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Found 21 results

  1. I, for the past five years, have been hearing; not voices, more kind of loud thoughts. They manifest by clinging to noises outside of my head. Its like a constant awareness, that I can't get rid of. I've tried the medication, and its not having any effect. I've tried deep breathing excersises to, but with this constant noise in my head, I can't focus. It doesn't just come as mental noise, I get images to. Distorted faces, the colour black, its constant. I can't relax with all this going on; and my stress levels are... very high. I've tried explaining this to people but my memory has been effected; and I can't find the words to put it in. I think its connected to stress. I had a few things happen over the past five years, and its left me in the unknown. I think these voices are connected to the unknown; because I can't work out what they're saying. Does anybody else get this? Is there anything can be done about it?
  2. Hi I used to have hardcore thought broadcast (which is a delusion btw) for 4 months straight maybe due to isolation and constant PC fan running , there are a few things you need to understand with the voices you hear everyday when at home or in the street. You need to BELIEVE Because the voices are stupid af and are just a copy of what breaks our balls in our everyday back-end thoughts, which you re probably aware of and the voices talk to you about "intention", "truth", "ftp telekinesis", etc... REMEMBER, the voices are just a reflection of what you make them to be in the back of your head(what you don"t say) , at the moment you are reading this (if you are advanced enough) you will feel like saying "o shit they can hear me thinking about that, o no, they gunn get me", hopefully the people in my head can play comedy alot (which is how i was tackling this problem when i actually thought people could hear me and my intention) Few things to note in case it happens in your mind and can't get out of it: "the truth": there is no truth, lying to yourself doesn't damage you, P.S: Don"t believe you're lying :p, people can understand you hehe Its useless telling voices (that seem like real people) to shut up theres whats going on behind your thoughts that the voices concern most of their time on (at least i thought that they wanted that "un"conciously so they kept ranting on the useless stuff that gives me headaches, and since i believed them guys were here to put headaches in my head) Don't try to think about the "un"conscious (or what you are thinking on the thought level, or being conscious of your you being conscious)... I just made you think about it (you know what i'm talking about, you're in my thoughts, and your neighbours also know it, and yes it is sarcasm), and it probably started a chain reaction in your head if you are conscious of the "un"conscious, or intention, call it whatever You don't need to speak in your head, you got a power in a power, the power of getting understood without even needing to say the sentence in your head, you already know what you're saying, but them evils call me names (prob because i'm either scared or its me not wanting to have headaches) so that way i'm back in the awareness loop (aware of TB). What you need to do is believe above the awareness of broadcasting that its in your head, make a few bad jokes and sleep btw what saved me is me remembering that no one can hear me and that i was just one more crazy fuck, i still find it funny to make jokes with the voices but that's in another area the schizophrenia because i already anticipated the reaction (the base of this problem is making scenes, not necessarily visual) also dont mind the voices if they sprout words or sentences or try to interfere in your sentences to change the meaning, remember its all IN YOUR HEAD and you know what you wanted to tell/think. I know that i'm going in multiple directions at the same time but its point of view for explanation. Take only the good part in each sentence. and no they don't hear you P.S: if you hear nearby whispers don't freak out, there arent any government people or spirits and you are not becoming schizophrenic contrary to what they say. Call it SCHIZOCEPTION And finally, its always what you believe in deeply that's true for them, whether it be true or not (you're prob feeling full of hope, its in your head - however you take it) so dont give them much attention and dont make weird plans you dont care about em
  3. Does anyone else here have an imaginary friend? Or at least a voice in your head that seems to have a mind of it's own? My "imaginary" friend, Anne, has been by my side since I was little. She is like a whole other side of me. She is never afraid to do the things I am so scared of, like insulting someone, doing something crazy, or making an inappropriate comment at exactly the wrong(right?) time. She has distinct attributes: red hair, gray eyes, pale skin, blue summer dress, brown sandals. She can be funny, clever, and a really great friend. But sometimes, she can be mean and demanding and controlling. She swears at me, tells me what to do. She even tells me to hurt myself. I'm not sure how to explain that I'm in charge without losing her. Any ideas, guys?
