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WinterRosie

Having Housemates Again

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So, it's looking like, after a decade of living on my own with my partner, I'm going to be moving into a shared housing situation again. I'll be living with a friend of mine who is very mental-illness-positive.

Do I need to tell her about my mental health? I suspect that she knows that I have some experience with ptsd, because I've been very empathetic and compassionate with her when she talks about her own. But do I need to tell her about my DID? Or my depression/anxiety in case something happens?

Is it better to try to hide it from her? What is the adult thing to do here?

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I wouldn't hide it, that would get tiring fast I expect, and possibly cause more issues.  If she's mental illness positive, you could suss out whether you want to openly disclose, or just sort of do it as you go - and as/if she needs to know.  That's what I'm thinking anyhow.   

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I would tell her. What happens if you start getting more severe symptoms when you're living together and she doesn't understand what's going on. I would tell her when you are both calm/getting along well. 

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I have never told housemates but I’m very secretive so consider that. I guess I might say I had some problems so if xyz happens, —what?  Tell a support person, what specifically, is what I wonder?  I guess it depends on what you would want her to do or be aware of, is my thinking. I don’t know how much you usually reveal or what feels comfortable or how close you are. I keep things on a need to know basis but others are more open and will probably advise based on that. I hope the arrangement works out, I’ve personally had both good and bad experiences. 

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On 9/22/2020 at 4:23 PM, jarn said:

I wouldn't hide it, that would get tiring fast I expect, and possibly cause more issues.  If she's mental illness positive, you could suss out whether you want to openly disclose, or just sort of do it as you go - and as/if she needs to know.  That's what I'm thinking anyhow.   

 

What jarn said makes sense to me. My only other concern is how she would act if she knew and you started being symptomatic, or just having a bad day/ week. If I thought she would try to be almost too nice and continuously ask how you're doing, and if there's anything she could do to make you feel better, I wouldn't tell her, or tell her very little. I don't know about you, but I'm like a cat - when I'm not feeling well I want to crawl up under the bed and hide till I feel better. Having excessive (or almost any) care from others, unless I absolutely can't get through things myself, is something I avoid at all costs.

 

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I think you should be upfront. I do see both the possibility of getting worse from the stress and of a crisis occurring if you hit a bad patch and no one had any idea why. I’m also concerned about how the other adults might interact with the littles if they don’t even know they exist. Even just from a safety stand point....like keeping raw chicken in the fridge...

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