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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
    • Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
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Found 21 results

  1. I've been off my meds for about a month now as I never can remember to take them. Last night my fiance and I got into an argument while I was making dinner and it got really bad. He's Bipolar and not on meds right now, but he usually manages it pretty well (he has BP2). He's been super maniac the last few days (full moon, anyone?) and with our current situation at home which includes a lot of variables that have contributed, he's also been extremely cranky. I hate when he yells at me, I want to mention he has NEVER, EVER threatened to put a hand on me, but growing up my parents did a little uh
  2. I haven't self injured in around 3 years. Traditionally, I would cut myself. In the event that someone took my tool or I didn't have it for whatever reason, I would take to burning. But things in my life have changed and I cannot risk anyone finding visable scars or burns. But I'm getting SI urges from hell. To try and get my mind off it, I started exercising. But after the first few days, I over did it by accident and was sore. Like really sore. Now, Im finding that when the urge hits, I end up seriously overworking myself to the point I nearly pass out And/or vomit.
  3. So I’ve recently had my heart broken by someone I thougth was the love of my life. The way he ended the relationship was disrespectful, disregarding our years together and just overal shattered my heart into a million pieces. The first two weeks I was going on fine, I kept myself busy, I was barely home and I didn’t give myself the time to even think about it. It has been in the last week that it has really hit me. How much I invested into the relationship, only to find out that I was the only one. How much love I still have and have had for this man, only to find out that he didn’t feel
  4. They told me my epival levels were low, and then the entities stopped moving my body towards the edge of the platform when the nurse practitioner gave me a pill doser.... I probably never updated that much. How can I find a proper way to kill myself? If I kill myself, then I wake up somewhere else. If I die by any other means, even if they use force to make me kill myself, then I am erased. I greatly apologize if this is inappropriate, lately I'm deemed as such everywhere. I''ve tried overdosing many a time, and I've been in and out of IP for almost 10 years (give or take). I just wa
  5. I burn my legs alot on top of my thigh to make sure no one will look there at it. I thought I was done hurting myself but then I started again it has been almost years that I don't hurt myself. I can't do anything right at all.I rarely have time to smile most of the times. I can be a emotional rollercoaster. My mental disorders are such tough time time to deal with. I have schoziaffective disorder and other troubles. I can't stop doing it. I am hurting badly but oh well like anyone would care and to write a letter on this messenge. Not that anyone would care.
  6. Hi ! I don't know if this topic is in the right forum so tell me if I should put it somewhere else. On Friday 30, around 10:20pm, I overdosed on 700mg of Seroquel, and I was wondering if it was really dangerous. (I'm 5'2" and I weight 115lbs.) The first thing I noticed was my whole body shaking, then I felt high and cut myself in front of a friend while laughing. And like 1h/2h after I felt exhausted. My best friend doesn't think it was that dangerous because doctors can prescribe 800mg... P.S : I did it on an impulse, I didn't want to die.
  7. Trigger warning just in case so i'm 33 and I've always wondered in the back of my mind if alcohol is a problem I know I abuse alcohol but when does it come to a point where you seek help alcohol has been in my life for a very long time we have video tape of me at around age 2 saying my abc's and getting sips off my parents beer I have always taken sips of my parents beer as a child small guzzles - I liked the taste my parents took me out for my 19th birthday and told all the bartenders it was my 21st and got me really drunk to teach me what it felt like
  8. so last Tuesday I overdosed in an attempt to end my life, obviously I failed - not sure how I feel about that but I can't stop thinking about what I could have done differently to have made it more successful - so that the next time I get it right I've been obsessing over this all day
  9. I need help with something I'm struggling to understand. I used to be friends with this kid who I'm going to refer to as X and had to get a restraining order against him about a year and a half ago because he was homicidal and describing very graphic things he wanted to do to people and he said he was afraid he would accidentally hurt me. I talked to him for the first time since the restraining order. It was through our school that we talked (because the school has been involved in this since the beginning) and X told me that he has since been diagnosed with Intrusive Thought OCD and I don't b
  10. I've been avoiding this site like the plague for a while. I think. I frankly haven't worked up the courage to check my profile yet, to see when I was last here or what i wrote. But tonight I really need someone to sort of... acknowledge my words? Too know that i have communicated these thoughts to another person and that it wasn't scary. I've been telling myself that I'm faking everything related to metal illness. I've been like an opposite Sherlock Holmes piecing together terrible explanations out of the tiniest things to prove to myself i have been an attention seeking liar
  11. I got stitches in a few of my cuts a week ago, an one has gotten very infected. I had to remove one stitch because the swelling was pulling it through my flesh and pus was oozing from the stitch holes. The inside of the cut is grayish but it is leaking yellow and pink fluids. My mother is out of town and my father doesn't care, so I have to take care of it myself. It's very swollen, so I may have to drain it but I'm not sure. What should I do?