  4. Right, yo, so I have psychosis... in the sense that I hear voices (or "audial hallucinations") of friends and whatnot communicating (in a telepathic, 'extra-sensory' secret kinda way) if you like. Now these voices can be pretty damn convincing and whilst I can keep my wits around me, it's not uncommon for me to occasionally slip into the delusion that the voices my brain produces - which manifest themselves as people I know / might have just spoken to moments before - can seem totally realistic in the sense they posses their own unique personalities/opinions which I (consciously) could not ever THINK of coming up with on my own. Now back to the IRC dreaming shit with my psychosis; I *hear* voices. The other night I had a dream, that eventually turned into a LUCID dream, where I was operating my computer trying to find my giant CLOCK widget to find out what time it was... next minute I end up on this exact IRC window. Before I know it, I'm totally lucid and feel like I'm 100% awake (but dont realise I'm not, just feel 100% in control/conscious/awake) and all of a sudden, these voices I hear which pester and annoy me and give me grief 24/7 to the point of keeping me awake at times (if I dont have any background sound/music/TV) suddenly appear as - what they CLAIM is - how THEY see/communicate with other people "telepathically" - which happens to be a mental - but clearly visible at all times - IRC window where the voices appear purely as text, silently, to one another, as opposed to numerous different intrusive non-stop audial hallucinations - or "voices" coming from inside the brain (distinguishable from actual voices coming from real people which occur outside the brain (at least most of the time, unless I experience what Dr's would call an actual "psychotic break")) - which is how I hear them. Now in this dream, and for quite a long time when I first started hearing voices, I was easily convinced that the rest of the world does in fact communicate telepathically (because I can hear - & talk back to - the voice of ANYONE I know IRL if I actually try and *think* of that person - though a lot of the time they can occur randomly just by thinking a person's name; very confusing/unsettling/invasive), albeit no-one EVER talks about it in real life (that's the real kicker you see, it's like the First Rule of Fight Club). Except, unlike the sound-based voices which "psychotic" / "schizophrenic" people like myself hear, they appear as an easily interpretable text-based chat window - like an IRC client - with each voice occuring as a string of colour-coded & timestamped text-based messages in an easily accessible corner of one's own mind. And this is the way EVERYONE ELSE sees it, whereas it was like *I* was only getting some of the text being read out as Text-To-Speech, and before this dream (and after it) I could never actually *see* the words in an easily organised, interactive IRC client. I just hear them. All the fucking time. There were a few quotes / clearly distinguishable messages which I read during my brief window in this dream where I was - for the first time ever - able to chat with my psychotic "voices" by ONLY visualising the text in my mind. Instead of - like whenever I read/write/type something - "saying" the words in my head. If I try visualising the text, I inevitably read it outloud in my inner-voice anyway, which the voices describe as "shouting". This "shouting" is the ONLY time *they* ever actually hear a voice AUDIBLY instead of visually, just because of the unique way in which my brain works - and as a result is why they are ALL choosing to persecute/abuse/mess with ME for being an inconvenience to everyone else... "everyone else" being basically the majority of people that I know (or have known or met) in real life, all of whom are able to communicate telepathically, and whose voices I *hear* - but whose "voices" (which in their case wouldn't be called "voices") THEY are only able to see IF they CHOOSE to look at their "mental IRC window". The rest of the time they can ignore it, but like with an IRC chat that would "flash", if the end-user is mentioned or highlighted it does in someway notify them. Now I wake up and this BLOWS my mind. I try to put it all together and consider it, at first, to be TRUE. Like I've just discovered the reason why my psychosis is such an inconvenience to me, but to everyone else who's voice I hear, never seems to have any problems with it interfering in their every day life. I had, as the voices often put it, "figured it out". Now whilst I hear like 10 voices all talking at once and am unable to distinguish between them in any way (and just hear a convoluted mass of crowd-talking like in a busy pub) due to the overlap, I realise that to everyone else they just appear like an IRC window which happens to be moving very quickly but all the messages are displayed individually in a list. Plus equally there's also a LOAD of text-only based chat that I'm missing out on - this being where EVERYONE ELSE (but myself who can't see this IRC window during my "waking" hours instead hears the comms as voices) is communicating in with each other in a way I am unable to pick up on, different ways to mess me around. So... that's my story of the crazy IRC based dream I had the other night. Hope you enjoyed reading. Yes it sounds a bit 'mental' but I have managed to convince myself, due to several reasons I won't go into detail on now, why this is in fact a load of horseshit. The "IRC window" and just generally the likelihood of telepathy itself. Of course I could be wrong in dismissing it all as manifestations of my own, crazily-overactive and out-of-control subconscious brain (which, psychologists say, operates AT LEAST five times quicker than the conscious brain, which would explain how the manifestation of psychotic voices can, at times appear so damn convincing and why they're all able to take on so many individual unique personalities and develop so many intricate plots and various ways of "fooling" me) that is smarter than me. I could just adhere to 'occam's razor' which would suggest that the simplest explanation is the most probable. In my case the fact that everyone has telepathic abilities that they keep on the down-low and don't talk to one another about in real life WOULD actually be a far simpler explanation than the various methods of deduction I've used myself to refute this possibility (which has, in all honesty, taken me about a year to do - for some people with psychosis or schizophrenia it can take SEVERAL years and many of them - myself included - can at any time 'relapse' back into a delusional way of thinking).
