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While feeling desperately lonely I was sobbing my eyes out. I felt something in my eye and went to look in the mirror. Then a part of me took over and started horrifically demeaning myself telling myself I'm worthless and should kill myself. Alternating between desperate sobbing and demeaning I scared myself and didn't recognize my face. It was like another person I didn't know and I was so scared but couldn't look away. 

I'm afraid to look in the mirror anymore

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I used to have experiences like this - kind of dissociative stuff. It would happen when I was looking at someone else, though. It was very scary, but I'm sure it's scarier when it's your own face. I wish I had something a little more helpful to say, but yeah I've been there.

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  • 2 months later...

yes, i regularly feel this way (not recognizing the physical manifestation of self in the mirror/experiencing it as alien or a mask etc). it's unnerving. i used to feel like if we could just pry out an eyeball, we could all crawl out and be the separate people we are instead of jumbled inside one skin. (OK so sometimes i do still feel that way). learning to sit with that highly uncomfortable feeling set is a skill and takes time; it's an act of balance: acknowledging the feeling/emotion and what can realistically happen. grounding, in my opinion, happens when we hold those two things together. 

i hope that's helpful and not too out there. but no, you're definitely not alone in how you feel/felt.

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