAs other than desipramine I forced my shrink to prescribe Parnate. I take 60 mg/d. It only works when augmented with an SGA (currently using Fanapt). I have the typical sleep fragmentation. I'm not in abyss-mode but I'm so, so sad--it's like the Parnate facilitates the movement of sadness and desperation through me, so I cry all the time. Hell, I was watching reruns of "Friends" and crying at *those.* While I am somewhat preserved from total anhedonia I have almost complete anergia. I cannot do anything except surf the web and go to doctor's appointments. The government provides a "homemaker" to come for two hours per week and that is a godsend--having her here helps to motivate me to clean alongside her. The pdoc and therapist have prescribed a dog (an "emotional support animal") to help with my loneliness and isolation, which is crushing. So I take the 60 mg Parnate, 8 mg Fanapt, 150 mg lamotrigine, and 4 mg clonazepam. I would dearly love to go back on Adderall but it's contraindicated with Parnate (though many pdocs use it) but it makes my blood pressure soar. We are looking into Provigil (modafinil) as a means to prevent the absolute necessity of taking a three-hour nap every afternoon. My pdoc mentioned marijuana, which is medically legal in Massachusetts, my home state. Maybe ... in greater than moderate doses it takes away my motivation even more, but in low doses it might help with the anxiety and the tears. Could I raise the lamotrigine? Sometimes switching the atypical works for a bit--I've also had success with Seroquel, Latuda, and Zyprexa. The problem is that Seroquel and Zyprexa make me eat like a fiend. Ideas, ideas?
  10. First, I want to thank you all for sharing your stories of pain. It has helped me realize much in the past several months. Secondly, I hope nobody minds me posting, but I am desperate for something, anything to change. I am not struggling with an illness. My 16 yr old son is and I was hoping to get some advice. Over this summer he smoked K2 and suffered a psychotic break and was admitted to acute care for 9 days after which it was like “a light came on” and he was sent home stabilized. In my mind, I thought it was over. It HAD to be the K2. Since then, over a span of 3 months he has been back in acute care for psychosis two more times and by the weekend, he will probably be admitted a fourth time. The part I am struggling with, other than watching my only son suffer, is that we still have no diagnosis. Can anyone tell me if you have experienced this? They keep telling me that they know so little about the drug and they just don’t know. He is not using, stays on his meds (right now that is Seroquel, Propranolol and Zoloft) but I can see when he starts “tilting”. Before his last admission we actually sat in what used to be his Psychiatrists office and was sent home with a “keep doing what you are doing”. Even I could see he was getting worse. 3 days later he was admitted. Two different Hospitals have suggested long term, but when he gets in and stable, they send him home teetering on the edge with nothing but 30 days of meds and sporadic counseling appointments. The worst of his symptoms are extreme exaggerated guilt, paranoia, disorganized thinking and depression. What is more disturbing is that every time he is hospitalized, his exaggerated guilt becomes, well, even more exaggerated. I have been on FMLA from my job since this started and am about to lose everything if we do not get some help…real help. I guess what I am asking and or looking for is this: Can anyone shed light on why there is no diagnosis? Also, any tips on finding a Dr. that actually cares would be most valuable. The Dr’s and hospitals have not offered ANY structural advice, no coping skills, no education for me or my son which I feel I desperately need (like are there things I should or shouldn’t say, would a change of scenery help at the onset of an episode, etc) We have nothing. My child’s life is being ripped apart and I can’t seem to find a shred of help. Please, any feedback, positive or negative…the more informed I can get the better. My heart and prayers go out to everyone here. I have been made to feel a couple of times that since Mental Illness can’t be seen, it is not really there, you know, like you should be able to control it. Either that or they just throw medicine at us to see if it helps. Absolutely, the meds will help…but where is our support and information? Isn’t that just as important??
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