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Found 10 results

  1. So I am starting a thread for random thoughts because I didn't really see one and felt like I wanted. That are important enough to write down but not important enough to warrant their own thread/blog post! Tell us about your day! Are you hungry? Are you bored? What are you doing? What are you listening to? What do you want to do? Do you need to get something off your chest? Are sparkly ponies in your yard? My house smells strange because we haven't taken out the dump and it's 90 degrees out. Can it freaking cool down already?
  2. so I have sadi this before but i have had many many mnay hallucinations over my whole life time they have been there since i can think such as this thing i used to see when i was 4-7 years old they have gotten more intense over the years there on and off they can last for months or weeks (longest being 6months) and im starting to question things like i thought i saw dead people or did i hallucinate them and its only starting to happening but its hard to explain anything and i feel so numb and i cant access my thoughts can someone please give me reasons why i could be hvaing these hallucinations
  3. Lately I've been finding myself believing that there are kangaroos and camels in the backyard but later recognize them as deer. It makes no sense because neither kangaroo nor camel are native to my country. Additionally, I've been having issues with thinking I'm speaking with people and then when I ask them what we were just talking about, they either say we haven't talked about anything for a while or that we were talking about something completely unrelated to what I thought the conversation was. Any ideas of what the Hell might be going on here? I've never had something like this happen persistently up until a few months ago but now it's really becoming a concern. I start seeing a new psychiatrist on the 15th of March, and will bring all of this up, but I kind of wonder if anyone can give me a glimmer of insight of what might be happening here.
  4. Heyyy... I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. I hear voices, have obsessive/negative thoughts (possibly intrusive), have thought broadcasting, and mood swings. As of now I am on abilify-15mg, rexulti-4mg, and lexapro-20mg. I'm seeing a pdoc as well as a therapist. Though, it's really hard to keep my appointments with my therapist due to my social phobia. I keep thinking people can hear my thoughts and think of me as 'disgusting.' I even sometimes think my family & friends hear me. It's getting so hard to deal with... I think about suicide a lot... but I know deep down that it's not the only option and it is very final. There is help for me!!! Anyone else going through this crappy stuff??? What medications are you on? How do you deal? What has helped you - past and present? How long have you dealt with this? Feel free to add any additional information about what you are going through... I am also here to help anyone going through this because I know how hard it can get... believe me. Sometimes I am better at offering advice rather than taking my own. However, please seek help from a professional if you feel you are at your wits end.
  5. I get it I really do, im not normal and I really dont care to be. I cant remember a time in my life that pain wasint a form of medication I used to treat myself. Its been a nightmare when it comes to relationships and ive tried hard i really have. It seems that every time i get something good in my life its inevitable for it to be destroyed and i do mean destroyed. Ive been to doctors ive been in and out patient and everything remains the same. I cant lie to myself even though i lie to everyone eles when i say that im fine when im really not. I think about things that i cant share with anyone eles and i enjoy things that no one eles does and because of that i know they will only see the crazy side of me. I fear having friends because i know hat at some point i cant hold back who is really inside and they will run away just like everyone else has. Is it so bad to enjoy life in a way that others cant? i mean its lonley i know but when im being me im happy and I feel really good about myself but then i hate it because i know it cant stay. Why cant I just have friends who know my mind instead of treating me like a damn rubix cube.
  6. I am on a quest its pretty difficult but do you know any genuine people with experiences of telepathy? genuine!!! not fruitloops who say the government is after them or the tv talks to them and schizo's just hearing voices thinking people are talking to them. If you know any who want to be a part of a secret facebook group to help people in need get them to add and chat to me. Please no fruitloops had enough for one life time. I am vetting all members to block fruitloops ‪#‎missionimpossible‬. We are a group of 10 on facebook. I want to get those numbers up to 100 with genuine people. PM me your story for vetting if you want to join.
