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  • Stuff That Makes You Feel Like Crap
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  • Coronavirus: Because You Don’t Have Enough Crap On Your Mind
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    • Oh, No, I Couldn’t... Well, Maybe Just One More: Hoarding. Or, uh, Being Prepared
    • Casual Everyday: How to Stop Watching Cat Videos and Get Some Work Done At Home
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    • But I Need a Damn Haircut: When You Don’t Have the Virus, But You’re Still Falling Apart
    • Countin’ Flowers On the Wall: So Bored We Need a Board For It

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  1. So for seventeen years I've had pain depression. It especially feels like it's squeezing my heart. It hasn't historically been *about* anything. I've just chalked it up to biochemistry, heredity. And I've thought about suicide, most days, for at least fifteen years - because pain sucks. Ups-and-downs. Roller-coasters. Probably every person on here has done time at the worst torture theme park in the world. Two years ago, my cocktail started working. There was some CBT and DBT in the mix too. I decreased my daily Ativan from 3mg to 2mg. Plus 20mg Latuda, 300mg Sertraline, 100mg Top
  2. This is something I’m thinking about a lot lately. People without a mental illness don’t understand the costs we have: broken relationships, lost jobs, and poor spending episodes (putting it mildly). Add in all the costs of meds, doctor visits, therapy appointments - I didn’t choose this, but it is what it is. Staying on meds, for me, has created some stability after years without any. But now I face homelessness in a couple days unless a miracle occurs. I’m pissed off at myself for HAVING this, although I can’t control that I do. I’ve been depressed for quite a while, but still able
  3. Hi all, I'm currently having real difficulty at work and with a lot of my other relationships. The issue is that I'm constantly being talked over and really have to fight to be heard at all. I stutter slightly so that doesn't help me, and no-one seems to give a fuck most of the time. At work it is particularly bad because my bosses will start to talk over me before I've finished half a sentence. This is an issue because I work as a software developer and communication is key to getting my job done. The issue is so bad at work that every Sunday before I go to work I get
  4. The thing is we're moving in few months. I will need to change my job. The place we're moving into is quite far away from the city we live now in our apartment. I might find a job somewhere closer but I have another oportunity from my cousin. She works for the company where you can just work from home. I could do what I do now proffessionally, but I could appear in the office just from time to time. What do you think? Is it a good idea for someone with a bit of social anxiety? Or will it only deepen my phobias? My therpiest is very sceptic about that as she thinks i shoud be more among pe
  5. So I first had issues with the psychosis when i was 16. Im 26 now. I tried to go back to school when i was 17 but I was asleep far too much to be able to get to classes and do all the work Since then I have really not done much. I've never worked. No work experience. I did a course or two here and their but that's about it. Recently my Dad has suddenly started on the 'you need to get a job' thing once again. The last time this happened I ended up moving out for two years because it was driving me nuts and was very stressful. He doesn't seem to recognise what my condition is and inst
  6. Ok, so life sucks sometimes. It happens. Some days your riding high and others you wonder about your purpose. Recently, I've been going through this phase of wondering just what the hell I'm doing here. What is my purpose? I used to love my job. I didn't even mind that my boss was a micromanaging, controlling, deceitful, narcissistic dick. Water off a duck's back. Lately, however, it's been getting to me. Seems as though the aforementioned prick has decided my job can be done better. 10 years and I've never made a mistake with the equipment I handle while this a-hole FUBAR's it in some w
