Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

WinterRosie

"temporary" estrangement

Recommended Posts

So the tl;dr I guess would be this: should I talk to my aunt that I cut out of my life a decade ago? (if you were here for this back then, she's the one that I blogged about).

The longer version is that I cut her out for a reason - she actively harmed me when my grandmother and dad were dying. However, because she's a flake (at best) and potentially brain damaged at worst she either has no idea that she harmed me, or she was pretending to not understand how deeply she hurt me. I don't know. I had to cut her off because she was causing me harm at a time when I was already grieving.

She still doesn't understand why I cut her off despite both my mum and I telling her multiple times. As a result I just got yet another email from her because it's her new year and that's what you do at the new year I guess. 

And the thing is... I wouldn't mind getting gifts from her. I still make frequent use of the gifts that I from her years ago. The relationship would be email-only because she lives across the ocean and so has access to products that I otherwise have to pay shipping costs for.

But is it better that I just keep her cut off, rather than use her for access to gifts? I don't know. On the one hand, I could use access to products on the regular. On the other hand, I don't need the frequent reminder to how horrid of a person she is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IDK much about your situation other than the above, so I don't know if having access to shipping for gifts would make a serious positive impact on your life. I'm not being flippant, it may well do. My feeling is that as you were hurt by your aunt, have not had much inclination to restart that relationship in a decade, and contact with her would probably remind you of how horrible she is, then don't engage. I don't know if she's this kind of person, but there are some folks out there who'd do anything to get a metaphorical foot in the door to re-establish old harmful patterns. It's possible she would be a very bland email correspondent who you'd get some gifts out of, it's also possible this will cause you more resentment and anger.

I didn't really help but there you go 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is she the kind of person you could talk to frankly and establish some relationship boundaries with? It kinda sounds like not...

Is it worth it to you to try, keeping in mind that you might have to cut her off all over again? What would that do to you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...