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Showing results for tags 'underweight'.
I'm fighting off tears at work and just took my first lorazepam ever, so I kind of need to talk, if that's okay. I'm really scared right now because I'm losing weight. For me, that's a bad thing. I spent most of my life being SEVERLY underweight. Like, regular visits to see specialists, group therapy at a children's hospital in case it was mental, guilt over eating salad levels of underweight. Looks like it was caused by genetics and a really bad case of acid reflux. It was nothing serious, but it still created so many issues that I was really worried I was going to die. Then I was put on olanzapine and put on 50 pounds in a couple of months. Finally, people stopped looking at me like I was sick. But then, they changed my diagnosis and took me off of the olanzapine. Now my clothes and engagement ring don't fit. My appetite is shrinking back to the way it was. It's just started, but I know what's coming. I'm going back to my old size. And I'm terrified. It's all I can think about. The weight loss isn't even noticeable yet! But I'm so scared. I have to keep reminding myself to breathe. I have so many more important things to be scared about, but all I can focus on is my beautiful engagement ring slipping down my finger until it almost falls off. I need to breathe. I wish I could text someone irl but they're all asleep. I'm working a night shift. I just want to go home and cry.