  7. I've been clean almost three years...That's crazy, I never thought that I would live to see that. But sometimes it's really hard to stay alright with myself. I don't know how to support another person and still support myself and my own needs. Some might say that I just need to leave that relationship, whether it be platonic or otherwise, but this particular relationship has also enriched my life in ways that I never realized existed before I met this person. Spending time with them makes me happier than I've been in a really long time, yet they struggle with their own issues and seeing them i
  8. What kind of job do you enjoy? I really enjoyed working in security for quite a while. Always time to socialize, adaptive to both low and high energy states. Always new situations to manage. Need space? Do a perimeter check, or pretend to read important stuff. Need to keep busy? Create a new filing system, or help someone out with whatever they're doing or forgot to do. In a sucky job right now and brainstorming. Also interested in what everyone else likes to do and why. En Todas! -Toas
  9. I posted this in the depression board and no one was recalling finding it so I'm moving it here. "I don't have a lot of time to get the message out as I am currently hiding in the restroom at work.... I just need to get it out. About 2 Or 3 weeks ago I started thinking about self harm. I have a pretty long past with it and always seem to turn to it. The problem is my husband gets so angry and blames himself when I do and then he babies me for months like I'm just gonna go jump off a bridge if he's not watching me 24/7. That's the only reason I don't. Because he gets annoying
  10. I'm already feeling burned out at my job, and I've only been here since late february... and I think it's mainly because a) I've been working really hard and seeing very little result and b) there's been a lot of drama and I am not good at blocking out other people's negative energies. I worked 50 hours last week... and yet it felt like a marathon. 3 12-hour days, 1 4-hour day, and 1 8-hour day... with all the negative energy swirling around... I just feel dead. And I get to back tomorrow morning!!!! Yipee! (ugh..) Thankfully I set aside time to book an appointment with my therapist. S
  11. Hey guys, First time here. I'm wondering if anyone else has disclosed their MI to their job. I work for a big corporation and my boss said verbatim "it's impossible to get fired from here if you disclose a mental issue" is it f-ed up of me to want to disclose to HR that I have a (long) diagnosed mental illness. The thing is, I would definitely be much better at my job if I didn't have mental issues which cause me to space out for a day at a time from time to time. Has anyone else had experience with this? I specifically have been diagnosed with primarily GAD but also is
  12. Today I had a total breakdown at work. I'm talking ugly crying while my boss held me before sending me home to "rest". There's been some staffing issues and I've had to take on a lot of extra responsibilities so I think the stress finally pushed me over the edge. Right before I had this weird experience where it was like everyone was speaking in slow motion or maybe I was thinking slowly? I don't know. I could barely follow a normal conversation and completely blanked out at one point (just a minute or two but still). Afterwards I could tell that I had still been working during this time
  13. It can be very confusing to know that you won’t find a decent job, pay off student loans or put in a down payment on a house in the next few years — even though you may have graduated from a top-tier university or secured glowing references from all those unpaid internships that got you to where you are today. Even if you are lucky enough to have all of this going for you, you’ll still be one among hundreds of applicants for every job you apply for. And you’ll still watch as the world becomes more unequal, with fewer paid opportunities to do what you feel called to do in your work or for
  14. I started a new med cocktail and it felt like my anxiety got overwhelming better overnight. Overall I feel so much better but I can NOT focus on work. It's like I forgot how to do what I do. I want to go home and stare at a wall. It's gotten better since Friday but still. Today has felt 12 hours long.
