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  1. For those who are not in an acute episode..... How often do you see a therapist? I've seen therapist regularly & consistently for the 20 years I've been dealing with this disease. I take breaks here & there, and have switched numerous times. At moment, I'm thinking about cutting down to every other week. I'm sick of going & seeing so much money invested when my depression is lifelong & chronic. Been seeing my current therapist weekly for the last 5 months. I do like her. It is good having someone to talk/vent to (especially during a year of lockdowns, isolation) but I I'm just feeling burnt out & don't know what to do. I'm still depressed, but stable, and it seems this is as good as it gets.
  2. So for seventeen years I've had pain depression. It especially feels like it's squeezing my heart. It hasn't historically been *about* anything. I've just chalked it up to biochemistry, heredity. And I've thought about suicide, most days, for at least fifteen years - because pain sucks. Ups-and-downs. Roller-coasters. Probably every person on here has done time at the worst torture theme park in the world. Two years ago, my cocktail started working. There was some CBT and DBT in the mix too. I decreased my daily Ativan from 3mg to 2mg. Plus 20mg Latuda, 300mg Sertraline, 100mg Topamax. I actually felt happy, for about two years, until this October. Then it stopped working. And I stopped working. I work in a level I trauma center, where I identify cancer, anemia, and the effects of the coronavirus on the human body. I feel like I have a front row seat to human suffering, without being empowered to ameliorate it, and it's another kind of torture. I am very tired of fighting. If there was a euthanasia travel agency, where I could just walk in, plan my funeral and end-of-life arrangements, plan my ideal death, and just call this thing at 38, that would be a somewhat attractive option (not telling, The Tallest Man on Earth, flaming-Viking-burial-at-sea.) I'm tired of fighting this disease, personally. And I'm tired of coming up against the tsunami of "world suck" (H/T Vlog Brothers) which seems to be hate-fucking itself ad astra. So the strain theory, which I haven't read much on yet, is that we consider the termination of our lives when under one or more types of strain. I personally find this theory hopeful, as targeting the sources of strain, i.e. "world stuck," could reduce the inducements to terminate one's life. The General Strain Theory, according to one Wik I. Pedia cites loss of positive stimuli, addition of negative stimuli, or the inability to reach a desired goal, as three possible sources of strain. I will follow up on this with my tdoc on Wednesday. I think work is introducing negative stimuli, and I have a shit ton of unreached goals, but am starting to care about goals less and less. Basically, it pisses me off that I've had to dramatically reduce my goals due to my diseases, and it's kind of tempting to just leave the party. Please feel free to weigh in if you have personal and or academic experience with this. I'm also meeting virtually with my pdoc tomorrow... to tweak the cocktail. Would love recommendations. My current rx mix, dxs and rx, failures are in my signature. Lamictal induces hives and vomiting. Depakote causes dyskinesia. Lithium ruined the thyroid and causes acute renal failure. Medicine. Ha ha. Organ roulette. So the observation about different species of depression is that while for a decade-and-a-half I experienced what seemed like purely biochemical, chains-around-my-heart, tar-and-shark-filled, basements-beneath-basements depression. This feels more like a rational(?) depression, which has me concerned about whether it will be responsive to biochemical therapy.
  3. Just bailed on my teletherapy with a new therapist.... I'm trying this online therapy site (due to quarantine) and I really want to quit. Every week I dread the call and feel like it's not helping me. I don't feel upset, I just feel avoidant, bugged, apathetic, like I'm not "in the mood" to talk at all.... Yet I know it's "good for me" and I'm stuck. Feeling guilty... The initial therapist I had (6 sessions with) said she is making a "career transition" and is suddenly no longer be available. She was nice & whatever, but really too green,( I was about to switch anyway). They assigned me to another person and I don't really connect with her profile (haven't talked to her yet) I just feel so much resistance right now.... Maybe I'm not committed enough at the moment. I don't know what's going on...?
  4. I've seen dozens of therapists for 20+ years, it feels totally counter-productive at this point (at least for chronic depression). I always end up feeling worse (before session and after session)....I've read most of the books they suggest, tried all the CBT, DBT, Mindfulness....Longterm therapy is also a huge financial burden. I'm feeling really done with processing shit, repeating stuff over & over. All the talking and tracking moods makes me much more self-absorbed than I already am. Then nothing really changes!!! Despite my efforts. Meds are not helping either, so I feel like a hopeless case. Maybe I just stick to the emotionally numbing meds and just accept that this is my life and I can't change? What are your experiences?
