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I have been working with my mental health clinic with depot injections of my risperdal and Testosterone and an injection of naltrexlone. I have been on these meds for a year now and am actually stable except for thoughts of self harm. I want to start self injecting to build up more T in my system. I also have some small impulses to inject bleach, paint thinner, gas and other stuff with the syringes the pharmacy would provide. I really want to self regulate my T because I feel like I am not in control of anything. I used to skip meds a lot and can't do that either and to be honest I don't like being stable. I am bored even though I know this is going to allow me to date, perhaps marry, travel, work and what not. I also have urges to self harm when I feel empty, bored and alone. I am also trying to control my drinking and I know I need the meds to be injected and am doing well because they are. But the desire to inject more T to feel powerful and strong and horny and they added benefit to inject to self harm ( though in small amounts ) has to deal with control and some sort of substance abuse. Transguys any thoughts?