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  1. Maybe I discribe "Breaif REactive Psychosis" - was wondering if there was an acknowledgement of psychosis as a symptom or effect of Post Traumatic Stress or whether periods of having flashbacks and periods of contempation to the nature of the self in present and recollecting vast amounts of information of what I had blocked out of my consciousness in times my life had been in danger, near miss's with death etc. After a period of several years out of the loop for psychiatry and family putting me in the bin for changes in my personality in relation to creative ideas, long nights playing the guitar reading books etc. I had begun to use yoga and may have had a false enlightenment. I opened up with cue's about the nature of spiritual reality and being in tune with nature as I have done as a child. The death of a cousin and adjustment disorder for stress threshold at university I began learning meta-physical truths in the philosophy of science. I had somewhat had a premonition and opening of the senses accompanied by flooding of ideas in relation to astrophysics class, but desired a new outlook to favor the humanities from my Engineering degree. The trick part is that when I moved house 2 and a half years ago I had a few psycho-stressors including witnessing and trying to catch a man going into seizure at a train crossing which seemed to disturb me yet had claivoyant experience leading to the arrival of a newspaper with a job advertised looking for night shift workers which i sore as ideal-didn;t get the job. I had intrusive rumanitions in identifying with the man having a seizure and remembering conversation with my dead sister. Had a rude bus driver which challenged my nerves and ability to block out negative energies from people, I would diplomacy as part of an unrelated matter. however I would later go into recollecting the events and practicing scenarios to deal with the situation in the future. I had flashbacks of having my life threatened in a near head-on collision with a truck on a country freeway, I had less to drink yet not chosen to drive on the occasion. we cut off a family and caravan which I heard reports that it had killed them, not that I could remember anything from moments after everyone in the car realized what had happened like I went into a dissociative trance.. I remembered more recently vividly that I had grabbed the wheel as the driver froze moments befor impact [i heard perhaps with acuite sense of hearring over conversations at work that the driver of the truck had not fought to conclude that another vehicle was involved in the crash I'm not sure how I stand over this being injustice that drink drivers got away with causing an accident. This I remembered in my most recent pre-hospital admission getting used to my new place and feeling like I might be loosing it. Negative internal triggers regarding family crisis and the stress I was under as a developing sensitive human being for what was considered a relapse from previous family episodes to points of reference made during sleep deprivation and depression regarding memories of times and trauma's associated to my psychiatric history . And family resentments in those times and symptoms I presented that related to traumatic incident that I had blanked out to it having any significance at the time. Sorry this is more difficult then some would understand in describing my entire history to the present. I spent days and nights recalling the details and what we should have done differently and sympathy for the dead family I had remembered, I imagined that I got out of the car, maybe we could have helped. doesn't help that the incident has gone unregistered as the cars involvement indicates a kind of cover-up-- It provoked fantasy and astral dreams about time travel and the use of evil which I had a sensitivity to, panic attacks about percieved happenings and threats to the life of family or relationship to ex-girlfriend to which I felt i held a karmic responsability to as I had fortold a future or potential happening, like the fact that I had a panic reaction previous to the idea I perhap deludedly thought it was real enough to be getting worked up about. - Like I also have flashbacks to the time I was first introduced to using anti-psychotics by a family member, and doctors didnt understand my spiritual perception opening up with sleep deprivation and emotional breakdown regarding a suicide in the family. Wiht significance to resentment of family given my self-reflection of destiny and my potentials being blocked for long periods of time on Anti-psychotics. In my near present transition from moving house to going into hospital and treated for schizoaffective. I desired to talk to my family in the distress and that just triggered more problems with emotional reactivity to inhospitable social interaction with my family that corresponds to the times I've had threats on my life I've been submitted to psychiatry *I had a near death experience on Acu-phase {however it is spelt= zuclopanthixol fast acting antipsychotic} I nearly would have died, was lectured by a psych-nurse going into it, and only barely got the medical attention i needed by going to the nurses station trying to make a choking sign as my tongue was quickly going down my neck- I remembered treatment and stages I was considered unconsciousness, and being at one pint declared dead as my pulse was so feighnt. {there is a multitude of life memory that I have been subjected to with intrusive rumanitions about them, effecting my moods etc, and content of creative visualisations, like I treat factors and near death experiences with a certain importance to me spiritually that nobody could possible understand. There was another time I remembered recently of being hung in a noose and left to die that I got myself down from} blanked that out as a joke, yet it sat differently in my mind upon flashback as a life threatening situation which I handled by treating it as a joke and drinking bear -funny my psychotic symptoms were fear that someone could be after me [like the guy involved that his sister told me he'd gone to jail], feeling llike I had a noose around my neck which I correlated at the time as having significance to my dead cousin who tragically hung herself. Social disfunction and history of them putting me in psych lock up is tricky to deal with in a stage the current antipsychotics do away with periods of remembering all the information and threats to integrity of the self that has lead to my current situation in life that I see to be deficient to the hands of the effects of depleted dopamine function for my optimal performance and motor skills to practice my therapuetical arts. I have the flashbacks of the most trivial things which serve in making adjustments to my personality and destiny functioning, some leave me full of resent I would play out scenarios with negative influences of my life, and self assessed changes in my personality from what could be described as telepathic in nature, or going into meditation and mindfullness of energetic influences. I've also had the awareness that my altered states of consciousness were brief and identifiable with my knowledge of the mind-body connection I argued throughout my history before learning chi-gong to overcome any form of neurosis and heal the body, like learning inner alchemy gives one a stronger awareness of the actual functioning of the consciousness when considered Psychotic by Professionals. Rather my perspective gives the illusion of bias toward being seen as having graduer delusions My psychotic state were directly triggered by a definable stress that needed to be dealt with, I didn't find the psychiatric intervention at all in a greater perspective to the overall functioning of my life to be helpfull in the slightest.
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