  5. I wonder if I have too high expectations, am jaded or a hopeless case. But I've only had 1 Therapist in 20+ years of regular therapy that I felt was pretty decent, who helped me progress & feel better (and I've seen at least 15). Beyond obvious traits like: good listener, observant, empathetic, caring, dedicated, positive, clear communicator, transparent, proactive, validating, non-judgemental, intelligent (and someone who simply just understands & "gets" you.) Nobody's perfect, but.. What other traits, qualities, behaviors make a great therapist? Have you ever had one that totally meets your criteria? I am so sick of settling and trying to find someone who can really help me. I give everyone like 4-5 session trial at least. Maybe I just need to quit altogether, go at it alone and try harder to help myself 😢
  6. I have a dark, defeatists attitude. I will migrate to the negative view. I rarely can or will hold on to positive things, I miss out on life's joys and pleasures as I have been in the pit for so long So, my therapist has asked me on a daily basis to come up with 3 positive affimations. I have expanded it a bit to include things I am grateful for as well. I started to list my three things in my blog, probably still will. I have found it difficult but really rewarding. Really really rewarding. I have to think hard some days and others they flow. I want to hear your three things. I want to pass on the change that I have been given from what seems a simple task. So I will go first: 1) summer is here 2) I love the color green and am surrounded by it. 3) I get joy out of coloring, makes me feel better and distracts me when I need distracting. Okay so what are your three things?
  7. I regret not dropping this tdoc after the 2nd session. There are great therapists and terrible ones....just because they have a PhD and experience, doesn't make them brilliant or amazing. Who's on your bad therapist list? The patronizing, blaming, insensitive ones? Or ones that don't listen, understand, or communicate clearly? They make assumptions, judgements, no clue. I kept my cool, dignity and respect, despite getting shut down with an earful of patronizing comments (obviously trying to trigger me or chase me out of the clinic, one of the two). Invalid assumptions about me, none of which resonated at all, not true to my experience and dude left me no space to interject. Simply expressing disagreement with him means I'm "oppositional" Hmm. OK. 2nd session was told I have a "lack of commitment and effort" toward my mental health. How insulting, great. Are you f&cking kidding me? 20 years of therapy, loads of self-help, discipline, hospitalizations, med compliant, healthy lifestyle. I've DONE a lot of work. Stuck with all therapists consistently. I keep going and continue to try. WHY ELSE WOULD I PAY AND COME SEE YOU 6 TIMES? The reply....."(gives exaggerated sigh) Obviously, you've never had any therapists that have challenged you before, they probably let you talk... this is why you haven't recovered. I'm experienced, LOADS of my clients fully recover in 3-6 months" How presumptuous, you know nothing of my previous therapists or me yet, maybe I'm not like "all your clients." 🙄 [Edit : Endnote] The session ended on a most dis-empowering note. He said (with a pity look in eyes) "Maybe you won't and can't get any better, or change, maybe you should give up, you shouldn't even try...." I have never in my life had a therapist encourage me to give up and not try. In fact, that comment is exactly what pushes a vulnerable client AWAY from seeking help. A client like me, who has struggled with decades of hopelessness. Thanks for nothing insensitive asshat. Many ways to lose a therapy client. End of Rant.
  8. My therapist has been trying to convince me to go into a DBT intensive outpatient program. I have been avoiding it because I am agoraphobic (I don't ever leave the house alone) and it's a hassle in terms of getting there. My disability attorney convinced me to do it because she said it would be very helpful for my case. I am scared though. Anyone have any experiences with IOP they want to share, good, bad, or ugly?
  9. My new therapist recommended another therapist that deals with PTSD and other issues. PTSD because of loss of many family members. I mentioned to her that I can't recall many memories from my past, let alone a few weeks ago like general conversations. I can't even remember the first time holding either of my daughters. My parents fought a lot when I was younger. I know that it happened, even physical fighting, but can't remember in detail. Willing to pay whatever the cost to find out why I am the way that I am including taking expensive Latuda. Has anyone had a breakthrough with dealing with their bipolar and depression? Anyone ever get some answers from a professional? I'm worried that if I don't tackle these issues now, how can I be a better parent, a better person or even consider marriage? My boyfriend thankfully is very supportive, but doesn't live with me. I'm tired of the days that I wish my life was over when I am truly blessed or times that I feel my life has slipped on by without any progress.
