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I went to the eye doctor today for a visual field test to complete the full eye exam that began in March but was interrupted by COVID/lockdowns and my own illness and family issues. I've never done well on this particular test and it's not because my eyesight is that crappy (although there is some peripheral loss/distortion due to having had papilledema). There is something else going on, especially having done visual field tests for the past 5 or 6 years, sometimes twice a year. 

Here's what I'm wondering: if the very unhelpful results this test consistently produces is due to my disability(-ies). In addition to DID and PTSD, I've been tested for learning disabilities and qualified for having my textbooks read to me along with other accommodations. I got through college by relying heavily on memorization. With the visual field test, there is no memorization, just overwhelming flashing lights and an attempt to click in acknowledgment of each one. 

I'm not sure to what even do with this; I feel like my healthcare is being impacted by my disability in a negative way. When I pointed out this possibility to the eye doctor, he took it in but dismissed it as inconsequential. Perhaps it is; still I feel so...unsettled.

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