  5. Before I get into the neurological symptoms, let me give you a synopsis of my background and family history. Both my parents smoke and my dad was always a heavy drinker. My mom had GERD / Acid Reflux pretty much her whole life and it should be noted that she's basically 100% Norwegian (I've read that Northern Europeans have GERD and gastrointestinal issues more than anyone else - same with the Irish). My mom was also recently tested positive for Celiac Disease (our diets growing up was filled with wheat products, so connecting the dots here, I think she was being bombarded with gluten and her body couldn't handle it). She would have severe mood swings, especially towards my dad (who is now passed on). Her acid reflux got so bad that she went in for an endoscopy and they told her that she had Barrett's Esophagus. She's still alive to this day though and seems to be holding up reasonably well. My sister also has severe acid reflux and panic attacks. Now to get to my own history. I was born in 1983. As a baby, I had severe eczema, and would rub certain areas of my body (such as my wrists) raw on the carpet, because I was constantly itchy. I would also constantly spit up breast-milk and even the baby formula. My parents had a hard time figuring out what to feed me! We would also drink tons of cow's milk. That finally hit a brick wall around age 25 (in 2008), when I started noticing that if I drank straight cow's milk I would end up with (and still do end up with if I drink it) sulfur burps which taste and smell like rotten eggs. I even tried drinking raw cow's milk one time and the result was the same, I was burping rotten egg smelling burps and would get diarrhea! This is also around the time when I noticed my acid reflux getting worse and worse. In 2009, I started lifting weights again after taking a long break from high school. When I would do any squatting motion exercises such as dead-lifts or squats, I'd almost pass out because I couldn't catch my breath afterwards. I finally went in for an endoscopy and they told me that my esophagus was raw and red. I also should note that I've read getting anesthesia and all the drugs they give you during that time, can cause long-term psychological issues, especially anxiety, which I never really had until after that year. I realized that I couldn't do those squatting exercises or anything that put pressure on the abdomen area, since it would push acid back up into my esophagus. I decided to start lifting weights on an empty stomach and that did work for awhile but I couldn't figure out why my acid reflux was still so bad. Acid shooting back up into the esophagus, is caused by inflammation. This affects the Vagus Nerve (which is the longest cranial nerve). Some of the main functions of the Vagus Nerve include, 1. Breathing 2. Speech 3. Sweating 4. Helping in keeping the larynx open during breathing 5. Monitoring and regulating the heartbeat 6. Informing the brain of the food that is ingested and food that has been digested 7. The Vagus Nerve performs the major function of emptying the gastric region of food Any damage to the vagus nerve causes Gastroparesis which is losing the muscular function in the stomach and intestines. This results in food being emptied slowly, that leads to other problems such as fermentation of food in the stomach and food getting compressed into hard pellets which can cause severe problems if the pellets get stuck in the intestine. Especially in people with diabetes, when sugar levels get high and are not well controlled, it can result in the vagus nerve damage. This can result in anxiety / panic attacks, OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), trouble swallowing, chills, asthma-like symptoms, heart palpitations, tingling / numbness in extremities and limbs, blood in the stool, hard of breathing, anxiety attack-like symptoms, canker sores, nightmares (including hypnogogic and hypnopompic auditory / visual hallucinations, such as hearing a gun shot upon waking up, even though no gun was fired), dry mouth, heart attack-like symptoms, and more (I had all these symptoms too btw). I believe that since our bodies are intolerant to wheat and dairy products, it is causing inflammation in the body, which then causes all these other symptoms. So at that point, I began having hallucinations (including hypnopompic and hypnagogic hallucinations). They were mainly auditory hallucinations and some (but fewer) visual hallucinations. They started around 2013, when I got sick with the flu and also had an in-grown toenail (I had to get it cut out by the doctor and it was the worst pain of my life!). I was extremely religious back then (I left my faith last year at end of 2015) and felt like these were omens or signs for some of the things that were deemed ‘sinful’. I then had a breakup with a gluten-free who lived in Montana and the auditory hallucinations continued. I’ve been having them again starting in 2016 after getting sick with a chest respiratory infection (I’m seeing a trend here with getting sick and having these), which I believe were caused by the Autumn Rhinitis / Hay Fever Allergies. I was at the gym around the start of August 2016, and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath after each set of lifting. I went