  10. Have any of you have had a longterm therapist becoming less & less available? I feel like she is subtly trying to get rid of me... I've seen her for a year & a half (for a long time was every week, and lately every 2 weeks and she was flexible). And now, seems I can only get in every 4-5 weeks... I chose her because I can walk to her office in 5 mins and she accepts low price/sliding scale. It's fine as a sounding board, But honestly, its not helping me, I'm avoiding trying to find someone else, because it's so difficult to find someone that you connect with where it doesn't take 40+ minutes out of your day to travel there...I'm not severely depressed, just the same anhedonia, no motivation, interest and general unhappiness/dissatisfaction no matter what I try or do. Just thinking out loud.. How long would you keep seeing a therapist if you genuinely like the person (and feel comfortable) but after a year, never leave with any insights really..she simply doesn't do CBT or behavioral therapy, only talk (well, it's mainly me talking the entire time and her asking a few hypothetical questions to think about at the end.) Out of the many therapists I've had, all of them have been underwhelming and usually expensive. I feel like quitting because after all these years I seem to be getting very little out of it :-(
  11. For too long, I was doing horribly. Multiple hospitalizations, mostly for PTSD and bipolar depression. Well a few weeks ago I started therapy with a great therapist that accepts medicaid. Her office has a giant window that looks over Lake Michigan and that almost makes me happier than the therapy itself. Well anyways, we've been doing standard talk therapy and CBT and the more I talk, the more my issues seem less important. The arguments with family, the anger at my landlord, etc. They just seem less important and don't bother me anymore.I haven't been to a therapist in a year and a half because I thought it was pointless and didn't help but I guess I never found the right therapist (with an awesome view while pouring my guts out.) I also switched from geodon to seroquel 150mg so that is helping too. I am able to drink coffee again without panic and anxiety. I am gaining more interest in things like video games, reaading, coloring. Whereas before I couldn't even shower or brush my teeth. I just stared into space for hours. I really hope this lasts. I've never felt so normal in awhile. I've stayed at depression centers for weeks and months, ptsd trauma center for over a month. Nothing did it. Maybe this is just a fluke and eventually it will peeter out, but I'm hoping for the best. Wish me luck!
  12. When my psychiatrist quit, I had no idea. I was assigned another one, who will very likely leave me. It's one of those programs where the doctors are all residents. I walked in, and the lady at the desk told me the doctor left. Wasn't a big deal. I see the psychiatrist for meds. As long as the meds work, all she needs to do is write prescriptions. I do like that she's nice. So now my counselor quit and I only cry when I think about it. Five years. I had her before either psychiatrist. She closed the doors. No more patients. Doing her own thing now. That's awesome. She referred me to another whom she knows personally and met while working together. I'm sure because she's sure I'll be fine. But I was already perfectly fine and dandy, and didn't really see the need for her to leave and for me to see a new lady. What am I supposed to do? The appointment is scheduled. This woman is, as long as we get along, my new counselor. It's a whole new person I am supposed to trust off the bat, and confide in. I'm supposed to assume she knows what she's doing. We're starting on our third date here, and I'm the only one in the relationship freaking out. If you've done this before, what's the easiest way to start over? I know she's a different person, and it will be like starting from scratch for me. Old counselor sent her notes and talked about me. I'm going in blind and she is not, but it's not about her.... so, okay?
  13. When I talk to my therapist, I tell her about people I have met online and how supportive they have been. And that I connect with them very well. She always questions if this site makes me worse? And always keep reminding me the people I am talking to have mental illness and may not be good for me. It makes me sad, because she should look over their MI and see that they are a person that talk about other things than their issues. I am just curious on your thoughts and if any of you experienced this in therapy.
