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how to continue after making a mistake

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i'm putting this in the PD board because it's a product of my OCPD, but this thread is open to anyone who has perfectionist tendencies.

i started a crochet product for the first time in several years. i've made a few simple scarves and hats in the past. my new project is a beginner amigarumi doll. it involves introducing a second colour to create stripes. i had a strong start, but alas, i have fucked it up. my stripes are not aligned. the body is misshapen. i'm about 1/3 of the way through the project.

i don't know what to do. i feel terrible and worthless and useless for messing it up, even though i know i'm a beginner. i want to throw it all in the garbage. i feel so stupid for messing up a beginner's project.

how do you deal with feeling like a massive failure over something so small? i'm just trying to have a stupid hobby. i know this isn't a big deal but my brain is really beating me up.

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Oh man, it's horrible when you try to relax and the perfectionism still ruins it. As Coraline says, you have to let yourself make mistakes, even when your brain sucks

IDK all that's coming to mind is that old CBT thing- when you are at your most anxious, keep pushing through it, otherwise you stay stuck in the anxiety. As perfectionism is part anxiety, perhaps the best thing is to continue, whether with the current doll or a different one. Can the unevenness be a feature? Like high fashion- it's not a mistake its a highlight

image.thumb.png.0ab34db1c7faa198c5032b6bd330aa82.png

Maybe you can crochet a cute scarf for the doll? I've started to really root for this crochet project 

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I so feel this. I want everything I create to be perfect, but believe me, it’s not. And perfectionism is boring. 

Try to focus on just the actual act of creating. That’s what my work is about, and you’ve seen it. I try to do my best every time, but the joy for me is being in the midst of creating. I’ve currently got an expert in my field laying down heavy constructive criticism on design, but I finally exploded and said no, I work by plunging into things, not tedious constant thumbnails. 

Sorry, that’s rambling, but basically just enjoy the act, and forgive the result ❤️

 

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you're all so kind. i know it sounds silly, but just hearing another person say that it's okay to make mistakes makes it easier to forgive myself. 

21 hours ago, coraline said:

I will focus my energy on getting my mindset back to when before I started..

To when I had the confidence to start..

you're right, it does take confidence. i think there is bravery in creating anything, especially when anxiety is happening too. i read your reply when i got home from work and was feeling low and it helped a lot. i like the idea of trying to go in a positive direction.

4 hours ago, ananke said:

I've started to really root for this crochet project 

maybe if you're rooting for it i can root for it too? i think i need to at least work on it some more. i think it would be healthy for me to try and finish it. i leave a lot of projects half-finished because i feel i'm not good enough to reach the standard i'm holding myself to.

2 hours ago, Rabbit37 said:

enjoy the act, and forgive the result ❤️

that's really good advice. i really like the act of crocheting. it's calming and centering, and it feels nice to do something with my hands. it helps to be reminded that the result isn't really all that matters. thank you. i can see the joy of creation in your work. your paintings always look like they enjoyed being made.

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Rabbit has good advice. Enjoy the doing. Also, it’s practice. Everyone needs to practice before they get good at something. I’ve heard it said that it takes 10,000 hours to achieve true mastery of your craft. 

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just wanted to update to say i finished the doll, mistakes and all. it was a learning process, both in terms of patience and my crocheting ability. i've started a new one using the same pattern and i'm having a lot of fun doing it! 

i wanted to say thank you again for encouraging me. perfectionism makes it hard for me to finish projects, so it's a big deal for me when i manage it. you guys rule. :)

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Mistakes are what allow us to grow. Every expert once started somewhere. I'm picking up computer programming and I make plenty of mistakes. I correct one bug, and immediately get another bug to fix. The key is to not give up and keep trying. Each mistake is a lesson, which gives you more knowledge. Also, if you have a failure and you keep it, later on, when you produce something way better down the road, you can show people how far you've come. 

 

Keep up the good work on your doll!! 

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