home and haven’t been back to the gym since. I was having trouble breathing just walking up a flight of stairs, and it was a daily nightmare until I started looking into ways to help solve my issues (which I’ll get into in a minute). I also don’t have a great sleep schedule from working late night shifts, so I’m typically always sleep deprived. I should also mention that I think I have formed P.T.S.D. (PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from watching a music video where it showed a death. The image of the woman dying kept playing in my head (this also happened around August 2016). Then on top of all that, I was lifting weights 2 times a week (full body workouts), doing H.I.I.T. (High Intensity Interval Training) a couple times a week in the morning, AND working night shifts. On top of all that, my dad died last year (October 3, 2015) and within a week afterwards around October 10th, I ended up with appendicitis so I had to get the appendectomy surgery to get my appendix removed. A few weeks later, I walked away from my faith (not due to emotional reasons, but due to extensive research, which was already in the process starting at the beginning of 2015). So I lost my dad, my faith and my appendix within a month's time period. It put a lot of stress on me I think. I’m 33 years old, so still somewhat young, but I think I was pushing my body to the limit, and it’s been affecting my brain chemistry. Not only that, but recently, I put the other dots to the puzzle and found out that I also have gluten intolerance / Celiac / Coeliac, so I’ve stopped eating gluten (and dairy) products. I also have done a few sessions of AAT (Advanced Allergy Therapy), by a doctor named Dr. Jill Cohn in the San Francisco / Berkeley / Oakland Bay Area. You don’t even have to be there in person for her to treat you, she does it all online through a conference call on a site similar to Skype. You can watch testimonials on YouTube as well, and I’m here to tell you that her system did cure me of Ragweed allergies. I now understand that because I was pushing my body to the limit as well as trying to stay 500 calories below maintenance (to cut fat and get shredded), that my body wasn’t getting the proper nutrients and vitamins due to eating wheat and gluten (as well as dairy). This damages the alveoli and villi in the intestinal tract which are crucial for absorbing the nutrients from your food. I also found out that my body reacts poorly to chocolate as well. Chocolate is a 'stimulant' and has been proven to affect the brain the same way that cannabis / marijuana will. This could be some of the problems you all are facing as well. At that point, your body is so run down, that it will start attacking ‘harmless’ invaders, such as ragweed pollen, pet dander or even just simple dust particles, which this process of your body in attack mode, will cause inflammation, hence the reason I was having trouble breathing (my body developed exercise-induced / allergy-induced asthma). Not only that, but when your body is so run down and not getting the proper nutrition, it can cause psychosis and schizophrenic symptoms as well! I started taking a ton of supplements and they’ve helped tremendously. Here are a few to get you started. Try these and eat a balanced diet for a couple months. I’ll bet you start to feel better and the hallucinations diminish. 1. Vitamin D3 (Jarrow Brand 5,000IU – take two to four per day) – This is especially necessary if you live above the 37 degree parallel (latitude) in the Fall and Winter (typically from September to March). The sun only produces Vitamin D3 in our body when it is 50 degrees (altitude not temperature) above the horizon and even during the Spring and Summer, this only occurs from around 10AM in the morning to 2-3PM in the afternoon. So you have only a 4 to 5 hour window in the morning to afternoon when the sun is producing Vitamin D3, which most people aren't really out during those times, because of work schedule. This is why around 75 to 80% of the world population are D3 deficient! A good source of information on this is Dr. John Cannell. Go research how vital and important D3 is for us! You want your ng/ml (nano-grams per milliliter of blood) to be from 50 to 100 (or even slightly over 100 is fine too!). 2. Magnesium (CALM BRAND) – Magnesium is the driver for Vitamin D3. It’s very important and we don’t get enough of it in our diet on average. 3. Vitamin C (take around 2,000mg per day) – Look up Dr. Thomas Levy and Dr. Linus Pauling for good information on this. The Liposomal type of Vitamin C is the best kind! 4. Vitamin K2 (different from Vitamin K1 – Get the Jarrow Brand called Vitamin K-Right) – Millions of people take calcium supplements to maintain healthy bones. Yet few patients or physicians realize that optimizing bone integrity involves more than taking a single mineral supplement. A critical additional component for bone and cardiovascular health is vitamin K2. Recent research has revealed that, without vitamin K2, calcium regulation is disrupted. In fact, low levels of vitamin K2 are associated with an increased risk of heart disease and atherosclerosis. K2 is the gateway that allows calcium to get to your bones. When you take vitamin D3, your body creates more of these