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  1. I crave love and affection so bad I want to fall to my knees hug myself rock soothe myself and cry. I just... I feel insane. I have an unstable identity. I go from goth to emo to flapper (Me now) to lesbian to straight to bisexual to Christian to Pagan to Satanist to BLAH-and these are just off the top of my head there are plenty more where they came from-looking for it by fitting in with a group (Basically finding it in the group). I suffered from neglect my first 15 months of life by my emotionally unstable (Possibly bipolar) birth mom (I am now adopted). My therapist thinks this is the cause of a lot of my issues subconsciously though I have yet to talk to her of this. I still have communication with her but of course she denies these things even though there are 2 written testimonies-one from her mother (My grandma) who loves her dearly and her grandma (My great grandma) who also loves her dearly-neglect from court (I have them). And my Aunt who baby sat me (No blood relation to her-she's from my dad side-whom my mom divorced) is a a good visual. My adopted parents also said when they got me I looked like I had never been bathed. I just want to be loved and cared for. It makes me want to break down. The worst part is... When I do get love. It doesn't work. It's not enough. It works but like... only for a short time. Then it comes back. I feel.... emptiness.... I feel so messed up. I just want to be stable and me-though I've gotten so confused trying to be loved I have a hard time telling the difference between those attempts and who I am. Anyone relate? Or just also an love/affection craver?
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