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Found 11 results

  1. I had to switch to a different medical insurance policy this year, and it only covers a dozen therapy appointments per year. Before that, my old insurance had a deductible and covered 90% after, Plus an annual out-of-pocket maximum, so it was essentially “unlimited” therapy sessions. I’ve been seeing my therapist weekly for 3 years and it’s really important for me. Most of the time, that is the only day I leave the house. (Psychiatrist is once a month.) Anyway, now I can’t afford to pay for weekly sessions. Not sure what to do. ?
  2. It's 11 and I woke up at 2 or 3. I don't remember. I went to bed around midnight. I have a disappointed cat and a cold apartment. An appointment with one therapist tomorrow and another on Thursday. Tomorrow is going to be with a therapist that has a focus on youth. I'm 29 so I'm only 'several months away from our last meeting. She's been with me for over 6 years. Oversaw my homelessness, my transition, my going into and out of hospitals. I want to keep seeing her weekly for years to come but I guess it's only reasonable. And the right time. If it wasn't I'd know. I just kind of.. I'unno. Her and I talk about nightmares a lot. They really fucking suck. I don't know if it's because I forgot to take my med last night but I had a lot of them. Walked in on a play my friends were putting on. Accidentally wandered on stage and I didn't have a part in it. So I ran off stage and into a field that kept changing. I got a call from a friend and I couldn't describe what I was seeing. I realized that no one could understand and I was going crazy. I then "woke up" in a dark room and someone was pounding on a door it was a rapist and I was in trouble. Lately I've been having those pop up in my dreams a lot. I won't share anymore. But I woke up for real and saw mealworms covering my body. And then the dream imagery stuff kind of faded away. So. that's cool. Usually I write a bit of what I dream to my therapist when it's awful. It must not be weird to have a connection with a therapist you've been seeing. I mean.. C'mon it's their job. But. Still. I'm an adult and in a way I feel like I'm going to be stepping out into the big wide world alone. In some ways I've been alone for most of my life. It's just.. in some ways it feels more so now that we're dissolving the relationship. Her practice is growing in leaps and bounds. She's going on a sabbatical and I... the great 29 year old kid is going to be looking for new caregivers. I guess. In a couple of months. Then why does it feel like it's already happened? Then why am I still scared to go to sleep like a child? Then why am I 29 years old still unable to go grocery shopping, step out of her apartment, still unable to shop for clothes and haven't done laundry in months? then why am I? I don't know... Why do I feel like I've already missed out on most of life? Unable to bring myself to play with my cat and spend a substantial amount of my time crying alone? I guess I don't know. fuck life. right?
  3. I have never had a therapist that can't make up her f&*king mind how long a session is. Supposed to be 45 minutes, maybe running over, at least thats what was explained in first session. This woman it dont matter it may be 40, 35 and now were getting into 25 minutes, for Christ sake I dont want to drive the distance for 25 minutes. Plus what the hell is the insurance paying for something different every week. I know I should say something but I guess IM at this vulnerable stage where right now I just dont have it in me. Although I do feel like telling her next wednesday I called my insurance companies cause I was concerned why their only paying for 25 minutes now, see if she gets the hint. Also, just tired of never knowing how long I have to talk or if I'm gonna be instantly cut off. this is a new one on me, before an hour was an hour, maybe fifty minutes but it was consistent week to week.
  4. Had a question from therapist yesterday that kind of made me think, thought I'd bring it here. She ask me: Do you feel you're at a point that you are in control of your bipolar now? After some thought had to answer truthfully NO, I've never really felt in control of it at all. Basically in two hours or at any time my whole mood can change like flipping a switch, and I really don't immediately notice the switch. But it seemed a pretty profound and fair question, maybe some folks are more in control of it. Kind of wonder if there was a right or wrong answer and by the way I've been bipolar for roughly 25 years if it matters. well actually schizo-affective, bipolar 1 type for the last couple years, if the labels are important. s
  5. I've been seeing various professional, licensed therapists for over 20 years now (every modality, you name it). I have not made any kind of noticeable progress and each session now I get more and more frustrated/hopeless/depressed/bored AF because I'm wasting money on something that isn't helping...Therapy is centered around diving into the past, healing past wounds, talking about childhood, blaming others for said bad childhood. Over-analyzing thoughts/feelings/behaviors. My therapist just sort of listens and asks questions - that's it!! There's a huge uptick in people offering various "Life/Personal coaching" packages. I'm wondering if anyone here has tried or considered these? Problem is, many are just young "DIY" type people promoting themselves on Facebook. It's really difficult to navigate the space to find credible individuals, not scammer-types spouting stuff like "how I made my million-dollar business" "manifest your perfect life" BS. Life coaching appears to be more proactive though, about forward movement and goal setting. I'm wondering if anyone has benefited from this stuff?? What criteria would you use to choose someone?
  6. So Ive really been feeling bad so i tell my therapist like 4 or 5 times Im feeling suicidal, the last time I ask if "I appeared too happy because I do tend to put on a happy face, even when depressed", she says that don't really happen then she says "Well I've been told I can recognize someone suicidal very well". I thought on the way home, dont really happen oh yeah like Robin Williams. Anyway, as she is only 29, I wondered and remembered everytime I bring up Bipolar, Depression, PTSD, Halucinations and voices and especially self-harm she changes subject. And later that night I cut. Now I am wondering although she is a clinical social worker, is she really qualified for mental illnesses beyond basic couseling or not confident in those areas. For the most part I do really like her but, hey, as you can see below I got quite a mess of mental problems, I do need someone competent in those areas.