vitamin K2-dependent proteins, the proteins that will move the calcium around. They have a lot of potential health benefits. But until the K2 comes in to activate those proteins, those benefits aren't realized. So, really, if you're taking vitamin D, you're creating an increased demand for K2. And vitamin D and K2 work together to strengthen your bones and improve your heart health.For so long, we've been told to take calcium for osteoporosis... and vitamin D3, which we know is helpful. But then, more studies are coming out showing that increased calcium intake is causing more heart attacks and strokes. That created a lot of confusion around whether calcium is safe or not. But that's the wrong question to be asking, because we'll never properly understand the health benefits of calcium or vitamin D3, unless we take into consideration K2. That's what keeps the calcium in its right place. 5. Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10) Ubiquinol – it’s a substance similar to a vitamin. It is found in every cell of the body. Your body makes CoQ10, and your cells use it to produce energy your body needs for cell growth and maintenance. It also functions as an antioxidant, which protects the body from damage caused by harmful molecules. (Get the Jarrow Brand – no I don’t work for them, but I’ve heard they are the best in all of these, and it’s what I take). 6. Vitamin B-Right (Jarrow) which has all of the B vitamins in it. Niacin (B3) has proven to be very helpful for those with Schizophrenia and Psychosis. Look up Dr. Abram Hoffer and his research on mental illness and Niacin. Careful with Niacin in huge quantities, as it will cause a 'flushing' effect, but you still want enough to get the benefits. 7. Oxylent (which is one of the best tasting and best multi-vitamins out there in my opinion). It’s got most of all you need in there when included with what I mentioned above. (Those are the main ones above, but here are a few other supplements I take. ChlorOxygen, Serrapeptase {SerraGold Brand}, mushroom supplement called 'Breathe' by New Chapter Life-shield, HealthForce Green Alchemy Protein Powder, HealthForce Vitamineral Green, Probiotics, MSM, Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar, local honey, and avocados for potassium, along with getting at least a half gallon of water per day - which I drink at least 32 oz. to 50 oz. of water on an empty stomach every morning). Get a good sleep regimen as well! Within a month of taking all this (I started on November 2nd, 2016), I’m now feeling about 95% back to my normal self. The other 5% is caused by my poor sleeping habits, as well as stress. I now realize that these psychological issues were all subconscious from the heavy religious indoctrination. If I had never been introduced to these religious ideas, I’m sure I’d not have these particular religious themed hypnopompic and hypnagogic hallucinations. When it first started, I was seeing visuals such as numbers and objects floating in the air upon waking up, which, they’d disappear within a few seconds. I also hear voices, which would say terrible things, and then the voices would continue in my head as if it were having dialogue with me in my own mind. I would feel like God hated me, due to the content of what was being said. I’m pretty sure I have some sort of religious trauma after leaving my faith and also, after my dad dying within the last year (2015). They actually have a name for this type of PTSD and it’s RTS (Religious Trauma Syndrome). You can find some good material through Dr. Marlene Winell online if you suffer from the religious form of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Anyways, I hope all of this helps someone else who may be going through similar! Just know you’re not alone and it’s more than likely happening because of nutrient deficiency and/or a traumatic experience you suffered as well as your diet if you are gluten intolerant / lactose intolerant. These aren’t devils, demons, hobgoblins or ghouls harassing you, this is all natural phenomena and it can be treated with the right diet, the right supplements and proper sleep! I am still getting cross-contaminated (or there is a cross-reactor food that mimics gluten and/or dairy) somewhere in my diet, so my psychological issues persist, including waking up feeling like something is trying to talk to me in my mind. I am trying to figure that out now. But they also have supplements you can take that will break down gluten if you are accidentally 'glutened.' Here is a study I found from WW2, that correlates to mental disease and gluten / wheat below. "One of the first hints that these circumstances could have implications for the psychological sciences was the observation that, in several countries, hospitalization rates for schizophrenia during World War II dropped in direct proportion to wheat shortages. In the United States, where over that same period the consumption of wheat rose rather than diminished, such rates increased instead (Dohan, 1966a,b). In South Pacific islands with a traditionally low consumption of wheat, schizophrenia was only found in 1 person out of 30,000. When Western grain products were introduced into their society, it dramatically rose to 1 person out of 100! (Dohan et al., 1984)."
