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Posted (edited)

This has become the central topic of my latest ruminations...I'm still in my 40's, but I'm worrying a lot about getting older. I'm having some random health issues (aches/pains, chronic fatigue etc) that I never had before.

I don't have any children and get triggered every time I see photos of other people's kids (literally everyone I know my age has kids now). I know that it's not a given that all families are happy or one's kids will take care of you in old age, but it's just the thought of having a family around! My parents are approaching late 70's and they live very far away, cannot travel. I have no other close family (or even close friends) that I can really depend on.

Anyone know how to remedy these anxious thoughts? One of my biggest fears is being alone in old age, with increased health issues, and being totally isolated/alone in despair. I'd rather die young.

Edited by Blahblah

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Posted (edited)

I could've written this myself.  And Toby is 10 years older than me so he'll probably die first.  And I will be all alone, and likely will have to settle for sub-standard long-term care homes.  Last time I was in psych emerg I spent my times staring at the wall and crying, because - one day I'll be warehoused because I'm old, and it'll be the same.

It's one reason I want Toby to buy a gun, so when the time comes I can kill him then myself.  I don't want him to be old and suffer.  

Edited by jarn
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Posted (edited)

Well I’m in the same boat I guess only older. My brother is in poor health with a condition that usually lives 4 years and my mother over 90. I wasn’t a good aunt so doubt I can rely on nieces. My closest friends have died and I don’t seem to be able to form the same type friendships. No kids. Ex-husband dead. So I hope I can either make closer friends, find a spouse in good health, or get closer to my nieces and be able to trust them. Long term care insurance might be good, too. Obviously I have given this thought. I will say I have family and friends in their 70’s still supporting adult kids so not sure having kids is reliable plus I would have been a crap parent i I suspect. I guess I can make an advance directive saying please nothing heroic and don’t prolong me in a vegetative state to at least cover that. So I hope I find a close friend or spouse. That’s my best chance and hope for health. Does it help the anxiety?  Maybe that would be stretching it but it’s at least something. 

Edited by sugarsugar

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I feel the same way, but I’m 29. I’m gay and the longest relationship I had lasted six months, and that was over 10 years ago so I think it’s very likely I’ll end up old and alone. The thought scares me so much, even though I am already alone. I probably won’t have kids because I am mentally unstable and poor. I would really like to die young. I hope I do.

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