  7. Just changed my therapist as the old one moved too far away....across the country, sucks cause I was with her like 14 years. Anyway, to the point, do most people feel kind of like the R.E.M. song "Losing my Religion" where he says "oh no I've said too much I haven't said enough" and by the way I do think this new tdoc is great so far so I don't think it's her really.
  8. Hi all, (I don't know if this the right forum - sorry if I messed up) I've seen my therapist for a year and now he's moving out of the area. I go to a county mental health agency for both therapy and pdoc. When therapist told me about leaving he mentioned that I may want to switch to another therapist there who I know. The two of them run a therapy group that I'm in, so we know each other to an extent. . What I'm wondering about is if I should make the change now or not. He already has a new job, but has to find a place to live in an area that's hard to find one. So it could be a week from now or months (I guess they're holding the job for him). Also, i've gone through so much crap, that we're just still going through the getting to know you phase + work on dealing with current situations. For that reason I don't want to start all over again. I know getting a new therapist is pretty common, but my situation feels like a side step, so I'm unsure. What would any of you do?
  9. Hello, once again I'm putting this on CB for several reasons. One is for prosperity; I can review it in my account and see the progress I've made down the road. And because I want to put it our there so I don't feel so alone in my struggles. Here goes nothing again: October 4, 2014 Mr. R, I like to drink water. I really enjoy it iced-cold with a touch of crystal light in my larger tumbler with a straw. For quite some time I’ve been drinking plain water straight from the faucet. This analogy is indicative to my life I’ve lived for too long. Tap water sufficed as though I didn’t deserve or have the willpower for this and other simple pleasures anymore. A fog of depression, anxiety, and confusion prevailed. R, you’re partially responsible for some of this fog; you hindered and even regressed any progress I may have made in therapy. Yes, decades of mood swings, irritability, anxiety and isolation exist in my life. I went to you, a well respected, knowledgeable professional to have better mental health. Having mental illness is horrific and having to take medication is horrible. Worse, though, is a life of only surviving and barely maintaining. I wanted help and turned to therapy again hoping to finally cope better specifically with ptsd symptoms. I didn't know what to expect. I trusted you to help me function better, find relief in my struggles, and to finally find some solace. You didn't help. You hindered any progress. Now, I need to forgive how it was and see how it is. You made me have to waste time seeing how it is and I deplore what you did. And I resent having to go through the process in therapy now. You’re at fault. To end on a positive note: right now I have my tumbler filled with freezing cold grape flavored natural water; I’m making progress already. No thanks to you. ~angel-heart Thanks for taking the time to read.
  10. I've being seeing my therapist since 1995. i really don't believe i would be alive if it wasn't for him. he lets me call him, whether it's an emergency or i just need to talk. he's such a good therapist--he empowers me all the time. i want to see him the rest of my life!!!! Which i know is impossible. i have an action plan in place to get with someone else and see them both the last three months he practices and i know when the time comes we'll spend a lot of time on it. But just thinking about it make me cry. i try really hard not to think about it, but it's impossible not to think about it sometimes. i kind of feel like he raised me in the area of emotions and what's going on inside. my family took good care of me in all the other areas of life, but i don't think they were capable of raising me like i needed in that area. I can't imagine my life without him in it! i know he will let me call him sometimes after he retires, but he likes to travel, especially to Italy, so i won't even know if he's on this continent! Any thoughts, anyone? I'd love some feedback, especially from people who have been through this too. Thanks!
  11. Ok, So, A little while ago, I wrote about losing my Vyvanse. For those who don't know: I lost almost a whole bottle of vyvanse. Now, I looked everywhere at my house. I looked in my car. Not there. So, I think that maybe since I was sleepy, maybe I took my whole bottle to my stupid day program. Now, I think that a person from the day program may have been sneaky and somehow stolen my vyvanse. Everyone there is a suspect. I want to punch everyone. Today, I got a call from my psychiatrist. I let my therapist call my psychiatrist to tell her about the vyvanse issue. That's the only thing i told my therapist that she could say to my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist said that my therapist sent her a letter complaining about my behavior lately. My therapist claims that I have been more irritable on the vyvanse. I told my DAMN therapist that the fucking vyvanse is not making me irritable. It makes me feel better. I feel better when I have motivation to get out of bed and shower. Day program is making me irritable. So, my therapist sent my psychiatrist a letter lying to her. I feel so irritable because my capacity for human contact is dwindling. I am so sick of my day program. I can't stand being around people. I like to be alone. Why you ask? Because I like my privacy. I like to daydream. I feel like I am being smothered by people. I like to be alone 95%of my time. I love privacy. That is why I am getting so irritable, not because of the vyvanse. One day, last week, my therapist was not there. So, a different therapist had me read an overview of what my therapist thinks. I told this other therapist to make a correction. It said that I got more irritable on the vyvanse. That is a damn lie. So, I wrote on the paper so that my therapist could correct that statement. Well, my therapist never corrected it and she sent the letter to my psychiatrist. My therapist is a lying son of a bitch. This is a conspiracy against me because I swear at my therapist. She makes me so mad. When I get verbally out of control, she boots me out of her office. She is mad at me and she is trying to make me pay for it. I hold grudges forever. She is messing with the wrong person. Now, tomorrow, I have to yell at her. She really thinks she is on her high horse. I will knock her off her high horse verbally really soon. I have to wait for a while. I have been off my Vyvanse for more than a wek. I have to wait until mid october to get a new vyvanse scrip. Guess what? I am just as irritable off my vyvanse as I was on it. How do you deal with bullshit therapists? How do you put them in their place? How do you knock an arrogant asshole off their high horse?
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