  6. I've been having voices and hallucinations ever since I was seven, and I would have confusion attacks, then end up not knowing who I am or where I am. I've been having sleeping trouble ever since five, because I would hallucinate, then eventually I just stopped sleeping. I get this feeling that I'm an alien or something, I don't know, that I'm different, and there are people that are trying to hurt me or something. There are many voices in my head, and most are friendly. Theres one guy that just tells me to wake up and do everything(commander) which everyone has, and theres a funny guy that makes jokes and converses with me. Recently, I realized theres this gangster voice that tells me to just kill people I get annoyed with, and he laughs in the weirdest way. I find myself often thinking about killing people, and I keep a knife in my room just in case something happens. I'm scared that this last voice- a really creepy one- will really murder me. She whispers to me only when Im alone. I'm scared, but I talk to my funny voice when I get scared. I watch horror movies, but I don't get scared of those because I just lock them inside my head and stuff. but I'm terrified of this. Can someone help me?
  7. Heyyy... I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. I hear voices, have obsessive/negative thoughts (possibly intrusive), have thought broadcasting, and mood swings. As of now I am on abilify-15mg, rexulti-4mg, and lexapro-20mg. I'm seeing a pdoc as well as a therapist. Though, it's really hard to keep my appointments with my therapist due to my social phobia. I keep thinking people can hear my thoughts and think of me as 'disgusting.' I even sometimes think my family & friends hear me. It's getting so hard to deal with... I think about suicide a lot... but I know deep down that it's not the only option and it is very final. There is help for me!!! Anyone else going through this crappy stuff??? What medications are you on? How do you deal? What has helped you - past and present? How long have you dealt with this? Feel free to add any additional information about what you are going through... I am also here to help anyone going through this because I know how hard it can get... believe me. Sometimes I am better at offering advice rather than taking my own. However, please seek help from a professional if you feel you are at your wits end.
  8. I always feel like I'm faking it. There isn't one part of my day where I don't feel or hear someone say I'm faking it all. The voices are always my own, though. but I don't control them. I never have. They are different versions of me that have completely different motives, morals, views, liking, hates, and personalities. But they are all me. And they get turns taking over my body. Is this schizophrenia? Am I faking it? Am I just completely crazy? I really don't know. I just go throughout life like this every day. I have to keep a journal to tell future me what I have done, because if I don't he will never know. I cant remember the most basic of things. I find drawings of weird things in my notes that I don't remember drawing. I find notes directed to myself; threatening me. I go some nights never sleeping and spending the night on my bathroom floor. I have random flashes of lightheaded-ness and vision blurs. I've recently developed a tick where I like smirk. I will watch myself do it in the mirror and I'll yell at myself to stop, But of course I don't. He now has just went out and has told people I'm Schizophrenic. How can he trust them with something that personal. They view me differently now, I know they do. How could they not?
  9. I do hear voices and sounds both inside and outside of my head when I am in various mood states, but one thing I seem to get a lot is voices, sounds and music coming from noisy objects, even when my mood is apparently stable. These have included: Hairdryers, fans, showers, generators... all I can think of right now... These have varied from heavy metal, classical, distinct female voices, gospel, male voices... Does anyone else get this? I've heard this may be something which 'normal' people get too, though I don't really hear about it often. When I asked non-MI friends they all said it never happened to them. I'm interested to hear. It creeps the hell out of me, not to mention annoying as heck.