  7. I've never told my tdoc about the thoughts I often have in some situations. It's probably not serious but they still come sorta alot. So I'm wondering if I have some kind of "OCD" obsessive thoughts? Like today I was going down some stairs and I got the thought I'd fall and hurt myself. Some days ago I put on the oven in the kitchen and I was afraid it'd start to burn. Also when I'm in the bus or crossing the road I get the thought something will hit me (or the bus will crash). Does it sound like a problem..? Should I tell my tdoc about this? Many thanks.
  8. hi all, i'm new to this forum. i'm not sure where to post what i'm about to type so i thought here would be best, if not i apologise. i'll also try to explain as thoroughly and as coherently as i possibly can, i haven't gained a GCSE in English so forgive me for mistakes in spelling, grammar, punctuation, the way i construct my sentences etc etc... i'd like to point out a TRIGGER WARNING for those that are SENSITIVE to SUICIDE so, don't read this if you are. also, this is a long post so if you aren't interested in someone waffling on, y'know TL;DR (too long; didn't read), all that nonsense, this post may not be for you. with that being said, i'd like to get some advice, opinions or thoughts on my situation from anyone that care enough to read this. - i'm a 25 year old MTF pre-HRT transgender woman that wishes to start HRT and transition into the woman that i feel that i am. i currently live with my family in our family house/home and i want to move out, but i don't have any money or a job. my relationship with all of my family members is strained, the extent of our interaction/communication involves saying a 'hello' or 'morning, how are you?' 'i'm fine/good/doing well/alright etc etc and that's it. i don't have any friends/people that i hang out/go out with or speak to and find it incredible difficult to go out and socialise with others because i have issues with my hearing, which makes things extremely difficult and awkward whenever someone is speaking to me because i always struggle to understand the exact words people are saying to me so, in an effort to not embarrass myself or those that speak to me, i tend to not put myself in position where extended conversation may take place and my life is pathetic, i have nothing of great interest to discuss with anyone, i feel that anybody that i speak to will most likely have friends of their own and a busy life with varied things going on for them. so, for them to speak to me is like, what's the point. i have (undiagnosed) clinical depression and have constant anxiety all the time, everyday because of the aforementioned issues/predicaments. my life is worthless, essentially and the ONLY reason why i haven't ended my life yet is because in these past few months i have been getting counselling and i am due to see a GP about starting HRT, near the end of this month. i feel like i am so close to actually getting the hormones and for whatever reason, should i be denied or refused hormones, i honestly see no point in continuing to be alive. i'd also like to mention that i am fully aware that taking hormones isn't going to fix all of the issues that i have in my life, making it all sunshine and roses, i am aware of that, however i do feel that once i am able to start HRT it could make me feel a bit better about myself and may improve my attitude in general. now, i hope that this post doesn't come across as somebody seeking attention and that everyone should feel pityful, telling me everything is going to be alright etc etc... i genuinely am interested to hear what anyone has to say about what i've said and can offer any advice on what i could do to improve myself if i could say anything that is positive or plans that i have lined up in these upcoming days/weeks is that i have recently been seeing a (or an) career advisor to get some ideas on training courses i could enrol onto (i've never known what i'd like to be doing for a living from a young age & still not 100% sure) and i'll also be trying to arrange an JSA interview. are there any claimants out there that know if i'll be eligible or not to claim the JSA, because i have no personal income or my own. however, i do actually want to be working and earning a living somehow. so, yeah that's it. i will be looking out for any replies that anyone might have. thanks to those who, once again, cared enough to read. (i already feel full of regret for even posting this but i've took the time to write all of this nonsense out so i might as well post and see what comes of it.)
  9. Any inspiration? Lately I've been so tired of fighting off this anxiety and depression. I cut back on my medication (lexipro) because I didn't feel like myself. I was so manic and hyper all the time. But now I feel like I'm back at square one. I just want to not have to fight anymore. I'm so tired, all I want to do is sleep but I can't seem to without having disturbing dreams. I've lost motivation, I feel this terrible dread in my chest. I'm sick of the thoughts racing through my head. I feel like there's always a buzzing in my head. I just feel so out of it. People will talk to me, but I'm not really there. I'm not sure where I've been going. Does that make sense? I don't feel present, I feel like I'm somewhere far away. Like seeing the world through water. I just want quiet.
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