  14. For me lately, it fits somewhere between going to the doctor, an Obgyn appointment, and having to get a filling at the dentist. Never enjoyable, usually boring or painful. I’ve seen the same therapist 6 months and every time I leave her office, I feel worse. My mood drops and it triggers my negative rumination again. Even if the rest of my day was OK. Is this common? I like her as a person, she is nice/empathic, comments a little bit. Yet, the sessions are exactly the same every week: I sit down, (PAUSE/silence), she then looks at me and says “well?” and then comes my redundant monologue about the events that week, how I feel (the same/depressed). We don’t practice any behaviors, or troubleshoot, she doesn’t give me new insight to myself and I haven’t made progress. I told her that I feel stuck & I’d like a bit of “homework” to do/more interactive problem-solving..but she says she doesn’t really do that. I know, I should find a new therapist….problem is, I can’t. I live in a foreign country and very very few people speak English. I’ve had trial sessions with like 3 of the only English-speaking therapists around and I really didn’t connect. Maybe I should just phase her out and go at it alone? Tired of paying $$$ out of pocket just to simply talk about my week. I might as well start a blog or just journal. It’s not productive.
  15. Perceiving value in your life is not a thought form of perception (awareness) at all. Rather, it is an emotional awareness. In other words, our emotions do not have some sort of mind control effect on us where they force us to perceive, through our thinking, our lives being good or bad to us. It is purely the emotions themselves that allow us to see values in our lives. Emotions are actually a sense like sight. They allow us to see the values that things and situations hold in our lives. It is only our positive emotions that allow us to see the positive qualities of life (i.e. the good values) while it is only our negative emotions that allow us to see the negative qualities of life (i.e. the bad values). Having neither positive nor negative emotions would be no different than a blind person. No value judgment can allow this blind person to see just as how no value judgment or mindset can allow us to see the values in our lives.
  16. Hi all. My girlfriend was in therapy in college and the Dr there had given her depression/anxiety meds but she's run out. She felt like they helped but wants to put a label to what's going on so that way the meds will be a better fit. We moved so she's seeing a therapist outside of college for the first time, every two weeks for about 6 months and she feels like it isn't helping. She does get along with the therapist. I sat in with her on one of the sessions when my gf wanted me to give my POV of what her emotions/mood swings/outbursts are like. The therapist seems to be very focused on changing her way of thinking which is good but says a lot of things like "happiness is a choice" and other similar things regarding happiness. My gf wants to be happy and does have negative thinking and emotional outbursts, mainly anger and sadness. She's very down about therapy and feels like the sessions recently are a chore and hates going to them because nothing has changed. I'm not sure what to help her look for when we move again soon and search for another therapist. Does anyone have any recommendations? She would like to be diagnosed and feels like a bad person/that something is wrong with her that can never be "fixed." x gentlelamb
  17. Soooooo, I'm "interviewing" a couple of new tdocs to go to regularly. This woman I just met (whom I had a good rapport with) mentioned she often does "psychoanalysis" type therapy (it's not the only therapy she does however)....she has a couch you can lay on & everything. I have the impression that Psychoanalysis is an "old school" type therapy, that focuses on abstract intellectual process/childhood blathering compared to more tangible day-to-day skills therapy or structured method of improving symptom management. Just to note: i have done a ton of CBT (not helpful at all), DBT groups & individual (helpful, but no therapists here do this type) and a few others like A.C.T. These are more structured... Curious if anyone has gone to a Psychoanalyst and found it helpful (specifically for chronic depression and negative thought patterns)
  18. I feel like doctors don't take me seriously anymore. They ignore my long-term, not as easily explained symptoms. One is my blurry vision. I mention it to a doctor/therapist/psychiatrist and they just sort of nod and then never mention it again. Despite the fact that it's the reason I don't get a driver's license, which makes it hard to find work in the field I studied in. And another problem is that I had symptoms that mimicked DID for a few years. They vanished, over a year ago, and no one except my therapist will even address it. And my therapist has a bunch of conflicting theories, one of which is REALLY insulting. And it seems to be the one she's grabbing onto right now, even though her earlier theories made a lot more sense. My therapist had been hoping the psychiatrist would help explain the DID symptoms, but he didn't even address them. It came up, part way through the diagnostic session, but he then dropped it and never brought it up again. I just want some answers... and it almost feels like if there isn't an easy one, they just pretend the problem doesn't exist. I know it's hard to diagnose something after the fact, but they could at least be more helpful. Like, I know my therapist is trying. I know she is. But I feel like she isn't really listening to me. Like, I'll explain why a theory doesn't make sense, and she just kind of nods and then repeats the same theory next session. She could at least refute my points This is like. One of the first times I've ever disagreed with her, too. Most of the time, I take her word as the truth. But this argument just makes no sense. I wasn't going to say exactly what she said, but it's really upsetting and maybe writing it here will help. So she basically said that I was inducing the symptoms as a way to fit in with my friends, who also have mental illnesses. Which makes no sense, because some symptoms appeared before I met them. Not to mention, some of THEIR symptoms didn't become apparent to me until AFTER the DID symptoms started. They then felt comfortable enough to open up to me. Also, I was terrified and ashamed of a lot of my symptoms, worrying that I was a burden. Doesn't that completely conflict with wanting to fit in? I don't know. It just really upsets me. I feel like people in the medical field have their own ideas, and will discount all evidence to be correct. I used to have a doctor who was OBSESSED with making me gain weight, to the point of messing me up pretty bad. Another who thought I had a disorder that caused me to mishear words, but I then learned that she had written a lot of papers on that disorder and was probably just wanting me to have it so she could study me. I don't know. I just. I'm so sick of doctors not trusting me. They all think I'm a liar, or a faker, or something. I just want someone to believe me. Sorry this rant is so emotional.