  12. I did not put this on the 'Self Injury' board because this topic is not about Self Injury or recovery specifically, but about scars. I figured it would be more appropriate here because of the context and content. But of course, any mod or admin can move this where it may be most appropriate. Warning: contains triggering content. I talk about self harm, scars, and wounds. I also provide a link below which has more info, and a picture of the kind of scar (scar, not wound FWIW) I am referring to for reference. If you are triggered by ANY of the mentioned content, please do not read further! ****
  13. Hi all! I'm a newbie here trying to organize my thoughts and gather some clearer vocabulary to explain my experiences with. I'm 17 and just got a part-time job, so maybe soon I can seek some form of treatment. The first thing you would notice if you met me is that being around other people is extremely distressing. I get extremely nervous, find it very difficult to speak well or at all, and have little 'tics' that help me think in these situations, like balling my hand up and rubbing the last set of knuckles (the joints before the end of the fingers) against my lips, or rocking my whole body
  14. Well I'm not sure if I'll get much response to this, but I'm going to try anyway. Over the past few months I've been finding it increasingly harder to not act out on my violent urges. I've not been too bad when I've been alone or with my partner/housemates, but as soon as I go out in public I can feel my levels of aggression rising and I just want to lash out. I had been training full contact martial arts, which had been keeping me relatively sated, but after I had to apply for fight insurance, my diagnoses were discovered and I was stopped from sparring/fighting. Hitting a punchbag just d
  15. I have been thinking about cutting for a long time. I finally gave in to the urge last night. I did very superficial cuts but they are cuts nonetheless. I feel so embarrassed and disappointed. I live in a boarding home so I am on checks every fifteen minutes because I told them about the cutting. That is a big part of my freedom being taken away. I can’t leave the boarding home without staff accompaniment. I wish I wouldn’t have done this. But I was so obsessed with the thought of doing it, I felt like I had no choice. The ritual itself was so calming. I just wish I hadn’t done it. But, par
  16. I need to get this off my chest. When I first started hearing voices [maybe 5 years ago], they would tell me to do sexual things to the animals in my house. Same thing with children[i had no children at my house]. It ate me alive, because I am a huge animal lover and would never want to hurt them. And I love kids, too. Anyway, eventually I started acting on what the voices told me. I'm not sure how long it lasted, but I would snuggle with a dog and find myself touching them inappropriately in a half asleep, half awake state. The voices were so loud. I dissociated through most of it, li
  17. Trigger warning: Cptsd, bullying, self harm, alcoholism, disordered eating, depression, Aspergers syndrome, suicide Hi all I was wondering if I have some Complex PTSD as a result of my experiences with bullying at school. I plan to maybe bring this up with my pdoc next time I see her but I don't want to seem like I'm just looking for diagnosis as excuses. I'm also a bit worried that my parents could be upset and guilty about my bullying even though it's not their fault as I hid it throughout my schooling. I coped fine at school and did well at my school work. The fact that I was being b
  18. Trigger warning: mentions self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, bullying, disordered eating Hey I've come across this site and decided to join. I'm a 19yr old Australian girl and currently trying to do a bachelors of Arts/Science at University majoring in psychology and sociology. I have only been diagnosed with mental health problems since starting Uni last year. I currently am diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly known as Aspergers Syndrome), Depression and some Social Anxiety (although it's a lot better than it was). I have also struggled with self harm and alcohol abus
  19. Hello! I've recently been discharged from a mental hospital, where, amongst other things, i was being treated for anorexia nervosa. I was on a strict 1900-calorie "meal plan", eating six times per day, and would be tube-fed if I failed to eat it. Now that I've left hospital, i seem to have segued from often physical inability to eat - the intrusive thoughts were simply too loud to defy - into binge eating on an almost daily basis. The past few days, I downed over 2000 calories per day. I've gained half a stone in a week. However, today, i find myself back with the crippling guilt and hatred
  20. So apparently my last post on this topic was triggering. Sorry, I didn't mean for it to be. Trust me, the LAST thing I want to do is make anyone else feel like me. Here is more or less what I said: I can't even think of things that might trigger me. The urge is just always there in the back of my head and it's impossible to ignore. The worst part is, after so many people have told me I'm just an attention-seeker, I've started to believe it. I can't think of any good reason why I should stop, why I deserve help for such an insignificant issue. I just want to be invisible to myself. T
  21. I/m failing at my job, I am so alone. My husband has spent the week not talking to me and won't tell me why. which is f*cking rediculous since we've been talking about having a baby this winter. I thoiught I had gotten past this. alomst 2 yeaRS. BUT IT JUST HURTS SO BAD and I don't know what to do. I don't even have a Pdoc anymore. just somw shitty family practitioner. I am just so confused as to what has happened. I pulled outr my cutting kit, I never cut deep. just enough to lrave a scar on the skin. and I aleays cut in the same place on the back of my hand top of the wrist. I'm just so t
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