  15. I have a dilemma: My boyfriend wants me to work, but I'm in school full time, schizophrenic, and my psychiatrist thinks working is a really bad idea. In fact, she said she was upset with me that I was considering working again, because every time I do, it triggers psychotic symptoms. I need to work. I need the money, even though I have disability. Or at least that's what my boyfriend insists. I don't know if I should resent him for pushing me (when I've explained what my doctor said), or push myself harder to succeed in employment. Any suggestions? Experiences? -utherwerldgerl
  16. I recently started reporting to someone new at work and I got in trouble for coming in late too often. My previous manager and I had a system of communication and she knew the severity of my conditions and was ok as long as I kept her informed, which I always did. Geodon is all that keeps me out of in-patient but it makes me CRAZY drugged-feeling unpredictably in the mornings no matter what time I take it or what my dosage is. I feel like I've tried every combination possible. It doesn't happen every day and I've tried really looking at other factors to try and isolate why it happens when it d
  17. I'm not really looking for advice or anything. I just need to put these thoughts down somewhere in the hopes that it will help me work through this. My pdoc wants to switch my meds because mine aren't working anymore. That's fine but my dream job just came up and I got it. That in itself is okay - a little scary at a time when I need to change meds but not necessarily unsurmountable. In addition to that, I have my grandmother at home and she's really old and to take the job I need to find someone to stay with her. I have some people but they have schedules so I have to juggle their
  18. OMFG I typed a shit ton and accidentally swiped the bluetooth mouse and the whole thing disappeared. So TECH SUCKS. Surgeons suck, especially when they don't listen to me and do things and then accuse me of abusing narcotic painkillers. Seriously?! Rich asshole, listen up. Had morphine 3X in my life, all three in the hospital when I was in blinding ass pass-out level pain. I don't take painkillers on the whole because they don't fucking work on me anyway. Plus they have this dumbassed arrogant attitude that gives them the moxie to tell me, this is a complication free procedure, what you're
  19. I am extremely concerned about this. My depression has gotten out of control lately and I find myself crying almost all of the time everyday which is not normal for me. It is agonizing to me. I tell my husband that I just need extra affection and to be extra sensitive. However, he says that him doing that doesn't seem to help and has started getting frustrated with me and often has an attitude toward me when I get upset or acts angry or as if he doesn't care. I told him that him acting that way toward me will only make it worse, and while doing the things I asked may not make it go away, it wi
  20. I've got an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, but I need to vent because I'm freaking out. I apologize in advance for the long post. If even one person reads it all it will help me. I'm a software engineer and I've been at the same job at a big company for 5 years now. In that time, I've always done well and got a promotion last year. Over the summer, I had somewhat of a breakdown. Horrible anxiety, worst of my life, major depression. I took six weeks of disability and went to a day treatment program. Ever since I've gotten back to work, I still have residual anxiety and depress
  21. So I graduated college with a paralegal diploma last year. Toward the end of the program, I realized that I was in over my head, and wouldn't be able to hack a career in this industry. I finished the program, however to at least have a completed education. Now, it looks like I will have to get part-time, supported employment through the Canadian Mental Health Association in the retail sector. Somehow, I don't know why, I feel really bad about that. My brother and sister are really successful. These are the kinds of jobs that Ive heard my friends make fun of in the past. I want to f
  22. Cream colored dildos with silicone dinglies, men that give me all sorts of nice tinglies, bright neon lingerie with uncomf'table strings, these are a few of my favorite things ......... Ouch! All the crotch bites, when the dongs stink, when I'm getting mad, I simply remember my favorite porn and then I don't feel SO BAD!!!!
  23. Hi crazies (lol), I've been on your website recently and found the information and sense of community quite inspiring. Well, I'm a 17 year old high school senior with major depressive disorder... that's about it i guess, that's all I've got. Obvious symptoms of a mood disorder surfaced at 14 years old, but now that I know more about mental health i realize that I was probably very different in the way I think from early childhood. Two years ago my family saw that my mood was become a problem and starting to affect my life so they made me go to our general practitioner and from th
  24. So. I have no idea where I should be posting this, but I guess this is as good a place as any. I have screwed up some work-stuff so bad, I have no idea how to even begin to "fix" it or even how to tell about it to anyone. I'm at a point where I can't think about going back to work (I've been on vacation over the holidays) or even leave my apartment. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it would concern only me, and that I could just say "ok, I fucked up, I'm sorry"... but it's not. It concerns a whole bunch of people at my work, and on top of that, makes the whole company look bad in front of
  25. Hi, everyone. I have not been formally diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. However, while Googling info on how to handle criticism, I kept running into Avoidant Personality Disorder. I understand that not being able to handle criticism is not the only criteria. However, after looking at the criteria for the disorder, I feel I may qualify, although I think it is not as severe as it may be for others I have never had many friends-especially close friends. I consider all of my current "friends" as acquaintances. I have had 2 best friends in the 43 years I have been alive and
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