  19. Hi everyone, I just wanted to pass on a tip from my therapist. I was starting to fall into anorexic remission, when they suggested trying microwaveable meals. They have small portions and almost always have all the components you need for a proper diet. This may be old news to some, but as somebody who has lived most of their lives without a microwave, this was inspiration. It is great not only because the portions are easy to get through, but you can also have food (almost) instantaneously. So when you feel a weak pang of hunger, you can pop some food into your face in about 2 minutes, encouraging your mind to listen to your body's queues. Hope this helps somebody get back on track! Poem
  20. I'm writing about this on crazyboards because I'm not sure where else to go about it, although it might sound a little crazy to some. I recently ( less then a year ago) terminated with a therapist had been seeing for close to 15 years. I had and still have very deep transference issues towards her. I cared about what she thought about me a lot, and constantly asked her if she cared. When we ended she gave me a card that told me how much she cared about me, how much she will continue to care about me, etc. She still works at the same clinic I saw her at, but only as an intern supervisor. She told me, since she will still work there, that she will ask my case manager for updates on how I am doing. She also promised me two phone calls at the beginning of my sessions with my new therapist to make sure the transition was going smoothly for me. Anyways, it has now been almost 10 months since we terminated. I never received any phone calls from her. I thought " well I'm sure she has her reasons, but surly she's asked about me" so I asked both my case manager and my new therapist if she's asked about me since the termination. Like asked how I was doing, anything. Nope. Nothing. I'm starting to doubt that she really cared about me. I mean, she's not even curious at all to how I'm doing? I'm wondering if anyone can weigh in what other reasons she might have for not asking about me. Would it be a break in confidentiality for her to ask someone in my new treatment team if I am okay? Or maybe she never really cared, everything in that card was just a lie. I'm about to rip that card up and clear out of my head that this woman ever cared about me. I feel super depressed about it too. I feel like I based 15 years on a lie. I feel like with that card I actually had tangible proof that she cared despite years of not believing her. I feel lied to.
  21. I am currently taking antidepressants and I am worried because of the testimonies of people here in this link below. Scroll down and you will find them. Some people are fine even after taking them for many years. But some have their lives destroyed. In particular, I am worried about all my motivation and everything about me being wiped out from these medications. https://prof77.wordpress.com/2012/10/26/testimonies-of-people-destroyed-by-antidepressants/
  22. I struggle with chronic anhedonia and it has lasted for over a year and a half now. But I have come up with a theory that might get rid of it for me and everyone else who struggles with it right here and now. I don't know if this will work or not, but with anhedonia, you have a chronically overly active part of the brain (the hpa axis which is the area of the brain responsible for the stress response) while another area of the brain turns off which is the area responsible for feelings of pleasure (our good moods). If you can make yourself pass out, then that overly active part of the brain might turn off and allow your feelings of pleasure to turn back on. The brain has to devote all its function to vital organs and such to keep them alive while you are passed out. So this would have to mean that the overly active part of the brain I mentioned would have to turn off. So when you wake back up, you might have your full feelings of pleasure back to you and no more anhedonia. Being aware of stress (both consciously and subconsciously) also causes that stress region of the brain to become overly active as well. When it is overly active and can't be regulated, that is why the area responsible for pleasure turns off. So by making yourself pass out in this situation as well, then you would have temporarily gotten rid of all conscious and subconscious awareness of that stress which would turn off the stress response. Awareness of stressful life events=overly active stress response. Absence of awareness=no stress response. So if you can also wake back up having amnesia, then that stress response would also be turned off for the time being and further give your brain the chance to regulate itself and turn its feelings of pleasure back on. This whole thing is just a theory of mine. I don't know if it will work or not. I'm not sure if I should recommend others trying it and reporting back to me to see if it worked for them or not. If it works for them, then I am going to try it. I also thought of being put out by anesthesia which would of been a better alternative to passing out since anesthesia puts you out longer. But since I don't have that option, then making myself pass out would be the only option here. There is a way to do it. I heard that you have to hyperventilate and stand up.
