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I feel the increased time at home, where it is perfectly acceptable to stim, has made me have less inhibitions towards stimming in public.  I tend to do it in ways that attract attention and tend to get me treated differently.  I am not comfortable taking the advice of a prior therapist to try to accept it.  I have tried replacing obvious things such as hand flapping and rubbing with fidgeting, but I could never quite replace them.  The physical inhibitions to stim are also different, more tense and painfully clenching.  I am not quite sure what to do about it?

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Interesting.

My most obvious stim is plinking the tip of my thumb off of my other fingers, like I’m trying to flip a coin in the air. I do my fingers off the tip of my thumb, too, and dig my thumbnail into my index finger between the first two knuckles.

Sometimes I can tell that people notice that I’m doing something weird with my hands, but for the most part I guess it isn’t weird enough for people to make much fuss about it. I have to be pretty roused to flap, and I can usually feel it coming and stop myself. When I’m seated and really concentrating, I often rock, so I draw the occasional gaze in coffee shops but...I no longer give a fuck. Oh, and I am extremely prone to bouncing my leg. Extremely. I do try to be mindful of that one because I don’t want to rattle a table I’m sharing with other people.

It makes sense that uninhibitedly stimming at home would make you more likely to do it in public. You’re getting out of the habit of curbing yourself.

If you aren’t willing to accept your stimming, probably your best bet is to try again to find a replacement motion that satisfies you. Once in a while I pluck my left ring finger wrong and the tendon twists and it’s painful, and I have to make sure I lay off my hand for a while. I use Band Aids to tape the ring finger to the next finger. It reminds me to be careful with my hand. Would something like that help you, or would that be a sensory nightmare?

 

 

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Posted (edited)

Restraining my hands in some way is an awesome idea!  I used to wear those ergonomic wrist sleeves and I think it helped with that, thinking back on it.  

Edited by Banana Smurf

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Since it reduces anxiety, I'd be worried restraining it would mean my anxiety increased? I don't know maybe my stims are different since they are ADHD stims, plus everyone is different, but i wouldn't want to swap a stim for an anxiety attack, i think that's what would happen to me. I spent so long repressing stims so as not to annoy other people that now i almost have to remind myself that i have this wonderful tool that can calm me down instead of just heading headlong into an anxiety attack, that's me, everyone's different

another socially acceptable one is texture stims, like keeping something that feels nice in your pocket and taking it out and rubbing it. Or visual stimming with one of those notebooks that has a hologram on the front. And then you can get stim bracelets / jellwery that look like normal bracelets to everyone else but you know what they are, they make lots of different ones so you can find one that suits you and they can make them especially for you

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4 hours ago, Antecedent said:

Since it reduces anxiety, I'd be worried restraining it would mean my anxiety increased? I don't know maybe my stims are different since they are ADHD stims, plus everyone is different, but i wouldn't want to swap a stim for an anxiety attack, i think that's what would happen to me. I spent so long repressing stims so as not to annoy other people that now i almost have to remind myself that i have this wonderful tool that can calm me down instead of just heading headlong into an anxiety attack, that's me, everyone's different

another socially acceptable one is texture stims, like keeping something that feels nice in your pocket and taking it out and rubbing it. Or visual stimming with one of those notebooks that has a hologram on the front. And then you can get stim bracelets / jellwery that look like normal bracelets to everyone else but you know what they are, they make lots of different ones so you can find one that suits you and they can make them especially for you

I think that restraining does increase my anxiety, and it tends to head straight towards depersonalization when I am in public, which is probably more annoying.  

I have a necklace like that, maybe I will look for something else in addition.  

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