  10. I'm starting this topic because I'm curious about the connection between psychosis/hearing voices and dreams, specifically lucid dreams. Now I don't have lucid dreams very often but when I do I'm always interacting with my voices (who, if I believed my previous delusions, are telepathic communications of people I know IRL) in their physical form in a virtual, dream-like plane. My voices would have me believe that everyone lucid dreams all the time (except for me) and it's a way of interacting with other voices telepathically albeit with physical manifestations of each other. It can often be a way of two people having intimate, sexual experiences with each other without being in the same physical location of one another. I once had one dream which revealed what would then go on to be a deeper delusion where all my voices were in fact talking to each other via a text-based instant-messaging-like program (eg. IRC). Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? ie. where some dreams involve interacting with their voices in a more "up close & personal" way? EDIT: I forgot I posted about this already nearly a year ago Seeing the voices as an IRC style chat program so apologies for the repost
  11. This article talks about differences in voice-hearing experiences among people in the United States, Ghana, and South India. Some of the people interviewed from Ghana and South India felt positively about their voices while none of the Americans did.
  12. I have tried most medications over the past 2 and a half years so my new pdoc decided i should start clozapine because my voices have gotten so bad i stabbed my self in the leg and now have permanent nerve pain im nervous to start this anyone have any experience. Does it really work as good as they say it does im kind of losing hope.
  13. Could you describe what intrusive OCD thoughts feel like? How you experience them? I believe that what I experience are OCD intrusive thoughts but I'm not sure and would like to hear more about what other people experience For me, I feel like in some way I initiate them like I could think something like 'why am I alive' and they'll jump in 'yeah just kill yourself do it' but I can't turn it off and I didn't ask for it and it's my own voice but last semester it got so bad I was thinking of characters for these 'thoughts' but I mean I have a very active imagination so idk xD like it's mainly when I'm trying to sleep or study What are your experiences? (even if it's nothing like this)
  14. Hi there, I have had the diagnosis of Schizophrenia from a young age so it isn't anything unusual - in fact it is more controlled now However lately this little voice has creeped back into my head literally trying to destroy my life. When I'm with my girlfriend it says things like "You know she doesn't like you," "You're only temporary until she finds someone better," etc. Also it says things about my family like "They don't want you here," "they're trying to kill you," "Don't drink that - they poisoned it." However after getting emotional with my girlfriend due to my voice yesterday it said something like "Once I destroy whats close to you - it makes it easier to destroy you." then it shouted "kill yourself!" in a mumbled barking voice. I'm not sure what to do I haven't attempted suicide since 15 November 2014 - that was my last ever attempt. Never again. I want to reach out and talk to someone but they'll automatically think I'm suicidal due to the things it says and I don't want people to be checking up on me all the time. I want the voice to stop. Last time I reported a voice like this to my therapist she wanted to take me in as an inpatient but my parents fought my case, I don't want to waste my life on my mental health all the time - I want to be normal.
  15. I was crying and I then started hearing things. I couldnt understand what they were telling me but i knew they wanted me to hurt my self. I blocked them out and soon, I started to see visuals. They were showing me exactly what to do with the picture frame i had in hand. I realized i was pushing the glass out of the frame and i tried to stop I stopped for two seconds and tried again with more forceOnce i popped it out i became so afraid I tried to call for help but i couldnt speak and i couldnt move I grabbed the glass and tried to break it I failed I tried again with more force and broke it I was crying I was afraid i didnt want to hurt myself But soon enough the glass had cut my left wrist and more cuts were made I switched to my right wrist and once i had made a few slits the halluciations stopped I went to my mom and showed her my wrists She asked what i had done I didnt know how to respond She picked up her phone and called for help Few minutes later i heard police sirens and i cried to my brother to not let them take me When the paramedics arrived they cleaned my wrists and they walked me out to the ambulence I was scared. I didnt want to attempt to run away like i normally doOn my way out i felt my legs trying to move faster I made it to the ambulence safely Once i was in, The voices somehow communicated to me that they would kill me if i spoke about them so i remained quiet I dont want to kill myself and I don't want to hurt anyone else but the hallucinations take over and they control what I do... Help