  23. There are things regarding my Mental Health that I need to inform my Pdoc and Tdoc. It does effect my treatment; medications and therapy. However it does not involve self harm or anything of that nature (more on the lines of symptoms they don't know about). I have a fear of 'unwarranted' diagnosis, stemming from past situations that causes major trust issues in telling things to my current team. Basically it is getting harder hiding things from them, and I need to share some symptoms before I go into any kind of crisis (we well as preventing crisis, and just getting correct treatment). To be able to tell them though, I need to feel safe - and I was hoping someone could answer some questions to help me with that.... My Pdoc and Tdoc are on the same care team, can they share information without my permission? My Pdoc visits are only every other month in 15 minute appointments, and I would prefer to get my thoughts and feelings in order with my Tdoc first like she usually helps me with (considering I see her every week - and do this possibly for a month or so) before I discuss it with my Pdoc.I signed papers for both my Pdoc and Tdoc saying if need be, they could 'share my information with my insurance company'...how far does this go and what exactly does this mean?? Like I said, I have a fear of "unwarranted diagnosis" - meaning I have a fear if I talk to my Tdoc about how I go through episodes where I isolate myself and don't take showers for weeks and think people are watching me through my windows, that she is going to diagnose me with 'Psychosis' and send it my my insurance company, which will get back to my GP, which will get to everyone else who is connected to that electronic system (like it did when I was a teenager - I fucking hate the electronic system they use). I'm afraid everything I say will attach a new label to me, and that will be sent to the Insurance company. Is that how it works?It's a mix of anxiety and mistrust - as well as being uneducated of how the system works; which doesn't go well with the current depression I'm in. If anyone knows how it works in the US I would be appreciative.
  24. Hi all! First time posting and I'm new to the site. I have struggled for large stretches of my life with depression, anxiety, self-harm, trichotillomania (chronic hair pulling-out) etc. In the past couple years I've found an amazing therapist and gotten on Zoloft for depression and Buspar for anxiety. I have a wonderful Spouse, a great job (despite a rough boss,) and a stable home with adorable pets. Overall life is pretty good these days. I have around 10 alters. Some have come out of nowhere, some have splintered off from other alters over time. They all basically have jobs: protection, regression, self-soothing, order, fun, sex, etc. I have some lost time and amnesia but overall we're all pretty co-conscious these days, sharing experiences and memories. Mostly. I think I'm getting to a point in therapy where I am about to figure out some of the root cause of the DID. I know I was sexually assaulted by another kid (a bully/"friend") at least once when very young, but I don't think I was every assaulted by an adult when I was a child. But my parents moved me and my siblings around A LOT. Like 25 times before I was 16. All over the world. Hotels, relatives' homes, friend's apartments, etc. Could this lack of consistency, home country, and sense of "home" in general ...BE the root cause for my apparent DID? Could this continued and forced reinvention of identity be the cause of my DID? I don't have an official diagnosis yet due to going to a free clinic, because insurance reasons. But my therapist has said, "unofficially," that I do seem to have DID, and we talk about it all the time. Did any of you who have DID develop it without a "clear childhood trauma?"
  25. Has anyone ever tried online therapy? I mean where you pay to talk to someone online where they say you can talk everyday if you want? It is the only affordable option I have without waiting for weeks. This would be so convenient, especially getting to talk to someone the day I need to rather than having to wait for an appointment. I tend to panic at times when I feel that something is falling a part, and this would be great to help keep me calm until I find someone else like a friend willing to support me when I need them. My friends are so busy (which is understandable, and they work almost all day everyday). My fiance cannot handle helping me, it stresses him out too much, so I cannot rely on him for support as depressing as that is. I do not expect anything amazing from this, but I do want it to be more than only an outlet. As in someone who is actually trained to help someone and will do more than the obvious and basic. Anyone have any experiences with it or warnings against it?
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