  16. Hey all, I have been on Clozaril for close to a year now. Usually, on this med, it's VERY rare for me to hear a voice. Today they have been NON STOP. I was at a partial hospitalization program and they actually sent me home to get a PRN. I took 75 mgs of Clozaril and it didn't do a thing. The voices were talking about one of the therapists that run group and they just kept saying "Stab the b****" They are also telling me to hang myself because "I'm worthless". The voices then started calling me Michael. They would say "You are Michael now. Michael needs to kill that M'Fing b****" The PHP sent me to a doctor that wasn't my own [he was out for the day] and he was the one who prescribed the 75 mgs of Clozaril PRN. He said that I should consider ECT. But, I brought it up to my doctor once and he sort of blew me off. Maybe once the two doctors get together we can get started on setting me up for ECT. The voices are very invasive/scary. I see my doc on Friday. Just a heads up I live in a boarding home for people with mental illness. I am being checked on every fifteen minutes and I don't have access to anything to hurt myself with. Has this happened to anyone else? Peace, L
  17. Greetings, I've been lurking for a bit and decided to step out of the shadows to introduce myself. I suffer from schizoaffective disorder - bipolar, PTSD and I have issues with substance abuse (which I'm actively fighting). I've lived with mental illness for most of my life and by my age (early 40s), I've learned to cope much better than I ever did and if there was hope for me, there is hope for anyone. The bipolar symptoms are under control but my psychotic symptoms are not. I have been to the pdoc recently for a med adjustment because of this. The angel of death walks nine steps behind me and I have seen his agents of death everywhere. They are cats, people or weird ball and chains made of shadow. It might sound scary but I'm aware that I'm hallucinating and seeing the grim reaper and his agents. I have been hearing voices - name being called, arguing voices that bicker and comment, the sound of rotary telephones from yester year, ghostly telepathic whispers and my mom's voice which is very soothing to me. I'm medicated and I'll need to be for the rest of my life. I look forward to participating in these forums and getting to meet people.
  18. Hello, everyone. My official diagnosis is Schizophrenia-Paranoid Type. I have been on soooo many different antipsychotics, and most of them have worked for my symptoms but made me sleep so much to the point of being completely dysfunctional. I just started taking Abilify a month ago. I took 10mg for three weeks, and since my symptoms (mainly the voices) returned and persisted, my psychiatrist increased my dose to 15mg. It has now been a week and a half at 15mg, and I am still hearing voices. My thinking is okay most of the time, but hearing the voices 24/7 is exhausting. Does anyone have experience with Abilify? How long did it take to fully work? What dose worked for you? Did it make voices go away? Any experiences you want to share would help me greatly. Thanks! -Dragonfly
  19. I had a good weekend, didn't drink at all. Sat at the bar drinking sprite all night then went to a friends house and watched movies fri and sat night. now it's sunday night and i'm fully rested. and i'm sitting here and the urge to cut myself is great, i can see it in my head. the voices are cheering me on saying do it do it, i'm struggling to use some dbt skills to avoid scarring myself. i don't understand why things are so improved that i have to be this way, i'm like hmm good weekend must punish self. anyone else get this way. i'm going out of my mind
  20. I believe there are a group of scientists controlling my thoughts, they've been extra powerful this week. I was receiving so many depressing thoughts that I was in floods of tears the night before last, now even though I don't feel as depressed there is a voice instructing me to self-harm. And i dont just mean a scratch, i mean fully slicing into my arm. Im sorry to be blunt but im strting to panic. What if this actually happens? What if i feel drawn to do it when i know i dont want to do this at all? I've been doing really well up to now
  21. Couldn't decide whether to put this here or in family feud. I think I may get more helpful responses in this area - but I'm fine with either if anyone wants to move it. So.. long story short.. (long version here: http://www.crazyboar...__fromsearch__1 ): So.. I just received an email from Crystal after all of this time: Hey, what happened was at that time my voices in my head were scaring me and makeing me beleieve that everyone was out to get me, and that if anyone tryed to help me they made me beleieve that you were trying to hurt me. Now I have better control of them and as i look back i see that i did some fucked up shit to you and that even though i dident realise it then that you were really just trying to help me. Im so sorry for everything. After i got back to my sences and realized what the hell i just did i felt horrible and i still do. I'm trying to make it right and i know that i shouldent have lisened to them and I really hope now that everything is explained and out in the open that we can be ok again. Im very sorry i love you and i hope you will email me back. I really don't know what to think of this. It was over 1 1/2 years before I found out the truth. So, although plausible.. really? That long? That long to come to your senses and feel bad and yet say nothing about it? I'm not sure when this "realization" occurred.. I'm thinking about asking that. She has a history of lying about MI symptoms for attention and excuses. Is this a cop-out or legit? How would you approach this? Not asking anyone to figure her out - can't be done like this at all. But given that this is what I have to go on.. how much sense does this really make and how much forgiveness, if any, does she deserve? Any thoughts/opinions are welcome..
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